Betrayal
by iwannagibbs
Summary: AU JIBBS Jethro and Jenny's life is torn apart by a betrayal too difficult to accept. They both make some questionable decisions along the way. Can they find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1

A/N As with most of my stories this seemed to grow and grow once I got started. I hope you like.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 1

It was a warm Friday night the week after Memorial Day and the two men sitting in the car had their windows open trying to catch what little breeze there was. It was almost midnight and the man in the driver's seat was turning over the night watch to his fellow agent who had just slipped into the passenger seat about ten minutes before. They were exchanging small talk before the driver, Agent Melvin Oaks, took off for the night. They were parked across the street from the home of the Director of NCIS, Jenny Shepard. Melvin had been on the Director's security detail for almost two years and until about six months ago he enjoyed the assignment. Not so much anymore.

Just before he said good night to his replacement, Agent Bob Sparks, Melvin saw a taxi coming down the street towards them. When it stopped in front of the Director's house he knew his night had just gotten a lot more complicated.

"Uh-oh. Is that Agent Gibbs?"

"Yes. Damn. This is not good."

"Should we call her and let her know?"

"No! You sit right here and don't say a word. I'll handle it. Do. Not. Call. Her."

"Yes sir."

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs got out of the cab and looked over at them. Melvin made a decision in that instant that was destined to change their lives forever. He got out of the car and motioned for Gibbs to come to the car. Gibbs had already started that way to say hello and goodnight so he wasn't concerned that Melvin seemed to want to talk to him.

"Hey, Gibbs you're back early. Thought you were gone until Sunday."

"Yeah, we wrapped up a little early so I thought I'd surprise her. Everything okay?"

Melvin had known Jethro for almost ten years and he liked him; respected him as an agent and a friend. What he was about to do was probably the most difficult thing he'd ever done. He reached for Gibbs' arm and pulled him to the other side of the car.

"Hey, Melvin what's going on. The Director okay?"

"Gibbs there's something you need to know and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this."

Jethro was now mightily confused. If something had happened he should have already been notified.

"What the hell are you not saying, Mel?"

Melvin took a deep breath and hoped he wasn't making a mistake.

"She's not in there alone, Jethro."

It took a moment for him to process what he'd heard. The quiet tone of Melvin's voice and his use of Gibbs' given name threw him for a loop. He studied the man's face and understood very clearly what he'd been told. Jethro felt like Melvin had punched him in the chest. He took a deep breath and looked up at the night sky.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"I mean you sure about why the person is there?"

Melvin hesitated a moment then took his phone out, found what he needed and showed Jethro a picture of his wife welcoming a man at the front door. The guy obviously wasn't selling anything and Jenny was obviously happy to see him. Jethro closed his eyes. He felt the rage building right along with the pain of knowing something he thought was going to last forever was suddenly over.

"How long?"

"Just about every time you're gone for the last six months."

"Who?"

"Some jackass lobbyist. Name's Waters."

Gibbs stood very still and waited for his mind to stop spinning. His first instinct was to go in the house and roust the two of them and deal with it. Then he took another breath and knew that wasn't what he wanted to do. What he really wanted was to turn back the clock to this morning when he decided to let DiNozzo handle the last details of their case so he could hop on a chopper from the Enterprise and get home two days early. But if anyone knew about not being able to turn back time it was Jethro.

Still not ready to accept what was plainly true he looked at Melvin and asked, "You're sure? I mean about what's goin' on."

"Well, he comes in the evening and doesn't leave until the next morning usually. I really can't believe she's so careless about it. It's not like she doesn't know we're out here. He parks down the block but I've run his tag. I know who he is if you want to know."

"Not especially."

"I'm sorry Jethro. I've wanted to tell you for a while but I just didn't know how."

"It's okay Melvin. Your job is to protect the Director not manage our marriage."

"What do you want to do?"

"Want? To go in there and beat the shit out of the guy but I don't think I'll do that. Can you give me a lift to my house?"

"Sure."

Agent Sparks saw them approaching the car so he got out and without even looking at Gibbs, he got in his own car and pretended he wasn't there. Melvin and Jethro got in Melvin's car and started for Jethro's house.

"Anything I can do?"

"No. I'd just as soon she not know I'm back. I'll deal with it later. Can you make sure Sparks doesn't say anything?"

"Of course."

Jethro stared out the window not quite believing what had happened. He'd been so happy just twenty minutes ago and now his whole world had imploded. He was having trouble thinking clearly and he was grateful that Melvin was the one who'd been there tonight. If it had been any other agent on the detail they would probably be processing a crime scene about now.

They pulled into Gibbs' driveway and Jethro sat in the car for a long minute without moving. Finally he gathered himself and opened his door. Before he got out he turned back to Melvin and thanked him.

"I'm glad you were there tonight. I doubt anyone else would have had the guts to tell me and if I'd walked in on them it wouldn't have been good. You did exactly the right thing Melvin. If you get any blowback from her let me know. Just remind her that your job is to protect her and that's exactly what you did tonight."

"Goodnight Gibbs. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Jethro stood in his kitchen for a few minutes deciding exactly what he was going to do. He wasn't thinking or feeling; there would be time for those things later, now he was just reacting. If he thought or felt too much right now he wouldn't be able to move much less do anything. Tonight he was just going on gut instinct and that had very rarely failed him. He started a pot of coffee then got a tablet and pen out of drawer and sat down at the dining table. He wrote five short notes, one each to his team members, one to Abby and one to the Director of NCIS. That was how he thought of her, as the Director, his boss; not his wife. He also wrote a more formal, business note and put it in the envelop with her letter. He put each note in an envelope with the recipient's name on the outside.

Next Gibbs went upstairs to pack the few clothes he had there. Since he and Jenny had been married four years ago he'd pretty much moved into the Georgetown house and kept his only for its basement and its memories. Tonight he would gather up a few of those memories and leave the rest behind.

Since Jethro didn't spend much time at his house these days the clothes he had there were mostly jeans or shorts and tee shirts and sweatshirts and a few pairs of underwear. He threw those in a duffle bag along with a pair of boots and some clean socks he found in a drawer.

Next he went to the closet and pulled a small box off the shelf and added it to the duffle then headed to the basement. He took his sniper rifle from under the workbench, disassembled it and put it in its carrying case. Then he took another small box from the drawer and a hand spade form the shelf and headed upstairs with both of them and the rifle case. Using a flashlight, he found the spot he was looking for in the flower bed and carefully dug up Kelly's treasure box. He put it in a plastic bag and went back in the house.

He went back to the basement and got a sleeping bag and air mattress from the storage room. After thinking for a few minutes he decided to take some tools. He found a sturdy wooden crate and loaded most of his good tools in it along with some work gloves and an extra flashlight and batteries. He looked around and decided that was all he needed.

There wasn't really any food in the house so he didn't bother with a cooler, he simply poured the fresh coffee into a thermos, rinsed the pot and turned off the lights. Jethro made two trips outside stowing his gear in his truck. Then he stood in the house and took some deep breaths. Glancing into the living room he went to the mantle and retrieved a picture of Shannon and Kelly and a couple of books. He grabbed his pillow and a blanket from the couch and took a last look around.

Jethro closed his eyes and listened carefully. This was the place where he could still hear his child's voice most clearly. Tonight though he didn't hear her. He heard that little voice that lived in his head saying, ' _it's time to go Gibbs_ ". And that's what he did. He locked the door, got in his truck and drove away.

Even though it was almost two in the morning Jethro headed to Ducky's house. When he was almost there he pulled out his phone and called his oldest, most trusted friend.

"Hello, Dr. Mallard here."

"Duck, sorry to wake you. I need to see you."

"What's happened Jethro? Are you alright?"

"I'll be there in about ten minutes."

"Fine. I'll put on the coffee."

Jethro closed his phone and sighed. This next part would be painful for both of them and he hated hurting his friend this way.

Ducky was watching for him and had the door open before Jethro got out of the truck. He was relieved to see he wasn't physically injured but that worried Ducky almost more than a bullet wound would have.

Jethro followed Ducky to the kitchen without a word. Ducky didn't ask anything; he knew Gibbs would talk when he was ready and not before. It didn't take as long as he'd expected.

"I'm leaving tonight Duck. Don't know for how long but probably for a while. When I got home tonight I learned that Jenny has been having an affair with some guy for the last six months or so. Had him at the house anytime I was gone. He was there tonight."

"Oh dear. What did you do?"

"Nothin'. Melvin waylaid me outside and told me what's been goin' on."

At that point Jethro produced the letters and placed them on the table in front of Ducky.

"I'd like you to give these to my team on Monday. And this one to the Director. It's my resignation and a personal note. I'm sorry to involve you in this Duck but I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Jethro are you sure this is what you want? Maybe you should take some time and think this through. Talk to Jennifer and come to some sort of understanding."

"Not going to happen. She's been cheating on me and I can't abide that. That's the one thing we could never come back from and she knows it. Obviously I can't work for her now and she sure as hell won't resign. No choice here Duck."

Ducky looked at his friend and knew in his soul Jethro was right. He saw the pain and sadness on Gibbs' face and also the fury that was just below the surface.

"Where will you go?"

"Not sure. Got no plan. Just goin' drive until I figure stuff out. Maybe I should have seen this but I didn't, Duck. When Melvin told me there was someone in the house with Jenny I felt like he'd stabbed me in the heart."

Jethro covered his face with his hands and Ducky saw him cry for only the second time in all the years he'd know him. Only Jackson's death had reduced Jethro to tears as far as Ducky had ever known. He sat quietly and let Jethro gather himself.

"What can I do to help you Jethro?"

Wiping his eyes, Jethro pointed to the letters. "Just deliver those and make sure my team knows I had no choice in this. Not really. They'll figure it out eventually or hear it I'm sure. I don't want any of their careers to suffer and I've made that clear in the Director's letter. I'm leaving you my phone so tell Tim not to try and ping it to locate me. I'll be in touch with you. I'm sorry to lay all this on you my friend. I know you wanted us to work."

Jethro laid his phone on the table then took it back and removed the battery and SIM card. He closed his eyes and took some deep breathes to try and calm himself.

"I did Jethro and I'm shocked at her behavior. I'm very sorry. You know I love you Jethro and I want you to be happy. I hope this is the right move for you. What about your career? You love what you're doing."

"I do but I can't see it anymore. I'll be okay. I need to go Duck. I love you. You have been like a father to me and my best friend and I'll miss seeing you every day. I gotta go."

Jethro got up to leave because he knew if he didn't go soon he might not be able to at all. He hugged Ducky and held on for a long time.

"Don't be too hard on her Duck."

"Does she know you're home?"

"No. She's not expecting me until Sunday. Another reason I want to leave now; I want to be away from here when she realizes I'm not coming home. I just don't want to see her. Maybe that's the coward's way out but I just can't do it. I thought….well it doesn't matter now what I thought. It's over."

Gibbs moved toward the door and Ducky followed. Jethro gave him one last, quick hug and went to his truck. He didn't look back.

A stop at a gas station for fuel and some snacks and then Jethro was on his way. He was very glad he'd made the difficult decision last year to trade in his old truck for a new one. This one had an extended cab and a covered bed and was much more comfortable and reliable than his old friend. Jethro sipped on his coffee and ate a bag of donuts as he headed out of DC. Final destination to be determined.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the reviews and follows. Each one is much appreciated.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 2

Jethro drove south to Richmond then west toward Tennessee. When he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer he pulled into a truck stop and slept in the truck for a few hours. Noise and daylight woke him finally and he went inside for breakfast. Then it was back to the truck and straight west.

Over the next couple of days Jethro drove and thought and allowed himself to feel some of the emotions he'd kept under guard since he got home on Friday night. He got angry all over again and when he thought he had that under control he thought about Jenny in bed-in their bed-with another man and he was furious all over again. He raged at her in the privacy of the truck and then cried at the thought of never having her again. Halfway through Oklahoma he felt like he was going to be sick he missed her so much. Or to be more precise he missed how he remembered them being when they were so good together. His heart ached and sometimes he felt like he could barely breathe.

On Tuesday, Jethro veered northwest and drove into Colorado. Eventually he found a small town and checked into a motel for the night. He'd purchased a throw away phone at a truck stop that morning and now he used it to call Ducky.

"Hey, Duck. Everything alright?"

"Yes, Jethro. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Still traveling. She give you any trouble."

Ducky didn't fail to notice that Jethro still refused to say Jenny's name out loud.

"Not really. I simply told her you'd dropped the letters off with me and asked me to deliver them. I gave the impression I didn't know why you'd left or where you were. That last part being true of course."

"What about my team?"

"Well, Abigail is upset of course but she'll be fine eventually. Tony is in charge now and seems to be up to the task as I'm sure you knew he would be. Ziva is very much concerned about what's happening and I'm sure she senses Jenny plays a part in the situation. She'll be the one to figure it all out I'm sure."

"Yeah, probably. You take care Duck. I'll check back with you in a few days."

"Be safe Jethro."

His next call was to his attorney. He explained to Faith what had happened and asked her to draw up divorce papers and send them to Jenny for her signature. He told her he'd call her back in a week or so with a fax number where she could send him whatever he needed to sign.

"Jethro, I'm so sorry and very surprised. Are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean, you haven't even talked to her. Maybe you guys could work this out."

"What are we going to talk about? She's always known this is the one thing I can't….for god's sake she knows what happened with Rebecca and still she…just get the paperwork ready and I'll be in touch."

"Okay, if you're sure. Jethro, are you coming back?"

"Probably not. Not for a while anyway. Thanks Faith. I'll be in touch."

Jethro found a small diner down the street from the motel and had what was probably the closest thing to a home-cooked meal he'd had in months. Back in his room he took a long hot shower then fell into bed exhausted both physically and emotionally. It had been a long few days and he welcomed sleeping in a decent bed.

While Jethro was sleeping in a tiny Colorado town, Jenny was sitting in her home office in Georgetown reading his letter for the umpteenth time. She couldn't believe Jethro had left without seeing her. She was alternately furious or confused by his behavior. She looked at the letters again and finally believed he probably wasn't coming back. The first letter was his resignation; a simple, official sounding paragraph saying he was resigning from NCIS effective that Monday and directing her as to his pay and retirement. The next one though was the one she kept reading over and over again. It was as cold as a letter could be and when she read it she could hear Jethro's voice as if he were standing in front of her. That voice she kept hearing both frightened and saddened her.

 _Jen,_

 _I know what's been going on the last 6 months whenever I was away. Faith Coleman will send you the divorce papers. Sign them and move on. All the instructions for my salary and retirement are in the resignation letter. Faith will also have a copy of that. Send all my paperwork to her._

 _My team is not to suffer any kind of career damage by my leaving. If they do, there will be consequences you do not want to deal with. You know I won't tolerate that so don't even think about hurting them in any way. That includes Abby and Palmer._

 _I don't even know what to say to you Jen. I trusted you and you betrayed that trust and that is something I can't accept. We could never come back from this. If you wanted out you should have just said so._

 _Don't try and contact me or ask Ducky where I am because he won't know._

That was it. No closing, no signature nothing else. Jenny crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. How dare he threaten her! She'd wanted to break his team up when she first read the letter just to spite him but when she thought about it she knew that would be a mistake. Jethro was a man of his word and if she did that he would undoubtedly find out and all hell would break loose. She was sure of that. He would make good on his threat and she could lose her career. It wasn't worth the risk.

Jethro left the small town late the next day and drove to Colorado Springs. He found a Cabellas store and bought a tent and some basic camping supplies. He also bought a good fishing rod and reel and enough supplies to fish with for a while. He had decided on the drive that day to spend a few weeks camping and trying to forget DC. He still hadn't allowed himself to think about Jenny for more than the time it took him to get angry all over again. He knew he would have to confront his feelings eventually but he just wasn't ready for that yet. Maybe when he was alone on a creek somewhere he could do it. Or maybe not.

For the next month Jethro traveled through Colorado and Wyoming camping and fishing and talking to no one for days at a time. He was perfectly content without any human contact beyond what was required to replenish his supplies from time to time. He felt himself relaxing and staying calmer for longer and longer periods of time. He didn't think about Jenny or the team or cases; all he thought about was finding the next campground with a good fishing lake or stream. He read paperbacks and an occasional newspaper but otherwise had no contact with the "outside" world.

Most people with that much solitude would have been over and over the events of that Friday night and rehashed their emotions a hundred times. Not Jethro. He was an expert at squashing emotions and pushing feelings so far back in his psyche they might never see the light of day. That's exactly what he did all those weeks; he pushed any thoughts of Jenny, their life together, his love for her, or his future, out of his mind and heart where they couldn't hurt him. At least not yet.

On a hot summer day he pulled into a small town in Wyoming and realized it was the 4th of July. He checked into a motel on the edge of town so he could have a proper shower and sleep in a bed for a night or two. After a long hot shower and a short nap he went to the local diner for a cheeseburger. He'd had all the fish he wanted for a while. On his way back to the motel, Jethro checked his watch and realized his team would most likely be at Ducky's house for their traditional Independence Day cookout and fireworks. He pulled out a phone he'd purchased that week and punched in Ducky's number.

"Yes, Mallard residence."

"Hi Duck. Happy Fourth."

"Oh my, Jethro! Hello, I'm so happy to hear your voice. How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you? And everyone?"

"Very well. They're all here of course. In the backyard. Jethro, are you still traveling?"

"Yes. I'm okay Duck I promise. Tell me about the team."

Ducky filled him in on how they were all doing. He assured him there had been no repercussions for his team after he left. Abby had begun spending more and more time with her brother and that seemed to have helped her immensely in terms of accepting Jethro's absence. Tim and Tony were working well together he said and Ziva was continuing to keep them in line.

"Do you want to know anything about the Director?"

Jethro didn't answer right away and Ducky began to fear they'd lost the connection.

"Jethro?"

"I really don't know. Is she alright?"

"Yes, she seems to be doing fine. She has finally stopped asking me if I've heard from you."

"Good. Believe it or not Duck I still haven't really thought much about us. I'm just going through the motions basically and going from place to place. Camping and doing a lot of fishing. I'm okay."

Ducky thought Jethro sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Ducky. There was still a lot of hurt in his friend's voice.

"Would you like to talk to the others?"

Again there was a long pause and Ducky finally spoke again.

"It would mean a lot to them, Jethro."

"Yea, that'd be fine Duck. Could you just put it on speaker?"

"Of course. Good idea."

Ducky took the phone outside and gathered the team around the picnic table telling them there was someone on the phone for them. Abby immediately guessed who it was and her excitement was almost too much for her to contain.

"Gibbs? Is it really you?"

"Hey Abs. Yeah it's me. How are you guys doin'?"

Everyone tried to talk at once until Ducky held up his hand and they slowed down and let each other speak. They all went back and forth and Ducky was glad to hear Jethro actually laugh at a couple of things they said. Finally it seemed it was time to close and Tony took the phone, turned off the speaker and walked in the house.

"Hey boss it's Tony. Speaker's off. What the hell happened? Where are you?"

"What have you heard?"

"Melvin told me you came home early and the Director wasn't alone. She's been cheating on you? I can't believe her!"

"That's what happened. I just had to get out, Tony. I'm sorry for the way it went down but I didn't have many choices at the time. She give you any trouble?"

"No, she pretty much stays out of our way. We're doing okay but we're still a man down. Are you comin' back?"

"Not likely. I can't work for her and I'm sure she's not leaving. Look, Tony you're a great agent and you'll be fine. Tell her you need another agent on the team. Make sure you get to choose who you want."

"I'll do that. I'm sorry about this Boss. Take care of yourself and keep in touch okay?"

"I will Tony. Watch out for Ducky for me. You guys be safe and take care of each other."

"Will do. Thanks for everything Boss."

"Bye Tony."

Jethro put the phone in his pocket and closed his eyes fighting back tears. He missed those people sitting around Ducky's backyard. He and Jenny should have been there laughing and talking with them into the night. If only he hadn't come home early that night. No, he told himself, they were living a lie and it was bound to end sooner or later. No use looking back now. Jethro gave himself a mental headslap and went back to his room.

After a couple of days in town, Jethro got the itch to be alone again so he packed up and headed south back through Colorado. He drove two hours to a lake he'd been told about and found a camping spot he liked. That night the dreams started. At first Jethro didn't pay much attention to them but after a few nights of restless sleep he woke up very early one morning with the dream still swirling around in his head. He'd had nightmares for years after his family was killed; nightmares about Kelly calling for him, about the war, about wanting to kill himself. These weren't like that. These were dreams about Shannon and she was talking to him but he just couldn't quite make out what she was saying.

This particular morning he forced himself to get up even though it was still dark. He got his fire going and put the coffee pot on the grate. He didn't feel like eating much so he had a couple of granola bars while the coffee brewed then he took his cup and a folding chair down to the lake and sat staring out at the dark water. He closed his eyes and let the dream play again in his head. Shannon was standing in the basement of their house in DC looking at him and shaking her head. She was smiling at him but he didn't think she was really happy with him for some reason. Then, as if she were right there beside him he heard her voice.

" _What are you looking for Gibbs?"_

Jethro kept his eyes closed and took some deep breaths. He knew Shannon wasn't there but he heard her talking to him nonetheless. It wasn't like when he remembered something his mom had told him and it was like she was in his head; this was different. Jethro was hearing the voice of his first love. He decided there was no reason not to answer her; there was no one around to think he was crazy.

" _I'm not sure."_

" _Well, you're out here all alone don't you think you ought to be figuring it out?"_

" _I'm tryin'. You gonna help me or what?"_

" _Will you answer me if I ask you some hard questions?"_

" _You know I could never refuse you when you asked something of me."_

" _Why didn't you stay and talk to Jenny? Why not try to work it out with her?"_

" _Shan, I could never trust her again. You know how hard it was for me to let her back in when she came back. After what she did in Paris. I let myself believe she'd changed and she loved me and …."_

" _Okay, I get that. But why not go talk to her and tell her all that. Don't you want her to know how she hurt you? Don't you want to let her see what she gave up?"_

" _Not really."_

" _So, what are you afraid of?"_

Jethro heard a noise nearby and opened his eyes to see several deer coming down to the waters edge on the other side of the lake. The spell was broken and Shannon's voice had floated away on the morning breeze. That last question; _'what are you afraid of'_ kept bouncing around in his mind as Jethro went back to the fire and more coffee. He wanted to say he wasn't afraid of anything but he knew that wasn't true. He knew anyone who said that was lying. Jethro wasn't afraid of anything physically but emotionally was another story. In that regard Jenny Shepard scared him to death.

His 'conversation' with Shannon had forced Jethro to finally confront his feelings about what had happened, his reaction to Jenny's betrayal and what his future might look like. First though he wanted some breakfast. His provisions were about gone so this would be Jethro's last day camping for a while. He was ready to head back to civilization, a hot shower and a decent bed. After eating the last of his breakfast food, Jethro packed up his tent and supplies and loaded the truck. Before he left he wanted to take one more long hike in the hills. Maybe he could coax Shannon back into a conversation.

An hour later Jethro sat down on some rocks high above his campsite and looked out over the trees and the lake below. It was another beautiful day; bright sunshine and the most perfect blue sky imaginable. He closed his eyes and listened to the stillness that can only be appreciated in the vast outdoors. This place and this feeling were light years away from the noise and chaos that was DC and his life for the past many years. Jethro breathed in the pure air and had a strong feeling he was never going back to that life again. He felt completely relaxed despite the uncertainty of his future and the emotions still churning in his soul.

" _Jethro, tell me why you wouldn't face her."_

" _Damn Shan, you have to sneak up on me like that?"_

" _Learned it from you."_

Jethro covered his face with his hands and tried to understand what was happening. He knew his late wife wasn't there of course but dammit it sure sounded like her.

" _Tell me. You know you can tell me anything."_

" _Always could. I miss you, Shannon."_

" _I know but come on, quit stalling. What are you afraid of, Gibbs?"_

" _Jenny. And what I might do if I went back and got too close to her."_

" _You would never hurt her, I know that. What do you mean?"_

" _If she cried and tried to explain herself and if I let her touch me or I touched her I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to leave. But I cannot be with her. I can't trust her now. Every time I left town I'd wonder. Every time I made love to her I'd wonder if she was thinking of him and not me. She has all the power over me that you once had and I'm not sure I could leave if I let her get too close."_

" _You love her very much."_

" _Yes. Yes, I do. I did. I don't know if I still do or not. I don't want to."_

" _You forgave Jack after all those years. Even my mother. Are you sure you can't forgive Jenny? Trust can be rebuilt Jethro. Your life together could be salvaged."_

" _I don' t think so. Jack and I were a different story. He was my father after all. And he really never betrayed me. I just chose to see things that way. I was wrong. Your mother….well, that's a whole other kettle of fish. Better not go there."_

" _But, if your love was that strong maybe it would be worth it to try."_

" _Obviously it wasn't as strong on her end as I thought. This can't be fixed Shan. Why do you want me to try anyway?"_

" _Because I can see you're heartbroken and I hate it. I want you to be happy."_

" _Well, I hate to disappoint you but I don't see that happening any time soon. Jenny was my last chance in that regard."_

" _I don't believe that, Jethro. You still have a lot of life ahead of you."_

" _You know something I don't?"_

" _No, of course not. Jethro, if you are truly convinced your life with Jenny is over, I want you to promise me you will not close yourself off from life forever. I know you will need time to recover from this blow but promise me you will accept love if it comes to you again."_

" _I'm not sure I'll recognize it but if I do, I promise you, I'll be open to the idea. Good enough?"_

" _Yes. One more thing I want you to think about. When was the last time you were truly, unabashedly happy?"_

" _That's easy; every time I walked in the door and saw you there."_

" _I felt the same way every time you came in the door. But what really made you purely happy wasn't just the two of us was it?"_

" _No. Kelly. I was never happier than I was with Kelly. Why?"_

" _Because I want you to think about what would make you happy again. You have missed out on what made you the happiest and maybe you want to consider that going forward."_

" _I think that's a very long way away, Shan."_

" _Jethro, I love you. Be safe out there."_

" _Shannon, wait."_

But of course she was gone. Jethro realized he was suddenly very tired. He thought maybe he'd been in the mountains alone too long. He wondered if he was losing his mind or what was left of it anyway. Taking some deep breaths he got up and headed back down the mountain to his truck and whatever was coming next. The drive down out of the mountains and back to a highway took about two hours. By the time Jethro got to a truck stop it was nearing lunch time so he stopped for gas and some lunch and a new phone. He laughed at himself as he took the phone out of its package and turned it on. He felt like one of the criminals he'd chased over the years; always buying a throw-away phone every two weeks. Of course they threw their's away on purpose; Jethro simply lost his in a stream or on a mountain trail.

After a very good cheeseburger and some equally good fries, Jethro went back to his truck to call Ducky. He looked at his watch and saw it would be about eleven o'clock in DC. He hesitated to call Ducky at work in case he wasn't alone but Jethro really wanted to talk to a real, live person he knew so he went ahead and placed the call.

"Autopsy."

"Hey Duck. You busy?"

"Ah, Jethro, hello my friend. No, just about to have some tea. We've just finished with our latest guest. How are you, Jethro?"

"Pretty good. I've been doing some camping and fishing in Colorado. Enjoying the mountains and the solitude. How is everyone?"

"They're doing well. I believe it's finally sunk in with them you are not coming back. Tony has stepped up and done a fine job. Timothy and Ziva as well. Abigail is her usual self most days. Do you want to know about Jenny?"

"If there's something you think I need to know then yes. Otherwise not really."

"She's asked me to tell you she'd like to talk to you. She and I had a very brief conversation at week or so ago. She asked if I'd spoken to you and I told her the truth. Anyway, she seems to be somewhat subdued these days. According to Melvin, the affair ended shortly after you left."

"Not as exciting with me gone I suppose."

"Perhaps. Where are you headed Jethro?"

"Goin' down to Mike's. I'll make a stop in San Diego and then head down probably next week. You think I should call her?"

"Yes, I do Jethro. For both your sakes. You and Jenny have such a long history together, I believe you need some for lack of a better word, closure to your situation. I don't disagree with your decision to leave when you did but I do think you should speak with her. Are you still convinced you can't repair your marriage?"

"Yes. I'll call her."

"Jethro, what are you going to do about the house? Do you want me to look after things there for a while."

"Probably sell it I guess. Not right away. I can't say I'll never be back there Duck but it won't be for a while. I'm going to give myself plenty of time to figure everything out."

Jethro heard Ducky speak to someone who had apparently just walked into autopsy.

"You need to go Duck?"

"No, but would you like to speak to Ziva? I believe she has a question for you."

"Sure put her on."

"Hello Gibbs. You are alright?"

"Yes, Ziver I'm good. How about you? Everything okay?"

"Yes, Tony is driving me batty but we are managing. I am glad I happened in when Ducky was speaking with you. I have a favor to ask. My lease is up in two weeks and I want to move but have not found a place. Could I perhaps stay at your house for a week or two until I find a place I like?"

"Ziver why don't you just move in there? You'd be doin' me a favor by being there and keeping an eye on things. If you'd be comfortable there that is."

"Are you sure? I will be glad to pay you rent."

"No you won't. Like I said it would be helping me out. Ducky has a key. Just take your stuff over and make yourself at home. Feel free to get rid of that old sofa and make room for yours. Really, Ziva just move in and take over the place. I want you to."

"Thank you Jethro. I really appreciate this. I will take good care of everything. I miss you."

"Miss you too, Ziver. I'm happy you'll be there."

"What about Jenny?"

"What about her? It's not her house. She won't care and if she does she can take it up with me. Or, you can handle her yourself."

"May I say that I am very surprised by her actions. I am very sorry this has happened. Perhaps one day you can come back."

"I'll be back someday but Ziver, you can come visit anytime. I'll be at Mike's for a while. You be careful and watch your six."

"Always. Goodbye Jethro and thank you for letting me use the house."

"You're welcome. Put Ducky back on. Bye Ziver."

"Jethro, I don't believe the Director is in the office today if you were thinking of calling now."

"Okay. Listen Duck, Ziva is going to move into the house for a while. I told her you had a key so could you give her yours and ask her to make you a copy. I want you to still have one. And, could you pack up my desk and have Ziva take the box to the house?"

"Yes, of course. It will be good for her to be in the house. She seems, of the four of them to be having the most trouble with your absence."

"Well, she and Jen were pretty close. I imagine she's having a hard time with the whole situation. I'll call and give my number to Cynthia. I'll talk to you again before I head to Baja. Thanks for everything Duck."

"You're welcome but I haven't really done anything. Be safe Jethro."

Jethro disconnected and then placed a call to Jenny's office. He wondered how Cynthia would react to him calling. They hadn't always had a good relationship but he thought maybe she'd come to like him a little bit better over the years.

"Director Shepard's office."

"Hi Cynthia it's Gibbs."

"Oh my. Agent Gibbs, I'm so happy to hear your voice."

"You are?"

"Yes, are you alright?"

Jethro was correct in thinking Cynthia had come to appreciate him over the years and now she had a very soft spot in her heart for him. She was distressed at what she'd heard around the office about him and the Director. She missed having Jethro barge in once or twice a day and completely ignore her.

"Yes, I'm fine. How are you doing? She treating you alright?"

"I'm doing okay. I am so very sorry about things, Agent Gibbs. I miss seeing you."

"Thank you Cynthia. Ducky tells me she's not in but would you take down a number for her where she can reach me if she wants to?"

"Of course. Go ahead."

Jethro gave Cynthia the number to his burner phone and told her the Director could reach him on that number for the next week.

"Are you coming back to work, Agent Gibbs?"

"Afraid not. Be pretty awkward now I suspect."

"Of course. It troubles me how she treated you, Gibbs. I was shocked actually at what I've heard. I hope you are taking care of yourself."

"I am. Listen, Cynthia, you take care of her. She probably needs a friend there."

"You're kind to worry about her. I'll do my best. I'm very happy to be able to talk to you Gibbs. Take care."

"You too _."_

Jethro was sitting in his truck. He threw the phone on the passenger seat and let his forehead rest on the steering wheel. His emotions were threatening to overwhelm him and he wasn't ready for that yet. He knew it was coming; knew he'd have to go through the pain it was going to cause but he just wasn't ready yet so he stuffed them down deep and took some deep breaths to focus himself back in the present. He started the truck and headed south and west. If he was going to Mike's he needed to make a stop in San Diego first. He promised himself that was where he'd face what had happened and what he'd lost. Not yet though. Not yet.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Betrayal**

Chapter 3

Driving across the desert, Jethro wondered how long it would be before Jenny called him. Maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she was waiting for him to call her. Well, she'd have a long wait if that was the case. He was perfectly willing to talk to her but she was going to be the one to initiate the conversation.

When Jethro walked into the lobby of a Marriott Hotel in San Diego two days later, the desk clerk looked at him as if he might be there to rob the place. Jethro could only imagine that he must look pretty rough. Cash seemed to help the clerk overlook his guest's appearance however. Jethro carried his gun case and duffle bag into his room and finally got a look at himself in the mirror. No wonder the young man at the desk was wary. Jethro hadn't had a haircut in months and he hadn't shaved in three weeks. He was deeply tanned and fit but his clothes weren't exactly the cleanest. Nothing a shower and a laundromat couldn't fix. And maybe a barber.

He started with a very hot, very long shower during which he used up all the complimentary soap and shampoo. Looking at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, Jethro decided he would find a barber first then a laundromat. First though he needed to make some calls.

The first call was to an old friend from the Corps who he was sure had retired in the last year or two and was still in San Diego. Sure enough, Tom was still here and at home. Jethro arranged to meet him at his house at six o'clock.

Next he called Faith.

"Well hello stranger. I was beginning to wonder if you'd fallen off the earth. How are you, Jethro?"

"Pretty good I guess. Have you got anything for me?"

"I filed the paperwork on June 30th and Jenny filed her response within the required twenty-one days. She's not contesting the divorce so we just have to wait six months for the final ruling. That means some time near the end of January it should be final. Any second thoughts?"

"No."

"Have you two spoken yet?"

"No. I talked to Ducky a few days ago and I left my number with Cynthia but I haven't heard from her. What about my retirement paperwork?"

"Jenny said you need to sign some stuff. She wouldn't give it to me."

"Okay. I'll get it from her and take care of it. Thanks for all your help Faith. You doin' okay?"

"You're welcome. I'm happy to help you Jethro I just hate that I'm helping you with this. I never thought…well anyway. I'm fine. Busy as I want to be. Where are you by the way?"

"San Diego at the moment. Headed to Mike Franks' place in Baja in a few days. I expect I'll be there until after the first of the year. Then, I don't know."

"Jethro, take care of yourself. If you need anything at all just let me know."

"I will. Thanks again, Faith."

Before he hung up Jethro gave Faith Mike's address in Mexico. Then he called Ducky. The medical examiner didn't answer so Jethro left a short message telling him where he was and that he would call back the next day. Jethro stretched out on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. The cool, air conditioned room and the very good bed combined to give him the best sleep he'd had in weeks. Just after five o'clock he woke up, got dressed and headed out to spend the evening with an old friend.

Over several beers, a perfectly done steak and a glass of very good bourbon, Jethro and Tom caught up on the last ten years. Tom had been Jethro's spotter on a number of assignments so they had spent a lot of what they called 'quality' time together in some rather unpleasant circumstances. Tonight was a vast improvement on those times and places. Jethro's timing was perfect as Tom's wife was out of town caring for her elderly father leaving the house to the men. After the steaks had been polished off and the beer was gone they sat out on the back deck with their bourbon and Tom finally broached the very obvious question of what the hell Jethro was doing there.

"Okay buddy, what's goin' on? No offense Jethro but you look like hell and I've never known you to take a vacation in the twenty plus years I've known you. What's happened?"

Jethro took a long sip of his drink and laughed at his friend.

"I was wondering how long you'd be able to go without asking. It's simple really; I'm running away from home. Sort of. One Friday night in May I came home from being out on a case for about a week to find there was another man in my house, with my wife. So, I packed up and took off."

"The guy out of the hospital yet?"

"Didn't even go in the house. Jenny's security guy caught me outside and told me what was going on. Been going on for the last six months he said. Naturally my first instinct was to go in there and confront them but I managed to stop myself."

"Good for you. Jenny's the boss too right?"

"Yeah."

"Geez, I can see why you left. Sure couldn't show up for work like nothing happened. That's a low blow my friend. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Anyway I've been camping and fishing in Colorado for the last couple of months. Trying to figure out what's next."

"Well, that explains the hair and the beard. Come to any conclusions?"

"Not really. I'm headed down to Baja to Mike Franks' place for a few months. After that I have no idea."

"I might. I could probably put you to work after the first of the year. Doing security for me and some background investigations. We'll be getting a new DOD contract in January and I could sure give you all the work you wanted. Just something to think about."

"I will. I just might take you up on that."

"Was that your rifle you left in the hallway?"

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd keep it for me. I didn't want to leave it in an empty house when I was going to be gone for so long and I sure don't want to take it into Mexico."

"Sure, I'll put it in my gun safe. You taking a sidearm with you?"

"Yeah, I figure I can get that through with my badge and ID."

"Shouldn't be a problem but let me call a friend in the Federales and clear the way. When are you planning to cross?"

"I think Friday sometime. I'd like to take tomorrow to sleep and get a haircut, find a bank and then load up on some supplies for Mike. Sorta smooth the way for me dropping in uninvited and unexpected."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to have you. Especially when you show up with beer. Before you go on base you better see Frankie and get that hair off."

"My god, he's still at it?"

"Yep, same place too. He'll be happy to see you. Once he can see it's you of course."

Jethro laughed. It was the first time he'd done so in a long time.

"I'll go see him first then the bank."

"Good idea. How about I meet you for lunch? That little Italian place down from the main gate is still there and still as good as ever."

"Sounds good. Thanks for tonight, Tom. I needed this."

"You're welcome my friend. Now that you're out this way I expect to see you every now and then. You can't stay on that beach with Franks forever."

"Very true. I'd like to come back when Liz is here. I'll stay in touch and I'll see you Friday for lunch."

Jethro headed back to the hotel shortly after that. He stopped in the bar and bought a bottle of Makers Mark and borrowed one of their good glasses then headed to his room. He was having trouble keeping his anger and hurt pushed down and he knew the time of facing everything he'd been avoiding was almost upon him. First he needed the privacy of his room and some more bourbon.

Pouring himself two fingers of bourbon, Jethro opened the curtains of his tenth floor room and looked out at the lights of the city below and far out into the Pacific. San Diego was a mixture of some pretty good and a lot of very bad memories for him. He'd enjoyed his time at Pendleton even though he was preparing to deploy to a war zone and later he'd enjoyed working there with Mike. The memories of Shannon and Kelly being killed here though, overshadowed even the good times they'd shared during their brief time together in this sunny paradise.

Jethro shoved all that aside and let himself think about Jenny for the first time in months. He closed his eyes and immediately was transported back to a steamy hotel room in Marseilles where he and Jenny spent endless hours watching sailors come and go in the port there. Of course what he remembered most clearly was the night they finally gave into their mutual desire for each other. The work was very boring and the room very hot. After that night life was anything but boring and even hotter than before. Jethro thought about that time and knew now as he had at the time that what they were doing was probably dangerous and definitely wrong. But how could something that felt so damn good on so many levels be wrong? That was what he'd asked himself then and he still had no answer even after all these years.

Jenny was everything he could want and everything he could handle. She challenged him in every way and demanded the best he had to give. From the very beginning even though he knew he should stop them he found he was powerless to tell Jenny no. He wanted to please her and see her smile and hear her laugh. He wanted her to touch him and hold him and be with him always. Of course he never found a way to tell her all that. He just did the best he could to show her how much he wanted her.

When they got to Paris life was even harder and yet even better because they were posing as a couple. That meant Jethro could hold her hand in public, kiss her in public, laugh with her in public. He never tired of doing any of those things. He never got tired of watching her or listening to her even when she was yelling at him. He vowed to protect her and get her home safely and in Serbia that almost got him killed. Of course the recuperation and hiding that caused was pretty much worth getting shot if you asked him. But then it was back to Paris and just when he thought he was ready to tell Jenny why he sometimes woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare, she was gone. Before he could tell her he loved her and wanted her forever she wrote him a letter and disappeared.

Jethro looked down and saw his glass was empty and his hand was gripping it so tightly his knuckles were white. He took a deep breath and moved around the room a bit to get himself together then he poured himself another drink and took a long sip. He hadn't thought about Europe in a long time. Much like San Diego, the memories of his time there were bittersweet with the bitter often overwhelming the sweet. He had fallen in love with Jenny there and she had broken his heart and his spirit when she left. The next several years brought a series of questionable relationships, two more failed marriages and countless bottles of bourbon, all designed to help him forget Jenny Shephard. None of that had really helped. Only time and distance had eventually made a difference.

Then all of a sudden there she was, standing in MTAC, back in his world and his boss to top it all off. Now Jethro let himself think about those first months when Jenny was back. They fought each other over the smallest things and neither of them would admit how much they'd missed each other. Finally though Jenny showed up in his basement one night and asked him to forgive her for leaving him in Paris. She'd explained all about her five year plan and how she'd been afraid being with him would hamper her career and her search for the man she held responsible for her father's death. Jethro had listened and watched her pacing around and around the boat and finally he'd just taken her in his arms and kissed her. Tonight, standing all alone in a hotel room in California, Jethro could still feel that kiss. He could still remember how she'd hesitated at first but then pretty quickly melted into him and wrapped herself around him. He could feel the softness of her hair as his fingers tangled in those auburn waves. He could still smell that expensive perfume she'd worn ever since Paris. He could still remember how she tasted that first time he'd kissed her after six years of missing her.

His drink was gone. He poured another one and downed it in one swallow. He felt a tightening in his chest and a dead weight in the pit of his stomach. After that night in the basement they were rarely apart when they weren't working. They didn't try to hide their relationship. In fact Jenny had told SecNav the next day that she and her senior agent were in a relationship and would keep their personal lives very much apart from their professional lives. And, they'd managed to do just that for almost four years now. They'd gotten married just two months after that kiss in the basement and life was good again. Until Jethro came home that awful Friday night and Melvin sucker punched him with the news that his wife was cheating on him.

Jethro finally let himself think about not ever kissing Jenny again. Not ever touching her or feeling her against him as they slept together. The idea that she had allowed another man those privileges in his place brought all his anger back to the surface and Jethro had to consciously stop himself from punching the window. The idea that he would never make love to Jenny again made him sick.

He'd had just enough to drink that he wanted to let himself really hurt. He wanted to get really angry. He thought if he could let his emotions overflow or overheat or something then he would be able to let Jenny go. Jethro closed his eyes and pictured Jenny as she had been the night before he left on that last case. She had been home when he got there and after they ate a quiet supper she had led him upstairs to the bedroom. She said she didn't want him to go. Said he should let DiNozzo and Ziva go instead and he should stay home with her. All the while she was saying this she was undressing him. He remembered he hadn't said anything; he just listened and watched and enjoyed her touching him.

Jenny had made love to him that night with a fierceness he hadn't felt from her in a while. Now he wondered why but at the time he simply enjoyed it. As lovers he and Jenny had fit together perfectly from the very beginning. He could spend hours just touching and tasting and enjoying her and when she came apart in his arms he felt like he could do anything. Jenny did things to him no other woman had ever done. She elicited feelings from him he didn't even know he was capable of feeling. When she touched him and whispered in his ear he felt like the luckiest man alive. Had she touched her new lover like that? Whispered in his ear? The realization that he would never feel Jenny's touch again finally broke him and Jethro sat on the bed and cried.

He cried for all the years he'd thought they would have together. The days they would spend doing nothing together. The nights they would spend wrapped up with each other. He mourned all the love he'd wanted to give her that now he would never give to anyone. Jethro didn't want to love another woman. Jenny was the last woman he wanted and now he didn't have her anymore. He grieved all the lost kisses and long walks and nights sitting by the fire holding hands and making out like teenagers. All the laughter and arguments they would never have and all the making up they would never do.

Why had this happened? What had he done to drive Jenny to take a lover? Jethro knew that by loving Jenny he had allowed her to hold an enormous amount of power over him. She had been able to extract pretty much whatever she wanted from him over the years whether it was the last of the coffee or the new leather sofa she recently talked him into or his undivided attention for an entire weekend. Of course he hadn't minded giving her that power because he knew he had the same power over her. At least he'd thought he did. Now he wasn't so sure. Apparently she didn't need him nearly as much as he needed her.

Jethro laid back on the bed, his feet on the floor and his glass of bourbon balanced on his stomach. The tears were gone and the anger was coming back. Who was this man who had taken his place in Jenny's bed? Part of him didn't want to know but another part wanted to know so he could find him and threaten him and have him looking over his shoulder the rest of his miserable life. Jethro smiled briefly at the thought of Ziva finding out who he was and doing the scaring for him. That would be fun to know about.

Why had Jenny betrayed him? Why not just tell him she was unhappy in the marriage and wanted out? That was certainly not something he hadn't heard before so why not just do that and get on with her life. Most people probably wouldn't have been surprised by them divorcing. In fact most people probably expected it anyway. They made a strikingly attractive couple but in many ways they were mismatched. That had never bothered Jethro but maybe it bothered Jenny. Maybe his rough edges finally were just too much for her to deal with any longer.

He realized that by leaving the way he did he most likely would never know why Jenny had done what she'd done. Maybe, he thought, he should have stayed, confronted her and demanded an explanation. He could still have left but maybe that would have given him the answers he wanted. Then again a confrontation, especially that night, might have turned out very badly. He would not have hurt Jenny; he could not imagine any scenario where he would put his hands on her in anger, but he most certainly could have hurt the man in the house with her. He probably wouldn't have killed the guy but a visit to the emergency room for the jerk could easily have been needed. He certainly wouldn't have been kissing Jethro's wife again any time soon.

Jethro got up and poured himself another drink. He was ready to stop thinking about Jenny and what he'd lost. He just wanted to get to Mexico and wallow in his sadness and anger for a few months. First though he needed to take care of tomorrow. He'd do as he planned; he'd get a haircut, find a branch of his bank and get some business done and maybe go to the beach for a while. Then the next morning he'd head to the Marine Base, buy supplies, have lunch with Tom and head south. He downed the last of his drink, stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed.

When he woke up the next morning it was almost eight o'clock which qualified as sleeping very late for Jethro. He ordered some room service breakfast to include a pot of coffee and took a quick shower. He was pulling on his pants when the room service waiter knocked on the door. Jethro's head was pounding not only from too much bourbon but from an argument going on in there. Part of his brain was telling him he could easily get in his truck and head back to DC and his wife. He could talk to her, work things out somehow and have the woman he loved back in his life. The other little voice in his head just kept saying, "she betrayed you, she lied to you, she brought another man into her bed." Two eggs, toast and bacon and two cups of coffee finally shut up the voices in his head. The ache continued but he preferred that to the argument. As he walked to his truck he asked himself which voice he truly wanted to listen to. When he turned toward the barber shop instead of the highway going east he guessed he had his answer.

The old barber shop where Jethro and all his buddies had gotten their hair cut so many years ago was still in business and still looked pretty much the same. The building had been repainted and the surrounding area was little worse for the wear but still not too bad. Jethro couldn't believe Frankie was still cutting hair after all this time. But when he thought about it, it made sense. Frankie had started cutting hair with his dad and then inherited the shop when his father retired. Jethro watched as young Marine exited with a newly cut, 'high and tight'.

When he entered the shop the familiar tinkle of the bell over the door sounded announcing his arrival. Frankie called from the back room that he'd be there in a second. Jethro stood just inside the door taking in the familiar smells of shaving cream and leather. He wondered if Frankie would recognize him after all these years. Jethro turned when he heard Frankie step through the back, swinging door.

"Well look who's here! Damn Gunny, you got gray!"

Frankie reached out his hand and Jethro smiled at him and shook his hand.

"How are you Frankie? Been a long time."

"That it has. I'm just fine, Jethro how are you these days?"

"Pretty good. I was thinking I could use a shave and haircut."

"Looks like you coulda used both of those things a while ago. Come sit down and tell me what you've been doin' and I'll get you fixed up."

Jethro gave his old friend a very abbreviated version of the last twenty years.

"I was sure sorry to hear about you wife and daughter back then. Everybody was pretty tore up about it."

"Thanks. It was a hard time. How's your family?"

"My wife passed away a couple of years ago. Cancer. My boys are both married and I've got three grandkids. Two girls and a boy. They all live around here pretty close which is nice. What are you doin' out here all the way from DC?"

"Heading down to Baja to see my old boss for a while. Do some fishing and a lot of nothing."

Frankie finished the hair cut and brushed off the last of the clippings from Jethro's collar. Jethro looked at himself in the mirror and thought he finally looked like himself again.

"Thanks Frankie. That looks better."

"I should hope so. Where you been that you could get so shaggy?"

"Been camping in Colorado for a month or so. No barbers around there. None I'd trust anyway."

"Gunny it's great to see you. Whatever's gone wrong for you I hope you can get it worked out."

"Whatta ya mean?"

"You know Jethro, I've been at this a pretty long time and I can read people better than most bartenders. You got something weighing you down my friend. I hope it works out."

"Thanks. It will. Just some troubles at home. It'll all be fine. It was great seeing you, Frankie. I'll be in Mexico for a few months so I may be back to see you."

"I'd like that. You take care Gunny."

"I will. Thanks again."

Jethro found a bank and did what he needed to do about accessing his accounts while he was in Mexico. He was surprised to see by his account statement that he was being paid as if he was still on active duty. He wondered what Jenny had done. She had obviously not filed his retirement papers as he'd told her he wanted her to do. Well, he'd deal with that when she called. If she called. Now he realized he would have to call her if she didn't call him before he went to Mike's. Great, just what he wanted to, argue with Jenny about his job.

After a leisurely lunch at the beach Jethro headed back to the hotel. He had decided he would call Mike and tell him he was coming. That way he could find out if his old boss needed anything he could take with him. Truck parts were hard to find where Mike was and his old truck was constantly in need of something. Same thing with the cabin. Jethro would need to be busy when he was there so he thought he'd get Mike's shopping list before he left town so he could work on some projects.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Here's a short little bonus chapter for a Sunday afternoon. Short but important.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 4

Jethro made it back to the Marriott and as he was walking through the lobby to the elevators the desk clerk called out to him.

"Agent Gibbs?"

Jethro knew instantly someone who knew him had been there looking for him because he didn't check in as Agent Gibbs and had not used that name since he arrived. He stepped over to the desk.

"Yes, what do you need?"

"There's someone waiting for you in the bar."

"Who is it?"

"I don't know sir. A man came in asking for you and when I said you were out he said he'd wait and asked me to send you in the bar when you arrived."

"He alone?"

"No sir. There was a woman with him. Petite, red hair, very high heels. Very attractive."

"Okay. Thanks."

Jethro took a minute to process all that. How in the hell did she find him and what was she doing in California? Only one way to find out. He walked over to the bar and stepped into the dim space. As he did so, a man got up from a table near the door and stepped out to greet him.

"Hello, Gibbs. Sorry for springing this on you."

"Hello, Melvin. You seem to be saying that to me too often. What are you doing here?"

"She wants to talk to you. I couldn't persuade her otherwise."

"It's okay. She alright?"

"Mostly. She's sitting in the back."

"Okay. We won't be long."

Melvin nodded and sat back down watching Jethro make his way to the back of the bar area. Jethro saw her sitting in the very back of the bar, no one else around. Her hands were wrapped around a thick, ceramic coffee mug. She looked tired but still beautiful as far as Jethro was concerned. He forced himself to remember all the feelings he'd gone through last night. He drew on the anger he'd felt and shoved the sadness way down where it couldn't get out. He stepped up to the table and looked down at his wife. Jenny looked up at him and he saw a wariness in her eyes that hurt his soul. No matter what he never thought Jenny would be afraid of him.

"Hello, Jen."

"Jethro. I hope it's okay I'm here."

"What are you doing out here, Jen?'

"Callen got in a bit of trouble and I needed to come sort some things out."

"He okay?"

"Yes, he will be."

"Something Leon couldn't handle?"

They both knew this small talk was simply a stalling tactic to put off the hard conversation that was coming.

"He's in Hawaii with Jackie for their anniversary. I didn't want to spoil that."

"How'd you find me?"

"Heddy found you actually."

"Figures. So, you're using the resources of the SpecOps Division to track down one retired agent? Not very efficient use of agency funds."

"You're not just some agent, Jethro. You're my senior field agent. My husband."

"Not an agent anymore, Jen. At least I'm not supposed to be. My bank statement says otherwise. Why is that?"

"I have you on the books as being on annual leave. You have about eight more weeks of that. Retirement is final Jethro, I didn't want to do that until I talked to you and you convinced me you're sure that's what you want to do."

"I don't know that convincing you is required. I can call personnel myself and take care of it if that makes it easier for you. In fact, I'll take care of it tomorrow."

"Just use the leave Jethro."

"Why are you really here, Jen?"

Jenny had kept her gaze pretty steady on Jethro's face up until now but with that question she dropped her eyes to her coffee. Jethro watched her knowing she was trying to make sure she said what she wanted to say in the right way. It was hard for him to look her in the eyes because he kept thinking about how much he loved getting lost in there. Seeing her so close was hard. He wanted to touch her, hold her in his arms and wish away the past two months but of course that wasn't happening. Not the touching or the holding and not the wishing. Finally Jenny looked up at him.

"I wanted to see you and tell you how sorry I am, Jethro."

"Sorry I found out or sorry you betrayed me?"

The anger wasn't far below the surface and Jenny knew she needed to tread lightly. She didn't want to fight with him. She wasn't sure she could do this but she knew she needed to at least try.

"Both. I don't have any excuse or any explanation. I just need you to know I'm sorry, so damn sorry, Jethro. I love you and I don't know what I was doing."

"Got a funny way of showing your love, Jen."

Jenny reached for his hand and he pulled back before she could touch him. He didn't trust himself if she touched him.

"Jethro, can you ever forgive me?"

"Does it matter? We can't come back from what you did. Sure I can forgive you but I can't trust you. I can't forget that you betrayed me."

Jenny didn't know what to say. She studied the coffee now cold in her cup. She told herself not to cry; Jethro hated it when she cried. She wanted to be angry at his attitude but knew that wasn't fair.

"What do you want from me Jen?"

"Just don't shut the door on us Jethro. I know I did the most horrible thing to us but I love you. I do. Maybe in time we could work things out. I will do anything to earn your trust back."

"You shut the door on us when you took a lover. You did that, not me."

"Then just don't lock it Jethro. Please, just think about it. There has to be a way we can salvage our life together. We went through so much to get there."

"Yes, we did and then you threw it all away. And for what? Is the guy even still there? Does he still keep you warm at night? You left me once and I got past that and took you back and now you've done it again but in a much worse way. No, Jen we're not coming back from this. We're not salvaging anything."

He was angry now and he didn't try to hide it. He wasn't intentionally trying to hurt her but he couldn't believe she thought they might get back together. Maybe she didn't know him as well as he thought she did.

"Jethro, other people reconcile and survive this sort of thing why can't we? Is it because of your pride? You don't want to be the man whose wife had an affair but you took her back? Is that it?"

"You're kidding right? You think I give a damn what other people think about us? I don't. I care about you betraying my trust and our marriage. I think we're done here Jenny. You need to go back to DC, run your agency and in six months you'll be divorced and free to do as you please."

Now it was her turn to ask, "What do you want from me, Jethro? I apologized. I told you I love you and I know I made a mistake. What else do you want me to do? Just tell me!"

Jethro wasn't really surprised at her attitude. She had always gotten her way with him and this was really the first time he'd told her no and made her believe it. It did baffle him a bit that she seemed clueless as to the seriousness of her error.

"No! A mistake is getting the wrong order at the drive-thru. What you did was not a mistake, Jenny, it was a decision you made with intent. I don't want you to do anything except sign the divorce papers and then go on with your life."

Now she was angry and just a little disbelieving that Jethro wasn't giving in to her.

"And what are you going to do? Sit on the beach with Mike Franks the rest of your life? You will die of boredom Jethro. You love the action, the chase. What are you going to do?"

"That's not really your concern anymore. I think we're done here Jen. Go back to DC."

Jethro stood up to leave. Jenny stood up and reached for his arm and again he pulled away from her.

"Why won't you let me touch you Jethro? Are you afraid if I do you'll like it and you'll remember what we had and what you still want?"

"I know I'd like it. Yes, I remember very clearly what we had, how much I loved it. Loved you. How much I craved your touch, your scent, the feel of you against me. I remember Jen. God help me I can't forget it now matter how hard I try. But that's over and I can't have it anymore so, no, I don't want you to touch me."

"There has to be something I can do to change things for us? We belong together. You've said so many times."

"Here's what you can do Jen; go back to that moment when you decided to let another man have what you'd promised was only for me. That moment you decided to let another man into that most intimate place that was supposed to be only for me. Go back to that moment and make another choice. If you can pull that off then we're fine. Otherwise, just go home and don't worry about me."

Jethro turned and walked away before he could see the tears that filled Jenny's eyes and streamed down her face. He walked to the door and Melvin stood up to meet him.

"Take care of her, she's upset. Bye Melvin."

"Bye Jethro. Stay safe."

Jethro started for his room but realized that would be too confining. Instead he walked outside and just kept walking. He'd seen Jenny's car waiting so he went in the opposite direction. He was so frustrated and so stunned to have had Jenny sitting across a small table from him that he could barely think straight. In fact he wasn't thinking very clearly at all. He walked for about half an hour then found a diner and went in for a cup of coffee. He got it to go and wandered back in the direction of the hotel. Using skills perfected over many years of denial he managed to block his entire conversation with Jenny from his mind. He concentrated on noticing his surroundings and kept his mind in the present moment refusing to allow himself to think about Jenny and how much he had wanted her the moment he saw her.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Betrayal**

Chapter 5

Back in his hotel room he took a shower then called Mike to tell him he was coming. Of course his old boss wanted to know what was going on and Jethro simply said it was a long story he'd tell him when he saw him. He asked Mike what supplies he could bring and wrote down the rather lengthy list of odds and ends and truck parts he would take with him. After hanging up Jethro studied the list and decided to do some shopping. He was too keyed up to stay in the room and besides, he needed something to occupy his mind for a while longer. The long drive to Mike's place in Baja would provide plenty of time for him to digest his encounter with his wife.

The rest of the afternoon and evening was spent buying enough truck parts and supplies to practically remake Mike's old pickup. At least Jethro knew he would be busy for the first couple of days he was in Baja. Since he had left DC with very few clothes, Jethro also found a Kohls and stocked up on shorts, tee shirts and underwear. He picked up an extra pair of tennis shoes, some work boots and some swim trunks. Next he went to a phone store and bought a good phone; he was tired of feeling like a drug dealer using a new burn phone every two weeks. On the way back to the hotel he picked up some supper. When he got back he double checked the lock on the truck bed to make sure it was secure then he went up to his room.

Jethro ate his pizza, finished the bottle of bourbon and fell into bed before midnight. He had managed to keep Jenny and their conversation at the fringes of his mind the entire evening. As he fell asleep he hoped she wouldn't haunt his dreams. Fortunately he was too drunk for that to happen and he slept soundly until seven o'clock.

After a very long, very hot shower and a shave Jethro felt almost human. The emotional stress of the last two months coupled with the lack of sleep, travel and less than healthy eating habits was taking its toll on him and Jethro was more than ready to get to Mike's where he could brood and wallow in his sadness in relative privacy. He knew he'd have to tell Mike the whole story but once he'd done that he knew Mike would leave him alone. For a while at least. He just wanted to lie in the sun, walk on the beach and try to figure out where to go next. And what to do with the rest of his life.

His room service breakfast was delivered right on time and after two cups of very good coffee Jethro felt like he could face the day. He checked the time and decided even though it was early, Ducky was probably up so he called his old friend to update him on his plans. And to tell him Jenny had been there.

"Hello, Dr. Mallard here."

"Mornin' Duck. Hope it's not too early."

"No, good heavens, good morning Jethro. I'm happy to hear from you. Where are you these days?"

"San Diego."

"Heavens. Headed to Mike's?"

"Yes, later today. How are you my friend?"

"I'm fine, Jethro. Busy as usual but all is well, really. And you, how are you doing?"

"About the same. Listen Duck, Jenny was here yesterday."

"She was? Well that must have been a surprise. You talked with her I assume?"

"Yeah she was waiting for me at the hotel. Said she came out here to deal with something Callen was into. Do you know what's going on with him?"

"Yes, he was shot during a raid last week but from what I've gathered he will be fine. How in the world did Jenny find you?"

"Heddy."

"Ah, of course. Well, how did it go with the two of you?"

"Not that great actually. She said she was sorry and wanted to know if we could work things out."

"And you said?"

"I said I loved her but I couldn't trust her and I didn't see us recovering from what she'd done. She seems to think part of the problem is my pride. Said I was too proud to be the guy to takes his wife back after she has an affair."

"And what do you think?"

"I told her I don't give a damn what other people think and I don't. I told her she threw away our marriage for something that isn't even still going on and I couldn't abide that. I reminded her she'd left before and I took her back but this was different and I wasn't taking her back."

"Oh dear. How did she take all that?"

"Not very well I'd say. She seemed almost surprised I wasn't giving in to her and going home with her. I'm pretty sure she was crying when I walked away. I wouldn't let her touch me and that seemed to really bother her."

"And why wouldn't you?"

There was a prolonged silence now while Jethro thought about his answer. He had no trouble being honest with Ducky but that meant being honest with himself as well.

"Because I didn't trust myself if she did. I miss her Duck. I love Jenny and she has a lot of power over me. I couldn't risk getting sucked back in when I've worked so hard over the last several weeks to break away from her."

"So, Jethro if you still love her is there no chance of forgiving her and saving your marriage? I realize her transgression was a very serious one but still…."

"I can't see it Ducky. I guess I haven't ruled it out one hundred percent but pretty close. How could I ever go out on a case and leave her at home and trust what was happening, or not happening, while I was gone. How would I ever get past the idea of another man making love to my wife?"

"I don't have those answers Jethro but many people have done just that. Marriage counseling and a lot of hard work between the two of you would undoubtedly be called for but if you still love her then you must consider that as an option. In my opinion at least."

"I respect that Duck and I'll think about it. I just know I still have a lot of anger about what she did and I can't seem to let go of it. Not sure I want to give her the power to hurt me again. Twice seems like enough."

"I agree with you there."

"Keep an eye on her Duck. She looked awfully tired and stressed yesterday."

"I will to the extent she allows it. She is pretty distant these days. I have noticed she seems tired and yes, the stress level is pretty high these days. But I will keep an eye out. Jethro, while you are sitting on the sand and thinking, think about this; you and Jenny have always seemed to me to be destined for each other. Perhaps the two of you can mend your marriage if you are not here, but somewhere where you can be just two people who love each other. Perhaps this place is not good for the two of you."

"Yeah, maybe. I better go Duck. Got a long day ahead of me. I'll stay in touch. In fact, here's my new number. I broke down and bought a good phone so if you can't reach me you can text. I'll have this phone with me at Mike's in case you need to find me."

Jethro gave Ducky his phone number and asked him to share it only with Ziva since she was living in his house and might need to contact him.

"Jethro, be safe and tell Mike hello for me."

"I will. Bye Duck."

Jethro paid his hotel bill and went out to his truck. Everything was in order so he headed for the Marine Base. His ID allowed him entrance to the sprawling base that had been his home before his last deployment. He went to the commissary and two hours later he had loaded up enough beer, groceries and supplies to last him and Mike at least two months. With an hour to spare before Tom would meet him for lunch, Jethro wandered around the PX picking up some magazines and a couple of paperbacks. He didn't see anything else he needed so he drove off base to the restaurant where he and Tom planned to have lunch.

The little Italian restaurant was just as Jethro remembered right down to the red checked, plastic table clothes. Tom was waiting for him in the parking lot. After they were seated Tom grinned at him over the menu.

"I see you and Frankie got together."

Jethro rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes we did. He looks about the same these days. Sure felt good to get that long hair off and of course his shave is still the best."

"It sure is. So, you look better in that regard but otherwise I have to say buddy, you look a little rough. What's wrong; aside from the obvious of course?"

"Jenny was here yesterday. Surprised me at the hotel. Wanted to talk about me going back I guess although she didn't say that directly."

"Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. How did she find you?"

"Used her many resources and one very capable division director."

"How long had it been since you'd seen her?"

"Since early June so over two months now. I was last home on Memorial Day weekend and left on a case that Tuesday. When I got home Friday is when I found out what was going on and left. Hadn't seen her or talked to her since I went out on the case."

"That's a long time, Jethro. Did you guys talk at all?"

"Very briefly. She apologized and said she loves me and wants us to get back together. You can imagine what I said."

"Yeah, this really sucks my friend. You two always seemed to be meant for each other."

"That's what Ducky said this morning. I guess I thought so to but now…."

"Just go to Mike's and sort things out. You can always go back if you decide you still love her."

"That's just it; I do love her. I didn't leave because I don't love her but I don't trust her. I can't see living with someone I can't trust."

"I agree. Hey, let's forget about all that for a hour and enjoy this great food. I haven't eaten here in months."

"That's a good idea."

"Oh, here's a pass for you for the border from my contact in the Federales. It will make getting your weapon across the border no problem."

"Thanks."

The two men ordered and enjoyed a delicious lunch and Jethro even managed a couple of laughs along the way. Just over an hour later they shook hands in the parking lot and Jethro was on his way south. He had a thermos of coffee and loaf of the restaurant's famous bread in the seat next to him. He was on his way to a little cabin on a secluded beach where he hoped he could find the answers to some of the questions rattling around in his head. He knew if he wanted answers to questions concerning Jenny and their future he might have to talk to her again. He was okay with that sometime in the future but not right now.

Right now all he wanted was to try and get past the anger he still had and the almost smothering sadness that seemed to have set in when he walked away from Jenny in the hotel yesterday. He remembered very clearly the overpowering sense of sadness and loss he felt when his family was ripped from him and he had managed to avoid that depth of feeling for a long time. Jenny leaving him in Paris had been very painful but he reconciled that by telling himself it was wrong anyway and never would have worked. But this, this betrayal of their marriage was something he couldn't imagine getting over. The dream he had had of their future together was shattered and Jethro didn't think he had what it would take to put that dream back together. And yet, he knew as much as this felt like the same suffocating sadness he'd felt at the loss of his family, this wife was just a few hours away. He could easily drive back across the country and have her back in his arms. That made it worse somehow and that just made him angry all over again.

Jethro turned on the radio and tried to let the music, whatever it was, distract him from thinking about Jenny. That worked for a while and then Jethro simply by force of will put her out of his mind and focused on his driving.

There were no problems crossing the border and Jethro made good time even on less than spectacular roads. It was late evening when Jethro pulled into the small town just about a mile from Mike's cabin. He figured based on the time of day that Mike would very possibly be in the cantina so he stopped to check it out. Sure enough, sitting at the bar was his old boss and mentor, Mike Franks. He had a long neck Corona in one hand and a cigarette in the other; typical Mike.

"Hey you old dog."

Jethro walked up and put is hand on Mike's back.

"Well look what the cat dragged in! Damn Probie you look like you been pulled through a knot hole."

Jethro scrubbed his hand through his hair and sighed, "Been a rough couple of days."

"Senor Gibbs! Welcome back."

Carmelita, the barmaid and part owner of the cantina came from behind the bar to give him a hug. That was first physical contact he had with anyone outside a handshake in months. It felt good. He hugged her back.

Carmelita stood back and looked him over. "You are hungry, yes?"

"I could eat, sure."

"Good. I have some enchiladas just out of the oven. I will bring you a plate. Mike?"

"You bet. Come on sit down Probie."

Jethro settled on the stool next to Mike and Carmelita put a very cold Corona in front of him. He drank half of it in one go then looked at Mike with a tired smile on his face.

"Good to see you Mike."

"Same here. Whenever you're ready, Probie."

"Yeah."

Mike knew Jethro would tell him what was going on in his own time and he had no intention of asking questions he knew his friend wasn't ready to answer. Mike had seen Jethro through the very worst time of his life and he loved Jethro like a son. Whatever was hurting him, Mike was there ready to help any way he could.

Carmelita brought their food and for a few minutes there was no conversation at all. When Jethro had cleaned his plate he stood up and asked Mike if he wanted a ride home. Mike finished his beer and put some money on the bar. Jethro did the same and thanked Carmelita for the meal.

"Come back and see me, Senor Gibbs."

"I will. Be here for a while."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Betrayal**

Chapter 6

The two men walked out into the warm evening and Jethro was very glad to be at the end of his journey. They drove to Mike's place in silence and once there they unloaded the supplies and stored everything away.

"Should've gotten some ice for some of this beer I guess."

"Plenty of room in the fridge for now. Thanks for all this, Jethro. I guess you plan to stay a while."

"If that's okay yeah."

"Stay as long as you like."

"I figured you might have some projects I could do to keep busy and earn my keep."

"You don't need to earn anything with me you know that. Whatever's goin' on you just stay as long as you need to."

"Thanks. I think I'll take a walk. Been sittin' in that truck too long."

"I'll be right here."

Mike settled himself on his front porch in his hammock and watched Jethro trudge down toward the beach and the water. Mike wondered what Jenny had done. As well as he knew Jethro he knew damn well the only person who could hurt him as much as he was obviously hurt was Jenny Shepard. Mike could tell by the look in his eyes and the way he carried himself that Jethro was hurting. The small smile he'd given Carmelita had taken a lot of effort and that told him a lot because Jethro really liked Carmelita. Mike had never much cared for Jenny but he tolerated her and kept his opinion to himself because it was obvious Jethro loved her. Mike knew all about their time together in Europe, all about Paris and all about how Jethro had taken her back when she became the Director of NCIS. Whatever had happened Mike was sure she had something to do with it.

Jethro kicked off his shoes at the waters edge and walked out into the warm, shallow water. He looked out over the vast expanse of calm, dark sea and wished he had a boat to sail away in. He thought about the last time he and Jenny had been here just about a year ago. Mike was gone on an extended fishing trip and Jethro and Jenny had stayed in his cabin enjoying a second honeymoon. It was one of the best weeks he could remember. Just the two of them with no worries, no cases, no one wanting a piece of her; no one except Jethro of course. And no one was shooting at him or asking him questions he didn't have answers to. Now here he was a year later on the same beach without the woman he loved. With nothing but questions and anger and sadness in his head and his heart. The beach and the water had always been a magical place for Jethro so he was hoping somehow he'd find the answers here in this secluded place. The biggest question was why and he knew the only answer lay with Jenny. He wasn't sure he would ever ask her again so maybe he would have to live with never knowing why their lives had been destroyed by her one stupid decision.

It was past midnight when Jethro made his way back to the cabin. Mike was asleep in the hammock. Jethro tapped him on the leg and said he was going to bed. Mike mumbled something, got up and followed Jethro into the house. Less than five minutes after his head hit the pillow in Mike's spare bedroom Jethro was sound asleep. The next morning the smell of coffee pulled him awake and ten minutes later he wandered into the kitchen. He poured himself a mug of coffee and joined Mike on the porch. The morning was clear and bright and Jethro was glad to be through traveling for a while.

"You sleep okay in there?"

"Sure. Been sleeping in a tent for weeks so that bed was welcome."

Mike had told himself he'd wait for Jethro to decide when to tell him what was going on but this morning, seeing his Probie in the harsh light of morning he couldn't let it go one more minute.

"What'd she do Probie?"

Jethro was standing at the porch rail looking out at the beach and the water beyond. Without turning around he answered.

"Had an affair."

Mike was astonished. Even though he didn't much care for Jenny personally he would never have thought she'd cheat on Jethro.

"She what? I can't believe she'd do that."

"Well she did. Was going on for about six months. Every time I was out of town on a case."

"Damn. What happened when you caught them? I assume you didn't kill the bastard. Or her."

Jethro turned around and leaned against the rail coffee cup in hand. He shook his head and stared at the floor. He didn't really want to talk this morning but he knew he might as well get it over with. The sooner he told Mike the story the sooner he could stop thinking about it every minute of every day. At least that's what he hoped would happen.

"Didn't even go in the house."

Jethro proceeded to tell Mike what had happened that fateful night and what he'd done from that night until he got to Mexico and met him in the cantina. Mike never interrupted and made no comment throughout the telling. By the time Jethro was finished Mike wanted to strangle Jenny.

Mike stood up and took Jethro's coffee cup from him and walked back into the house. In a few minutes he came back and handed the refilled mug back to Jethro.

"I'm sorry Jethro. I know you loved her. From the looks of you I'd say you still do. Stay as long as you need to."

He didn't know what else to say and he didn't want to say the wrong thing so Mike let go at that.

"Thanks. You're right I loved her. Not sure about now. Hoping I can figure that out in the next few months."

That was pretty much the last time they talked about why Jethro was there. The next day Jethro started working on Mike's truck and that occupied him for three days. By the time he was finished the old Ford was running almost as well as Jethro's new truck. Since the old girl was up and running they celebrated by going to town for cold beer and some of Carmelita's enchiladas. The phone signal was better in town so Jethro took the opportunity to call Ducky. Everything seemed to be the same at home and Ducky said he hadn't seen Jenny for a couple of days.

"Give her my phone number the next time you see her would you Duck. Tell her she can call if she needs to. Or wants to."

"I will. Do you want her to call?"

"Just want her to have the number in case."

"I understand. Take care my friend. You are missed."

"You too, Duck. Tell Ziva to call if she has any problems with the house."

"Alright. Hello to Mike. Goodbye Jethro."

"Bye Duck."

For the next few weeks Jethro kept himself busy with one project after another. He would work on something around the small house for a couple of days then take a day or two off to drink beer and lay on the beach. He swam or ran on the beach every morning, stayed up late every night and rarely had much to say. Mike had seen Jethro struggle through the deaths of his wife and child and he remembered well the vacant look in that young Marine's eyes. He was seeing much the same look on his friend's face these days. It was obvious to Mike that Jethro was practically drowning in the sadness he felt at the loss of his marriage.

For his part Jethro tried to keep his mind off Jenny as much as possible. To a large extent he was successful. He was a master at avoiding feelings he didn't want to deal with and he was able to shut down his thinking for a day or two at a time. That was the only way he was surviving; he let himself think about Jenny, their marriage, her deception and his future for a day then he shut it down and thought about nothing for a day or two or three.

Some days Jethro could admit to himself he was hiding in Baja. He knew Jenny had been at least partially correct when she accused him of letting his pride get in the way. He couldn't help but wonder what Mr. X had given Jenny that he hadn't given her. Their sex life had always been more than satisfying as far as he was concerned and Jenny had certainly never voiced any dissatisfaction over the years. That train of thought got him nowhere and Jethro always shut it down pretty quickly. The thoughts he had a harder time shutting down were the ones about his future and what it looked like without Jenny in it.

By the time Jethro had been with Mike for a month he had repaired and painted the porch railing, replaced rotting boards on the porch floor, resealed and painted all the windows and installed three ceiling fans. He was running out of projects and wondered what he would do when the little cabin was in perfect shape again. As he climbed up a ladder to do some repairs on the roof he had no idea that in just a couple of hours the answer to that question would be a lot closer than he could have guessed.

The cabin might have been in good shape but that description certainly didn't apply to the man doing the work. Jethro was mostly just going through the motions. He still didn't have much to say and most of the time he felt dead inside. The anger was gone, the sadness was now such a constant that he almost didn't feel it anymore.

Mike watched as Jethro set the ladder and headed for the roof.

"Jethro, be careful up there."

"I will. You've got some rotten boards up here that need replacing before it rains again. You have some shingles in that shed out back?"

"Yeah, should have enough out there. Let me know when you're ready for this plywood."

While Jethro removed the old shingles in one section of the roof Mike carried a sheet of plywood to the back where Jethro has set up his sawhorses. The work was going smoothly until Jethro stood up and stepped toward the back of the house to tell Mike what size he needed the plywood piece to be. As he got near the back edge of the roof his foot went through a rotten board, he stumbled and fell and unable to catch himself, he rolled off the roof onto the sandy ground below. He tried rather unsuccessfully to break his fall with his left arm but landed hard and immediately cried out in pain.

Mike had seen Jethro falling and it seemed to be happening in slow motion. He was at his side practically before Jethro hit the ground. The first thing Mike saw was blood on Jethro's leg; a lot of blood it seemed to him. Jethro wasn't knocked out and he grabbed for his leg as soon as he could get his wits about him.

"Whoa Probie! Don't move too much. Let me see."

"Shit, that hurts!"

Mike pulled off his tee shirt and wrapped it tightly around Jethro's leg. He didn't know what caused the cut but it was deep and long and definitely needed the attention of a doctor. The shirt was helping but the wound was still bleeding pretty badly.

"You hurt anywhere else?"

"My arm."

Jethro was cradling his left wrist and forearm against his chest. He took some deep breaths and tried to work out what had happened. Obviously there were more rotten boards up there than he thought and he'd just discovered a few more of them. Luckily the little beach house wasn't far off the ground so the fall wasn't from a great height.

"We gotta get you to the clinic and get that leg stitched up. I'm going to pull the truck around here so just sit tight."

Jethro wasn't going anywhere that was for sure. When Mike pulled his truck up close to him Jethro sat up and had to wait for a dizzy spell to pass. Mike helped him stand and hobble to the truck.

"Maybe I should ride in the back so I can keep the leg up."

"Okay, hold on."

Mike helped him up into the truck bed then went inside returning with a sleeping bag for Jethro to lie on and pulling on a new shirt. Jethro hollered at him to bring his wallet and Mike retrieved that from Jethro's room

"Put your leg up on the hump. I'll take it as easy as I can."

"I'm okay Mike. Don't worry."

Jethro could see the concern on his friend's face and hear it in his voice. He knew Mike was worried about him anyway and this catastrophe wasn't helping.

Mike did take it easy and they arrived at the small clinic in town about ten minutes after leaving the cabin. He pulled up right to the front and went around to help Jethro out of the truck. By the time they managed to get inside Jethro's leg was bleeding badly. A nurse saw the blood and immediately got a wheelchair for Jethro. He pushed him to an examining room down the hall without asking any questions. Jethro was beginning to feel lightheaded and was afraid he was going to pass out. He handed Mike his wallet as they helped him up onto the table.

"Should be plenty of cash in there."

Mike took the wallet and went out to give the young woman at the desk Jethro's information. While he was gone the doctor entered the room and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Mendez. Let's see where all this blood is coming from."

Before she could ask Jethro his name Mike walked back in the room. He walked right up to the doctor and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, Dr. Ana I see you've met the patient. This is Jethro, my friend I told you was staying with me for a while. Fell off my roof a little while ago."

Dr. Mendez or Ana as Mike called her, looked at Jethro and noted he wasn't paying much attention to her or to Mike. In fact he could have been asleep from the look of him.

"So Jethro, besides this nasty cut on your leg are you injured anywhere else?"

"Left arm hurts. Or maybe the wrist. Nothin' else."

"Did you hit your head or lose consciousness?"

"No."

While she talked Dr. Ana was pulling on some gloves and carefully examining Jethro's calf.

"Well, let's get this cleaned up and stitched and then I'll take a look at your wrist. It looks a little swollen so we'll get an x-ray."

Jethro didn't respond so the doctor proceeded to clean the wound and give him a couple of shots to deaden the area. Then she repositioned the leg and sat down to stitch it up. Mike drifted out of the room because the sight of Jethro getting sewn up wasn't something he cared to witness. He was a tough guy but blood was not his favorite thing.

Dr. Ana concentrated on her task and didn't say anything else which of course was fine with Jethro. His wrist was throbbing. In fact his whole body was beginning to ache. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Even though he was in pain he couldn't help but notice the doctor had a nice touch. And she was lovely. And young. Jethro had thought the doctor in town was an old guy about Mike's age. He wondered where Dr. Ana had come from.

Finally the leg was all stitched up and cleaned and the doctor wrapped it with a gauze bandage. She pulled off her gloves and stood up.

"Mr. Gibbs I want you to stay off this leg for a couple of days. At least as much as possible. The less strain you put on the calf the better until it begins to heal. Keep it dry for a couple of days. I'll give you some printed instructions before you leave."

There was no response so Ana continued.

"Any questions about the leg?"

"No."

"A man of few words. You and Mike must get along well. Okay, can you sit up?"

Jethro sat up and took a deep breath to control the pain he was feeling all over.

"Where do you hurt, Mr. Gibbs?"

"All over. Just call me Gibbs or Jethro."

"Okay, Jethro. When you say all over are you talking about a general ache or do you have sharp pain any particular place?"

"Just sore from the fall. The wrist is the only place that really hurts."

"Okay. Without putting any weight on your leg let's get you into the wheelchair and we can go next door for an x-ray."

Jethro followed her instructions without comment or question and soon was back in the examine room awaiting her reading of the x-ray. He was pretty sure his wrist wasn't broken but he figured it was badly sprained. What he really wanted at the moment was a shot or two of bourbon.

The doctor returned and holding the x-ray up to the light she said, "You have a hairline fracture right here," and she gently touched her index finger to a place on his wrist.

"I'm going to put on a splint that you need to wear for two weeks. You can take it off to shower but otherwise you need to wear it all the time. Don't use the wrist or put any pressure on it for two weeks. I want to see you back then for a new x-ray and to check your leg. Any questions?"

"No."

Dr. Ana regarded her patient and wondered about the lack of emotion she was seeing. He wasn't rude to her; he was just simply not engaging with her. Mike had told her a week or so ago about Jethro staying with him but hadn't said why he was here. She had not failed to notice Jethro was in terrific shape physically, was tan and lean with shaggy hair and several days growth of facial hair. He finally looked up at her and made eye contact for the first time and the sadness she saw there was unmistakable. He had beautiful blue eyes but today at least they were dull and lifeless.

"Any questions, Jethro?"

"No. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Do you think you can manage a crutch? I'd like you to keep as much weight off the leg as possible for a few days."

"Yeah, I can manage."

"Okay, sit tight while I get you one."

Dr. Ana stepped into the hall and found Mike coming in the door.

"I'm all finished. Just getting him a crutch. You can go in."

"Thank you. He's alright?"

"Yes, a very slight fracture of the wrist and eighteen stitches and he's good to go. I'll have some instructions for him and some pain meds. I'll be right back."

Ana returned shortly with a crutch which she handed to Jethro then adjusted for his height. Luckily he needed to use his right arm which was uninjured. She showed him a page of instruction for the care of his leg and a bottle with four pain pills in it. Then she gave those to Mike and cautioned him to eat before taking the pills. Jethro just nodded that he understood.

"Unless you have any questions it looks like you're set. I'll see you in two weeks. Call me if you have any problems."

"Thank you."

Mike watched as Jethro slowly made his way out of the office and toward the door.

"He's just hurting, Ana. Usually he's more friendly."

"He's not hurting only from the fall, Mike."

"That's true. I'll have him back here in two weeks. Thanks."

The ride home was silent and when they got back Jethro ate half a sandwich and took a pain pill. Twenty minutes later he was stretched out on his bed sound asleep. Mike left a note on the kitchen counter then headed back to town. He needed to find a roofer to finish what they'd started since Jethro surely wasn't getting back on the roof for at least a week. A stop in the cantina solved his problem as Carmelita's brother was in there and able to be at the cabin the next day to work. He stayed for some beers and when he left Carmelita sent along a container of her chicken tortilla soup for their supper.

When Mike got home Jethro was sitting on the porch with his leg propped up and a beer in hand.

"How ya feelin'"

"Not bad. Just sore. Leg hurts a little but nothing I haven't had before. That Carmelita's soup?"

"Sure is. Figured it'd be good for supper. Unless you're hungry now."

"No let's wait. Been eatin' crackers and drinkin' beer."

The next two weeks passed slowly for Jethro with nothing much to do. The roof was repaired and he had pretty much run out of projects. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about the future and he knew he couldn't stay on the beach forever. He thought about Tom's offer of work in San Diego and that appealed to him on some level but on the other hand he missed DC, his friends and Jenny. The idea of moving to California permanently didn't feel right. The idea of going on with his life without Jenny didn't feel right either. It was time to make some decisions.

Mike was worried about Jethro and the fact that he still wasn't talking about what happened or what he planned to do. The night before Jethro was supposed to go back for the checkup with Dr. Ana, Mike decided he wanted some answers.

"Probie, you want to talk about anything?"

They were sitting on the porch enjoying the cool night air and sipping bourbon.

"Such as?"

"Oh I don't know, your life, your wife, any plans you have. Just whatever comes to mind."

Jethro didn't reply for several minutes. He sipped the bourbon and stared out at the beach. Oddly enough he did want to talk about all that.

"I miss her."

"Have you at least talked to her?"

"No. I tried once or twice and I asked Ducky to give her my number. She hasn't called. I don't have a plan, Mike. I know I need to make a move but honestly I don't know which way to go."

"Maybe you need to go home and see her and work things out. If you still love her which I'm sure you do or you wouldn't be so damn miserable, you need to see her and forgive her and move on. Won't be easy but hell you're an expert at difficult."

"Not sure she wants me back if she hasn't called. I was pretty hard on her in San Diego."

"That's why you need to go back and see her. If she's done then okay, decide what to do but you can't figure it out all by yourself here."

"I know. I'm leaning in that direction but I'm just not there yet."

"Well, you can stay here as long as you want to but I know you're bored and you need something to do."

"Yeah, I know. I'll figure something out. Say, I've been meaning to ask you what happened to Dr. Guzman?"

"He passed away about a year ago. Dr. Ana is his niece. She's been here since Jose died. I think she works a couple of weekends a month in an ER in San Diego."

"Why?"

"Trying to get the money up to finish what Jose started. See he bought the building next to the clinic for new clinic but he died before it could be finished. So, Ana wants to finish it. I've known Ana since she was a little girl and used to visit Jose and pretend to be his nurse. He helped put her through medical school so she feels obligated to keep the clinic going."

Jethro sipped his bourbon but didn't say anything else. He'd just found his new project and he wanted to give it some thought. Mike smiled in the dark realizing what had just happened. His Probie had a mission. Finally.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** From here on out chapters will mostly be longer. I felt like maybe things were dragging so I'm combining what were originally two chapters into one as we move along. Thanks for the follows and comments. All grammar and spelling mistakes are mine alone. No matter how many times a story is proofread errors will escape. I hope they don't detract form the story too much.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 7

The next afternoon Jethro showed up at the clinic at four o'clock. The receptionist said there was one other patient then Jethro would be next. He thanked the young woman and sat down to wait. While he was waiting he took the opportunity to look around the space, something he of course hadn't bothered to do the last time he was there. The place could certainly use some work or better yet be shut down. The floors were warped and the walls were in bad shape. The ceiling tiles were stained from too many roof leaks and the reception desk was about to fall apart. To Jethro's expert eye, the place was a disaster. No wonder Jose had wanted to relocate.

About ten minutes later the nurse, Ramon, who had helped him before came to get him. He took Jethro to the examine room and told him the doctor would be there in a minute or two. Jethro settled down to wait some more. He never understood why they took you from the waiting room to another room to wait some more. Why not just leave you in the waiting room until they were actually ready for you? Soon enough though Dr. Ana stepped in the room and shut the door behind her.

"Good afternoon, Gibbs. How's the leg?"

Jethro was sitting on the end of the examining table so he straightened his leg out to show her.

"You tell me."

Ana held his leg and rotated it slightly so she could see his calf. Her touch caused Jethro to flinch ever so slightly.

"That hurt?" It shouldn't have and it if did Ana was concerned.

"No."

Jethro gave no other explanation so Ana went on with her examination.

"Looks very good. Shouldn't be much of a scar. It's healing nicely. You must have taken good care of it."

"Not my first experience with being sewn up. Usually done by a medical examiner though so I'm not too worried about a scar."

"A medical examiner?" She looked up at him with a small smile on her pretty face.

"Yeah. Anyway what about the wrist?"

"Any pain?"

"No."

"Let's get an x-ray to see if you can lose the brace."

Ana led Jethro to the next room and took a x-ray of his wrist then sent him back to wait. As she was developing the film Ana reflected that Jethro still had that sad, faraway look in his eyes. He was speaking in more than short phrases at least but that sad look still bothered her. Fifteen minutes later Ana returned to the examine room with the x-ray and told Jethro he could leave off the brace. She handed him a soft support sleeve and suggested he wear it most of the time for another couple of weeks.

"You can use the wrist as much as you need until it's painful. The tiny fracture is healed but you'll have some stiffness and soreness for a while. Just do what you can comfortably. I'd say you're good to go."

Jethro didn't get up right away so Ana looked at him and asked, "Any questions?"

"Would you show me the plans for the clinic next door?"

That was maybe the last thing she expected him to ask. Ana looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Jethro realized for the first time how really beautiful she was. She had thick black hair that she wore pulled back. Her skin was flawless and she had dark brown eyes framed by very long eyelashes. She looked like she must work out regularly because she was lean and muscular. Obviously his question had surprised her.

"What?"

"Mike said Jose was working on renovating the building next door for a new clinic but all the work stopped after he died. Anyway, I'd like to see the plans. I can probably do the work for you to get you out of this place before it falls down."

"Yes, my uncle was having the building renovated. Most of the needed materials were purchased or donated and some work was done but after he died there was no money for a while and the contractors found other work of course. I don't have the money to hire them back even if they were available. I can't pay for the work."

"Lucky for you I don't charge. Do you have the plans?"

Ana just looked at him and Jethro was happy to sit there and look back at her. When she didn't respond after a few moments Jethro spoke up.

"You can trust me Doc. Mike will vouch for me. I need something to keep myself busy and keep me out of Mike's hair. You'd be doin' both of us a favor. All three of us actually."

"Okay, we can talk about it I suppose. Come with me."

Ana took Jethro to her office and handed him the plans.

"I need to close up so take a look and I'll be back."

Jethro was already flipping through the plans and didn't pay any attention as Ana left the office. It all looked pretty straightforward to him and he was sure he could do what was needed. He wanted to see the building of course and hoped Ana would take him next door.

When Ana returned Jethro was standing staring out her window. He turned around when he heard her come in the room.

"Could I see the building?"

"Of course. Come on."

Jethro walked through the space checking the plans as he did so. The office would be much like the old one, a reception area, two examine rooms, a room for the x-ray machine and some other machines, storage, office and small kitchen/break room. From what he could see the electrical work had already been done as had the plumbing. Some of the framing had been completed but not all. He would have to finish that, install the drywall, seal the walls, paint, install flooring and tile in places and install all the plumbing and electrical fixtures. He wondered how much of that had been purchased already. He hadn't said anything as he walked around and Ana was imagining he had realized he'd spoken too soon. It all seemed very intimidating to her.

"Mike said you have some of the materials already."

"Yes, most of it is stored in the adjoining building. Jose made an arrangement with the building owner to store everything there because he had so much of it donated at one time before it was needed. My uncle was a great one for getting people to give to a worthy cause. Unfortunately in this instance that covered only materials, not the money to have them installed."

"Can I see that too?"

Ana just shook her head in wonder and led him next door. Jethro looked over the accumulated materials and supplies and saw that Jose had indeed been very good at getting things together. There was plenty of lumber, drywall and paint, fixtures, tile and supplies; basically pretty much everything he'd need. It would take him at least three months of work but Jethro was confident he could do the job.

"Okay. I can get started on Monday if that's okay."

"Are you sure? This seems like a job for more than one person. And as I said I can't pay you."

"I'm sure. Yes, three or four men would be quicker but I can do all that's needed. You can pay me with coffee now and then and maybe lunch once in a while."

Ana desperately wanted the new clinic finished so they could move out of their old building before, as Jethro had said, it fell in on them. She dreamed of being able to give the people of their little town a clean, new place to come for their medical care. She knew she could trust Jethro and he certainly seemed sure of himself.

"Alright then. Is there anything you need before you start?"

"If you can give me keys to both buildings I can come and go without bothering you. Other than that, I think everything is here. At least enough for me to make a good start before I need anything else."

"Then I suppose I will see you on Monday. Thank you Jethro."

"Haven't done anything yet."

Jethro spent the weekend mostly walking on the beach thinking. He felt better with a project to concentrate on but he was still pretty miserable. He missed his wife and their life together. He missed holding her and watching her get ready in the morning. He missed laughing with her and loving her. And, he missed being loved by her. Her touch, her attention, the way she looked at him; he missed all that and so much more. Why was he still in Baja? Because he was stubborn and hurt and afraid to trust her again. Just because he missed her didn't mean he had forgotten what she'd done to them. But…he wasn't quite as sure he wanted a life without her as he had been a couple of months ago.

On Sunday afternoon he went through all his tools to be sure he had what he'd need for all the work he'd taken on. Everything was there and he felt confident about doing the work. A helper would be handy. Maybe Mike could lend a hand sometimes. And, he'd need a tile saw eventually. He didn't have one of those but he was sure he'd locate one by the time he needed it. He went over the plans again and made a list of the work he wanted to do in what order he wanted to get started. It was September and he figured he could be finished by Christmas. Then, after the holidays he'd go back to DC and sort out his future. Jethro went to bed Sunday night feeling better. He had a plan and a timeline and something to keep him busy for the next three months. He was just a bit less miserable and that was progress.

Jethro had been working for almost two hours Monday morning when Ana showed up with a large cup of coffee.

"What time did you get here?"

"About five I think."

"Why?" She was incredulous that anyone was up working at that hour when they didn't have to be. Working all night in the ER was one thing but to voluntarily show up that early to do work you weren't even getting paid for was nuts in her opinion.

"Wasn't sleeping so I figured I'd get started."

Ana couldn't help but check him out. Jethro was wearing some very old, very comfortable jeans and a tee shirt. From where she was standing she could see there wasn't an ounce of fat on the man. He was all lean muscle, sharp angles and flat planes. And a very handsome, very guarded face. Short gray hair, big hands and what she imagined were lovely blue eyes when they weren't tinged with sadness of course. She determined right then and there to discover the source of that sadness and somehow banish it so she could see just how beautiful blue those eyes really were. And how that handsome face looked with a smile on it.

Ana went to work and Jethro got back to organizing and sorting. He spent the morning moving supplies from the storage building to the clinic and arranging a lot of it where he needed it to be for installation. The basic wiring was done but none of the boxes for the outlets or switches had been installed. He got started on that around nine o'clock. It was tedious but basic work and with the power off it went fairly quickly. Around lunch time Jethro took a break and went outside for some fresh air. He sat on the tailgate of his truck that was parked behind the building and pulled out his phone. He'd decided some time that morning to call Ducky and check on things back home.

"Autopsy."

"Hey, Duck how are you?"

"Ah, Jethro how nice to hear your voice. I'm fine. How are things with you?"

"Okay."

Jethro went on to tell Ducky about the clinic project and that he expected to be there at least until the end of the year.

"Jethro, there's something I need to tell you."

Alarm bells immediately started ringing in Jethro's head.

"What's wrong? Jenny?"

"She's taken a leave of absence from NCIS. We only found out about it this morning."

"Why? Is she sick?"

"I don't have any reason to think so but I don't know why she's left. She didn't tell me anything when I saw her last week. I was planning to try and call her this evening. Perhaps you should call her Jethro. Let her know you're coming back in a few months."

"I will. Are you sure she's not sick?"

"I don't know one way or the other except that she's not appeared ill when I've seen or talked to her. But, I admit, I haven't seen her for any length of time for a few weeks. We've been busy and she's been out of town or in meetings. You know how it is. Perhaps Ziva knows something although she seemed as surprised as the rest of us at the announcement this morning."

"So who's running the show?"

"Leon Vance is here from California. He says it's temporary, three months at the most he said he was told."

"Thanks Duck. I'll call her. Let me know if you see her."

"I will Jethro. Take care."

Jethro disconnected the call and immediately called Jenny's cell number. It went straight to voice mail and he left a message asking her to call him. He sat on the tailgate for a few more minutes thinking about what might be going on with his wife. Finally pulling himself back to the present he went across the street and down to the cantina. He got his cooler filled with ice and water and hired three guys to help him move the drywall from the storage building to the clinic. They had it all done in an hour and Jethro gladly paid them twenty dollars apiece for their help. He figured it saved him about three hours of work and a very sore back.

The rest of the afternoon was spent finishing the electrical work including installing the overhead lighting. Luckily, the ceilings were all finished so he didn't have to worry about that aspect of the building. The tedious, repetitive labor took his mind off Jenny and everything else and before he knew it, it was almost six o'clock. He was starving and exhausted so he put away his tools, locked up and headed back to the little cabin on the beach. A cold beer and hot shower were calling and he was more than ready to answer the call.

For the next two weeks Jethro worked steadily from about six every morning to six at night. Ana came over every day to check on him and bring him coffee or some lunch a couple of times. She made small talk and of course Jethro mostly listened or if he responded at all it was with as few words as possible. He was never impolite; he just didn't have much to say. Ana could tell he had something or someone on his mind and she wasn't quite secure enough in their friendship to ask him about that. So, she just bided her time and tried to appear as unthreatening as possible. Jethro was making steady progress and she made sure to tell him each day how much she appreciated what he was doing.

On Friday of the second week Jethro didn't go into the clinic. Instead he and Mike took the Mike's boat out fishing. Jethro felt he needed a break and Mike was worried he was working too hard so a day on the water was welcome for both of them. Jethro hadn't put up so much drywall at one time in his life and he had to admit it was about to kill him. It felt good to laze the day away soaking up the sun and catching enough fish for their dinner. Conversation was at a minimum of course and there was plenty of cold beer to go with crackers, jerky and cheese. A perfect day.

Jenny still hadn't called and Jethro had left two additional messages. He was going to call Ziva next hoping she'd know what was going on with Jenny. It bothered him that Jenny hadn't called back. He thought she would after what she'd said in San Diego but he had to admit it had been two months now and he hadn't made any move toward her until now. He was most worried about her leaving NCIS; that was something he never would have predicted.

After another week the drywall was all installed. Ana continued to visit every day and Jethro was beginning to look forward to seeing her. She was certainly easy on the eyes but more importantly she seemed like she'd be easy to talk to. If he ever decided to talk to anyone that is. He was sure she had questions about him but so far she hadn't asked and that scored her some points with Jethro. The place was starting to take shape but there was still a lot of work ahead. Finishing by the end of the year was still realistic but there wouldn't be much time to spare.

The fourth week Jethro spent taping and mudding the drywall then sanding it all down in preparation for painting. He was so tired on Thursday night that he actually just unrolled his sleeping bag and slept on the floor of the soon-to-be break room. Needless to say when Ana arrived the next morning with his usual cup of coffee she was astonished to find Jethro sleeping on the floor. She stood in the doorway for a few moments watching him sleep. Her opinion of his good looks wasn't diminished by the fact he was covered in a fine dusting of well, dust and looked like he hadn't shaved in several days. He was still damn good looking. And sexy.

Ana backed out of the doorway and went to the back door. She came back in making plenty of noise and calling his name.

"Jethro? You in here?"

Instead of going toward the break room Ana went to the other end of the hall to give Jethro time to get up and pretend he'd just gotten there. If he didn't mind her knowing he'd slept on the floor that was fine but if he did she wanted him to have time to organize himself before she walked in on him.

Jethro woke up suddenly when he heard the door slam shut. It took him a minute to orient himself in his surroundings. Then he managed to get up and shake the cobwebs out before he stepped into the hallway and saw Ana coming from the other end with, thank god, his coffee. He hadn't been so happy to see anyone in quite a while. In fact, he actually smiled at her. That was the moment when Ana was well and truly lost where Jethro Gibbs was concerned. She didn't realize it at the exact moment of course but that smile was what hooked her. She determined to do whatever she could to get at least one smile a day out of him for as long as he was there. God, what a smile it was! For just a moment or two his eyes lit up and she was able to get a glimpse of what she'd expected to see; beautiful, sea blue eyes that she knew she could get lost in.

"The place is looking good, Jethro. Can't say the same for you though. You're not working too hard are you?"

She handed over the coffee and he took a drink before responding.

"No, I'm fine. This part is kinda dirty. This dust is hard to get off. I'll be ready to paint next week. I see the paint is next door but I was wondering if you might want something different for your office. You know, something more personal, brighter. Prettier."

Ana had never heard Jethro say so much at one time and she was slow to answer. Jethro was watching her as he finished his coffee. He wondered why she wasn't answering. Why she was just looking at him. He knew he must look pretty rough this morning but still….it was an easy question.

"I mean if you don't that's fine. I just thought…."

"I'd love another color. I'm going to San Diego this weekend and I'll bring something back. How much should I get? And what kind? I mean there are different kinds right?"

He smiled again. Damn, this was the best day she'd had in ages!

"Yes, there are different kinds. Get two gallons and I'd suggest an eggshell finish for the walls and a semi-gloss for the woodwork. Get whatever colors you want."

"Thank you Jethro for thinking of that. I appreciate it. I better let you get back to work. I'll see you later. Some lunch maybe?"

"Lunch would be good."

After Ana left, Jethro washed up a little bit and walked down the street to the cantina for some breakfast. As usual, Carmelita was working and she quickly fixed him some bacon and eggs and another coffee. He ate his breakfast and on the way back to the clinic he called Jenny again. No answer. He called Ziva. It was very early in DC but he was getting worried and he wanted to catch Ziva before she left for her run.

"David."

"Ziva, sorry to call so early."

"Jethro, I am so glad to hear your voice. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine but what's goin' on with Jen?"

"I am not sure. I have not seen her since she took her leave of absence. I believe she is out of town. Should I try and find her?"

"Yes. No. Hell I don't know. Any idea why she left?"

"Not really. She and I had a long talk after she saw you in California. After that I didn't see her much. She was away quite a bit and then we went in one day and she was gone."

"How was she when she got back from here?"

"She was trying to be angry with you but she could not really sustain that. She said she knew she had made a terrible mistake and she still loved you. She kept saying she had apologized and she did not understand why you were not willing to come home."

"Sounds like what she said to me."

"I told her she had broken your heart and she needed to give you time to heal from that. She seemed to understand that. She has not quit NCIS permanently you know. She will be back. Are you coming back?"

"Yes, after the first of the year. I'm not sure about Jen and I but I'll be there to figure it out. I've called her several times and left messages but she's not calling me back. I don't get it, Ziver."

"Maybe she is also taking her time to heal. She still loves you Jethro, I am sure of that. Give her time. Keep calling her. She will eventually call you back."

"Okay. Everything alright with the house?"

"Oh yes. I am getting spoiled. I may never let you have it back."

"We'll see what happens. You may not have to. Gotta go, Ziver. Be careful and give everyone my love."

"I will. Jethro, do not lose hope. If you want to restore your marriage you will make it happen."

"Bye Ziver."

Jethro got back to work and when Ana showed up with lunch he was more than ready to take a break.

"Let me go next door and clean up a little bit."

"Why don't we eat in my office?"

"Good idea."

They went back to her office and once Jethro had washed his hands and face they sat down to eat. Carmelita had fixed his favorite; chicken enchiladas and he happily devoured his lunch. Naturally there was very little conversation. When he was finished Ana was of course, still eating.

"What are you going to do about cabinets and counters and all that for the new place?"

Ana put down her fork and swallowed. "A friend in San Diego has been scouring vacant office buildings for me and he's found just what we need in an empty doctor's office. I'm going to look at it this weekend and if it's as good as he says and I'm able to get it cheaply, my friend will arrange to have it delivered here."

"Sounds good. You probably know this but take the plans with you so you can check measurements. If something's too long I can always cut it off to make it fit here."

"I wouldn't have thought to take the plans. Thanks for thinking of that. What else should I check?"

"I don't know really. Just be sure it's not damaged and it's what you really want."

Ana looked at her watch and started clearing up the lunch mess.

"I better get busy. Jethro, don't work too hard. We're not on a schedule or deadline. At least I'm not."

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

Before he started back to work Jethro called Jenny again. When the voice mail came on he almost threw the phone down in frustration. Instead he left a message.

 _Jen, I'm not going to stop calling so call me back._

 _I'm worried about you and we need to talk. Call me._

Jethro finished sanding the walls that afternoon and was really glad it was Friday. He needed the weekend to rest. Ana was right; he was working too hard. Although he was in great shape physically, Jethro hadn't done this much physical labor this consistently in a very long time. Building a boat in the evening between catching bad guys was one thing but this remodeling job was something else entirely. He was enjoying himself though. On the way home that evening Jethro reflected on the fact that he was beginning to look forward to seeing Ana each day. He wondered about that. He didn't have any romantic feelings towards her; he certainly noticed and appreciated her beauty and her dedication but he wasn't lusting for her. It occurred to him that if she asked him why he was really in Baja he would most likely tell her. In fact when he thought about it he realized he wanted to talk to her about why he was building her a clinic instead of on the east coast doing what he really loved doing; solving crimes and catching dirt bags. And living happily with his wife.

Late Saturday afternoon Jethro was half asleep on a lounge chair in the shade of the front porch. That very pleasant feeling of floating between sleep and wakefulness was abruptly interrupted by Mike dropping Jethro's phone in his lap.

"You need to wake up and answer this damn thing."

Jethro blindly reached for the phone and pulled himself awake enough to answer.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Jethro, it's me."

That got his attention and Jethro was up and off the porch in a flash. Hearing Jenny's voice was the sweetest way to wake up.

"Hey, finally. Are you okay, Jen?"

"Yes, I'm alright. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to return your calls. I've been in Boston with Lauren and I haven't been checking my phone. How are you?"

Jethro knew Lauren was a friend of Jenny's from college. He thought he remembered she was a psychologist or something like that.

"I'm okay. Why are you in Boston? What' goin' on Jen?"

"I needed some time off. SecNav and I agreed a leave would be a good idea. I came up here at Lauren's invitation to try and get my head straight and work out some things. I wanted to understand why I'd done something so stupid to you. To us."

"And?"

"It's a work in progress. Tell me what you've been doing. I can't imagine you sitting on the beach with Franks all this time."

Jethro laughed. He told Jenny about all the projects he'd done around the beach house and about the clinic. It felt good to talk to her without anger ruling the conversation.

"Are you ever coming back, Jethro?"

"After the first of the year. We need to talk, Jen. See where things stand."

"Yes, I want to do that. I love you. I know I hurt you terribly and I'm sorry."

"I know. I don't know if we can fix our marriage but I'm willing to at least talk about it."

"That sounds good. I need to go but I'm glad you called, Jethro. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Thanks for calling me back. Bye Jen."

Jethro put the phone in his pocket and stood very still replaying the call over in his head. Something wasn't right. Jenny wasn't telling him the whole truth. He didn't know what of course but something wasn't right; he could hear it in her voice. Jenny was one of the very few people who could keep a secret from Jethro and he suspected she was keeping one now. That irritated him for a while until he reminded himself he'd left DC months ago and filed for a divorce. Maybe he didn't have a right to know everything that was going on with Jenny anymore.

Thinking about filing for the divorce reminded Jethro he needed to call Faith. He pulled out his phone and found her number.

"Hello."

"Hey, Faith it's Jethro."

"Well hello stranger. How's Mexico?"

"Warm and sunny."

"I hate you."

"I know. Listen, you don't have a court date do you?"

"No, I was going to check again tomorrow and see if we might get something in early December."

"No, I don't want you to do that. Let's hold off until after the new year. I'll be back in DC in January. Things might change."

"I'm very happy to hear that. Okay, I'll put this on the very back burner. I hear Jenny isn't at NCIS. What's going on?"

"Not sure. She says she just needed a break so SecNav agreed to a leave of absence. Supposedly it's just for three months from what I hear."

"Well, I hope she's okay. You two belong together so I hope this works out. You behaving yourself?"

"Mostly. Don't work too hard, Faith. Thanks for everything. I'll see you when I get back there."

"You better. Take care Jethro."

"Bye."

Jethro walked down to the waters edge and stared out at the expanse of blue-green water. What was he waiting for? He could be home in three days if he really wanted to. Something was keeping him from packing up and going back to DC and Jenny. Was it his pride as she'd said? Was it fear that no matter what he did things would never be okay again? Or, was he just being too damn stubborn for his own good. Jethro decided the answer was probably some of all of those things and more he didn't know about. He wished Ana was around this weekend. He needed to talk to someone besides Mike. As much as he and Mike cared about each other Jethro knew Mike didn't really care for Jenny that much. He was okay with that but it meant that Mike would almost always take his side and maybe right now he needed a more unbiased opinion on things. Ana was in San Diego though so Jethro just walked off down the beach thinking and brooding and feeling the sadness creeping back into his soul.

He'd been feeling better for a few weeks. The work was helping and now that he had decided to go home in January he was beginning to imagine things working out and them being happy again. That was mostly wishful thinking he knew but still, some days he held onto those ideas as if they were already true. Jethro knew things would never be the same for him and Jenny again but sometimes he could convince himself they would be good again. Then he'd remember that he'd thought everything was great the whole time his wife had a lover and then the anger and the sadness and despair would take over again. Just when he thought he'd managed to pull himself out of the pit he'd find himself right back in there.

Tired of walking, Jethro sat down on the sand and let go of the emotions he'd been fighting. He felt the tears he hated so much stinging his eyes and he let them fall. That old familiar ache in the pit of his stomach was back. Talking to Jenny had felt good for a few minutes but now he almost wished she hadn't called him.

On her way home Sunday evening Ana thought a lot about Jethro. He seemed better the last couple of weeks; less guarded and unhappy. The work definitely agreed with him from everything she could see. When they had lunches together he sometimes actually looked at her when she spoke. He responded in full sentences and she'd actually heard him laugh once or twice. Ana knew she was starting to have some serious feelings for Jethro and she understood that was probably not a good idea. She knew Jethro was married and that he was in Baja because of something that had happened in his marriage. That information had come from Carmelita one night while they were having a beer after Ana got off work. Carmelita had known Jethro for several years now and she liked him very much. She worried about him and had shared that with Ana. Now Ana worried too but she was feeling more than worry. She reminded herself daily that he was still married and obviously very torn up about whatever had happened. She warned herself not to get too close but that was very hard to do when she found Jethro so damn attractive and so obviously in need of a friend. Ana wondered if she could be a friend and not want more. As she arrived home and headed inside for a welcome shower and bed, she told herself that if Jethro needed a friend she would be a friend. Anything else would be his decision only.

By the time Jethro went back to work at the clinic on Monday morning he was emotionally pretty much back to where he'd started two months before. He had gone back to the house after his meltdown on the beach and had several bourbons and no supper. Mike didn't say much; he observed and asked Jethro what had happened. Jethro told him about Jenny's call and that he felt she was hiding something from him. Mike held his tongue and didn't say what he was thinking which was, 'what's new'. When Jethro woke up Monday morning he was hungover and miserable. He was not looking forward to working all day but he wasn't going to let Ana down so he had some breakfast, three aspirins and a bottle of water and headed to town. It was going to be a long day.

Ana was excited to see Jethro and tell him about the furnishings they'd found in San Diego. Everything was perfect, exactly what she needed and best of all the doctor whose office was now closed was willing to donate everything if they would haul it off. She wanted Jethro to see the pictures she had taken and see if he would be willing to go back with her in two weeks to remove everything and bring it back. Jethro's truck was parked in his usual place behind the building when she arrived with two coffees and a happy smile on her face.

The smile didn't last long. When she greeted Jethro and handed him his coffee she knew his weekend hadn't been a good one. He barely said thank you and the moment she saw his face she felt like they'd stepped back in time to their first meeting. The sadness was back in his eyes and he looked like he'd been drug through a knothole.

"What's the matter, Jethro?"

"Nothin'."

He didn't look at her and Ana's heart sank at the flat sound of his voice.

"Are you sure? You seem very down this morning. Is Mike alright?"

"He's fine. I'm fine. I got a lot to do today."

Jethro finally looked at her when he said that and he wished he hadn't. She looked like he'd slapped her. What was that he saw, disappointment? Or concern? Whatever it was he didn't like that he'd been responsible for putting that look on her face. Ana turned to leave and he knew he had to say something. He _wanted_ to say something.

"Ana, wait."

She stopped but didn't turn around. She was afraid she might cry if she looked at him just then.

"I'm sorry. I had a bad day yesterday and I shouldn't take it out on you."

Ana turned back to face him and Jethro was relieved to see her give him a small smile.

"Wanna tell me about it?"

This was his opportunity. His moment of truth in a way. He could open up to this woman and see if it helped or he could just stuff everything down again and go on the way he'd always gone. That wasn't really working for him anymore so he decided to do something different.

"I do but it's a long story. Not sure you really want to hear it."

"I have an hour before my first patient. I can't imagine you talking to me for more than an hour, Jethro so why don't you try me."

Jethro grinned at her jab about his conversational shortcomings. He pulled up a two five gallon buckets, turned them over and motioned for Ana to take a seat. He sat on the other one and took a drink of his coffee.

"I came home one night in late May to find my wife with another man. I didn't actually find them, her security agent told me he was in the house. I packed up some of my stuff from my house and left. We had two houses by the way. Anyway, I've been gone ever since. She found me in San Diego just before I came down here and other than that I haven't seen her since a week before I left. She called yesterday and after we talked I felt worse than I did when I couldn't reach her."

"You just left without talking to her? Without any confrontation or explanation?"

"Yes. What was there to explain? She was having an affair and had been for six months. I don't think there's much of anything she could say that would explain that."

"What about your work? You're an NCIS agent right?"

"Yea, but she was the boss. I couldn't very well work for her anymore. I didn't want to see her or talk to her or hear anything she had to say."

Ana took a drink of her coffee and watched Jethro study the floor between them.

"But you still love her don't you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because otherwise you wouldn't be so horribly sad all the time. You'd be happy to be rid of her but you're clearly not. Do you want to go home, Jethro?"

"Yes. And I will but not yet."

"You're not staying because of this place are you? If so you're fired!"

"No, that's not the reason. Although I do want to finish this job. I told Jenny yesterday I was planning to go home in January and she didn't ask me to come sooner. I think she's hiding something from me and that's a problem. I don't like secrets and we have always promised no secrets between us. Obviously, she didn't stick to that."

"Obviously. What's magical about January?"

"Nothing. It's just I expect to be finished here and I can't live with Mike forever and spend my days sitting on the beach. I'm not ready for that yet. I need to go home and get things sorted out. See what's left for Jenny and I. If anything."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until Ana's receptionist called and said they had a little girl with a cut on her head in the waiting room.

"Thank you for talking to me Jethro. You'll make the right decision when the time comes. For now, please know I'm here any time you want to talk or vent or whatever. Okay?"

"Yes, thanks. And thanks for listening."

That early morning conversation was really the start of the friendship between Jethro and Ana that became so important for both of them. For Jethro it was the beginning of a long process of healing from the chaos that had been in his head since that fateful night in late May. For Ana the conversation and friendship that followed was bittersweet; on the one hand she valued being Jethro's friend and sounding board but on the other hand she knew her feelings for him would have to be kept to herself. Friendship was all she could expect from Jethro as long as he was still so in love with his wife. Ana fully expected him to return to DC in January and not look back. She cared enough for him to want him first and foremost to be happy. Going home to his wife and getting his life back was obviously what he wanted so Ana was determined to be a friend who helped him work out how that could happen.

The rest of the week went smoothly as far as the work was concerned. Ana was there every morning with coffee and the willingness to listen if Jethro felt like talking. Most mornings he didn't but once or twice he shared a thought with her that told her he was becoming more comfortable with her. He trusted her. On Thursday they ate lunch together in Ana's office and she finally showed him the pictures of all the counters and cabinets they were getting from the out-of-business doctor's office.

"These look perfect. How much is this costing you?"

"That's the best part; he's donating it all. He just wants it out of there by the middle of November so he can turn the office over to the new occupants."

"You have a way to get them here?"

"Yes. Steve, my friend who found them has some guys who will remove them all and get them loaded for him. He's going to bring it all down here as soon as I tell him we're ready. When will we be ready?"

"Maybe not that soon. I still have to finish the painting and do all the floors. But, there's plenty of room where all the supplies were stored. He could bring it all down anytime and we can store it until I'm ready."

"That sounds perfect. I'd love to have it all here so you can check it out and make sure it doesn't need anything done to it. Even if there are minor problems the price was right and I couldn't turn it down."

"Of course not. Tell Steve to get it here and we'll make it work."

Jethro didn't see Ana on Friday and he left a little early because he was at a stopping point and didn't want to start anything new so late in the day. He was looking forward to relaxing in the sun over the weekend. He felt better about things than he had at the first of the week and he credited Ana with that. Just saying out loud to another person what was going on seemed to have helped. He still thought about Jenny almost constantly for long parts of each day but at least he could turn that off for a while now and then. He was still very worried that something was wrong that she wasn't telling him about. He wondered if there'd been some gossip about them that had led to the SecNav asking her to take a leave. He decided he'd call Ducky on Saturday and ask about that.

Neither Ducky or Ziva had any information about Jenny and neither of them thought there had been any gossip or problem for her regarding their separation. Ziva told Jethro that as far as she knew Jenny was still in Boston. He decided she was safe there and with a good friend so he'd stop worrying so much. He started to call her twice on Sunday but remembering how miserable he'd been after talking to her the previous Sunday dissuaded him from that idea.

On Monday morning Ana arrived with coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls one of her patients had given her. Jethro was more than happy to stop what he was doing and enjoy two rolls.

Between bites he said, "One of my favorites. Thanks."

"You are very welcome. Whatever you eat is less that I will because I just love these things. Rosa makes them about once a month and always brings me a pan. I try to share as much as I can but I have to admit I usually wind up eating more than my fair share."

"Well, I'll be happy to help you abstain."

"What's on the schedule this week?"

"Painting. And more painting."

"Will you really be finished by the end of the year?"

"Oh yeah. By Christmas probably."

"Then will you go home early?"

"Probably not. I'm not much of a holiday person so I'd rather be here with Mike where we don't really do the whole Christmas thing. I'll go home after the first of the year like I've planned."

Of course Ana was pleased to hear that. She was already dreading Jethro leaving. Their quiet conversations and even quieter lunches were becoming very important to her and she knew she was going to miss Jethro terribly when he left.

"I better get to the office and let you get to work. Maybe we can do lunch today?"

"I'll be here. Thanks again for the rolls."

"You're welcome."

Ana didn't make it for lunch that day but on Tuesday Jethro showed up in her office with tacos and rice and they shared lunch on her old, rickety desk.

"You really need a better desk. Is there one in all that stuff Steve's bringing?"

"I don't think so. Yes, this one is pretty much shot but it's okay for now. Someday I'll have a new desk."

Jethro decided right then he would find a desk for her and refinish it in time for her to put it in her new office in the new clinic. There was an antique shop on the edge of town that might have what he wanted. He make a mental note to check it out that evening on the way home.

"Tell me about working for Mike. That must have been something."

Jethro smiled. Oh the stories he could tell.

"It was an experience that's for sure. He taught me just about everything I know about being an agent and investigating crime scenes. He was a master at interrogation. We definitely had some interesting times."

"Okay, just one story today. Please."

Jethro thought for a minute then spent the next fifteen minutes between eating his lunch telling Ana about one of their first cases. It wasn't really funny because after all a Sailor had been murdered but the way Jethro described the process and the crazy ending had Ana almost in tears laughing at him. She could see a much younger Jethro in her minds eye as he followed Mike around trying to learn his job and stay out of the way at the same time.

"We got the guy in the end of course but Mike nearly drove me crazy before it was all over."

"My goodness, you two are quite a pair. I'm surprised NCIS survived."

"Me too."

Jethro worked steadily day after day and the job was moving along nicely. He was getting tired though and was anxious to be finished. The trouble was he was a perfectionist so everything took longer. Ana was there most days and she began to see just how tired and worn out Jethro was becoming. She tried to encourage him to slow down but that fell on deaf ears. One Friday night she went to check on him and found him cleaning his paint rollers and brushes. The painting was almost finished and the place looked great to Ana. Jethro had put two coats on every wall and door and every inch of woodwork.

"Jethro it looks fabulous. You've done a wonderful job."

"Not finished yet but getting there."

His voice was quiet and she couldn't help but notice he seemed to be in pain.

"Are you hurting somewhere?"

"Just my back. Glad it's Friday. No work this weekend for sure."

"When you're finished come back to the office will you?"

Jethro looked over at her wondering what was up.

"Sure. I'll be there in ten or fifteen minutes."

Jethro finished what he was doing then washed his hands and face and wiped off his chest and back with a clean towel. He needed a shower that was for sure. Ana went back to the clinic and sure enough in fifteen minutes Jethro stuck his head in her office. She was sitting at her old, rickety desk waiting for him. He looked at her and noticed, not for the first time, that she was really very pretty.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I want you to come with me."

She stood up and walking past him she took his hand and led him down the hall to one of the exam rooms. Now he was really wondering what was going on. Ana pointed to the examine table which Jethro noticed was opened up with the head and foot rests up making it a lot longer than normal. There was a clean sheet covering it and another one folded on the end. He looked around and noticed there was a candle burning on the counter and then he noticed there was some music playing softly.

"What's goin' on Ana?"

"You my friend are getting a massage. Doctor's orders."

If she thought he was going to argue she was greatly mistaken. Jethro loved getting a massage and he knew he definitely needed one after all these weeks of remodeling work.

"You don't need to convince me, Doc."

"Good. I'll let you get undressed and I'll be back in a few minutes. Down to your shorts Jethro, this will be a full body job. Here, drink at least half of this before we start."

Ana handed him a bottle of water and stepped out so he could get undressed. She waited in the break room where she was heating up a rice bag for Jethro's back and a few minutes later knocked on the door and Jethro told her to come in.

Jethro was stretched out on his stomach with his face in the head rest staring at the floor. He hadn't bothered to cover himself with the sheet; after all Ana was a doctor and was about to give him a full body massage, he didn't see any reason to cover himself. Ana placed the warm rice bag on Jethro's lower back then she rubbed some oil on her hands and got started. She told him to let her know if she hurt him and Jethro just barely responded. She started on his head and before long Jethro was totally relaxed. By the time Ana got to his lower back Jethro was asleep. Ana smiled to herself and indulged in getting a very good look at the man she was slowly but surely falling in love with. She might not have known that was happening but it certainly was. She noted everything about his body with both a professional and personal interest. There was nothing in her survey that she didn't like. She hated to wake him up but eventually she needed him to turn over.

Ana stood by his head and rubbed his shoulders.

"Jethro, can you turn over for me?"

"Not sure. I might be dead."

Ana laughed. Jethro managed to roll over and she put her hand gently on his chest over his heart.

"No still beating."

Jethro was now very alert but he didn't open his eyes. Ana's hand lingered on his chest and he realized he liked the way it felt. When he felt her start to move her hand away he covered it with his and held her hand in place. Neither of them said anything for a long few moments. Finally Jethro let go of her hand and opened his eyes. Ana was looking at him intently but she didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what had just happened. What he'd just done. He searched her face for any sign of uneasiness but all he saw was her calmly looking at him with a small smile on her face.

"It's okay, Jethro."

Jethro relaxed and Ana got back to the massage. When she'd started Jethro had been keenly aware of her touch and somewhat afraid of what his reaction would be to having her touching him. Being a very tactile person he missed being touched by a woman. He was worried he might become aroused when Ana got her hands on him. That hadn't happened he was happy to note. In fact he had been so relaxed after just a few minutes that he'd fallen asleep.

Now Ana massaged his temples and worked on his neck and the front of his shoulders them moved to his legs and again Jethro was almost asleep. Ana noted the scar on his left shoulder and on his leg. She recognized the one on the shoulder as a bullet wound. She was sure there was a story that went with it; maybe she'd get Jethro to tell her about it some day. Then Ana realized their 'some days' were limited and getting fewer each day. She banished that thought from her mind and concentrated on the man on the table right then.

Too soon Ana was finished. She covered Jethro with a clean, soft sheet and left him sleeping. At least she thought he was sleeping. He wasn't though. He was very relaxed and nearly asleep but what he was really doing was thinking about how much he liked having Ana touching him. It wasn't just the massage; he'd had lots of massages from women and he'd never given it much thought but this was different. He found himself wondering about how it might feel to return the favor. Jethro knew he was probably just missing Jenny and he told himself not to get confused about what his relationship was with Ana; she was his doctor and a friend. Nothing more. Besides, he was still in love with Jenny.

Meanwhile, Ana was sitting in her office telling herself to get it together. She had enjoyed giving that massage probably as much as Jethro had enjoyed receiving it. She knew that was dangerous and a bad idea all around. Jethro was married and missing his wife and soon would be returning to her. That didn't really alter how Ana was beginning to feel about her patient/contractor/friend. It just meant she had to keep all those feelings to herself. Jethro interrupted her thoughts when he stepped into her office.

"Thanks for the massage, Ana. It was wonderful. You've had some training."

"Yes, I used to earn some pretty good money as a masseuse while I was in med school. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'd recommend another one in two weeks. Remember to drink plenty of water over the weekend."

"I will. Thanks again. You ready to go? I'll walk you out."

"Yes, I'm ready. Thanks."

The next week Jethro finished the painting and installed all the light fixtures and electrical outlets and switches. He found a tile saw he could borow and started on the floors in the bathrooms and break room. Jethro enjoyed the detail work that tile required but it was hard on his back and knees. By Friday he was nearly finished with the bathrooms and would start on the break room on Monday. Ana had come over for lunch every day and their conversations were less and less tentative each day. She got him to tell her about his team and he told her some more stories about working with Mike. The subject of Jenny was not brought up. Ana told Jethro about helping her uncle, Dr. Jose, when she was growing up and how he inspired her to go to medical school. The friendship was blossoming.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Betrayal**

Chapter 8

Steve showed up the following week with all the cabinets and counters from San Diego. Jethro spent most of that day helping with the unloading and examining each piece to make sure it was all in good shape. It was so much better than what Ana was working with now there wasn't really any comparison. Jethro told her she'd done very well and he thought each piece would work in the new space. Needless to say she was thrilled; as much with Jethro's praise as with the furnishings.

The next week Jethro finished the tile on the floors and managed to use some left over pieces for a backsplash in the kitchenette. Ana was thrilled with how things were shaping up. Thursday was Thanksgiving and even though they were in Mexico, Jethro and Mike decided to celebrate. Jethro took the day off and the two men took the boat out for some fishing and beer drinking. Mike was happy to see Jethro seemed to be more like his old self these days and he wondered what was making the difference. Never one to wonder in silence for long he asked Jethro that question.

"So, Probie, you seem like you're feeling better about things lately. What gives? Have you been talkin' to Jenny?"

"No, haven't talked to her in over a month. I think it's Ana."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Jethro's answer set off alarm bells for Mike. He'd known Ana since she was a young girl and as much as he loved Jethro he didn't want Ana getting caught up in his friend's life. Women seemed to be constantly falling in love with his Probie and Mike didn't want Ana to be another victim of the Gibbs charm. Jethro always seemed oblivious to his affect on the ladies and Mike had no doubt he wouldn't have a clue if Ana was falling for him.

"Whoa, why are you so fired up? I just mean I'm enjoying the work I'm doing and getting to know her. We're friends that's all. And, I know I'm going home in a few weeks. I'm just feeling better. That's all."

"I just don't want to see Ana get hurt when you leave."

"What are you talking about?"

"Probie, women fall in love with you all the time. Hell, Carmelita was a wreck for weeks after you left here the first time. You have no clue but that's the truth. I don't want to see Ana go through that."

"You don't have to worry. Ana knows about Jenny and she knows I'm going home to try and work things out. She and I are friends. That's all there is to it. She's too smart to get caught up in my life. What do you mean about Carmelita?"

"Ah hell, she had a terrible crush on you when you were here after your coma. When you went back she was miserable for weeks. Not your fault."

"Geez, I had no idea."

"You never do."

That was the end of it for both Jethro and Mike and the rest of the day passed without much conversation. As usual. They caught plenty of fish for supper and were back at the cabin by early afternoon. Jethro decided to call Jenny to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. The call went straight to voice mail so Jethro left a brief message. Then he called Ducky. That went better as Ducky was home and answered on the second ring. As Jethro suspected "his" team was there for dinner and he spoke briefly with each of them. Everyone said they were fine and wished he would come home. Abby was especially forceful about that point. Ziva said she'd found a place she really like and was planning to move the first of February if that was okay with him. Of course Jethro told her she could stay in the house until then. Ducky got back on last and Jethro asked about Jenny.

"Have you talked to Jen?"

"No, Jethro I'm sorry I haven't. I don't think she's in town to be honest with you."

"She was staying with a friend in Boston but I figured she'd be home by now. I have a feeling she's hiding something from me."

"Such as?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's still involved with whatshisname."

"I supposed that's possible but it doesn't feel right to me. Perhaps it's as she told you, she's trying to understand what drove her to such an out of character action. Do you still plan to try and work things out?"

"Yes, if she wants to. I'll be leaving here right after the first of the year to drive back there. Not sure what I'll do if things don't work out for us but I can't stay here forever."

"I believe you and Jenny will get your lives back on track and together. Are you sure you're alright, Jethro? You sound a bit down today."

"I miss you guys, Duck. I miss my life, my work. I'm beginning to regret leaving."

"Jethro, you did what you felt was right at the time. It doesn't mean you can't come back. Once you're here things can be sorted out and set right. I'm sure of it."

"I hope you're right but the longer we go without Jenny even answering my calls the harder it gets for me to think positively. I guess it's my fault for being gone so long."

"Well you can always come back sooner."

"I'm committed to a project here, Duck and I don't want to leave it unfinished. Another six weeks or so won't make a difference I guess. You go back and enjoy your day. I'll see you in a few weeks."

"I look forward to it. Take care my friend."

When Jethro went back to work he was unconsciously avoiding Ana. That was hard to do since she brought him coffee every morning but he was less talkative and she quickly sensed something was wrong. By the third morning that he'd been so distant she decided to find out what was going on. She showed up in the new break room with lunch and insisted Jethro take a break and eat with her.

"What's going on with you these days, Jethro? Did something happen over the weekend?"

"No, what do you mean?"

"I mean you barely look at me these days and hardly speak. I thought we were starting to be good friends but I feel like we're back at the beginning. Have I done something to upset you?"

"No, of course not."

Jethro wasn't sure what to say to her but he didn't want to lie. He cared for Ana and he didn't want to hurt her. On the other hand he didn't want her getting attached to him which Mike seemed to think could happen. Jethro couldn't imagine her being interested in him that way but then again according to Mike, he didn't know what was going on with women most of the time. Maybe Mike was right; he sure didn't know what was going on with his wife. He decided while he was stalling by eating his lunch the best thing was to be honest with Ana.

Ana patiently waited for Jethro to finish eating. She had learned over the course of the last few weeks that he often needed time to organize what he wanted to say before he started talking. Today he seemed to be having an exceptionally difficult time getting started. She wondered if something had happened concerning Jenny. That was really the only reason Jethro's mood ever changed. Finally, Jethro put down his drink and looked right at her.

"It's something Mike said the other day. He seems to be worried about you getting attached to me or something and then being hurt when I leave."

There, he'd said it. Ana just looked back at him, her soft brown eyes never wavering from his face. He thought he saw her frown just a little bit but he wasn't sure.

"That's very sweet of Mike. He still thinks of me as a little girl."

Jethro, ever the interrogator, noted that she didn't deny the possibility.

"So, is that something that I should worry about?"

"No. You should not worry about me. I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of myself"

"I know that but that's not exactly what I meant."

Of course Ana knew that and she was trying very hard to figure out how to get out of this conversation quickly. She knew very well that she would not be able to deceive Jethro if she had to say she wouldn't get attached to him because, one she already was attached and two, she was a terrible liar and Jethro could spot a lie a mile away.

"What did you mean, exactly?"

Jethro narrowed his eyes at her and a tiny little voice in the back of his head told him to be very careful.

"I mean, you won't get attached to me and be hurt when I leave. Will you?"

"Yes and probably."

Now they just sat across from each other at a makeshift table and neither one of them knew what to say next. Ana felt a strange sense of relief that she had told Jethro, sort of, how she felt. She knew he was still in love with his wife and was going back to her in just a few weeks. That didn't keep her from having very strong feelings for him and dreading his departure. Keeping all that to herself had been getting very difficult and now it was sort of out in the open. How Jethro would feel about it was hard to say. Ana conceded that she didn't know Jethro well enough to guess his reaction but she imagined he would feel responsible for her. That, she intended to vigorously discourage.

"Ana, I don't want that. I mean I don't want you to be hurt when I leave."

"Jethro, it's nothing you can really do anything about. I care about you. I want you to be happy. Yes, I will be sad when you leave because yes, I have become attached to you being here. That doesn't mean I'm going to lock myself in a closet or cry myself to sleep every night. I will miss you. I enjoy your company. We are friends after all."

"Okay but Mike …."

"Don't listen to what Mike says he thinks he knows about me. Listen to me. I am a grown woman. I do care for you Jethro but I know you are married and want to reconcile with your wife. And that is exactly what you should do if at all possible. I want you to do that. Now, I'm sure there must be patients I need to see and work you want to get back to. Please do not let Mikes' worries affect our friendship. Okay?"

"Yes, okay. I value our friendship, Ana. I want you to know that."

"I do. We're good, right?"

"Yes, we're good."

But Jethro was now worried that indeed Ana was emotionally attached to him and that would cause her unhappiness when he was gone. It surprised him that she seemed to have such strong feelings for him. After all, he was a total mess when he started working for her and he hadn't improved all that much. He was still sad a good deal of the time and he only rarely initiated any contact with her. Or anyone else for that matter. Essentially, he was a hermit who showed up every morning to work all day and then go back to the beach and Mike's cabin and a bottle of bourbon or beer. Ana was a beautiful woman who could certainly have her pick of men if she chose to do so. Maybe her prospects were limited in El Rosario but Jethro was sure when she was working in San Diego she had plenty of contact with eligible men with a lot more to offer than him. Jethro told himself to concentrate on the work and limit his contact with Ana without hurting her feelings. How he would accomplish that he wasn't sure.

For her part Ana went back to work wondering how she would manage to maintain a friendship with Jethro without letting herself in for a broken heart when he left. She was sure Jethro was going to be cautious around her now and she hated the idea of him withdrawing back into himself just when he had seemed to be relaxing and finding some small measure of happiness. She didn't necessarily think she was the reason for that but she did think their friendship was helping Jethro during this very tough time for him. She was determined to continue to be a friend to him even if it cost her in the end. She wouldn't let his concern for her stop her from doing whatever she could to help him get through this period of uncertainty.

The rest of the week went smoothly and before he knew it, it was December. Jethro could hardly believe he'd been away from DC and his home and his job and most importantly Jenny, for six months. Sometimes when he was working his mind drifted to their life together and he felt a physical ache for her. He longed to have her in his arms, to hear her tell him she loved him. Unfortunately, every time he called he got her voice mail. She had finally returned his call from Thanksgiving but she did so with a text message thanking him for calling and sending her love to him and Mike. Hardly what he wanted to hear. After that he called her every day for ten days, at different times of the day and never got an answer. He was getting more and more frustrated every day and it was showing in his attitude and his work.

Finally one day about two weeks before Christmas he woke up to find a text from Jenny that said; _Jethro, pls stop calling me. I'm alright. We'll talk when you get back._ Jethro read that message at least a dozen times before he threw the phone down on the bed and stalked out of the room. He was furious and crushed at the same time. She didn't even want to talk to him now. What the hell had happened? She was the one pushing for them to get back together and now this? Pacing back and forth on the porch Jethro told himself it was all his fault; he'd been gone too long. He should pack up right now and go home and confront her. She'd probably found someone else and when he got back all that would be left would be a divorce and an empty house.

As much as he wanted to go home Jethro wouldn't leave Ana without a clinic at this point. He was nearly finished and then he wanted a week or so to refinish the desk he'd found for her. Going home now wouldn't necessarily make a difference he reasoned. No, he needed three more weeks and then he'd go as planned. Jethro stared out across the beach and at long last began to accept that his life with Jenny was over. He felt like he'd been on a roller coaster for six months and now, he told himself, the ride was almost over. Her refusal to talk to him told Jethro all he needed to know about his chances of getting his life back; those chances seemed to be zero now.

Angry and hurt, Jethro walked to town instead of taking the truck. He needed time to get himself under control before he saw Ana or Miguel, the young man who was helping him install the cabinets. He wanted to punch something one minute and the next he wanted to cry. Jethro hated not being in control of his life and his emotions but that was pretty much how his life had been for months now.

Jethro didn't see Ana that day which was probably a good thing. He was such a mess she wouldn't have left him alone until he talked to her and as much as he wanted to do that he didn't think he should. He didn't want to involve her in his sorry state any more than she already was. He went home that night and drank himself to sleep. He told Mike about the message from Jenny and Mike braced himself for a rough few days. He wanted very much to throttle Miss High and Mighty Jenny Shepard.

The next morning Jethro woke with a headache but Mike had breakfast waiting so by the time he left for work he felt about half way decent. He decided to walk again and Mike watched him trudge off toward town.

That afternoon Jethro was installing one of the countertops in an examination room and cut himself badly because he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Miguel had gone out to get them a drink and when he came back Jethro was sitting on the floor holding his very bloody arm against his chest. Miguel almost fainted but he managed to gather himself and quickly wrapped Jethro's arm with his tee shirt and got him to the office next door. By the time Ana saw Jethro sitting in one of her exam rooms he was pale from blood loss and pain. The tee shirt wrapped around his arm was soaked with blood. The cut was on the inside of his left arm and was deep and jagged.

"Oh my god, Jethro what have you done?"

"Almost cut my arm off it looks like."

Ana was not impressed with his humor.

"You need to lie down Jethro."

He didn't need to be told twice. Jethro laid back on the table and as soon as Ana touched his arm he relaxed. He couldn't believe he'd been so damned careless. Years and years of working with saws and knives and Jethro had never cut himself this badly. All he could think of was his situation with Jenny would be the death of him one way or another.

Ana unwrapped the tee shirt and discarded it. She cleaned the cut and quickly gave Jethro several shots to deaden the area and then an extra shot for the pain she knew he had but would never admit to. She looked up at him and saw he was watching her through half open eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes were now clouded with pain and she had a very strong urge to touch him, kiss him and take away that pain. She thought he looked very tired and he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. Ana wished she could give Jenny a piece of her mind and tell her how much Jethro was suffering because of her. Instead she simply put her hand on his chest and he roused just a little bit.

"I'm going to sew this up. Just relax. I gave you a pain shot so you might fall asleep. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry about this."

"Don't be. I'm pretty sure you didn't do this on purpose."

"I promise I didn't."

Then he was out. Ana took her time and carefully, with fine silk and very small stitches, sewed his arm up. Then she gently cleaned away the blood and wrapped his arm in a gauze bandage. She thought back to her first meeting with Jethro; also a stitching job. How things had changed since then. When she first saw him Jethro was such a mess. So unhappy, unkept and barely civil. Now he was at least marginally less unhappy, usually not unkept and most often very friendly towards her. Watching Jethro sleep, Ana knew Mike's fears for her were not unfounded.

While he slept, Ana took Jethro's pulse and blood pressure. Both were fine. She left him sleeping and went to see if anyone was waiting on her. There were no patients and since it was just before closing time she told her receptionist to go ahead and lock up. The young nurse who worked with her was already gone for the day so Ana sat with Jethro knowing he would most likely wake up in the next half hour or so. Ana forced herself not to simply sit and watch him. It was hard to do because she very much enjoyed looking at Jethro; he was handsome and easy to look at. Having seen him almost naked when she gave him a massage she could easily imagine his body underneath those well worn jeans and the bloody tee shirt. It didn't take much for her to imagine touching him again and having him touch her. Ana shook herself and picked up some paperwork to distract herself.

Jethro slept for almost forty-five minutes and when he woke he looked over and saw Ana at the desk working on her laptop. She had her lower lip caught in her teeth and her brow was creased in concentration. Her hair was pulled back and held in place with what Jenny called a scrunchy. She was lovely Jethro thought to himself. She wore some simple silver earrings and even in scrubs Jethro could tell she was in good shape. She certainly had curves in all the right places. Lying there looking at her Jethro realized he was attracted to her in a way he probably shouldn't be. Damn. Maybe it was just the pain meds she'd given him. Maybe it was his frustration with Jenny and that damned text message. He was beginning to believe his idea of them reconciling was just a pipe dream. Regardless, this woman was a friend and was off limits for anything else. Jethro moved just a little and Ana turned to him smiling. And what a lovely smile it was.

He tried to sit up but he forgot and pushed up with his injured arm and immediately fell back gasping at the pain. Ana was next to him in an instant. Tears fill his eyes and he gritted his teeth against the fire that raced up his arm to his brain and back again. Ana, standing on his left side laid one hand on his shoulder and the other grasped his hand. Jethro squeezed her hand, almost too hard but she held on. He took several quick breaths trying to get himself under control.

"It's okay, I've got you. Just relax and take some deep breaths."

"Aaagh. Damn that hurt!"

"I'm sorry, I should have been over here."

Her hand moved from his shoulder to his face and Jethro visibly relaxed. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the feel of her fingers on his face. What happened next was pure instinct and need on his part. Jethro put his right hand on the back of her neck and pulled her down and kissed her. He held her against him, his lips soft on hers and for a very brief moment Ana wasn't sure what to do. Then she came to her senses and pulled back only enough to get a better angle and kissed him back. They held that kiss, tasting each other for a long time before Jethro let go of her and she backed off. Neither of them spoke and he still had a firm grip on her hand.

Was it the pain meds or the text from Jenny? Was it the fact that he so desperately missed physical intimacy? Whatever it was that pushed them to that first kiss neither of them knew but neither of them cared at that moment. Ana wanted another kiss and Jethro didn't know what he wanted.

"Ana…"

She silenced him with two fingers against his lips.

"Don't say anything. Don't say you're sorry. I'm not. But, I won't take advantage of the fact that you're hurt, in more ways than one, and probably still a little dopey from the pain shot. Let's just let this one go, Jethro."

"I'm not sorry."

"You're not?"

"No but let's face it, it probably wasn't a great idea."

"I thought it was a spectacular idea. But like I said, I won't take advantage of the moment."

"And if I wanted you to?"

"Do you?"

In response he pulled her down and kissed her much more thoroughly than before. His fingers tangled in her hair and he quite literally took her breath away. As the kiss was ending, they heard knocking at the front door of the clinic. Ana quickly got herself together and took some deep breaths. Jethro simply laid back on the table and sighed.

"Stay right there while I see who that is. Please don't try and get up by yourself."

"Yes ma'am."

It was Mike at the door.

"Hey, Dr. Ana. Jethro walked in today and he's not around anywhere so I thought you'd know where he was."

"Yes, he's here actually. He had an accident today and he's still resting. Come in. I'm glad you're here so he has a ride home."

Ana led Mike back to the exam room.

"What happened? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine. He got a rather nasty cut on his arm and I had to sew him up. Again. I gave him a shot for the pain and he's still a bit groggy."

They stepped into the room to find Jethro sitting up at the end of the table. He was holding his arm against his chest and was obviously still in some pain.

Ana gave him a small smile and said, "You know I think a sling might be a good idea at least for a few hours. It would help with the pain."

"Damn Probie this lady is always having to sew you back together."

"Seems so. Thanks for comin' Mike. I could use a ride home."

Mike looked from Jethro to Ana and back to Jethro and shook his head. There was no way he was letting this opportunity pass him by. He wanted to see the two of them together so he said, "How 'bout some dinner you two?"

Ana went to the supply closet and returned with a sling and a clean scrub shirt to replace Jethro's bloody tee shirt. She cut off the tee shirt and helped him pull on the scrubs. Then she got the sling situated for him.

"I could certainly eat and Jethro should eat something before he takes any pain pills tonight."

Jethro relaxed his arm into the sling and mumbled, "I'm hungry."

The three of them went out the front door and Ana locked up. They walked across the street and down a block to the cantina for supper. With Mike leading the way, Jethro took the opportunity to reach for Ana's hand for just a brief moment. She squeezed his hand but didn't look at him. The feelings rocketing through her were almost too much for her to manage at that moment. As good as it had felt to kiss him, Ana knew very well that Jethro was just weeks away from leaving El Rosario and her, probably forever. What price would she pay for the wonderful feeling she got from kissing this man?

After a fun, relaxing meal Mike and Jethro drove off for the beach and Ana walked home alone. She relived the two kisses with Jethro over and over in her mind. She knew she was setting herself up for much unhappiness in a few weeks but she didn't really care. She told herself Jethro had wanted the kiss as much as she had; in fact he's the one who initiated it in the first place. Ana had no regrets and no expectations either. She would never presume to make any demands on Jethro and she would not pursue him either. Whatever happened next would be up to him.

As soon as they got home Jethro took the pain pills Ana had given him and sat down on the porch to enjoy the evening breeze off the water. His arm ached but the sling was a help and he knew the pills would kick in pretty soon. He closed his eyes and remembered the feel of Ana's lips on his. What had caused him to kiss her he didn't know but he was not sorry he'd done so. It felt so good to touch her and have her touching him. It also felt very good to know a woman like Ana _wanted_ to kiss him. Jethro, like any man, had an ego and when his wife turned to another man for her pleasure his ego was severely damaged. Ana's interest in him made Jethro feel better in several ways and the boost to his ego was just one of them.

Mike stepped out on the porch and saw Jethro nearly asleep in his chair. Something was going on between his Probie and his doctor he was sure of that. Tonight, they had that look between them that even an old guy like Mike could recognize. A more competent ladies man than Mike Franks did not exist anywhere nearby and he knew the signs of mutual attraction very well. Just what he'd been worried about had been staring at him across the dinner table all evening.

"You slept with her yet?"

Jethro opened his eyes and looked at his friend and mentor in the dark. He knew where he was by the light of Mike's cigarette.

"No."

"But you've done something'. I'm not blind or stupid and I saw the two of you this evening. I told you Jethro!"

"I kissed her that's all. I know I shouldn't have but I did."

"Dammit Jethro!"

"I know."

Mike heard the regret and the sadness in Jethro's voice. He knew ever since the text message from Jenny that Jethro had been really struggling to keep himself together. He was surprised his Probie hadn't left already but on the other hand he knew Jethro would never leave his project unfinished. Once again he wanted to murder Jenny for what she was putting Jethro through.

"Oh hell, it's not a crime. She's a beautiful woman who obviously cares about you. Why not?"

"Because I'm still married. And I'm leaving."

"There is that. What're you gonna do?"

"Nothing. I'll talk to Ana. She knows the score. It was just a moment, the pain meds, the arm, all of it and I just had to kiss her. And she kissed me. We both know it can't go anywhere. Don't worry about her Mike."

"Can I worry about you at least"

"Please do."

On the way to the clinic the next morning Jethro knew he wouldn't be doing any heavy lifting for several days. The cut was deep and would take a while to heal. He would ask Miguel to bring a helper for the time it would take to get all the cabinets and counters installed. Jethro saw several patients waiting at the door so he knew he wouldn't see Ana any time soon.

When he got to the room where he and Miguel had been working when the accident happened, Miguel was already there and he had a friend with him.

"Senor Gibbs, this is my cousin Rico. I think we need help today. Si?"

"Si, Miguel. Good thinking. Welcome Rico."

Rico was a quiet young man and like Miguel an excellent worker. Jethro spoke just enough Spanish and Miguel spoke fairly good English so they managed very well. Jethro mostly gave directions when it came time to move another cabinet into place but he could still use enough tools to do all the attaching and leveling. The three of them made a good team and by lunch time they had finished all the installation in both examination rooms. Ana showed up to take Jethro off to lunch in her office and Miguel and Rico sat outside with their lunch they'd brought with them. Jethro told them he'd be back in an hour.

Lunch was tacos and rice from the cantina. They ate in comfortable silence for a while until Jethro put down his fork and looked across at Ana who was already looking at him.

"Should we talk about last night?"

"Sure. What would you like to say?

"I enjoyed kissing you. But you know we can't keep that up."

Ana watched his face as he struggled to say what he thought he needed to say to her. The fact that he was found it so difficult to tell her no made her like him even more.

"I enjoyed it as well and I know we can't let ourselves get carried away. I know you're still in love with Jenny and you're leaving soon. I may have to kiss you again sometime though. Just a warning."

Jethro laughed. "Okay, I guess I can deal with that."

He ate another taco then said, "I don't want you to be hurt when I leave. Mike says I don't know how I affect women sometimes and he's right. I have no clue. I like that you wanted to kiss me but you're right, I love my wife and I'm still married. I can't cheat on her no matter what's going on right now."

"I understand all that. Your devotion to your marriage is one of the things I most admire about you Jethro. You're a good man and if the timing was different I wouldn't let you get away. I meant it when I said I want you to be happy. I want you and Jenny to work things out and live happily ever after."

"Thank you Ana."

The next two weeks flew by and with Miguel and Rico's help everything was finished two days before Christmas. Ana and Jethro had lunch together every day and several times he stayed late just to talk to her. Ana knew their time together was drawing to a close and she wanted to spend as much time with Jethro as possible. It was a double-edged sword; she wanted to be with him, talk to him, watch him, but she knew the more time they spent together the more she would miss him when he was gone. But, she couldn't pass up any opportunity to be with Jethro. To his surprise, Jethro wanted much the same thing. He felt very relaxed when he was with Ana and he found her very easy to talk to. Jenny was on his mind less and less but he didn't let himself think about what that meant.

One evening Ana went home with Jethro to check on Mike who Jethro had told her was coughing a lot and seemed to not feel very well. They found Mike sitting on the porch looking very poorly. He barely acknowledged them when they walked up.

With a worried voice Jethro asked, "Mike, are you okay?"

"I've felt better."

That was quite a revelation for Mike to make as he only rarely shared any kind of personal information. Ana sat down next to him and expertly took his pulse. She noted he was feverish and his color was not good.

"Do you have pain anywhere, Mike?"

"Just when I cough which I seem to do a lot."

Ana took her stethoscope out of her bag and listened to Mike's heart. Then she asked him to sit up and listened to his lungs as he took some deep breaths. She took his temperature and blood pressure. Jethro stood by anxiously.

"What's the verdict, Doc?"

"You almost certainly have bronchitis if not pneumonia. You definitely have a temperature and your lungs are congested. When you cough do you get anything up?"

"Sometimes."

"Is there any color to it?"

"Not really."

"Okay, let's start with some antibiotics and see how you feel in a couple of days. If the cough gets worse, of course come see me right away. And no smoking! That's a must. Lots of water. No bourbon for a while. I will leave you some cough medicine that will help break up what's in your chest so you can get it out and breath easier."

"Thanks Ana."

"You're welcome Mike, but next time you come in when you don't feel well. That's what I'm here for. And soon you won't have this one looking out for you." She pointed at Jethro who looked just slightly less worried than when they arrived.

"I know."

"We brought some of Carmelita's enchilada soup. Do you want some?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

"I'll get it ready. You guys relax."

Jethro picked up the bag with the soup and chips in it and headed off to the kitchen. When he was gone Mike reached for Ana's hand.

"I'm gonna be okay right?"

"Of course. Just do exactly what I tell you and you'll be fine."

"What about you? When he leaves I mean."

Ana sighed and squeezed Mike's hand.

"I'll be okay. I want Jethro to be happy and right now that means going back to Jenny to try and repair their marriage. I'll miss him but I'll be okay as long as I know he's happy."

"Jose would be very proud of you, Dr. Ana."

"Thank you Mike."

After they had eaten, Ana insisted Mike turn in for the night and she and Jethro took a walk on the beach. Even though it was almost Christmas the weather was warm and clear. They walked in silence for a while and finally Jethro reached for her hand. Ana let him weave their fingers together and when he gave her a squeeze she responded by squeezing back. She fought to maintain steady breathing but her heart was racing. For all their assurances to each other that they wouldn't go beyond their earlier kisses, Ana wanted Jethro in the worst way. Holding hands with him, walking in the warm evening on the beach; all that was testing her resolve almost to the breaking point. She had to do something to break the spell.

"Tell me about her."

"Jenny?"

"Yes. What's she like? What got your attention first?"

Jethro was glad Ana had broken the silence because he was about two seconds away from kissing her. As much as Ana was being challenged by their present circumstances, Jethro was as well. Her asking about Jenny was a surprise though.

"Her hair. She has red hair and I've always sort of had a thing for redheads."

"I see." Ana suddenly felt drab. She had beautiful, thick, dark brown hair but imagining a lovely woman with red hair next to Jethro she didn't feel very pretty.

In a quiet, soft voice, Jethro went on, "She came to work for me a long time ago. She was my Probie just like I was Mike's. We worked undercover in Europe for almost three years. That's' where we fell in love. But, she wanted a career and not a husband so she went on to other things and I went back to DC. Eventually she moved up and became the Director and my boss."

"But what's she like?"

"She's fiery. Stubborn. Beautiful. She never backs down from me and I like that. She can be fierce but she's very compassionate. She's been my best friend for a long time. Until a few months ago I trusted her completely and she'd never let me down."

"That's why you miss her so; she's not just your wife but your best friend. You know, you could pack up and be home by Christmas if you really wanted to."

"No, I have something I have to finish before I go."

"But the clinic is finished. You said so today when you gave me the tour. Miguel and Rico can help me move everything from the old to the new place. You should go home to Jenny."

"I will but not yet. I have something else I'm working on. And, I'm going to see some friends in San Diego on New Year's Eve."

This surprised Ana because Jethro had not left El Rosario since he got there. She had no idea of course that he had friends in San Diego.

"Really? I'll be there too. Working one last ER shift."

"I thought you weren't doing that anymore."

"I haven't been but they called and I agreed to do a double on New Year's Eve. It's always crazy and I can use the money. What are you going to be doing?"

"An old buddy from the Corps invited me up for the weekend. He wants to talk to me about working for him in DC. Why don't you ride up with me?"

"That would be great. I always worry about my old clunker on the drive."

They were quiet for a while and finally Jethro stopped walking and pulled Ana close. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the mouth. Without hesitation Ana wrapped her arms around him, leaned in and got lost in his kiss. Hands began exploring and the kiss went on and on. Of course they eventually had to breathe so the kiss came to an end but Jethro didn't let go. He held her close and Ana rested her head on his shoulder savoring the feel of being his arms.

"I know we said no more but, Ana I couldn't help it. I…I just…"

"Me too. Let's not try to figure it out, Jethro. I know this is all I can have and I accept that. Let's not talk about it though."

"Alright. I just feel so bad about what I'm doing to you."

"Don't. I'm a grown up and I know the score. I'm not exactly running away from you in case you haven't noticed."

Jethro laughed, "I did notice that. If the…."

"No ifs. Just hold me."

So that's what he did. He held onto a woman he realized he cared about a lot more than he thought he could. He held her and wondered if some other man was holding his wife that night. Jethro was as confused in that moment as he had been since all this mess had started. What was this he felt for Ana? Did these feelings mean he was giving up on his marriage? As much as he knew he needed to get back to DC he didn't want to move from this spot on the beach with this sweet, strong, beautiful woman in his arms. Damn, what a colossal mess his life had become!

By Christmas Mike was feeling much better so he and Jethro took the boat out and enjoyed the day on the water. The weather was spectacular and Jethro knew going back to winter in DC would be unpleasant. Often during the last few days he had found himself dreading his return. Most of the time though he was anxious to get back. He knew he still loved Jenny and he wanted their life back. He missed his team and Ducky. He missed his boat and his house and his work. Going back to NCIS probably wasn't an option but maybe whatever Tom had in mind for him would be challenging and worthwhile.

That evening Jethro called Jenny but got the voicemail. He left a message then sent her a text wishing her a Merry Christmas and telling her he'd see her around the fifth of January. His original plan had been to leave directly from San Diego but since he was taking Ana up he'd have to bring her back and leave again the next day. She'd pointed that out to him and suggested it was a waste of his time but he wouldn't change the plan. The truth was he didn't want to miss spending that time alone with her. He knew it was crazy and made no sense and was even somewhat cruel but he wanted every minute he could get with Ana. Jethro refused to let himself think too much about what that meant.

Mike had made the same observation about all the driving back and forth when Jethro told him his plans. Again, Jethro simply refused to change his mind. Mike didn't argue the point having learned long ago that would have been a colossal waste of time and energy. Besides, Mike was now of the opinion that Jethro's quest to save his marriage was doomed to failure. Too much time had passed without any communication from Jenny. To Mike that meant she wasn't nearly as invested in saving her marriage as Jethro was and that meant it would never work. Mike kept that opinion to himself.

When Jethro spoke to Ducky on Christmas night, Ducky told him no one had seen Jenny or heard from her. He said Ziva had tried numerous times to contact her but with no success. As far as anyone knew Jenny was still in Boston. Ducky said he'd gone so far as to go to the house to see if maybe the housekeeper, Noemi, might tell him something but she was not there. Jethro too had called the house with the same idea but without success. He was beginning to worry that something was wrong but he was sure if it was something really serious Jenny would have contacted him. After all, they were still married.

The old desk Jethro had found at the antique store had been for weeks now, locked safely in the storage area where all the building materials once were kept. Ana had no idea it was there and Jethro intended to keep it that way. He installed a new lock on the door just in case she got curious about what he was doing. Of course she was curious when she arrived at the clinic the Monday after Christmas and his truck was in its regular spot behind the building even though he was finished with the remodeling. She went into the new clinic which was all finished but not yet occupied but didn't find him. She looked around again marveling at the transformation Jethro had brought about with the old space. She was very excited to get moved into the new offices right after the first of the year. She was sorry Jethro wouldn't be there to see it operating.

When she couldn't find him Ana had to go to work but she kept wondering where he was. She remembered he said he was still working on something but she had no idea what he'd been talking about. Patients kept her busy until lunch time and when she finally went to her office for a break she was delighted to find Jethro sitting in "his" chair waiting on her. Lunch was spread out on the desk and he had a very smug, mischievous look on his handsome face.

"Well hello. I looked for you this morning. Where were you hiding?"

"Not hiding. Busy with something you don't need to know about. Yet."

"Oh really. Well now I'm intrigued. I don't suppose I could persuade it out of you?"

Jethro's mind flashed to some very interesting ideas of how Ana might get him to reveal a secret but all of those involved a lot more than a kiss so of course none of them could happen. Ana watched him process her comment and she was pretty sure she knew exactly what he was thinking. The same thing she was most likely.

"No, 'fraud not. I promise I'll show you before we leave for San Diego."

"Alright. I won't mention it again. Thank you for lunch. Did you talk to Jenny on Christmas?"

"No. Called but got the voicemail again. Sent her a text but no reply."

"Jethro, are you sure she's alright? I mean it just seems strange that she's cut off all communication with you considering how much she wanted to get back with you."

"I agree. I can't very well find out anything if she won't answer my calls or messages. I guess when I get back I'll find out what she's up to. I figure if it was anything serious someone would have notified me by now. After all, I'm still the husband."

"Yes, that's true. I'm sure she's just using this time to sort herself out. Sometimes that takes total effort and no outside distractions."

"I guess," he replied with little sympathy.

"Isn't that what you were doing in the mountains? And here?"

"Yeah. You're pretty smart you know that?"

"Well, I am a doctor."

After lunch Jethro went back to his project and Ana to a waiting room full of patients. In the past few days Jethro had all but disassembled the desk and stripped off several layers of finish and years of who-knows-what. He had sanded it down to the original oak and discovered a beautiful desk that had had much too much neglect and very little loving attention. That afternoon he was putting the finishing touches on the sanding and making sure all the joints were tight. The drawers were also sanded down to the original and Jethro had remade the slides so the drawers opened and closed smoothly. Tomorrow he would put on the first coat of finish. He'd chosen a finish that would bring out the natural grain and beauty of the wood without adding any extra, unnatural color After two coats of the finish he'd seal it with a durable, washable sealer. Time was running out but Jethro knew he'd have it finished before they went to San Diego. He had to because once he left he would only be back long enough to drop Ana off and spend one last night with Mike. Then he was headed home.

The days flew by now and on Thursday afternoon Jethro finished the desk. He enlisted Miguel and Rico to help him move it to Ana's office while her nurse and receptionist worked to keep her busy with patients and out of her office. The move went off without any problem so when Ana finished with her last patient and finally headed to her office to sit down, Jethro was waiting. He had carefully moved everything off her desk and had it neatly stacked on the floor. What was in the drawers he had simply moved from the old desk to the new since it was arranged the same way. He was sitting in his usual spot waiting anxiously for Ana to finish for the day. Finally he heard her opening the door and he stood up so he could see her face when she saw the desk.

Ana stepped in and immediately knew something was different. The smell of the freshly finished desk was one clue and Jethro's grin was another. She glanced from him to the desk and her eyes lit up and a huge smile graced her face. Jethro was as pleased with that reaction as with anything in a very long time.

"Oh my god, Jethro what have you done?"

"You like it?"

"Oh yes! I love it. It's beautiful. Where in the world did you find such a treasure?"

Ana moved behind the desk and ran her fingers across the smooth, glossy surface.

"I found it in that old antique store on the edge of town. Wasn't in quite as good a shape then."

Ana was thrilled and almost in tears to think that Jethro had done something so special for her. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. Jethro hugged her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Jethro, I've never had something so special. Thank you so much. I will treasure this always."

"Promise me you won't let just anyone eat lunch on it with you."

"I promise. I may not even eat lunch on it. After all, I'll soon have a nice break room to eat lunch in."

"True. Now, why don't you finish up whatever you have to do and I'll buy you supper."

"Sounds good."

Ana stretched up and kissed him on the lips. She wanted to linger there for a very long time but she didn't trust herself if she did. The idea that Jethro would be gone after this weekend was hitting her hard.

Jethro felt the same way so he didn't take the kiss anywhere near where he wanted to. He forced himself to step back long before he wanted to.

"I'm going to pack up the rest of my tools and I'll meet you out front whenever you're ready."

"Okay."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Betrayal**

Chapter 9

Supper was a bittersweet affair and Ana wanted it to last much longer than it did. Carmelita of course knew Jethro was leaving soon so she sat with them for a while. Mike showed up just as the food arrived and they all had a good time together. Ana studied Jethro when she could and was happy to note that he looked much better than when he'd arrived all those months ago. He still had much sadness in his eyes and a wariness in his manner but not nearly so much of either as when she'd first seen him. Ana honestly wanted Jethro to be happy and if that meant saving his marriage that is what she wanted for him. But deep down she knew she'd never find another man she cared for as much as she did Jethro. She loved him and she hated the idea of watching him drive away in three days.

The plan was for Jethro to pick Ana up right after lunch on Friday. He spent the morning packing his truck and trying hard not to think about leaving Ana behind. He was anxious to get back to DC and find out what was going on with Jenny but this departure was going to be difficult. Part of the reason was he knew Ana was going to be upset by his leaving and he hated the idea of being responsible for her unhappiness. As he and Mike sat on the porch having their last lunch together, Mike sensed his friend's ambivalence about leaving.

"You ready to be on the road home, Probie?"

"Yeah. Sorta wish I didn't have this stop in San Diego but since I imagine I'll be unemployed when I get home I need to see what Mark has to offer."

"That's not why you're going to San Diego."

"No, not entirely. Not sure I'm doin' the right thing though."

"It's not your fault she cares for you. Or vice versa. Just the way things are. Her old truck isn't reliable anyway so she's safer with you drivin' her."

"I know."

"You still love Jenny. Don't question that Jethro. The two of you need to work things out. Get some of your life back. Go back to work and be happy again."

"That's the plan. Thanks for takin' me in again."

"You know you can always come here. I'll start on another list of projects for your next visit."

"Can't imagine what else needs doin'"

"Well, by the time you come back I'm sure there'll be something. Next time bring Jenny and the two of you can have a little vacation."

"That sounds good."

Soon enough it was time to leave to get Ana.

"I'll see you on Sunday night I guess. I'll spend the night then hit the road early Monday. Hopefully I'll be home by Wednesday."

"You two be careful this weekend. Lots of crazy folks out on New Years."

"I know. I'll take care."

Jethro drove off to get Ana who was working at the clinic until noon. She was waiting out front when he pulled up. Jethro got out and put her bag in the back seat and opened the passenger side door for her.

"My, my what service."

"Nothin' but the best."

As they settled in for the long drive Jethro looked over and saw that Ana had her eyes closed. He couldn't help but notice she looked tired and he was very glad he was driving.

"Hey, you okay? You look exhausted."

"I was up all night with Mrs. Ruiz and her early arriving baby. I'm so happy to be sitting over here while you drive."

"Me too. Baby alright?"

"Yes, he was just two weeks early and everything went fine once it really got going but it took a while. Thank you for taking me this weekend Jethro."

"You're welcome. Now, why don't you put the seat back and just relax. You need to get some sleep since I'm sure you won't get much once you get to the hospital."

"That's for sure."

Ana reclined the seat back and relaxed. Jethro reached into the back seat and pulled out a lightweight blanket and handed it to her.

"Here, this will feel good and help you relax."

Ana smiled at him and covered herself up. "This is perfect. Thanks."

Jethro watched her get settled then he reached over and took her hand. He laced their fingers together and Ana fell asleep with Jethro holding her hand. Jethro sighed and gave himself a mental headslap but he didn't let go of her hand. It was a little over two hundred miles from El Rosario to San Diego and Jethro knew he couldn't hold her hand the entire way but he'd hold on as long as possible. In the middle of the night he'd awakened with the very clear realization that after this weekend he might very well never see Ana again. That bothered him a lot and the fact that it bothered him so much worried and confused him. Jethro would give almost anything for some clarity about his future and his feelings. For now though he would just enjoy the feel of Ana's hand in his.

When she woke up just over an hour later, Jethro was still holding Ana's hand. She looked over at him and when she shifted Jethro released her hand so she could adjust the seat and get comfortable.

"Gosh, how long have I been asleep?"

"Bout an hour."

"Where are we?"

"I have no idea. I'm just following the road."

Ana laughed and looked around at their surroundings. There wasn't much to see in this area but she knew they were still nearly three hours from their destination.

"I can't believe you made this trip once a month. This is not an easy drive."

"No, it isn't. I can't believe you're doing this and then going back and leaving again the next day. You're crazy!"

"Probably. Why did you keep going to San Diego to work anyway?"

"I needed the money for the clinic. I was trying to save enough to get the contractor back. Then you came along and saved me. Plus, I enjoy emergency medicine. It's what I really wanted to do when I went to med school. I took over the clinic when Uncle Jose got sick and I've been there ever since."

"Then I hope you get to go back to emergency medicine some day. You should do what you love doing. And by the way, I think what really happened was you saved me. And maybe Mike too. If I hadn't had something to do these last few months I don't know what would have happened."

Ana was quiet for a moment then she said, "You'd probably be home already. Back to your marriage and your life. I feel like I've kept you away longer than…."

Jethro interrupted, "No. I made that choice and I'm not one bit sorry I stayed. Just put that out of your pretty head. I needed all this time to figure out what I wanted."

"And have you done that?"

Jethro looked over at her and met her gaze. "Not really. I want to say something and I don't want you to interrupt. Okay?"

Very quietly Ana said, "yes."

"I have feelings for you that I don't quite understand. I love Jenny and I want us to work out our problems but I care for you Ana in a way I didn't think I could. I have no right to say that since I'm leaving but there it is. It hurts me to leave you and it hurts me to know I'm hurting you."

Ana wiped tears from her eyes. She looked out the window for a minute then turned her attention back to Jethro.

"Thank you for telling me that. You and I were not meant to be that's all. I care about you Jethro, very much. I want only for you to be happy. I will be sad when you leave but that is not your fault. Or mine. It's just the way things are. I'm a realist; I can see how things are and deal with it and that's what I will do. I will miss you terribly but I will survive. To do otherwise would be to disrespect the feelings we have for each other. I want you to promise me you will be happy. You will let yourself be happy again with your Jenny."

"I'm going to try my best. I promise."

They were quiet for a while both lost in their own thoughts. Jethro kept coming back in his mind to Jenny. He couldn't imagine what was going on with her that she wouldn't even talk to him anymore. Whatever it was he would deal with it in a few days. He felt that familiar ache for her that had been so much a part of him for the last six months. Whatever he was feeling for Ana it did not compare to the overwhelming love he had for his wife. He missed her desperately and even though he was anxious about what was going on he was also certain he could fix whatever needed fixing. He just needed to see her and hold her and everything would be alright.

Ana dozed on and off for the next hour and when she woke up she was hungry. She looked around as they drove on and realized they were near a little town where they could get a good meal.

"I'm starving. The next town has a good café where we could eat and also a gas station if we need that."

"Sounds good. I'm hungry too. Just tell me when."

As they sat in the small café waiting for their food Jethro asked Ana to tell him about herself.

"How did you wind up back in El Rosario. I mean I know about your uncle but didn't you live in San Diego as a kid?"

"Yes, I was born and raised there. We only visited Jose and my aunt once in a while when I was little. Then, when my father died my mother took me there more often. She was so lonesome for a while that she needed her family. I was almost fourteen when my dad died and spending so much time with Jose showed me I wanted to be a doctor."

"What happened to your dad?"

"He had cancer. They found it late and he only lived about seven months after he was diagnosed."

"That's what happened with my mom. In fact I was fourteen when she died."

"How did you wind up working for Mike?"

Before he could answer their food was delivered and Jethro was awarded a few minutes to figure out how much to tell Ana about his past.

"It's sort of a long story. Let's eat and I'll tell you all about it while we drive."

"Okay."

Jethro seemed to withdraw into himself and Ana wondered if she'd ask the wrong question somehow. She decided to let it go and if Jethro didn't want to talk about himself that was okay. They finished lunch and Jethro went across the street to fill up the truck while Ana went to the ladies room then bought them some water and a candy bar each. She was anxious to get to the hospital so she would have time for a shower and a decent nap before she had to start her twenty-four hour shift early the next morning. As they settled back in the truck and headed north, Ana decided not to bring up her earlier question. As it turned out though she didn't need to; Jethro started talking as soon as they were on the highway.

"A long time ago when I was in the Marine Corps I was married. Her name was Shannon. We had a little girl, Kelly. When I went to Kuwait for Desert Storm they were in San Diego because I deployed from Pendleton. Anyway, Shannon saw a drug dealer kill a guy and she was set to testify when the dealer had her killed. They shot the NCIS agent who was driving them and Shannon and Kelly died in the wreck."

Jethro stopped and took some deep breaths. Ana reached for his hand and held on. She didn't say anything which Jethro appreciated. She knew there was more to come.

"I came home of course and Mike was the agent investigating the murders. The dealer got off and disappeared into Mexico. He was later killed there. I was a wreck as you can probably imagine. Eventually I left the Corps and went to work for Mike. It was a little different back then as far as getting on at NCIS. Anyway, that's how we met. He took me under his wing and pretty much kept me on the right track especially for that first year or so."

"Well no wonder you two are so tight. I'm so sorry about your family, Jethro. You felt responsible didn't you?"

Jethro looked over at her and it dawned on him that she knew him better than he realized.

"Oh yeah. For years and years I blamed myself. There was nothing I could have done but that didn't matter. I'd say I still feel a little bit responsible. Jenny would say I'm very overprotective of her as a result. She's probably right."

"So did Jenny work for Mike too?"

"No, thank god! They don't really get along but that's another story. I was working in DC when Jenny was assigned to be my partner on an undercover assignment in Europe. We were gone for over two years and that's when we fell in love. But, like I told you, she didn't want to be tied down on my team or in DC so she left me in Paris."

"Well, I guess if you're going to get dumped Paris would be the place to be."

Jethro looked a her and saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. She was trying to lighten the mood and it worked.

"I didn't exactly see it that way at the time. I came back to DC and she went on with her career overseas mostly. Then one day I turned around and she was back and giving me orders."

"That must have been a shock."

"It damn sure was. But after about three months we managed to get ourselves together and the rest as they say is history."

"So, NCIS was okay with you being married to your boss?"

"Actually they didn't know for almost a year. We got married in Puerto Rico and didn't tell anyone. It was pretty common gossip that we were an item but no one knew it officially. We figured if we could keep the work going without any problems for a while we could use that in our argument when we told the bosses we were married. And it worked. SecNav wasn't happy but he adjusted."

"My goodness you are full of interesting stories."

"Oh you have no idea."

They both laughed and that was the end of talking for a while. Jethro felt good about telling Ana about Shannon and Kelly. Even though he rarely told anyone that story, for some reason he wanted Ana to know about his family. There was very little traffic and even though the highway wasn't exactly up to US standards it was adequate and they were making good time. Ana was scheduled to start a twenty-four hour shift at six on Saturday morning. Jethro was going to spend Saturday with Mark and his wife. Without asking her, Jethro had booked them two rooms at a nice hotel near the hospital. He was pretty sure Ana normally spent the night at the hospital in a spare room but he wanted to treat her to a nice hotel room this time.

The rest of the trip was full of easy conversation, Ana laughing at Jethro's stories about Mike and some comfortable silences. Jethro, normally very guarded with other people felt completely at ease with Ana and she with him. Of course the elephant in the room, or in this case in the truck, was that Ana was in love with Jethro and he was in love with Jenny. Wisely they avoided that topic. Jethro was an expert at shoving feelings into a place where they didn't intrude on his life and Ana was quickly learning to do the same with her feelings for Jethro. At least she was trying. For the next few hours she was going to indulge her feelings and enjoy being with the most desirable, sweetest, sexiest man she'd ever met.

Ana fell asleep about thirty minutes before they reached the border. When Jethro got in line at the crossing she woke up surprised they were already there.

"We made it."

"Was that ever in doubt?"

Ana laughed. "No, I'm just always relieved to be here. This trip seems to take forever."

"Well, this is the last one for you right?"

"Yes, probably for while anyway. In the summer I come up to fill in for people sometimes. I'm not sure I'll do it this year though."

"Maybe you could take this summer off and enjoy your new clinic and some time off on weekends."

"Yes, I might do that."

Soon they were through the checkpoint and headed into San Diego. Ana gave Jethro directions to the hospital and he went along as if he didn't know where he was going. Unbeknownst to Ana, he had already checked out the hospital location when he decided to get them hotel rooms. When she told him to turn right to go to the hospital he instead went straight another block.

"Jethro, you missed the turn."

"Nope, we're not going to the hospital yet."

"I'm sorry I guess I didn't tell you but I have a room there. I spend the night there."

"Not this time. I got us rooms at the Marriott and we're staying there tonight."

Ana looked over at him, opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Jethro laughed, "Don't worry, I got you your own room."

Still Ana didn't say anything. Her mind was racing with delicious scenarios that she knew were totally inappropriate and impossible but she still let them play out in her mind.

"I just wanted you to have some relaxing downtime. So, you can soak in the tub and have room service or do whatever you want. Then in the morning I'll take you to the hospital. Okay?"

"Yes, very okay. Thank you. What a wonderful surprise and treat!"

Jethro smiled at her very pleased he had managed to surprise her and make her happy with one small gesture. The real truth was he had thought long and hard about getting one or two rooms and his initial preference had been for one. But, he knew that would be a mistake and unfair to Ana so he got two instead. There was a tiny little voice in the very back of his mind that said he could always just use one if that's how things went. Jethro ignored that voice. He would be back home in a few days; back with Jenny where he belonged. Sharing a room and a bed with her. No way was he going to compromise that now. And no way would he use Ana to soothe the emptiness he felt from being away from home so long.

When they got to the hotel Jethro checked them in then drove around to the back entrance and they went inside. They had rooms on the fifth floor so they got in the elevator and headed up. Ana was suddenly nervous. Jethro seemed to pick up on that and made sure not to stand too close to her. When they arrived on the fifth floor Jethro gave her the key card to her room which was right next to his.

"Would you like to go to dinner somewhere tonight?"

"I didn't bring anything to wear except what you see and my scrubs."

Jethro pointed to his jeans and said, "This is all I have but I know a great steak place where we'll fit right in. Whadda ya say?"

"That sounds wonderful. What time?"

"Let's go early so you can get some sleep tonight. Six okay?"

Ana looked at her watch and saw it was just before five o'clock.

"Yes, that would work. I'll meet you right back here at six."

"Perfect."

They went to their separate rooms and each tried unsuccessfully to relax. The attraction between them was so strong it was getting difficult for Ana to keep her hands to herself. Jethro kept telling himself he was going home to his wife in two days and he absolutely would not do anything that hurt Ana or jeopardized his reunion with Jenny. Regardless of what Jenny had done and all the time they'd been apart, Jethro was still married and he would not cheat on his wife. Even if his wife had refused to speak to him for two months. He had never lied to Jenny and he would not do anything with Ana that meant he'd have to lie to her now.

Dinner was relaxed and fun and both of them had a good time. By the time they left the restaurant Ana knew without a doubt that she was in love with a man who was still in love with his wife and soon would be gone home to her. She told herself it was like med school; she just had to put her head down and plow through the hard days. Now she just had to survive the rest of the evening and the drive home on Sunday. After that she could fall apart in the privacy of her own home and lose herself in her work. She knew she would most likely be coming to San Diego for weekends for a long time; she couldn't stand the idea of sitting at home on weekends with nothing to do but miss Jethro. All these things were going through her mind on the drive back to hotel and she didn't realize they had arrived until Jethro touched her arm.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry I just zoned out. That was a wonderful meal. Thank you again."

"My pleasure. Now, you should go soak in a hot bath and get some sleep."

"I think you're right."

They parted in the hallway but before she went in her room Ana turned to Jethro and reached for his hand. She pulled him close and stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss. Jethro hesitated only a millisecond before wrapping her in his arms and kissing her back. He opened his mouth to her and before he knew it she was devouring him. Jethro tightened his hold on her and backed her against the door. Before he completely lost himself in her though he forced himself to back off. He rested his forehead on the wall next to her head and his hands found hers at his sides.

"I can't do this Ana. I'm sorry. I want you so much but I can't let this happen."

Ana tried to breathe and not let tears fall but it was no use.

"I know. I shouldn't have done that but I just wanted one more kiss. I'm sorry, Jethro."

"No, don't say that. You have no idea what it means to me that you want me. I wish I could give us both what we want but I can't betray my marriage. Not when there's still a chance to fix things."

"I know. Dammit, I know!"

"Hey, come on. Let's go in."

"No, you better go to your own room. I don't trust myself. Let me work this out, Jethro."

"Okay. What time do you need to leave for the hospital?"

"I need to be there about six o'clock in the morning. I could take a cab. You don't need to get up that early."

"I'll be up and I'll take you. Night Ana."

"Goodnight Jethro."

Reluctantly, Jethro let her go and Ana slid the key card in the lock and disappeared into her room. Jethro stood there looking at the door and wishing he wasn't so damned determined to honor his marriage vows. The little voice asked him what difference it would make now and he didn't have an answer so he went to his room and took a cold shower.

Jethro sat on the bed reading and not watching the television that was running just for noise. He fell asleep about eleven o'clock. Ana did soak in the tub for a long time then she fell right to sleep at ten thirty. When Jethro's phone started buzzing at him he almost didn't hear it in time. When he answered without noting who was calling he, of course, had no idea his life was about to change dramatically. Again.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Betrayal**

Chapter 10

 _When he answered without noting who was calling he of course had no idea his life was about to change dramatically. Again._

"Yeah, it's Gibbs."

"Jethro, it's Ducky."

Jethro was immediately wide awake because somehow he knew Ducky wasn't calling to wish him a Happy New Year.

"Jethro you need to come home."

"I am coming home on Monday. Should be there by…."

"No, you need to come now! Jenny's in hospital. You need to get here."

"What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know for sure. I just got a call from Georgetown University Hospital telling me Jenny was there. I have no other information except that you need to get here."

Jethro was already putting his clothes on and gathering what few belongings he had in the room. His mind was spinning but years of crisis training let him stay relatively calm.

"Was she in an accident? Is she sick?"

"I'm sorry Jethro I just don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone. When can you be here?"

"I'm in San Diego so I'll get a flight tonight. I'll call you when I know something."

"Good. I'll see if I can find out what's going on and call you back."

"Thanks Duck."

Jethro had to think for a moment. He needed a plane ticket. He needed to tell Ana what was happening. Jethro called down to the desk and told the young woman working what he needed and she said she could take care of it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd made a plane reservation for himself and he didn't want to figure it all out now. Next he went to Ana's room and knocked on the door. Ana answered quickly and peered out at him with sleepy eyes. She opened the door and he stepped inside.

"Sorry to wake you. Look, Ducky just called me and said Jenny's in the hospital and I need to get home now. Here are the keys to the truck. You drive it home and leave it with Mike. Ask him to take my tools out of the back and keep them safe. You use the truck any time you need it."

He was talking so fast and was so obviously agitated that Ana almost couldn't keep up with him. Luckily, she too was trained to stay calm I a crisis.

"Jethro, take a breath. Do you have a plane reservation?"

"The girl at the desk is getting it for me."

"Okay. What else did Ducky say?"

"He doesn't know anything. Said he got a call from the hospital and they told him I needed to get there. That's all he said."

"That seems odd. Why didn't they just call you directly?"

"I don't know."

Just then his phone buzzed. It was the front desk.

"Mr. Gibbs you're booked on the flight that leaves at one twenty arriving in DC at eight thirty tomorrow morning. A cab will be waiting for you out front."

"Thank you."

"I gotta go. One more thing, could you call my friend Mark, here's his card, and tell him what happened and I'll call him sometime. I'm sorry to just run out on you like this. I wanted us to have a little more time. To talk things out. Or….I don't know what exactly."

Ana reached for him and wrapped her arms around him. His heart was racing and Ana knew he was near panic. Her heart ached for him and how scared he was in that moment.

"Jethro, it's okay. Listen to me. Go home to your wife and take care of her. That is where you belong and she is who you belong with. Remember one thing, you are loved here. You are a good man; the best I've ever known and you deserve all the happiness you can find. Go on now, I'll take care of the truck and let Mike know what's happened. Let him know what's going on when you can."

"I will. Thank you Ana, for everything. You are very important to me."

Ana kissed him on the cheek and pushed him out the door.

As he stepped into the elevator he heard her say, "I love you." Then he was gone.

The cab was at the front door. Jethro made sure the rooms and the flight were on his credit card, thanked the young lady at the desk and went out into the night. On the way to the airport he dug his shaving kit out of his bag and found his wedding ring. He'd taken it off months ago and put it in there for safekeeping. Now he slipped it on his finger and closed his eyes in a silent prayer that his Jenny was alright.

While he waited at the gate Jethro called Ducky but got no answer. He left a message with his arrival time. The plane left on time and soon Jethro was on his way home. His mind was reeling with possibilities as to what could be going on with Jenny. He couldn't understand why Ducky had been called but he guessed that didn't matter. Jethro forced himself to quiet his mind and eventually he fell asleep as the plane sped eastward. With another hour to go in the flight Jethro woke up worrying. His gut was churning with dread and somehow he knew whatever had happened was deadly serious. He began right then blaming himself for being gone so long. For leaving in the first place. He told himself he never should have left; it was all about his pride. He should have at least talked to Jenny and given her a chance. As he stared out the window he felt like the future he had envisioned was slipping through his fingers. Finally, when he thought he was going to lose his mind, they began their descent.

As soon as they landed Jethro checked his phone for a message from Ducky. Naturally the damn thing was dead. Jethro so rarely used the phone these days he had forgotten to charge it before he left Mike's and now it was stone cold dead. It didn't matter really. He was headed to the hospital anyway and soon enough he'd know what was going on. God how he hated hospitals. Well, he'd find out what was wrong with Jenny, they'd fix it and then the two of them would start over. Seldom had Jethro been so wrong.

It was just after eight-thirty in the morning when they landed. Jethro quickly got through the terminal and out to the taxi line. Within minutes he was on his way to the hospital. Once he got out of the taxi he realized he had no idea where in the hospital to go. He found the information desk and asked for Jenny's room. The volunteer found her name and told Jethro to go to the sixth floor and ask for Dr. Rodgers. Riding up in the elevator Jethro told himself to be calm and patient. He reminded himself the people there were helping Jenny and he needed to be nice to them. He hated hospitals and wasn't too fond of most doctors. That reminded him of Ana and he vowed to be nice.

When he got to the sixth floor Jethro found Ducky waiting for him in the lobby. This was not a patient floor; all Jethro saw were offices with their doors closed.

"Ah Jethro, I'm glad you're here."

"What's goin' on Duck? Where's Jenny?"

"I'm afraid I don't know much at all. Come with me to the doctor's office and we'll find out together."

"I want to see Jenny first."

Just then a tall, well built man about Jethro's age stepped up and stood very close to Jethro.

"Agent Gibbs, I'm Dr. Rodgers. Please come with me and I'll tell you what's going on with your wife."

"I want to see her first," Jethro insisted.

"Agent Gibbs, she's sleeping right now. And, she asked me to talk to you first before you see her. I know you're probably confused and obviously concerned. Please, come with me. You too Dr. Mallard."

Jethro felt his temper building and he forced himself to follow Dr. Rodgers down the hallway to his office. Now he was really scared.

When the three men reached the office Dr. Rogers let Jethro and Ducky precede him then he closed the door. He sat in a chair in front of his desk and signaled for Jethro and Ducky to take the couch across from him.

"I've been on a plane all night. I'll stand."

"That's fine. Would you like some coffee, Agent Gibbs?"

"No thanks. And it's just Gibbs. I'm not an agent anymore."

"Alright let's get to it. I have a lot of information to give you and some of what I'm going to tell you will be difficult for you to hear. Please bear with me. First of all I have been your wife's doctor for the last five months. She has given me her permission to share anything and everything with you and with Dr. Mallard. I know about your separation and the fact that Jenny has not talked to you for several months."

"Doctor what the hell is wrong with my wife? Why am I here and why is she here?"

"Two days ago your wife delivered a healthy baby boy. You have a son, Mr. Gibbs."

Jethro was speechless. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face the doctor. He was instantly overjoyed and furious at the same time. How could Jenny have kept that from him? Why? Then it hit him.

"Are you sure it's mine? If you know so much about us I assume you know why we're separated. Is she sure this is my baby?"

"Yes, she is. And, in order to make sure you were sure we did DNA testing and the child is most definitely yours. He is perfectly healthy if a little small. He was about three weeks early."

Jethro was confused. Jenny had been pregnant all this time and now she'd had the baby and it was his so what was the big mystery? There was more to the story obviously.

"What else Doctor?"

"Please sit down Gibbs. This is the part that will be hard to hear."

Jethro finally sat down next to Ducky who put a calming hand on his arm.

"When your wife was just entering her second trimester of the pregnancy she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. She refused any and all treatment in favor of trying to take the baby to term. She succeeded in that endeavor but of course that means her cancer has progressed unchecked for the last five months."

Jethro felt like he'd been hit by a truck. He felt like he couldn't breathe. There was a tightness in his chest and he thought for a moment he was having a heart attack. Then the doctor's words sank in and tears filled his eyes. From the joy and anger of the birth announcement to this horrible news Jethro felt like he was under attack from all sides. He suddenly stood up and paced around the room.

"So what are you doing about the cancer? What treatment is she getting?"

He tried to keep the panic and anger out of his voice but he doubted he'd been successful. Dr. Rodgers didn't seemed phased however.

"I'm afraid there is really nothing we can do at this stage. Your wife's decision to forego treatment until the birth pretty much meant there would be no treatment later. As I said this is a very aggressive type of cancer and it was not discovered early. It was already fairly widespread when the diagnosis was made. I sincerely doubt any treatment would have resulted in a good outcome. As it is, Jenny saved your child with her decision."

Jethro bent over, his hands on his knees and tried to breathe normally. He wanted to cry. When Ducky went to him and put his arm around Jethro's shoulders the tears came and there was nothing he could do to stop them. After a few moments Jethro stood up and went back to the couch. Ducky sat next to him stunned at this horrible news.

"Why didn't she tell me?" It was all Jethro could manage to ask even though he had so many more questions.

"She told me she was waiting until her second trimester to tell you about the baby just to be sure everything was alright. Then when she got the diagnosis before she could tell you she decided to wait. I think perhaps she should explain her reasons herself. I'm very sorry to give you this news. I want you to know that Jenny has done a remarkable job of maintaining her health for the safety of your son. She had a choice to make months ago and she chose your baby over her own chance at some extra time."

"And there's nothing you can do for her now? There has to be something. Aren't you guys finding new stuff all the time?"

"Yes we are but in your wife's case there is nothing new to be used. Her cancer is advanced and progressing."

"How long?"

"Best case a year. More likely six to nine months. I don't normally like to guess but I'd say that's the most we can hope for."

Jethro leaned back and covered his face with his hands. He felt sick to his stomach and he desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Neither the doctor or Ducky said anything for a long time. Ducky was processing his own shock and grief and searching for some way to help his friend.

"Jethro, perhaps you would like to see your son."

Slowly Jethro sat up and wiped his eyes. He took some deep breaths and stood up.

"Yes, I would like to see my son and then I want to see my wife. When can they go home?"

"Jenny needs to stay here three days or so. The baby was taken by cesarean section so Jenny needs time to recover from that surgery. And, I want to monitor her to see how her body responds to no longer carrying a fetus. The baby could go home before that but I think we'd like to keep him here with his mother. If that's alright with you of course."

"Yeah that's fine. Can I hold him?"

"Yes, he's not in any distress. He's just a bit small but his breathing is fine and he's in good health. Come on, let's go see him."

In a daze, Jethro and Ducky followed Dr. Rodgers to the elevator and up to the eighth floor where the nursery was located. After donning a gown Jethro was led into the room and a nurse directed him to a small alcove where there was a rocking chair. In just a moment she handed him his son wrapped in a soft cotton blanket and wearing a matching cap. Jethro was overwhelmed and couldn't stop the tears that fell. The nurse, seeing his distress and knowing about the mother's condition handed him a tissue and gave him an encouraging smile.

"He's perfect in every way. He weighed in at five pounds seven ounces and he's twenty inches long. He's a good eater and he loves to be held."

Jethro was afraid to try and speak knowing he was about to cry. Instead he held out his hand to the nurse and she grasped his.

"You take all the time you want. Let me know if you need anything or have any questions."

"What's his name?"

"His mother said she'd wait for you to name him. She told us to call him Baby Gibbs for now."

Jethro smiled. That sounded right. The nurse went back to her duties and Jethro held his son up and kissed him on the head. Then he carefully unwrapped him and checked him over head to toe. As he was getting him wrapped back up the nurse came over and asked if he'd give the baby some skin-to-skin time.

"If you will take off your jacket and shirt we can lay Baby Gibbs on your chest. It's really helpful in bonding and given your circumstances I think it would be good for you to do this as well as his mother who has already had the opportunity."

"Yes, I want to do that."

Jethro quickly shed the gown, his jacket and shirt and the nurse handed him the baby. Jethro's big hand engulfed his son's tiny body and held him firmly against dad's warm chest. Jethro flashed back to the times he used to hold Kelly like this and they would fall asleep together. There was no better feeling in the world.

"I see you've done this before. Right?"

"Yes, I had a daughter a long time ago."

"He will be ready to eat in about fifteen minutes so if he starts to fuss that's why. My name is Lisa. You let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you Lisa."

Jethro held his son and rocked and tried very had not to be angry at the baby's mother. He couldn't begin to imagine why she kept all this from him. He should have been here with her, helping her and taking care of her. He forced himself to put all that aside and focus on the here and now. Focus on his son. When the baby began to root around and fuss, Jethro signaled to Lisa who brought him a bottle. She held the baby while Jethro pulled his shirt on then handed the baby and the bottle to dad.

"Could my friend come in? He's a doctor and I need to talk to him."

"Yes, I'll get him."

Jethro cradled the baby in the crook of his arm and gave him the bottle. His son stared up at him with newborn blue eyes and Jethro was once again overcome with emotion. He had thought his parenting days were long over and now in this the cruel twist of fate he had a son who would soon have no mother. He and Jenny had tried for years to get pregnant and finally had given up and accepted their lives would be without children. And now they had a son.

Ducky stepped in and watched his friend with the baby. He was struck by the cruelty of the situation as well as the joy that he knew Jethro and Jenny both felt at having a child together.

"Ah, Jethro what a beautiful sight you two are."

"Duck I don't understand what happened. Why in god's name didn't she call me? I would have been here. She had to know that. I told her I loved her and wanted us to work things out. Why keep all this to herself? And where has she been all this time?"

"I can't answer the why questions but I can tell you what Dr. Rodgers told me. Jenny has been in Boston almost the entire time. She was under the care of a specialist who monitored the pregnancy and the cancer and helped Jenny bring the baby to term. I suspect her stubbornness and independence got the best of her and she didn't want to have you back simply to care for her. I don't know, Jethro and I doubt she really does either. She made decisions under a lot of pressure and stress and perhaps she made the wrong choice. I urge you however to focus on the here and now. Focus on this precious child and whatever time you and Jenny have left together."

"I will. It just hurts to know I was in Mexico all this time miserable without her and I should have been here taking care of her."

"Jethro, you both made decisions you may regret now but as you well know, the past can't be changed."

"Yeah, I know."

They sat in silence, Jethro watching his son eagerly consume the formula. When the baby was finished eating, Jethro expertly put him on his shoulder and patted his back until the baby burped.

"Good boy", he whispered to his son.

"Jethro, I'll give you some time alone. When you're ready we'll go see Jenny and you can start the healing process you two need."

"Okay. Listen, Duck, thank you for being here. It helps."

"There is no other place I could be now. You and Jennifer are very important to me Jethro and I'm very sorry for your troubles."

"I know Duck. Thanks. I'll be out in a few minutes."

When Ducky had left Jethro cradled his son and brushed his baby soft cheeks with his finger marveling at the miracle he was holding.

"I love you little boy. Your mom loves you. I promise I'll always take care of you and protect you and love you no matter what happens. I love you so much."

The baby blinked his dark blue eyes twice at his daddy and then fell sound asleep. Jethro held him up and kissed his cheek. He took a moment to savor the sweet smell of his baby boy then he stood up to find Lisa and return the baby to her to her safekeeping.

"I'll be back."

"We can bring the baby to mom's room when you're ready. We actually will leave him with you as much as you want us to."

"That'll be fine. I just need some time first to…"

Lisa gripped his arm, "I know. You take your time and have one of her nurses call us when you're ready."

"Thank you."

Jethro gave his son one last kiss and handed him over. Ducky was waiting for him and together they walked down the hall to find Jenny's room. The they arrived outside the correct room, Jethro stopped.

Ducky waited then said, "Go on Jethro. I'll be here if you need me. She's waiting for you I'm sure."

Jethro took a deep breath and looked at Ducky. For the first time in all the years he'd known him Ducky saw fear on his friend's face.

"Jethro, don't worry. Dr. Rodgers said she's anxious to see you and she's feeling pretty well. She's your Jenny; the same woman you've loved all these years. Go to her and don't waste another precious minute."

Jethro nodded and gave a soft knock on the door to alert Jenny he was coming him. Then he walked through the door to begin another difficult chapter in his life.

Jenny was sitting up in the bed nervously flipping through pages of a magazine waiting for Jethro to arrive. Dr. Rodgers had been in and told her he was in the hospital. For days Jenny had been anticipating this reunion and rehearsing over and over in her head what she would say to Jethro when she saw him. Now that he was standing just three feet away she couldn't find her voice. The last few months had been such a terrible struggle and she had been so lonesome for him that many days she reached for the phone to call him to come home. But she had never made that call and now she wondered how he would react. She knew him as well as anyone and she knew he would be angry at least at first. His instinct to protect her had been thwarted and now she would have to answer for that.

To her surprise Jethro seemed as anxious as she felt. When he finally moved to her bedside she saw tears in his eyes and she held out her hands beckoning him to her. Jethro carefully sat on the side of the bed and Jenny wrapped her arms around him as he embraced her. They held each other and cried together but neither of them spoke. The relief they each felt in holding the other was immense. The anger Jethro thought he had dissolved in his tears and Jenny's fear of rejection was washed away. Nothing seemed to matter in those first emotional moments except that they were back in each other's arms.

Jenny smoothed her hands up and down his back and realized that he was just in the initial hours of dealing with her diagnosis. She had had months to get used to the idea but it was all new for Jethro. Remembering him talking about his mother dying reminded her that Jethro had been through this ordeal before. She had come to terms with her future, or lack thereof, but he hadn't time to do that yet.

Finally, Jethro pulled back and sat up. He wiped her tears away and leaned in to kiss her. It was a soft, delicious kiss that told her everything she needed to know. Jethro loved her and he was back. She felt whole again.

"Have you seen him? Isn't he perfect?"

"He is. He is the most perfect thing I've ever seen."

"Jethro I know you have a dozen questions and I want to try and answer them. I owe you some explanations."

"Jen, all I care about is now. We can talk about all that later if you want to but honestly, it doesn't matter. We both made decisions in haste and maybe we made some of them wrong. I don't care about that now. I care about you and our son and what we're going to do next."

"I just need to say that I never intended to keep the pregnancy from you. Not in the beginning. I wanted to wait and make sure everything was alright and then the cancer showed up and I just didn't want you come back just to take care of me. I missed you every day and I questioned myself every day. I'm sorry, Jethro."

"It's alright Jen. I should have come home a long time ago. I let my pride get in the way of us and I'm sorry. Let's just focus on our son and our lives."

"I want that more than anything. We have to talk about the future Jethro, about my cancer and what's going to happen."

"Can we do that tomorrow? We have something more important to do right now."

"What's that?"

"We need to give that little boy a name."

Jenny laughed and the sound of it was music to Jethro's ears. God how he'd missed that sound. He kissed her again and ran his fingers through her hair.

"I've missed doing that. I've missed you Jen. I love you. I'm sorry I left and stayed gone so long."

"No more apologies. We're going forward now. So, I have a name I'd like to use but I want you to have a say of course."

"What's your choice?"

"Matthew. It means…."

"A gift from God. Yes, that's perfect."

"How do you know that?"

Jethro didn't answer right away and Jenny knew, "That was a name you and Shannon liked, right?"

"Yes. It was our choice if Kelly had been a boy."

"Then it is doubly perfect. Okay, you pick the middle name."

"Donald. Matthew Donald Gibbs. How about that?"

"Oh yes, I like it. What a wonderful idea."

"Dr. Rodgers told me what you did to give our son a chance. Jen I don't know what to say."

"You would do the same thing Jethro. Without even thinking about it you would give your life for our child. There was really no question."

"Jen, I …."

She stopped him with a gentle kiss.

"I know. It takes some getting used to. This is all new for you babe, but we'll work it out. You and I can do anything together. I'm glad you're home."

"Me too. Ducky's outside. Would you like to see him?"

"Yes, I would."

Jethro kissed her again and reluctantly let go of her hand. Jenny straightened herself out and wiped her eyes again. She had thought months ago she'd cried all the tears she'd ever have but that had proven untrue of course.

Ducky stepped in the room and Jenny felt more tears coming at the sight of their dear friend. Ducky had been the first to know of their love affair in Europe and the first to know of their marriage. He had kept their confidence for months and months. His counsel was invaluable to both Jenny and Jethro and Jenny loved him almost as much as she loved her husband.

"Jenny my dear you look splendid. That baby of yours is the cutest ever."

"Thank you Ducky. He is wonderful isn't he?"

"Indeed."

"We've finally named him. Tell him Jethro."

"His name is Matthew Donald."

Ducky was taken aback. "Oh my goodness. What an honor. And Matthew; how appropriate. Thank you very much. I am touched beyond words."

"Ducky thank you for getting Jethro here. Dr. Rodgers told me what happened."

"What did happen? Why didn't the hospital call me? Or you, Jen why didn't you call me?"

"My phone is in Boston or somewhere. I have no idea really. And of course I didn't have the number written down anywhere; it was only on the damn phone. Apparently in my records showing you as the emergency contact they have your old number. Ducky was next on the list."

"Oh. Makes sense."

"How long have you been here?"

"Just since the day before Matthew was born. I came down for a checkup and Dr. Rodger insisted the baby needed to come. So…here we are."

There was a long silence with Jethro wanting to ask so many questions and Jenny waiting for him to sort them out in his mind. Ducky watched them and waited.

Ignoring what Dr. Rodgers had told him, Jethro asked, "I know I said we'd talk about this tomorrow but I need to know what we're going to do. About the cancer I mean. What treatments and stuff are we going to do?"

"None is the short answer."

Jethro started to speak and Jenny silenced him with two fingers on his lips.

"No, Jethro this time you will have to listen. You have to trust me on this. I have explored every single option, talked to lots of doctors and read lots of studies. There is simply nothing we can do to significantly extend my life. If I had not been pregnant I could have had some aggressive, awful treatments that would have given me maybe another year. I would have been sick a lot of that time. You know from when your mom was sick that sometimes the treatment makes you feel worse than the disease. If it's going to help in the long run that's acceptable but in this case it just won't."

"She's right Jethro. I've talked this over with Dr. Rodgers and I'm afraid I have to agree with Jenny. Hard as it is to accept there is simply nothing to be done."

Jethro stood up and walked over to the window. He kept thinking about the months he'd been gone. If Jenny had less than a year to live he'd wasted the equivalent of half that time in Mexico. In his mind he saw his mother dying before his young eyes and he wondered how he'd ever be able to watch the woman he loved more than life itself slowly die. And how would he raise Matthew without Jenny there?

"Jethro, we'll be alright."

Jenny's voice was soft but determined and Jethro turned around and looked at her. She was much stronger than anyone would guess looking at her. That had served her well in her career; people underestimated her at their own peril and plenty of bad guys and politicians alike had learned that the hard way. Somehow Jethro knew, he'd have to be strong too but at the moment it was too much and everything he'd learned in the last hour or so came crashing down on him. He'd held it together as long as he could and knowing what lay ahead for them was too much.

In a voice full of anguish and despair and tears he cried, "I know but it's so unfair. We tried so hard for a baby and now we have one and….it's just not fair. I wasted all this time, months and months that we'll never get back. I don't want this to be true. I don't want it!"

Jethro just stood there with tears streaming down his face and Jenny was powerless to help him. She couldn't get out of bed to comfort him and it was killing her. She'd gone through all this already, many times over and she knew exactly what Jethro was feeling. It crushed her to see him so distraught.

Ducky went to Jethro and taking him by the arm led him over to the bedside where he sat down and collapsed in Jenny's arms. She held him and rocked them back and forth constantly telling him she loved him and that they would be alright. After several minutes Jethro seemed to relax and his breathing evened out. Jenny rubbed his back and kissed the side of his head. Ducky slipped out of the room to give them some privacy.

"It's a lot to take in I know. I've had a long time to get my mind around this and still some days I can't accept it. But, babe, we have to accept it and deal with it and embrace what time we have. I want as much time with our son as I can get. I don't want to waste one single day being angry or despairing about what I can't change. I want every day I can have with the only man I've ever loved."

Jethro sat back and scrubbed his hands over his face. His blue eyes that Jenny loved so much were full of pain and sadness but she saw the love he had for her in there too. She had spent many, many weeks punishing herself for hurting this man and now she had him back and was going to leave him too soon. She had to tell him how sorry she was and get that out of the way.

"Jethro, I have one thing I must say and then I want us to move only forward. I am deeply sorry for hurting you by having that stupid affair."

"Jen, you don't…."

"Yes, I do. I was stupid and selfish and I did a despicable thing to you that I have regretted every day since. I have loved you since the day I laid eyes on you the very first time and that has never changed. Every day I worked for you and every day I was away from you I loved you. Every day I have been your boss and your wife I have loved you. I do not deserve your forgiveness but, please, Jethro can you forgive me?"

"Yes. I did a long time ago. I love you Jenny. I never stopped loving you and I never will. We never need to speak of this again. I'm the luckiest man alive to have you loving me. I won't ever forget that."

They held each other for a few minutes then a light knocking sounded at the door. The door inched open and in came Ducky pushing Matthew in a bassinet.

"This little one is lonesome for his parents."

Jenny's face lit up and Jethro went to pick up his son. He turned and handed the baby to Jenny and sat beside them. Watching Jenny with their child was a beautiful sight Jethro had never expected to see.

"The nurses said everything he needs is on the shelf here below his bed. He can stay in here with you as long as you like. It's all cleared with the doctor and everyone."

"Thanks Duck."

"You three are a magical sight I must say. Despite the rather difficult way this has come about it is clear, your little family is finally complete."

"Yes, Ducky it is. I wonder now just how we should go about announcing this little one to your team, Jethro."

"I don't have a team anymore Jen. They're more yours than mine I'd say. But we do need to tell them."

"Yes. And SecNav. And Mike."

"How much does SecNav know?"

"Just that I'm ill and unable to work. He doesn't know about the pregnancy or the seriousness of the illness. I really need to let him know something before this gets out."

"I agree."

Jethro looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was only eleven in the morning. He felt like he'd been up for days.

"Why don't I give him a call and we can explain it to him together."

"Good idea. Do you have your phone?"

"I do but it's dead. Left the charger in Baja."

Jenny just smiled at him and shook her head. Some things never changed. Ducky pulled out his phone and read off the needed number as Jethro used the room phone to call out. Luckily, the phone had a speaker feature so both he and Jenny would be able to talk and hear. After a short delay while his secretary forwarded the call, Secretary Burke came on the line.

"Gibbs?"

"Yes sir. Mr. Secretary I'm here with Director Shepard and we'd like a few minutes if you have the time."

"Of course. How the hell are you Jethro?"

"I'm fine sir. I'm going to put you on speaker and let Jenny talk."

Jethro and Jenny had known the SecNav for many years and were more than just professional colleagues. Paul Burke had hired Jenny for the Director's position and he'd known Jethro since they were both in the Marine Corps. There was a lot of respect and affection between the three of them.

"Mr. Secretary first I want to thank you for your patience with me the last few months. It has been a tremendous help to know you have my back."

"Jenny, my main concern is you and now that I hear Jethro is back I presume you have some news for me. I'm almost afraid to hear what you have to tell me. Please don't tell me you're quitting and running off to sail with that old Marine of yours."

"Not quite. Paul, Jethro and I have a child. A son, born two days ago. That's one reason Jethro is here."

"Congratulations. That's wonderful. Now, go ahead and drop the other shoe."

Jethro looked at Jenny and knew it was time for him to speak up. He clicked off the speaker feature and turned away from the bed.

"Paul, it's not good news I'm afraid. Jenny has cancer. It's bad and there's nothing they can do for her."

"Dammit. You're sure I guess."

"Yeah. We wanted you to know before the news gets out to the rest of NCIS. I don't know what all we need to do about the job and leave and all that."

"Don't give that a thought. I'll have someone take care of all that. Once I have it figured out I'll come over and we'll talk about it. If that's okay."

"Absolutely. Paul, thank you for all your support to Jenny while I've been gone. It means a lot to me."

"Semper Fi, Gunny. Give Jenny my love and I'll see you guys next week sometime."

"Thanks Paul."

Jethro hung up the phone and turned back to Jenny taking her hand.

"Thank you Jethro. I simply couldn't say it again."

"It's okay. Now, Duck how about you get a picture of this sweet baby and his beautiful mom."

"And his handsome dad," added Jenny.

The three of them made a sweet picture and Ducky snapped a couple and then one of Matthew by himself.

"I will take these to the Navy Yard and show your team Jethro. I think I should talk to them in person so I can suggest they give you both some time before they descend. How much do you want me to tell them?"

Jethro and Jenny exchanged glances and Jenny shrugged. She held Matthew closer and concentrated on him. She was ready to turn over decision making to Jethro.

"Right now just tell them about the baby and that I'm home. We'll tell them the rest later. I think that should come from us. But, absolutely no visits until I say so."

Jethro felt like he was finally in charge again. It felt good to make decisions and to do some small thing to protect his family. He wanted them to have some time at home to get used to their situation before they started having visitors. He knew his team would want to see Jenny and the baby and he wanted that too, but not right away. The three of them needed some time to get settled.

"I couldn't agree more. Do you need anything done at home before you get there?"

"No, I called Noemi last week and she's been at the house getting everything ready."

"What about all the stuff babies need? Have you been able to get all that together?"

"Sweetheart I have had the most fun shopping online! You can get anything and everything online and have it delivered. I love it!"

"Oh geez. Well thank god for that and for Noemi. I guess."

Jenny and Ducky laughed and even Matthew smiled.

"Very well then I will take my leave. I will spread the word quietly among your team so expect to hear from Abby soon. I will absolutely forbid visits however."

"Thanks Duck. Tell her I'll let her know."

Ducky leaned down to kiss Matthew and his mother good bye.

"You three take care and I'll be in touch."

"I'll walk you out, Duck."

Jethro kissed Jenny and the baby and walked Ducky out to his car. The fresh air felt good but he wasn't really ready for January in DC after months in Baja.

"Jethro, whatever you need, whenever you need it just call me."

"I will. We need to get home and figure out what to do next. I can't believe all this Duck. I had so many questions but now most of them don't even matter. So may regrets but no time to indulge them now."

"You're right. Do not waste even one precious day on the past. Talking to Dr. Rodgers I'd say you have a few relatively good months yet so take advantage of that time and enjoy your family, Jethro. This is a cruel twist of fate but you will be alright if you lean on each other. Jenny is the strongest woman I've ever known. Let her help you as you help her."

"I'll try. I just want to hit something. I want to….hell I don't even know what I want."

"You're still in a state of shock. Jenny has had a few months to accept her fate. You don't have that but you have her. And Matthew. Just love them and let them love you and you'll be as close to okay as you can get under the circumstances."

"Yeah. I better get back, I'm freezing. Thank you Duck."

"You are welcome my friend. I'll check on you in a couple of days."

When Jethro returned a nurse was in the room getting a bottle ready for Matthew. He sat in the chair next to the bed and watched his son guzzle another bottle.

"Man he likes to eat. I just fed him before I came in here."

"Yes, he's a good eater. Like his daddy."

"I never thought I'd be called that again. I still can't believe we have a baby, Jen."

"I know but here he is. What a wonderful surprise."

"I'll say."

"Are you going to call Mike? Won't he wonder what's happening?"

"I'll call him tonight."

For the rest of the afternoon there was little talking and lots of cuddling and loving on their baby. Jethro fell asleep in the chair after Matthew went back to sleep and Jenny also fell asleep. After some no-so-great hospital dinner, Jenny convinced Jethro to go home and at least shower and change clothes.

"Everything is just where it was when you left. You need to get some rest. You look dead tired."

"I know. I just hate to leave you."

"Jethro, we can't be together every minute you know that. Yes, I want to be with you as much as possible but we can't smother each other. I'm okay. Especially here. Go on and go home. Call Mike. Take a shower and relax. Let Noemi cook for you. I swear I think she's missed you almost as much as I have."

"She loves me."

"Don't be so smug about it! Come on, kiss me and your son and go home for a while. We'll be right here whenever you come back."

Jethro sat on the bed and indulged himself in several long, passionate kisses with his wife. Then he picked up Matthew and gave him a kiss and told him he loved him.

Turning back to Jenny he said, "And I love you too. I'll be back after while."

"I'll be here. Hey, there's probably a phone charger that will work for your phone in my desk drawer."

"Okay."

After one more long, lingering kiss Jethro forced himself to go. He didn't get far down the hall before he was back. Jenny was smiling and holding up her car keys. She tossed them to him at the door.

"Thanks."

"Bye lover."

Jethro finally found Jenny's car after cursing himself for not having the sense to ask her where she'd parked. As he sat in the car waiting for it to warm up just a little bit he shook his head at all that had happened in the last day. Less than twenty-four hours ago he was on his way to San Diego with Ana. Now his life had taken another sudden and totally unforeseen turn and Jethro was reeling inside. The parade of emotions he'd experienced in the last twelve hours still threatened to overwhelm him. He knew he had to get himself together but he also knew that was not going to be easily accomplished. He would have to follow Ducky's advice and let Jenny help him while he tried to help her.

A hot shower and a hot, home cooked meal improved Jethro's attitude more than he thought it could. Noemi was more than happy to see him and it made Jethro feel good that she was there for him and Jenny. And Matthew. He quickly ascertained that she knew all about Jenny's condition and was heartbroken about it. Noemi had been taking care of Jenny since she was a young girl and the idea of "her" Jenny dying so young was terribly difficult for Noemi to accept. She assured Jethro that she had everything for the baby in the nursery and ready to go. She explained Jenny had hired someone to fix up one of the guest rooms as a nursery so when Jethro went upstairs to shower he went in to see what had been done. The room had been painted a nice blue-gray color and there was some minimal baby room furniture in there. There was no baby bed which Jethro was happy to see. That mean Jenny was waiting to see if he still had Kelly's crib which he did. He and his father had built the bed and he was anxious to retrieve it from his attic and get it ready for Matthew.

After he finished his meal and sent Noemi home, Jethro sat on the couch and promptly fell asleep. Two hours later he woke up and reached for the phone and called Jenny to see if she wanted anything from home.

"Did Noemi cook for you?"

"She had that chicken casserole I like already in the oven. Want me to bring you some?"

"Oh yes, please! I can't eat this food any longer."

"Okay, I'm going to call Mike then I'll be there. Anything else?"

"Just you."

"See you shortly."

Jethro had plugged in his phone as soon as he got home so it was charged and ready to go. As he went to the desk to get it and call Mike it chirped at him. Mike had beat him to the punch.

"Hey, Mike I was just about to call you."

"What's goin' on Probie? Jenny alright?"

"Not really."

Jethro told Mike the whole story.

"Damn Jethro, I'm sorry. Helluva thing to go home to."

"Yeah. Tell Ana for me will ya?"

"Sure. She called and told me you'd left and she'd bring the truck back. She's worried about you."

"I know. Jenny and I will be okay. We'll be home in a couple of days and then I guess we'll just live our lives the best we can. I don't really know what to expect Mike."

"I'm sure you don't. Just enjoy that baby and love your wife. That's all you can do. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"I will. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for calling."

"Bye Jethro. Hang in there."

Jethro took Jenny some supper and while she ate he held Matthew and marveled at just how darn cute he was.

"We made a pretty cute little guy didn't we?"

"Yes, we did. I think he looks like his daddy. I hope he has your eyes."

"I hope he's as smart as his mom and not as stubborn as either of us."

Jenny laughed. She knew she would never tire of watching Jethro with their son. Despite the dark cloud hanging over them Jethro looked truly happy holding their baby.

"Jethro, I want to go home. Tomorrow."

"What's the doctor say?"

"He said two or three days yesterday. So, tomorrow will be two days and I want to go home. I don't need nursing care so I can go home. Noemi will be there to help and you're there. I need to be at home. Matthew needs to be home too."

"Okay. Tomorrow it is then. I'll make it happen."

"You will?"

"Of course. Like you said, no reason to stay here."

The next morning over only mild disagreement from Dr. Rodgers, the Gibbs family went home. Jethro had gone home very early to retrieve and install the car seat for the baby so as soon as everything was signed he whisked his wife and son out of the hospital and safely home. Jenny was still weak from the birth and her illness but being home was far better than lying around in a hospital even for one more day. Noemi met them at the door and took the baby so Jethro could help Jenny up the stairs. Despite her protests Jethro simply swept her into his arms and carried her to their bedroom. He was amazed at how much weight she seemed to have lost but wisely made no comment. He put her down beside the bed and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Hold me please."

"Of course."

Jenny leaned into him and let his strength envelope her and seep into her soul. She had been strong on her own for so long and kept so much of her fear and anxiety hidden but now that she was back in Jethro's arms she let it all go. She began to sob and Jethro simply held on tighter, careful not to hurt her but letting her know she was safe. He caressed her back and kissed her hair as she clung to him like the lifeline he was.

"I've got you, Jen. Let it go, let it all out. You're safe now and I'm not ever leaving you. You're not alone anymore. I love you."

Finally, Jenny drew a halting breath and Jethro felt her relax in his arms. He carefully moved them back until Jenny sat on the side of the bed and he sat beside her. She leaned into him and he continued to hold her. After a few minutes, Noemi quietly knocked on the door and Jethro went to let her in. She handed Matthew to him and went over to Jenny, sitting beside her and putting her arm around her.

"He is so beautiful! You did good, my Jenny."

"Thank you Noemi. He is wonderful isn't he?"

"Oh yes. He looks like his daddy I think. What is his name?"

"Matthew Donald. And yes, he does look like his daddy. Thank you for all your help and for being here today."

"I will always be here you know that. Whatever you need you tell me. Everything is just as you said in the nursery and in here. Formula and diapers here and in the nursery and downstairs too."

"Perfect."

"You rest and enjoy the baby and I will be downstairs."

"Thank you."

Jethro thanked Noemi and she went out shutting the door behind her. Jenny settled back, resting against the headboard and Jethro put Matthew on the bed. He unwrapped his blanket and undressed him and gave him to Jenny who had opened her shirt to hold him against her chest. Matthew wriggled around and got himself situated, sighed and fell asleep. Jethro just sat and watched. Nothing was said because there were no words to express what either of them were thinking.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Betrayal**

Chapter 11

The little family quickly settled into life at home. Matthew slept in a bassinette in his parents' room and luckily for them he was a good sleeper right from the start. Most nights he slept for three hours at a time and since Jenny was not nursing Jethro could take his turn feeding while Jenny slept. During the day Matthew ate about every three or four hours and slept about the same amount of time. When they had been home for three days Ducky came by to see how things were going. He held his namesake and pronounced him the perfect baby.

"When do you expect you might be ready for some company and do you want them all at once or one at a time?"

Jenny and Jethro had already talked about that very question so Jethro had a ready answer.

"We would like to invite everyone over on Saturday for brunch."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" he asked, looking at Jenny.

"Yes, Noemi will do all the preparation and I'd like to have everyone at one time and get it over with. That sounds terrible and I don't mean it like that but I don't want to tell the story over and over again."

"Of course. I didn't think of that. Well, I know they are not on call this weekend so I'll pass the word. Eleven o'clock then?"

"Yes, that's perfect. Please tell them no gifts. We have everything we need."

"I'll tell them."

When Saturday morning came around Jenny almost decided to cancel the brunch. She was anxious about seeing Jethro's team after everything that had happened and she dreaded telling them about her cancer. She hated the pitying looks she got from people who knew and she didn't want to see that from the team. Plus, she just hated talking about it. She and Jethro were doing a good job of ignoring the elephant in the room and this morning she was going to draw attention to that elephant in a big way. She was sitting on the side of the bed staring into space when Jethro walked out of the bathroom.

"What's the matter, Jen?"

"I don't know if I can do this today."

"You mean have everyone here or tell them about the cancer?"

"Both."

"How about we just show them Matthew and let them carry on about him and then after we eat and it's almost time for them to go I'll tell them the rest. You could even be up here by then and not have to deal with it."

Jenny thought about that and it sounded very appealing at first but then she decided she was not a coward and she would face everyone and accept their concerns and sympathy. After all she cared about these people and she knew they cared about her. They loved Jethro and he loved them and she needed to be with him when he told them what was happening. After all, they would be a big support to Jethro and to her going forward.

"No, I think I'd rather be there with you when you tell them."

"Good. It'll be fine, Jen. They love you and they will be very supportive of us."

The brunch went off very well with Noemi's help and Ducky there to support Jenny and Jethro. Of course Matthew was the star of the show and everyone took their turn holding him even Tim and Tony. Abby was ecstatic about the Gibblett and Ziva was just happy to see Jenny and Jethro back together. After everyone had eaten and Noemi took Matthew upstairs, Jethro gathered the group in the living room and asked them all to be seated. Jenny sat in a chair near the fireplace and Jethro stood beside her. No one had any idea what was coming of course but Ziva had a feeling it wasn't going to be good news. Something in Jenny's eyes and they way Jethro looked at her seemed very much counter to the happy news of baby Matthew.

Jethro didn't waste a lot of time on preliminaries; he pretty much got right to the point and when he finished talking there wasn't a dry eye in the room including his. No one said anything for a long time. There was a lot of staring at the floor and uneasy glances at each other but no one dared look at Jethro or Jenny. Except Ducky of course. He watched Jethro holding Jenny's hand and talking about his wife's illness and he marveled at his friend's ability to keep himself together. It hadn't been that long ago that Jethro had been given this terrible news but he seemed to have gathered himself fairly quickly.

Ziva was the first to move. She went to Jenny and leaned down to hug her. She whispered something in Jenny's ear and the two women shared a smile. Then she hugged Jethro and kissed him on the cheek. Fearing the scene would deteriorate quickly, Ducky got his glass and proposed a toast.

"I know you all have been given some sad news however, I believe we have much to celebrate today. We have a sweet, baby boy upstairs who has brought tremendous joy to this house. We have two people who have rediscovered their immense love for one another and we have today to enjoy each other. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow and we must not dwell on the grim news but celebrate the life and love that fills this house today. Please, let's drink to Matthew and his parents and their happiness today."

Everyone found their drinks and raised them in a toast as Ducky suggested. Jenny stood up and embraced first Ducky then each member of the team.

"Thank you all for coming and for your love and support. Ducky is right, we have much to celebrate and be thankful for. Each of you are special to Jethro and I and we will count on your love and support in the coming months."

One night about a week later Jenny walked into the bathroom as Jethro was at the sink wearing only a towel and brushing his teeth. He stopped and looked at her reflection behind him in the mirror. He recognized that look in her eyes and when he saw her robe hit the floor he smiled and quickly rinsed his mouth and put down his toothbrush. Jenny wrapped her arms around him pressing her bare flesh against his back. Jethro took a step back and Jenny loosened his towel and let it drop to the floor. Jenny's hands were roaming up and down his sides and Jethro turned in her arms.

"I want you Jethro."

"Okay but I don't think we can really have sex yet. Right?"

"No, we can't have intercourse yet but we could certainly do other things. I seem to remember you're pretty good at "other things".

"Hmmm, let me see if I can come up with anything you'll like."

"Don't tease me, Jethro."

Jethro led her to the bed and carefully laid her down. They had not been intimate for so long that Jethro was afraid he wouldn't last past a passionate kiss. He knew he'd need to careful not to hurt her so he took his time and spent a lot of time kissing and touching and letting Jenny return the favor for him. Even though it was not the intimacy they might have wanted it was satisfying and fulfilling simply because there was so much love and tenderness involved. Having Jenny touching him and loving him brought Jethro to a climax that he had not expected and he fell beside her exhausted.

"I have missed that so damn much. You're sure it's okay? I mean I didn't hurt you?"

Jenny laughed. He sounded so like a worried little boy and he certainly had not just been doing little boy things to her.

"You didn't hurt me. The doctor said I could have all the sex I in a few weeks. Until then we'll have to make do with "other things"."

Jethro rolled over so he could look at her. The surprised look on his face was priceless.

"You asked Dr. Rodgers about us having sex?"

"Yes, Jethro. He is a doctor after all. I knew I was going to want to be with you pretty damn quickly so I wanted to know when I could expect to be able to have sex. I don't want to waste any of the precious time I have left with you."

"And you're sure it won't hurt anything? "

"You mean like make the cancer worse? Hell, Jethro I'm dying. If I die a little early because I've enjoyed too much sex with my husband do you think I'll care?"

Jethro looked stunned for a second then he laughed and Jenny joined in. They laughed until they cried then they fell asleep in each other's arms. From that night on they shared some form of intimacy pretty much whenever the mood struck them which turned out to be pretty often. Once that part of their relationship had been rekindled, their touching, kissing and general physical contact returned to where it had been early in their relationship. Jethro had always loved being in close contact with Jenny and the fact that she wanted to be physically close to him most of the time certainly wasn't a hardship. He liked holding hands and having her touching him and she felt the same way.

The next three months were good ones for the Gibbs family. Matthew was flourishing; growing and developing right on track. Every check up was perfect and he was a happy, lovable baby. He looked more like his father every day. Jenny felt good most of the time. For those first months she was able to navigate the stairs without much problem so she was not confined to the upstairs. It seemed that her body was relieved to be no longer supporting the baby and was able to mount a small recovery of sorts. Some days Jethro could almost forget his wife was slowly dying.

Jenny spent most of her time with Matthew. She talked to him, sang to him and generally did everything she could to imprint herself into his memory banks. Jethro had found a box of books that had been Kelly's and Jenny read them all to Matthew while a state-of-the-art recorder captured her voice for Matthew to have in the years to come. Jethro had been back to the attic and taken Kelly's baby bed down and he spent a couple of hours a day in his basement cleaning, sanding and refinishing it. When it was all ready he loaded it in a borrowed pickup and took it to the townhouse in Georgetown. Once it was assembled in the nursery he led Jenny in to see it.

"Jethro, it's beautiful! You and Jack built this?"

"Yep. It's been in the attic all this time but it's all ready for our little one when he's ready."

"I love it. Thank you for bringing it over."

"Had to. He'll be ready for it before we know it. I remember when we first put Kelly in here. She looked so tiny but before long she was standing up demanding to get out."

Jenny looked wistfully at the bed and wondered if she'd ever see Matthew standing up in it, demanding to be taken out. Jethro sensed what she was thinking and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He didn't say anything because there just wasn't anything he could say that would help. Besides, he was thinking the same thing.

When the weather allowed and Jenny felt like it they took Matthew out for walks. On one of those walks on a balmy March afternoon Jenny brought up the subject of where Jethro and Matthew would live after she was gone.

"I haven't thought about it much."

"You want to know my thoughts on the subject?"

"Of course."

"I want you to sell the townhouse and move back to your house with Matthew. Raise him there. You belong there Jethro, not in the townhouse."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I know you don't really love living in Georgetown and Matthew will need a yard to play in and you need the basement."

"I would have to have some work done over there. You know, to get it in shape."

"Yes you certainly will need to do that. Do you still have those plans we drew up years ago?"

"Yes, in the basement somewhere. I'd forgotten about those."

"Why don't you call Carl and have him come back and talk to you about it?"

"I will. That's a good idea Jen."

"I have one every now and then. My good idea right now is to go home and have you build us a fire. I'm getting a little cold."

A contractor was hired, plans revised and updated and work on the renovation of Jethro's house began the first week of April. Jenny designed the nursery and since she was still feeling pretty good she went over to the house with Jethro two or three times to see how things were coming along. By the end of the month most of the construction work was complete and Jenny was well enough to spend several hours at the house choosing paint colors, fixtures and finishes. Jethro was introduced to the joys and dangers of online shopping as Jenny ordered window coverings and bedroom and dining room furniture. When it came to choosing new living room furniture Jethro insisted he needed to sit on any couch or chair they were buying so that was put off for a while.

By the time May rolled around Jenny was beginning to experience more fatigue and more days when she didn't feel much like getting out of bed. She fought against that and forced herself to get up and spend time with Matthew every day. She needed help on the stairs now but she still went down for meals and to visit with Noemi or spend time with Jethro. Matthew had a sleeping place in the living room so he was with his mom most of every day. Jenny began a journal for him and wrote in it every day. She continued to read stories to him on the recorder and she also recorded stories for him for when he was older.

At Jenny's insistence Jethro spent a few hours most days at his house either working in the yard or doing something with the remodeling. She had worked very hard to convince him that in order for him to maintain his sanity he needed some time for himself. And she needed the same. Ducky was a frequent visitor and Ziva was as well. She and Jenny spent several hours a week talking together and Jenny always felt better when Ziva had visited.

The house was officially finished the third week of May and the Jethro took Jenny and Matthew over to see how wonderful it looked. He was very pleased with everything but the idea of living there with Matthew and without Jenny was difficult for him to contemplate. Still, Jenny insisted she wanted to see the house.

"Jethro, I want to see where our son is going to grow up. I want to picture him there."

"Okay."

They went over on a Sunday afternoon. The weather was perfect and a few flowers were actually blooming in the yard. The grass had been cut and the place looked wonderful from the outside. Jenny could hardly wait to see the inside. Years ago she and Jethro had talked about moving there and that was why they had drawn up remodeling plans. Now those plans had finally been implemented and Jenny was anxious to see the finished product. It was a bittersweet moment when she walked in the front door and saw her vision for the old place come to life in an almost new house.

"Oh my goodness, Jethro it looks just like we envisioned it all those years ago."

"Yeah, it turned out great didn't it?"

"Yes, it's beautiful."

The dark paneling had been painted a much lighter color and the trim was now a fresh, creamy white. The floors had been refinished and the living room and dining room were now one big family room. The kitchen had been gutted and completely redone with new cabinets and appliances and a fabulous, granite topped eating bar. There were new ceiling fans in every room and new windows in the living room. The whole downstairs was new.

"Come on, let's go up."

Jethro let Jenny go first and he followed with Matthew in his arms. There were three bedrooms upstairs and Jenny checked the extra room first. It was still pretty bare at this point with only an old bed and dresser. That would be a guest room for when Mike visited or if Noemi needed to stay over. Jenny and Jethro had already decided Noemi would stay on to help with Matthew if she wanted to. Jethro certainly hoped she would. The nursery was next. Jethro had painted the walls the same color as the room in the townhouse. There was a mural on one wall that a friend of Abby's had painted. It featured a coral reef with sailboats above. Jethro liked it very much.

"Oh my gosh, I love that mural. Abby's friend did that?"

"Yeah, isn't it great?"

"It's perfect. The room looks great Jethro."

Of course the baby bed wasn't there and Jethro was going to build cabinets and shelves himself so the room was essentially bare but Jenny pictured how it would look with a little boy's toys strewn about. Jethro showed her where he intended to put built-in cabinets and shelves for clothes, books and toys and where the bed would go.

"I like it. It'll be perfect for him."

Jenny checked the bathroom across the hall that Matthew would use then went to see the master bedroom. It wasn't as large as the one they had at the townhouse which had a sitting area but it was still a large bedroom. There was an ensuite bathroom that had been updated to include a walk-in shower and double sinks in a new countertop. Jethro had balked at the idea of needing two sinks but Jenny insisted and he didn't want to argue with her so now he had two sinks. He knew she didn't think about the fact that it would only remind him that she wasn't there to use the other one.

Jenny stood in the bedroom and closed her eyes. The new furniture had been delivered and was set up. They had chosen a Mission Style set in a medium dark wood and it looked fabulous in the room. Choosing the bedroom furniture had been a difficult task but between the two of them they had managed to get it done. Jethro started out saying he didn't care what she got but Jenny had insisted he help make the choice.

"I won't be using it Jethro, you will. I want you to get something you like."

"Why don't I just use what we have now?"

"Mainly because it doesn't go with the style of your house."

Eventually he sat down with her and looked at countless designs before he finally admitted he really liked the one they settled on. What he didn't know was that before she put in the order she changed the bed size from the queen bed Jethro said he wanted to the king size that Jenny thought he should have. When the furniture was delivered earlier in the week Jethro didn't say anything about the bed. Now they were standing in the bedroom and he still hadn't said anything. Jenny wasn't going to let it pass though because she knew his choice was based on the idea that he would always be the only one sleeping in this bed and she wanted to talk to him about that idea. It was a conversation they needed to have but one which Jenny knew Jethro wanted to avoid at all costs.

Jenny sat down on the bed and held her hands out for Matthew. Jethro handed her the baby and sat down beside her. Jenny scooted to the middle of the bed and laid Matthew down so he could stretch and move around a little.

"Jethro, let's talk about this bed."

"What about it?"

"Don't be difficult, Jethro. You wanted a queen sized bed and I ordered you the king. We need to talk about the larger issue that is represented by the bed size."

Jethro got up and paced around the room. Serious conversations about Jenny's health were not easy for him and so they were mostly avoiding the subject. The idea of a future without Jenny was not something he wanted to contemplate for any length of time and he knew exactly what Jenny wanted to talk about regarding the damn bed. He finally stopped pacing and looked at her but didn't speak. He watched Matthew rolling around on the bed and had to shut his eyes against the picture of Jenny, stretched out next to their son on the bed they would never share.

"Jen do we have to do this?"

"Yes, sweetheart I think we do. We can't avoid talking about the future forever. I know you don't want to but there are some things I need to say."

"Okay. Go ahead."

"Jethro, the house is wonderful. Everything is just as I pictured it and I can imagine you and Matthew here for many, many years. I can see him running up and down the hallway, playing in the yard, doing homework at the bar and all the things little boys will do. I see him in the basement with you learning to build wonderful boats and cars and who knows what else."

"Yeah, I hope all that comes true. I can see him here too. But…"

"I know. It's hard to accept I won't be here with you. There is something else I picture here, Jethro. Someone to love you and Matthew and be a mom to him."

"Jen." It was a warning for her to stop but she ignored it.

"No, Jethro listen to me. I want Matthew to be happy in this house with you for his whole life and I want you to be happy here too. You won't be happy alone forever and Matthew can't be the sole source of your happiness. He will need a mom at some point. Remember how much you adored and needed your mom? I want Matthew to have someone like that to love and my voice on a recording won't suffice for that. I want him to see his father happy and I want him to learn how to treat a woman from watching his father love someone."

Jethro sat down on the bed and Jenny moved to sit beside him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed the side of his head.

"I love you with all my heart Jethro and I know you love me equally but some day you must allow yourself to love another woman. Not just for Matthew but for yourself too. You are a wonderful, generous man and you deserve to be happy. God knows, you've had your share of disappointment and heartache. I want you to think about what I've said and one day very soon I want you to promise me you will be happy again after I'm gone."

Jethro didn't dare speak. He simply nodded his head. Matthew had rolled over and over until he was stuck behind his daddy and unable to roll anymore. Jethro reached around and picked up his son holding him close and kissing him. Jenny stomach rumbled and she laughed at the look Jethro gave her.

"Guess we ought to go find some food for your mom, little boy."

"Yes, let's go to dinner."

About a week after they visited the house Jenny began to experience some dizziness and general pain when she moved. Dr. Rodgers wanted to do a PET scan but Jenny resisted saying she knew she had cancer and that she was dying so she didn't really need to know exactly where it was. He argued that he could give her some idea as to what to expect but Jenny countered by saying she'd rather be surprised. In the end of course Jenny won and there was no PET scan. She agreed to blood work only. Dr. Rodgers gave her a prescription for pain meds but she didn't get it filled. She promised she would later but right now she could manage and she didn't want to be doped up and miss time with Matthew and Jethro.

To Jenny's surprise Jethro didn't argue with her about either the scan or the pain pills. He told her it was her decision and he would support whatever she wanted to do. Jenny thanked her lucky stars every day for Jethro and his unrelenting support and love.

Jenny had read many studies, journal articles and patient reports pertaining to her type of cancer so she had a pretty good idea of what to expect in the coming months. She felt like she was prepared for what was coming but she was quite sure Jethro was not. How could he be? She worried about that and about how he was going to cope with her decline. She had no doubts about his willingness to care for her to the bitter end but she worried about the toll it would take on him. The next few months would be difficult for all of them. Jenny knew the end could come suddenly or she could linger for weeks and weeks after things got really bad. Some days she hoped for suddenly and some days she wanted to stay as long as possible no matter what.

One afternoon as they snuggled on the couch while Matthew slept nearby, Jenny asked Jethro what he'd done all those months in Mexico with Mike.

"What in the world did you do all that time? I can't imagine spending that much time with Mike Franks."

"Well that's because you two don't seem to really like each other. Mike and I are friends you know."

"Yes, I know but still."

"I did a bunch of projects around the cabin. You know, fixed the porch, painted the porch, fixed the roof. We went fishing. I fixed his old truck. Stuff like that."

"Okay, that's about two weeks work for you Jethro."

"You want the truth?"

That got her attention and she hesitated but they were way past any secrets or any need to spare feelings.

"Of course I do. Jethro, at this point in our lives we can certainly be honest with each other. Can't we?"

"Yes. I just don't want to make you feel bad or open old hurts."

Jenny took his hand and kissed his palm. She snuggled in closer.

"You won't. Tell me."

"For about the first month I didn't do anything but wander up and down the beach, drink beer and brood. I was so miserable I didn't want to do anything. I had no idea how I was going to live without you. Finally, Mike got me to get busy with some work and that helped. Until I fell off the roof."

"What? Were you hurt?"

"Cut my leg pretty bad and got a hairline fracture in my wrist."

"Please tell me you went to a hospital or a doctor at least."

"I did. Mike took me to the clinic in town. They have a very good doctor who sewed me up and put a brace on my wrist. I was through with projects for a while."

"Gosh, I had no idea. It's hard for me to think about you being injured and I didn't even know it."

"Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine you here all that time, having cancer and being pregnant and me not knowing."

"We made a mess for ourselves didn't we?"

"We did. But it's all cleaned up now and I don't think about it anymore. I mean that, Jen, I don't think about any of that now."

"I know. Okay, so what did you do the last few months?"

"I remodeled the building next to the clinic into a new clinic."

Jenny looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

"That sounds like a pretty big job. Tell me."

Going back to the falling-off-the-roof story, Jethro told her about meeting Ana and the story of Dr. Jose and the new clinic and how Ana had run out of money but had all the materials on hand. He told her all about the work he'd done and how well it had turned out. He mentioned Ana a few times but naturally didn't elaborate on their friendship. At one point Jenny reached for his arm and pulled it to her. She traced her finger across the faint scar left by the stitches that closed that nasty cut he had gotten.

"Ana is the one responsible for this?"

"Well she sewed me up. I got careless and it was pretty bad. That was not a good day."

"No, I imagine not. She did a splendid job. If I wasn't so familiar with your arm I might not even notice."

"I like that you're familiar with my arm. Would you like to see the scar on my leg?"

"Sure. How about we go upstairs and you can show me all your scars."

"Very good idea, Mrs. Gibbs."

Jethro went in the kitchen and told Noemi he was taking Jenny upstairs for a rest and Matthew was still asleep. She said she'd listen for him and take care of him while they rested. She winked at Jethro when she said that and Jethro just smiled back at her. These days Jenny needed help to get up and down the stairs so she was waiting for Jethro to go up. When they finally made it to the bedroom Jenny was out of breath.

"I could just carry you up here you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. I'd just like to put that off for as long as possible. It's not nearly so romantic when I have to be carried as it is when you're just in a hurry."

"Who says I'm not in a hurry right now?"

"Well, I'm sorry. You'll have to give a few minutes."

Jethro sat beside her on the bed and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Take all the time you need. I'm not goin' anywhere."

Their lovemaking these days was just as emotionally intense as ever but physically they were more restrained. There was a lot of touching and kissing and Jethro spent a lot of time gently caressing and loving every inch of the woman he loved more than his own life. He could see her shrinking and fading away from him week to week. She was still beautiful and she still took his breath away but to Jethro who knew her body so intimately it was painfully obvious she was very ill. On this afternoon they took their time undressing each other and Jenny then spent a long, torturous time searching out each and every scar Jethro had. Between a boyhood spent in the outdoors, the Marine Corps and a career at NCIS Jethro had accumulated more than his share of cuts, bullet holes and surgery scars. Jenny was busy for a long time and Jethro enjoyed every moment.

Eventually Jethro couldn't stand it any longer and he let Jenny know her examination was over. Mindful of hurting her, Jethro pulled Jenny on top of him and they got down to business. Jenny leaned down and kissed him as Jethro, his hands on her hips, thrust up to meet her and they fell into their familiar rhythm. Jenny sat up and scraped her fingernails through his chest hair. Jethro moved his hands to her breasts and Jenny climaxed with is name on her lips. She collapsed on his chest and whispered her love in his ear. Jethro carefully rolled them over and pulled a sheet over their sweat-slicked bodies.

"I love you Jen. Forever."

Jenny woke up first and she lay in Jethro's arms and worrying about him. She had no concerns about Jethro as a father; she knew he was more than capable of raising Matthew by himself. She worried because Jethro had already lost so much and losing her was going to be tremendously difficult. He may not think about their "separation" now but when she was gone and he was alone he would brood over the time he spent away and blame himself. Jenny had been telling Jethro the truth when she told him she wanted him to find someone to love; someone to be a mom to Matthew. She worried though that he would shut himself off from the world and concentrate all his energy on Matthew. That was not going to be good for Matthew or his daddy. Jenny resolved to talk to Ducky and get his input. Jethro began to stir and Jenny turned in his arms and kissed him awake.

"Hi, good nap?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Very nice. For some reason I was suddenly very tired."

"Me too. I sure enjoy getting tired with you."

Jenny kissed him again and said, "Would you enjoy getting clean with me?"

"Yes, I'm sure I would. What an excellent idea, Mrs. Gibbs."

Jenny slid out of bed and held her hand out for Jethro. He reached for her and stood up and let her lead him to the shower. Thirty minutes later they walked into the kitchen to find Noemi making Jethro's favorite; chicken enchiladas, while Matthew sat in his highchair eating Cheerios and babbling non-stop.

"Hello, little man. How's daddy's boy?"

Matthew grinned widely at the sound of his father's voice. Jenny marveled again at how much her son looked like her husband. He had Jethro's light brown hair, his nose and mouth and most strikingly, his father's blue eyes. She watched them 'talking' to each other and smiled. Matthew would be his father's salvation Jenny was sure of that.

"My goodness, Noemi to what do we owe the pleasure of this feast you are preparing?"

"Dr. Mallard called while you were resting and asked if he might visit so I suggested he come for supper."

"Wonderful. Thank you for doing that."

Jethro turned his attention to the stove and reached for some cheese. Noemi slapped his hand away playfully. Jethro leaned down and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

"Noemi, will you stay on with me when Jenny is gone?"

The room went deathly silent. Neither woman moved and Jethro just stood there looking at the little Colombian woman who meant so much to them. He hadn't planned to ask her in exactly that way or even on this particular day but for some reason he needed to get it out there. Jenny looked at him and wondered where that had come from. Noemi didn't know what to say she was so surprised by Jethro's sudden question.

"Jethro, what…"

Before Jenny could finish, Noemi spoke up, "Yes, I would love to stay with you and baby Matthew."

"What about when Matthew isn't a baby anymore?"

"I stay with you for as long as you want me."

"Good. That's settled. I'm sorry if that was the wrong way to ask but I just needed to know. I'm not sure why I needed to know right now but I did. Thank you Noemi."

"You are welcome, Senor."

Jenny wiped a tear from her eye. At least she could mark that worry off her list. That only left about forty-seven others to deal with. Jethro took Matthew out of the highchair and hugged him.

"Come on little boy, you and daddy are goin' outside for a while."

Jethro kissed Jenny and walked out with out another word. Jenny and Noemi exchanged looks that said neither of them knew what to say. They both started to speak and Jenny held out her hand indicating Noemi should go first. In a shaky voice Noemi said what Jenny needed to hear.

"You know I love your Jethro and our baby Matthew. I promise I will take good care of them for a long time. Senor Gibbs, he is a good father. He will take the best care of Matthew."

"Thank you Noemi. I honestly don't know what we would do without you. I know Matthew will be in good hands but I do worry about Jethro."

"What is your worry?"

"What if he never finds anyone to love? I want Matthew to have a mother some day."

"We cannot fix that part. Senor Gibbs, he is a good man but very, what do you say, particular. He will not find another Jenny."

At this Noemi began to cry. She covered her face with her hands and for the first time in Jenny's presence, she cried for Jenny and Jethro and baby Matthew. And for herself and what she was losing. Noemi had taken care of Jenny from the time Jenny was fourteen years old. She watched over her after her mother died, shepherded her through college and was always waiting in the family townhouse when Jenny came home from wherever she'd been working. When Jethro came into the picture Noemi was at first, not a fan of the gruff, handsome NCIS agent. Over time though as she saw how much he loved her Jenny, what good care he took of her and how protective he was of her, Noemi came to love Jethro too. Now she was as devoted to him as she was to Jenny. And Matthew was like her own grandson. She adored the little boy and expected to take care of him for years to come.

Jenny wrapped her arms around Noemi and shed her own tears. After just a short time Noemi composed herself and stepped back. She went back to her cooking and Jenny poured herself a glass of ice tea and watched Jethro carrying Matthew around the backyard. Jethro was pointing out flowers and trees and talking nonstop to his son. Jenny had always marveled at Jethro's easy way with children and it was worth everything she'd gone through to see those two together.

Jethro wandered around the yard with his son in his arms and a heaviness settling in his gut. As the days and weeks went by it was getting harder and harder for him to hold himself together. Each passing day brought him closer to being a widower for the second time. Thinking about how miserable he was without Jenny the previous summer and knowing that when this summer was over he would likely be without her forever, Jethro could barely breathe sometimes. He wanted to be strong for Jenny, to support her and not put his sadness on her as another burden for her to bear. Sometimes when he looked at her he could see her slipping away from him and he was desperate to hold onto her. He wanted to be with her constantly and yet being with her reminded him she was leaving him. She seemed to be handling everything so much better than he was but that didn't surprise him. She was stronger that he was. And, frankly she wasn't the one being left behind. Every time that thought entered his head Jethro felt like the most horrible husband in the world.

Matthew was babbling away at his father and squirming to get down. Jethro put him down on the grass and Matthew sat very still running his chubby little hands through the soft grass. Soon enough he pulled some out and shoved it in his mouth.

"Oh no you don't my friend! Your mom will have my hide if she sees you eating grass."

Jethro gently brushed the grass from Matthew's fist and out of his mouth. Matthew made a spitting motion and laughed at his daddy.

"That's right spit it out. Good boy."

Jethro sat beside his son and stood him up to stand between his legs.

"You are getting so big. It's just gonna be you and me little man. I promise I'll take good care of you Mattie. But you gotta be a good boy for me and be patient with me. It's gonna be hard without your sweet momma around."

Matthew put his little hands on Jethro's cheeks and patted him. Jethro kissed him on the forehead and stood up to go inside. Ducky stepped out on the back porch as Jethro turned to go in the house.

"Look who's here, Mattie. It's grandpa Ducky."

"My goodness how he's growing! What a handsome boy you are Matthew."

Ducky reached for the baby who happily went to him.

"Jethro are you alright?"

"Yeah, sure. Mattie and I were just checking out the yard. Is supper ready?"

"I believe we have a few minutes. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"No, I'm good Duck. Jenny send you out to check on me?"

"No, I haven't seen her yet. Noemi said she was in the study resting so I came looking for you. How does she seem to you these days?"

Jethro looked out over the back yard and sighed.

"She's slipping away from me Duck. Nothin' dramatic but I can see it day to day. She gets tired easy and she doesn't eat much more than this little one."

Before Ducky could respond Jenny appeared at the door and called them in to eat. They all sat around the kitchen table to eat and Noemi joined them at Jethro's insistence. Matthew played happily in his high chair stuffing Cheerios and banana slices in his mouth. Ducky regaled them with a story about Tony and Ziva chasing a suspect through the woods and Jenny laughed almost to the point of tears.

"Those two are quite a pair aren't they Ducky."

"Yes indeed. They remind me of a couple I knew years ago in Europe."

That comment was accompanied with a glance to both Jethro and Jenny.

"No stories about that tonight, Duck."

When they had finished eating, Noemi shooed everyone out of the kitchen so she could clean up. Jethro poured himself a cup of coffee and fixed Jenny and Ducky each a cup of tea. The three of them settled in the living room with Matthew snuggled in Jenny's lap. Before long Noemi came in and took Matthew up to bed. Jenny was telling Ducky about the remodeling of Jethro's house when Noemi came down to go home. She was gone only a minute when she came back in the house.

"What's the matter Noemi, you forget something?"

"No, my car won't start."

Jethro went out to take a look and came right back to tell Jenny he was taking Noemi home.

"Why don't I take her, I should be going anyway."

"No, Duck I got it. I need to pick up some formula anyway. Besides, I'm sure Jenny wants to talk to you. Right babe?"

"As a matter of fact I would enjoy a longer visit but I have no ulterior motives and nothing I wouldn't say in front of you."

"I know. Just kidding. I'll be right back."

When they were alone Ducky moved to sit on the couch nearer Jenny. He studied her for a moment before asking her how she was feeling.

"I'm getting tired so easily these days. I don't feel bad really, just tired and, I admit a little bit scared."

"I'm sure you are. How much do you know of what to expect in the coming months?"

"I've read everything I can find and I feel like I know what's probably going to happen. Ducky, I'm really worried about Jethro."

"Tell me."

"He's holding so much inside. He hasn't broken down since that day at the hospital. At least not that I know of. Maybe he does in the shower or when I'm sleeping but I don't think so. I know him, Ducky, he's got a rage in him that needs to come out. He's faced with something so unfair he can't speak of it and of course he can't fix it. When I'm gone he won't be able to fall apart because he'll have Matthew to take care of. I'm afraid he'll just keep stuffing things down until one day it will destroy the person I love. That cannot happen. Not when he has a son to raise."

Jenny was becoming tearful and Ducky moved to put his arm around her.

"My dear, I too worry about Jethro. You're right he needs to give voice to his feelings but I don't know how to help him do that. What do you suggest?"

"Ducky, I don't know. Will you at least talk to him. Tell him he doesn't have to hide his feelings from me. His fear and his anger are to be expected and I can handle them. The idea of leaving Jethro breaks my heart, Ducky. I thought we'd have so much time together, years and years to squabble with each other and love each other. And when I got pregnant I thought everything would be perfect again. Boy was I wrong!"

"You two have been dealt a terrible blow. As I said at dinner when everyone was here, the joy that Matthew brings must be your focus. Jethro will not be alone when you are gone my dear. The team and I will always be here for him. Noemi is staying on I hope."

"Yes, she is. Jethro doesn't really have a team anymore Ducky. He will need to go back to some work but I don't imagine he will go back to NCIS. He would not want to supplant Tony in his position as team leader and Jethro can't work for anyone else. He will eventually need to find something to do or he will go crazy. Money won't be an issue but his sanity will be."

"Yes, he will have to find something to do."

"And he will need to find someone. I've told him I want him to eventually find someone to love but I'm worried he'll concentrate all his life on Matthew which won't be good for either of them."

"I'm afraid that is an area that he will have to negotiate on his own. I agree with your feelings on the subject and I will support him if it comes to that but he's mighty particular and you will be a hard act to follow my dear."

"Oh Ducky I'm sorry to dump all this on you but who else do I have?"

"By all means you dump on me all you want. You and Jethro are my family and I am concerned about both of you."

The two friends sat in silence for a while and Jenny felt herself falling asleep.

"Ducky, would you help me up the stairs. I'd like to sit in with Matthew for a while."

"Of course."

Ducky helped her upstairs to the nursery and Jenny settled in the rocking chair where she could see Matthew asleep in his bed. They had moved him out of the master bedroom just the week before and Jenny wasn't used to him being gone yet. Jethro had found her numerous times asleep in the chair.

"Will you wait for Jethro to get home? He doesn't want me to be here alone in case Matthew wakes up and needs something. I can't lift him anymore."

"I'll be happy to stay. Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you. I'll just sit here and probably fall asleep. I'm not used to having our little one in his own room yet."

"Alright, dear. I'll wait downstairs. Goodnight Jenny. I'll speak with Jethro about our concerns."

"Thank you my friend."

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Betrayal**

Chapter 12

Twenty minutes later Jethro walked in the house and found Ducky nearly asleep in a chair, a magazine in his lap. Ducky roused when Jethro came in the room.

"Hey Duck. Jenny upstairs?"

"Yes, she was falling asleep and wanted to sit in with Matthew. I went up with her just to make sure she was alright."

Ducky watched Jethro's face closely and saw the concern and sadness plainly there.

"She ask you to talk to me?"

"She did."

"So?"

"I'll say only this one thing tonight. Jethro you must not hold onto all your anger and sadness. You must not revert to your old ways of closing down and blocking out emotions you do not want to deal with. For your sake and Jenny's you really have to let that rage and frustration and sorrow come out."

Jethro shook his head and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Why in the world would I let Jenny see how angry and sad and scared I am Duck?"

"So she can let you see how angry and sad and scared she is, my friend. She thinks she's dealt with the anger and sadness and maybe she has to some extent. But, Jethro, she's afraid and she's crushed by the idea of leaving you and Matthew behind. If ever there was a time when the two of you could be completely honest with each other that time is now. The only comfort you will find is with each other. None of us who love you can do for you what Jenny can do and vice versa."

Ducky gave Jethro a sad smile and put his hand on Jethro's heart and said, "Let her see what's in here. Everything you're trying so hard to keep from her."

"Duck, I don't know how."

"Yes you do. Talk to her. She's your soul mate Jethro. You can tell her anything. In a few months, after Jenny is gone, I don't want you to look at yourself one day and say, 'I wish I'd told Jenny….whatever.' Tell her now. Let her know you're angry and scared and that you feel like crying all the time. She can take it. And she needs to be able to tell you the same things."

Jethro just nodded and pulled Ducky into a hug. The old ME patted his friend on the back.

"Thanks Duck. I'll do it. I promise."

"Good man. I'll see you in a few days. Call if you need anything."

"I will. Goodnight. Thanks for staying."

"Of course. Goodnight, Jethro."

Jethro locked the house and went upstairs. He found Jenny asleep in Matthew's room and gently carried her to bed. He lay awake for a long time that night with Jenny snuggled firmly against him. Ducky was right; he was angry and scared and wanted to cry at least three times a day. But how was he supposed to tell Jenny all that? He knew Ducky was right but Jethro's instinct to protect Jenny from anything bad overrode almost anything else. But, if Jenny needed to unload as much as he did he'd have to figure it out because he didn't want her carrying around all the stuff he was holding onto.

The next morning when Jethro awoke, Jenny was already dressed and downstairs with Noemi and Matthew. Jethro looked at the clock and saw it was almost seven thirty; very late for him to be sleeping these days. Then he remembered he'd still been awake at two thirty, unable to find the rest he so badly needed. The aroma of coffee pulled him from the bed and ten minutes later he was in the kitchen. Noemi was at the sink and Jenny was sitting at the table facing the high chair and feeding Matthew cereal and fruit. The little boy was gobbling it down as fast as his mom could get it in his mouth.

"Eats like a Marine on a mission," said his proud father.

"He certainly doesn't waste any time that's for sure."

Jethro leaned down and kissed Jenny and then his son. Matthew barely paid his father any attention focused as he was on the spoon in his mother's hand. When Jethro turned around Noemi handed him a cup of coffee.

"I made coffee cake, with lots of cinnamon just like you like it. You want some now?"

"Yes, I sure do. Thank you Noemi. How did you get here this morning?"

"My neighbor dropped me off. My nephew is coming to get the car later. He will take it to his shop."

"Okay. Just let me know if you need a ride or he needs help."

Noemi put the coffee cake, still warm from the oven, and some plates on the table then she left the little family to eat alone. Jethro devoured three pieces of the delicious treat and Jenny had a piece with her coffee. By now Matthew was finished eating and was happily sucking down a bottle of milk.

"I think I'll go work on the boat for a while today."

"I thought all your tools were in Mexico."

"They are."

Jenny looked at him but didn't say anything for a while. She knew he hadn't slept much last night because she was awake several times while he tossed and turned. She would not tell him that however because it would make him feel bad.

"Would you mind some company over there?"

"Not at all. You want to take Mattie with us or leave him here?"

"I think maybe we should leave him here."

Jenny had a strong feeling Ducky had spoken to Jethro last night about her concerns and now Jethro was trying to work out what to do. He'd always done some of his most productive thinking while in his basement with his boats and today would likely be no different. So, Jenny knew what was going on and Jethro was pretty sure she did. He had some thinking to do and maybe, alone in his house they could have the difficult conversation they had been avoiding for the last few months. Without saying it they both knew the time for conversation was running out.

They left Matthew in Noemi's capable hands later that morning and drove over to Jethro's house. The ride was silent, both of them lost in their own thoughts. When they got to the house, Jenny decided to spend some time sitting on the back deck.

"It's such a beautiful day I think I'll stay outside for a while. You go on and tend to the boat."

"You sure you're okay? You're awful quiet today."

"I'm fine. I'm going to write Matthew a letter. Go on, I'm alright."

Jethro left her sitting on the deck under the shade of the big umbrella with her notebook. Jenny was right; most of his tools were in Mexico so there wasn't much he could do in terms of working on the boat but he didn't really want to do that anyway. He just wanted to be in the basement with the boat and think. He could always find some sandpaper to occupy his hands. Jethro scrounged around in the drawers and found some fine grit paper and a sanding block and settled in smoothing out the already smooth hull. This activity almost always helped him clear his mind of the jumble that was often racing around in there. He had solved a lot of cases after a night of sanding and letting his mind go quiet. He hoped that would happen today.

After a while Jethro stood back and looked at the boat. He'd been building her for almost two years now and the hull was basically finished. He needed to start on the cabin and that had been his intention before he left last summer. Looking at his work now he realized he had no intention of starting on the cabin. No intention of finishing the damn boat at all. Why should he? They were never going to sail her anyway. He threw down the sanding block and picked up one of the few hand tools still there; a short handled sledge hammer.

All the anger and frustration of the past few months was burning its way from his gut to his heart and out through his mouth and powering his rage as he swung the hammer at the beautiful creation he'd worked so hard on. Over and over again he swung the powerful hammer into the sides of the boat. He saw only the cancer that was killing his lover, not the boat he'd promised to take her sailing on. He saw the cancer that was stealing away the person he loved more than life itself and he destroyed it. Splinters were flying everywhere and he didn't care. He saw only the disease that was taking away the mother of his son and he wanted to crush it to tiny pieces. As he methodically destroyed his pride and joy he raged in helpless anguish at the unfairness of their fate. In a frighteningly short amount of time, the boat that had taken him countless hours of loving attention to create was reduced to a scattering of shattered lumber. The entire floor was littered with it, small splinters were embedded in Jethro's shirt and he had at least one cut on his forehead from flying debris. He swiped at the blood that tricked down the side of his face.

Jethro was still shaking with rage as he surveyed the damage he'd inflicted. Tears filled his eyes and ran unchecked down his cheeks as he finally slumped down on the floor and leaned back against the leg of the work bench. He covered his face with his hands and cried tears of frustration and pain and unspoken fears. That's how Jenny found him when she stepped onto the landing into the basement to check on him. She had been outside for about forty-five minutes when she suddenly had a feeling something was wrong. The two of them had always communicated on an unspoken level and just then she knew she needed to go to her husband.

When she saw what he'd done to the boat Jenny was stunned into silence. When she saw him sitting on the floor amidst the destruction sobbing, she was spurred into action. Jenny carefully made her way down the stairs and kicking aside small pieces of lumber with her foot, she sat down beside Jethro and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Wordlessly he turned his face to her and let her hold him. Jenny ran one hand up and down his back soothingly and spoke her love quietly in his ear. After a minute or two Jethro gathered himself and sat back. Jenny reached for his hand and held on tight. Jethro swiped at his eyes and took several deep breaths to calm himself. At this point Jenny noticed the blood on his face and pulled him down so she could inspect the cut. It was minor and she decided he wasn't in the mood to deal with it now.

"Sorry, babe. I'm okay."

"No you're not and that's alright. Why the boat, Jethro?"

"I just….I'm so angry….I couldn't stand to look at it another minute."

"But Jethro you spent almost two years on her. You were almost finished. Why destroy her like this?"

Jethro stood up and reached down to pull Jenny to her feet. He started pacing back and forth, kicking pieces of the boat out of his way. He was working up some anger again and it showed in his voice which was loud and harsh sounding.

"Why? Because we're never going to sail her. The boat was for US and there is no US anymore! Or there won't be pretty soon. Why finish her now?"

He was yelling and pacing and Jenny was in some ways glad to hear him raise his voice and get angry. She hated the pain he was in but she wanted him to give voice to his feelings.

"This whole damn thing, this damn cancer is just not right. It's taking you away from me. I hate it! I hate that you got pregnant and couldn't fight the cancer. I hate that I wasn't here. I'm supposed to take care of you, protect you and I can't. Dammit Jen, I don't know what to do anymore!"

He stopped and stood in front of her and the tears came again and the look on his face broke her heart. She went to him and took him in her arms and held onto him for dear life as her own tears finally overwhelmed her control.

They stood in the middle of floor surrounded by the remnants of their boat and cried together for long, painful minutes. Eventually Jethro knew Jenny probably needed to get off her feet so he maneuvered them toward the stairs and helped her upstairs to the living room. He brushed some debris from her shirt and kissed her on the forehead.

"Let me get cleaned up. I'll be right back."

Jenny sank onto the couch and tried to get herself together. Jethro went outside and shook out his shirt and brushed all the splinters off himself. He went back to the kitchen and washed his hands and face and got them each a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. He took some deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. He seemed to be having trouble breathing and his stomach was in a knot. For one of the few times in his life, Jethro had no idea how to deal with what was happening in his life. The only person who could help him was waiting in the living room so that's where he went.

He handed Jenny her water but he didn't sit down. He was too wound up. He paced around the room and finally stopped in front of the fireplace.

"Talk to me Jethro."

He just shrugged and held his hands out in complete surrender. He didn't know where to start.

"Tell me what Ducky said to you last night. He did talk to you didn't he? That's where this is coming from right?"

She knew him so well.

"He said he was afraid I was going back to my old ways. Shutting down and not dealing with my feelings. I guess I showed him didn't I?"

"What feeling was that? I'm guessing anger from the looks of the basement but there's more. We have to say these things out loud, Jethro. You and I both."

"I know. Yes, I'm angry like I said. I know it's a waste of energy but I can't help it. I'm angry about the cancer, about being gone so long, about all the time we're losing. All of it."

"But…what you said about the pregnancy, you are happy about Matthew aren't you?"

He heard the doubt and worry in her voice and knew he needed to reassure her.

"Yes, god yes, Jen. I love him and I want him. I'll always love him and take care of him. He's the only thing that keeps me thinking I might survive without you. But, Jen I don't want to do it without you."

He sat down on the coffee table in front of her and she saw the tears in his eyes. She reached for his hands.

"Ducky said I needed to let you see how I'm feeling so you can let me see you're scared and sad too. How am I doing?"

"You're doing just fine, babe. I am so very sad to leave you. I never wanted to be away from you Jethro. I missed you every day we were apart from the first day I met you. All those years we wasted. I can't think about that now. I have to think about the days we have left. We have to live them. We have to make the most of them but I don't know how really."

"Are you mad, Jen?"

"Yes, sometimes but I think I got over that after the first month or so. I just couldn't be angry and fight for Matthew at the same time. I was very angry with myself for what I'd done to us but eventually I had to stop thinking about it."

"Are you scared?"

"Not any more. I was at first; all the time. I was scared about doing it by myself if you didn't come home. But as soon as I saw you in the hospital I wasn't afraid any more. I knew you'd take care of me and Matthew. I knew I could finally relax and let you be in charge. You have no idea how much that meant to me."

"I would have been here a lot sooner if I'd known. You know that don't you?"

"Yes, and I was wrong in the way I handled everything but I can't change that. All I can say is I'm sorry."

"No, that's not what I meant. I should have come home on my own. But, you're right, we can't fix that now."

"Jethro, are you scared?"

"More like worried I think. About raising Mattie by myself. I mean, I'll have to go back to work at some point and I don't know anything about raising a little boy. Alone."

"Of course you do! I'm sure you were a wonderful father to Kelly. You have a natural gift for connecting with children. And you won't be alone; you'll have Noemi. And Ducky and Ziva and Abby and the rest of them. You'll be a great dad, Jethro. Never doubt that."

"I was gone so much of Kelly's life. I don't want to miss anything with Matthew. But, dammit Jen, I'll need you beside me."

Jenny touched his chest over his heart and said, "I'll be right here, not beside you exactly but right here forever."

Jethro moved over and sat on the couch and wrapped her in his arms. They were quiet for a while and then Jenny shifted so she could see his face.

"After Shannon died did you ever think you'd fall in love again?"

"No."

Jethro knew where this was going and he knew there was no way to stop her so he didn't even try.

"So, when I said the other day I wanted you to be happy with someone again you know it's possible. I don't mean I want you to find someone just so Matthew has a mom but Jethro, if you do fall in love it's a good thing. You won't be putting me aside just like you didn't put Shannon aside when you let yourself love me."

"That took a long time. Mattie won't need a mom by that time."

"Don't be ridiculous! You had a lot of baggage to deal with back then. You're a different person now. I just mean I want you to be open to the idea. After a reasonable time of course."

He heard the laughter in her voice and saw that smile he loved so much and he couldn't help but laugh with her.

"What would you consider reasonable, Mrs. Gibbs?"

"Oh, I don't know fifteen or twenty years I guess."

"No point in it by then."

Jenny kissed him and then said, "The sooner you're happy again the better as far as I'm concerned. I mean that."

"I know."

Jethro believed Jenny but at that point he didn't expect to ever fall in love again. He'd find a way to be happy and be a good father but falling in love again didn't seem likely.

They talked quietly for another hour or so until there wasn't really anything more to say. At least not for that day. After almost two hours of talking, consoling each other and eventually laughing together, Jethro swept her into his arms and carried her upstairs.

"How about we try out this new bed?, he asked as he deposited her in the middle of it.

"Great idea."

They quickly shed their clothes and snuggled together under the sheets. The emotion of the afternoon quickly caught with both of them and before they knew it they were fast asleep. Jenny woke up first with Jethro spooned in behind her, his arm draped protectively over her middle. She lay very still and listened to his breathing. The feeling of her husband's warm body pressed against her was something Jenny never got enough of. For just a moment she cursed herself for ever allowing another man to be in the same bed with her. Then she forced that memory away and focused on the fact that she and Jethro were back together and exactly where they were supposed to be.

Pretty soon Jethro was awake and Jenny turned in his arms and kissed him softly on the mouth. One thing inevitably led to another and soon they were christening the new bed in the best way possible.

That day proved a turning point of sorts for the couple. They were more open with each other about how they were feeling every day and Jethro gave up trying to be the strong, stoic person he always thought he was supposed to be. They continued to spend most of their time together enjoying Matthew and each other. Jenny was beginning to feel weaker as the weeks went by and as June was coming to an end she sensed their time together was running out. Indeed their time now could be measured in weeks rather than months.

Matthew was a delight for his parents. He was a happy, sweet baby who rarely cried and was developing right on target. He babbled constantly and knew both of his parents by their voices. He slept and ate well and every day he made them laugh at some silly expression on his face. Matthew loved the water and was always happy to let his dad give him a bath. He was rolling around all over the floor and even threatening to crawl already.

One afternoon while Matthew was napping Jethro left to get some ice cream that Jenny was craving. Noemi had the afternoon off and Jenny assured her very protective husband she could manage for thirty minutes by herself.

"Matthew will still be asleep when you get back. I'm fine now go on and get me my ice cream."

Jethro reluctantly left promising he'd be back in less than thirty minutes. Five minutes later his phone rang. He'd been so worried about her being home alone he'd gone off and left it on the dresser. Jenny picked it up and saw a number she didn't recognize but she answered anyway.

"Hello."

A woman's voice Jenny didn't recognize responded, "I'm calling for Jethro Gibbs. Is this his phone?"

"Yes, this is his wife. Jethro is out right now. Can I help you?"

"Oh, Mrs. Gibbs this it Dr. Mendez, Ana, from El Rosario. Mike Franks asked me to call."

"Is Mike alright?"

"Yes, he asked me to call Jethro and tell him he is on his way there with the truck."

"Mike is coming here? But why didn't he call himself."

Ana laughed. "He said he didn't want Jethro to try and talk him out of coming. He should be there tomorrow."

"This will be interesting. Well I guess we better get the guest room ready."

"Yes, well that is the message."

Ana had something she wanted to say to Jenny but she wasn't sure she should. She had been so worried about Jethro these last few months that she'd almost called him several times. The news that Mike had shared with her about the baby had been wonderful but the rest of the news was of course, heartbreaking. Jenny seemed to sense there was more Ana wanted to say.

"Was there something else, Doctor?"

"Yes, there is in fact. Mrs. Gibbs I just wanted to tell you first congratulations on the baby. I'm sure you and Jethro are thrilled. But more importantly I wanted to say how terribly sorry I am about your diagnosis. I wanted you to know that while Jethro was here he missed you terribly. I feel partly responsible for him being away from you for so long and I wanted to apologize for that. If he hadn't been working for me he would have been home with you much sooner."

Jenny heard the genuine concern and care in Ana's voice and she knew this woman cared very much about Jethro. Like Mike, Jenny was well aware of the effect Jethro had on women. She could well imagine this young doctor developing feelings for her lonesome, brooding husband.

"Ana, please don't carry that burden a moment longer. Jethro makes his own decisions and between us we both made some bad ones last year. He was where he wanted and needed to be. From what I've heard he needed you and your project to keep his sanity and for that I thank you. And for the stitches I also understand he needed. You do very neat work."

"Thank you. May I ask how you're feeling?"

"Of course. Every day I seem to be tired more easily. Honestly, I feel like time is slipping away fairly quickly these days. I'm not expecting more than a couple more months."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Jethro is a good man and from what I observed he loves you more than his own life. I'm sure he'd trade places with you if he could."

"Yes, I know he would. Thank you for saying that. Ana, I don't know your circumstances of course but I'll say this anyway; Jethro will need every friend he has when I'm gone. I hope you will keep that in mind. If you can put up with Mike Franks you must be a tough lady."

Ana laughed, "Yes, Mike is a challenge. Jethro has friends here if he needs us. I will keep you both in my prayers. Good luck with Mike."

"He's the one who'll need the luck. Thank you for calling, Ana. Goodbye."

Jenny put the phone down and went to sit in Matthew's room to watch him sleep. She felt such overwhelming love and joy when she looked at her son but those feelings were tempered by a profound sadness that she would not see him grow up. Jenny had no real faith to hold onto and no deep belief in the afterlife. She hoped there was a place called heaven and she'd be able to get in but she had no illusions. Today she was content to watch her baby sleep and imagine the fun things he and his daddy would do in the years to come.

Jethro arrived back home twenty three minutes after he left and was quick to let Jenny know just exactly how long he'd been gone. He coaxed her out of Mattie's room with a bowl of chocolate ice cream. They settled in their room, Jenny on the bed and Jethro in the chair, and feasted on ice cream in the middle of the day.

"You left your phone here, did you know that?"

"Nope."

"You had a call."

He saw she had a very mischievous glint in her eyes and he started to worry just a little bit. He wasn't sure why but that look had almost always meant trouble in the past.

"You gonna tell me who it was?"

"Ana."

Jethro was so surprised he almost choked. He hadn't thought about Ana in months and he couldn't imagine why she was calling.

"Really?" Then he suddenly got worried. "Is something wrong with Mike?"

"No. In fact he's on his way here and should arrive tomorrow. He asked Ana to call and tell you he's bringing your truck back to you."

"I don't understand. Why didn't he just call himself?"

"Apparently he didn't want you to try and talk him out of it. I don't know why, considering the two of you always seem to enjoy a good argument. I'll ask Noemi to get the guest room ready for him."

"You want him to stay here?"

"Of course. You don't want him in a hotel do you? We have plenty of room."

"It's just….the two of you don't exactly get along."

"Jethro, really? I think under the circumstances I can manage to be nice to the man. I'm glad he's coming in fact. You need him here and you miss your truck."

"Yeah, I do miss the truck."

Jenny really wanted to ask Jethro about Ana and his reaction to hearing she'd called but she decided Mike would be a better source of the information she wanted than her husband would be.

Mike arrived just after lunch the next day. Jenny was in the kitchen with Matthew and Noemi when Jethro answered the door and welcomed his friend into their home. Jenny and Noemi exchanged knowing looks at the sound of his voice.

"He sounds just the same."

"Yes, Noemi he does. I'm glad he's here though. Jethro needs him here."

"Yes, you are right."

Matthew as babbling at his mom from the high chair when his daddy and Mike walked into the kitchen.

"Hello Mike, welcome."

"Thank you, Madame Director."

"Not anymore. I'm not in charge anymore."

"Aww, you'll always be in charge. At least of this one," he said as he punched Jethro on the arm.

"For a little while longer anyway."

Mike looked uncomfortable suddenly. "Sorry, I …."

"No, we talk about it Mike. The dying thing that is. It's fine. Come in and meet our pride and joy."

Mike came around and looked down at Matthew. The little boy looked up and gave him a smile.

"Damn, Probie, he looks just like you."

"Yeah I guess. Cuter I think."

"Definitely."

Mike put his hand on Jenny's shoulder. "He's fantastic. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you Mike. Would you like some lunch? We just finished but there's plenty left if you'd like some. Chicken salad and chips."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

Mike sat next to Jenny and Jethro helped Noemi get him some lunch. The three of them talked and enjoyed a nice visit while Mike finished off the salad and chips and a beer. Jenny excused herself to the living room to rest and Jethro took Matthew out to the truck with Mike.

"How you holdin' up Probie?"

"Okay I guess. Sorry I haven't called you lately. Time just gets away from me."

"No problem. How's Jenny holdin' up?"

"Better than me most days. She's slipping away from me Mike."

Jethro's voice was thick with emotion and he hugged Matthew tightly as he looked at his mentor and friend with sad eyes.

"You've had it both ways now; sudden and drawn out. Neither one is good. You just gonna have to suck it up Marine and get through it. I'd like to stay a while if it's not a problem."

"No problem. I'd like that. You need to get to know this little guy."

"Ana sends her love. She worries about you. And Jenny too but mostly about you."

Jethro didn't know what to say to that so he didn't say anything. Matthew wanted to get down so they walked around to the back yard where he could sit on his blanket in the grass. The two men talked about nothing important and watched Mattie roll around and babble to the sky.

The next day Jenny sent Jethro and Mike back to the house to clean up the remains of the boat. She had asked Ziva to come to the house and she didn't want Jethro there for what they were going to talk about. Jenny had been making lists for weeks and now she and Ziva were going over them and Jenny was telling Ziva what she wanted done with her personal things. Jethro had already told Jenny he didn't want to deal with her clothes and things like that. He had indicated to her what he wanted to keep of her personal stuff as he called it and the rest he said she should decide about.

As Jenny and Ziva sat in the bedroom taking about the lists and going through Jenny's closet, Ziva noted Jenny's quiet, serious demeanor. She sensed things were changing for her friend and it made her sad.

"I think all these clothes should go to that place that gives clothes to women who need something for jobs or interviews, you know the one I'm thinking of?"

"Yes, I do. Abby has told me about it. I will see that it happens. Shoes too, I suppose."

"Yes, everything. I suspect Jethro will move to his house rather quickly and you can come in and pack up all this closet and the dresser. I know this is a lot to ask of you Ziva but I don't have anyone else and I don't want Jethro to have to deal with it. Noemi will have her hands full with him and Matthew."

"It is fine Jenny. I want to help. What of the rest of the things in the house?"

"Jethro will take all of Mattie's things of course but really I don't expect he will want much else from here. He has everything he'll need at his house. Noemi will manage the kitchen so whatever she tells him she wants she'll have."

Jenny sat down in the chair and Ziva perched on the edge of bed watching her.

"Talk to me Jenny."

"I'll feeling like time is almost run out. Maybe a few more weeks but not much more. I feel weaker every day like things are starting to shut down. I have very little appetite these days. All I want to do is hold Matthew or be held by Jethro."

"Then that is what you should do. Do not deny yourself those moments. I am sure Jethro would be happy to accommodate your wishes. He adores you, you know that."

"Yes I do. When I look at him I know how lucky I've been. Even with everything that's happened he still loves me. And I love him."

Jenny felt the tears coming and she didn't try to stop them.

"I don't want to leave him, Ziva. Or Mattie. God, I just thought we'd have so much time. When I learned I was pregnant I start dreaming of the life the three of us would have. I was counting the days until I could tell him about the baby and then the day I knew I was going to call him I got the other news. My dreams lasted exactly seventy-five days."

"Jenny, you have given Jethro the greatest gift possible. I cannot imagine the sadness you are feeling. I wish I could say something that would make it better but we both know that is impossible. All I can say is he and Matthew will be loved and we will all help Jethro as much as we can."

"I know you will. He's worried about raising Matthew alone and to a large extent he will be doing just that but I've told him you will all help. I think he feels the loss of his job and his team very sharply right now. For that I have to take the blame. We don't talk about it of course but I still feel responsible because I am. That is my only regret."

"You must put that aside. Everything happens for a reason, Jenny. We may not know the reason now but some day we will. The most important thing is today. Matthew and Jethro and you. That is all that matters now."

"You're right. Thank you Ziva. You have been a wonderful friend. Now, tell me about Tony. How are you two doing?"

Ziva laughed and was happy to see the mischief in her friend's eyes.

"We are fine. Rule twelve has been totally and irrevocably broken!"

"Good for you. I never liked that rule anyway!"

"No I am sure you did not!"

When Mike had been there for about a week Jethro took Matthew to the pediatrician for his six month check up leaving Mike and Jenny at home alone. Jethro left right after breakfast and Mike found Jenny sitting in the shade on the back deck.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No, come sit. It's such a nice morning I hated to be stuck inside."

"You didn't want to go with Jethro and the baby?"

"The doctor's office isn't really a good place for me these days. Too many germs. Although all things considered I don't guess a cold germ would hurt me much."

"I suppose not."

"Really it's just too much walking and waiting for me. Besides, Jethro will be the one going from now on so he might as well get started."

"You have a good attitude about all this. I'm impressed. Not surprised but impressed."

"Thank you. Jethro and I talk about it a lot which helps. Having you here helps too. I'm glad you stayed, Mike. Never thought I'd say that!"

They laughed at that. Mike was used to a lot of silence so he was comfortable just sitting with Jenny and enjoying the day. Jenny however had things she wanted to know and Mike was her only source of information.

"I'm impressed that you quit smoking."

"That was Dr. Ana's doin'. She threatened to stop takin' care of me if I didn't quit."

"She must be very persuasive."

"She is. So was a bad case of pneumonia. Got sick right after Probie left. Nearly died I guess. After that, a smoke didn't sound all that good to me."

"No, I don't suppose it would. Mike, tell me about Ana."

Mike was suddenly very alert. He looked at the former director of NCIS and was reminded of her skill in the interrogation room. He thought he should be very careful here.

As if she was reading his mind Jenny said, "Don't hold back on me, Mike. I talked to her when she called to say you were on your way. Please tell me about her and what went on in Mexico."

"First of all nothing went on. Nothing at all I promise you that. Jethro would not let anything happen. He loves you and you only."

"You can say it; he wouldn't cheat on me."

"No he wouldn't it. He was absolutely miserable when he got there. He moped around the cabin for weeks before I finally got him to do some projects for me. Then he fell through the roof and cut his leg pretty bad."

"Yes, he told me about that. That's when he met Ana, right?"

"Yeah, I took him in to the clinic she has in town and she sewed him up and put a brace on his wrist."

Mike went on to tell Jenny the story of Ana's uncle being the town doctor for so long and how he started the new clinic but died before it could get very far along. He told her how Jethro had decided to do the work for Ana as a way of keeping himself busy.

"She fell in love with him didn't she?"

"Well yeah, I think she did. But he didn't encourage her. In fact he told her in no uncertain terms he was coming back here to you and he was going to fix his marriage. Ana told him that was what he should do; that this was where he belonged. She's a good person, Jenny. You'd like her."

"But he liked her didn't he? I mean if there was no wife to come back to….would he….you know."

"Yes I think so. Look if you're askin' me if they could get together later then I guess I'd say yes. But, damn Jenny that's a hard thing for me to say under the circumstances and considerin' who I'm talkin' to."

"I know Mike and I appreciate your honesty. I'm not asking you to play matchmaker. I guess I just wanted to know if there might already be someone out there who could come into Jethro's life in the future and be a person he could love. That's all."

"Then yes, I think Ana could be that person."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Betrayal**

Chapter 13

That was the end of the conversation and when Jethro came home half an hour later the two of them were still sitting on the back deck enjoying the day. He walked out the back door and smiled at the sight of his crusty old mentor and his beautiful wife sitting together drinking coffee.

"Hey, you two what's goin' on out here?"

"Hi, just enjoying the morning. How was the checkup?"

"Perfect of course. He fell asleep in the car so I put him in his bed. Everything was fine. The nurses love him and said he's the cutest baby in the practice."

"You realize they tell every parent that right?"

"I don't realize that at all. He is the cutest baby in the county that's for sure."

"You're right Probie."

"What are you two talking about out here?"

"Your adventures in Mexico. I was about to ask Mike for some stories from your Probie days."

"Oh well I've got some of those for sure. Let me get a refill first."

Mike went in for more coffee and Jethro leaned down to give Jenny a kiss.

"How're you feeling?"

"Okay. I'm so glad to be outside."

"It's a good day to be out for sure. Listen, a buddy of mine has a boat on the Potomac in DC and he's invited us to join him for the Fourth of July to watch the fireworks. You think you're up to that?"

"Oh yes, that would be wonderful. But what about Mattie? It would be too loud for him."

"Noemi already said she'd stay with him. I'll call Ron and tell him we're in."

Mike came back with his coffee and one for Jethro. For the next couple of hours he told stories of his and Jethro's early years together. Jenny hadn't laughed so much in a very long time. Jethro knew Mike was embellishing some things but overall he had to admit the stories were true. Seeing Jenny laughing and having fun did his heart a lot of good.

"My goodness, Jethro I'm surprised you ever managed to earn your own team. And solve so many big cases."

"I admit it was a little bit of a slow start but once I got the hang of it you have to admit I did okay."

"You did better than okay. You were the best. I know you miss it and I'm sorry for that."

The conversation had suddenly taken a serious turn and neither of them really wanted to go there.

"Stop. That's the past and we agreed we don't need to rehash the past. Except for stories like Mike's telling. I'm right where I want to be and there is nothing for you to be sorry about."

"Okay. You're right. Mike, tell me about you and Leon."

"Oh boy that's a good one. Go ahead Mike tell her."

Mike launched into another story about how he and Leon Vance the new director had met. Jenny wasn't one hundred percent sure about Leon and she was actually sort of glad Jethro didn't work for him. That might not have ended so well. By the time Mike was finished Jenny was once again laughing and the mood was back where Jethro wanted it to be.

Noemi appeared at the back door with Matthew and Jethro took him from her and deposited him in his mom's lap. Mattie laid on his mom's shoulder, still drowsy from his short nap. Jenny rubbed his back and held on tightly to her sweet boy. Jethro tried to imprint the image on his brain, his wife holding his son was something he knew he wasn't going to be seeing for very much longer.

The Fourth of July celebration was a wonderful success and worth all the effort it took to make it happen. Traffic just getting to the marina was terrible of course but once they were there Ron and his wife were very gracious hosts and they all had a great day. The fireworks were spectacular as usual and being on the water seemed to alleviate some of the discomfort of the hot day. Jenny and Donna, Ron's wife, spent a lot of their time in the air-conditioned cabin while Ron and Jethro sat on the deck and drank beer and talked about old times. Even though they didn't know each other, Jenny and Donna found they had a lot in common and conversation was easy between them.

On the way home Jenny fell asleep in the car and when they got home Jethro carried her in the house and straight up to bed. She barely woke up as he got her undressed and settled in bed. Jethro went to check on Matthew who of course was sound asleep in his own bed. Noemi was in the kitchen doing a crossword puzzle.

"Is Jenny alright?"

"Yes, she fell asleep in the car is all. She had a great time and everything was fine. How was our boy today?"

"He was fine of course. He really likes Mike you know."

"Yeah, he does. Where is Mike by the way?"

"He went with Dr. Mallard and said he would stay the night there. May I ask you a question?"

"Of course. What's on your mind?"

"The time for Miss Jenny, it is not much longer is it?"

"No I don't think so, Noemi. I'm sorry."

"No, Senor Jethro, I am sorry. I am sorry for you and baby Matthew. But I want to say something to you. You have made Miss Jenny very happy. Before you came she was not so happy and when you first came here I did not think you were the right person for her but I was wrong. You know I know Jenny for a very long time and I love her like my own daughter. When I see her with you I know you are the one who can make her happy and you did. When you left she was very sad but I know why you left and you were right to go when you did. But you were right to come back too. I'm sorry, it is not my place to say that."

"Noemi, your place is to say whatever you want. You are family and we can talk about these things. Jenny and I have talked about it and put it behind us. If I made Jenny happy it's only because she saved my life. I was a terrible mess when we met and having her in my life is the best thing that ever happened to me. You and I are going to lose a very important person in our lives and we will have to help each other get through it. Right?"

"You are right. Now, I'm going home. I will see you tomorrow."

"Noemi, you take the morning off. And thank you for everything."

"You're welcome. I'll see you before lunch tomorrow."

For the next two weeks Jenny did exactly what she'd told Ziva she wanted to do; she spent all her time with Matthew and Jethro. When the baby was asleep she asked that he be next to her on the couch or the bed and if he was taking a bottle she held him. She couldn't bathe him herself but she was always there when Jethro had him in the bathtub. She read him stories and got on the floor with him just to be close to him. Jethro was never far from her side and now rarely left the house. Any errands that needed to be done were handled by Noemi or Mike.

One morning near the end of July Jethro was sitting on the bed watching Jenny get dressed. As he watched her moving slowly around the room he noticed she has lost weight. He knew he shouldn't be surprised and he wasn't really but he just hadn't noticed. He hadn't seen her naked in the light of day recently and when they were in bed he wasn't paying attention to her weight. Jenny turned and caught him looking at her.

"What?"

"You've lost weight."

It was all he could think to say.

"Yes."

They just looked at each other for long, agonizing moments. Jenny sat beside him on the bed.

"My time is running out lover."

His voice thick with emotion and so quiet she barely heard him, Jethro said, "I don't want you to go, Jen."

"I know."

Jenny put her arms around him and they sat there on the end of the bed in silence for a long time. There was nothing to say that hadn't already been said at least a dozen times. Something neither of them wanted was happening and they couldn't stop it or even postpone it. Fate had blessed them and cursed them at the same time and they just had to get through it.

One day the following week Jenny told Jethro at breakfast, "Leo is coming over today at eleven to go over some papers with us."

"What papers."

"The trust paperwork and the trust for Matthew and the house papers. I just want to make sure everything is in order. You did talk to Abby last week didn't you?"

"Yes, she's fine with it."

When Leo left that afternoon all their business was in order. A trust fund Jenny had been given by her grandparents that was still intact had been transferred to Matthew. All of Jenny's property was already in a trust with Jethro as the sole trustee so that didn't need to be changed. However, Jethro had a similar trust with Jenny as his trustee so that needed to be updated. Jethro had designated Abby as his trustee, a job she had only reluctantly agreed to accept the previous week. By the time Leo left Jethro had a headache which was his usual reaction to spending any time with a lawyer.

As July came to an end Jenny was finding it harder and harder to get up some days. She was barely eating anything at all and she took several naps each day. She could feel herself slipping away and try as she might she just couldn't find the energy to fight it sometimes. Jethro saw her fading away from him and every day the hollow feeling in his gut grew just little bit more.

One morning in the first week of August Jethro was up first and went down for coffee leaving Jenny asleep. When he returned almost an hour later she was still asleep and he couldn't rouse her. He called her name over and over, kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms and back and finally she opened her eyes for him.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Can you wake up for me?"

"Sure."

Jenny tried to sit up but she was very weak and quickly gave up and fell back on her pillow.

"Jen, wake up for me. Come on, I need you to wake up."

Jenny smiled at him and said, "I'm awake. Just give me a minute. Help me up."

Jethro helped her sit up and wrapped her in his arms. She felt so small in his embrace that he was afraid he would crush her. When had she gotten so tiny? When they had gone to bed last night she was fine. They had even made love, slowly and carefully but still, they'd made love. Now she could barely wake up. Jethro was suddenly very afraid. He held her close and tried to calm his mind.

Jenny finally moved away and sat on her own.

"Wow, I'm so worn out this morning. What did you do to me last night, Gunny?"

"Nothing special. Well, no it was special but nothing unusual I mean."

"Let me see if I can get up."

Jethro helped her stand and when she was steady he let her walk by herself to the bathroom. He stayed right beside her though in case she faltered. When she came out of the bathroom, Jenny went right back to the bed.

"I think I'll stay here for just a bit. Could you get me some coffee?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

Before he was out the door Jenny was back asleep. Jethro went to the kitchen and called Ducky as he poured Jenny a cup of coffee he was sure she wasn't going to drink.

"Dr. Mallard here."

"Ducky can you come over here?"

"Yes, of course. What's happened?"

"I could barely wake Jen this morning. She's really weak and as soon as she'd been up for five minutes she wanted to go back to bed. She's been sleeping a lot the last few days."

"I'm on my way."

Mike and Noemi had overheard Jethro's call as they were sitting in the kitchen having coffee.

"Probie?"

"Just like I said, she can barely wake up."

When Ducky arrived forty-five minutes later Jenny was awake and sitting up against the headboard while Jethro sat on the side of the bed.

"Ah, I see our lovely patient is awake. Good morning Jennifer."

"Good morning Ducky. I'm sorry to have you come over this morning."

"Nonsense. I always enjoy getting out of the building on a lovely summer day. Especially to see one of my favorite people. Jethro why don't you give us the room?"

"Sure, Duck."

Jethro got up and Ducky took his place on the bed. When they were alone, Ducky took her hand and asked Jenny how she was feeling.

"I can barely stay awake, Ducky. The last week or so I've slept a lot. I feel like the sand is nearly run out. Things seem to be shutting down."

"Any pain?"

"Not really. Not enough that I want to be knocked out. Not yet."

"Alright let's have a listen."

Ducky did as much of an examination as he could and by the time he was finished Jenny was nearly asleep again.

"Jenny, I know you can feel yourself slipping away. I know you want to fight that as long as you can but if you are in pain please take something."

"I will."

"Now, my dear let me tell you something. I don't think I ever told you how proud I was of you when you became Director. I'm sorry for that. More importantly I'm very proud of the life you and Jethro made together. I know it wasn't easy but you persevered and you two did well for each other. I love you Jennifer as if you were my own. I promise you, I will look after Jethro and Matthew."

"Thank you Ducky. You have been a treasure for Jethro and I and we probably wouldn't have survived each other without your help. I love you."

"You rest now. I'll send Jethro back in."

Ducky kissed her on the forehead and helped her settle back under the covers. As Jenny closed her eyes, Ducky wiped his eyes and stood up to leave. The whole situation was heartbreaking for him.

Jethro was pacing around the living room when Ducky walked in.

"Well?"

"She's dying Jethro. Not today probably but within the next few days I'd say. Her heart is weak and I suspect her kidneys are shutting down. Her breathing is somewhat labored. Basically, her systems are shutting down."

"Is she in pain?"

"She says no. I suspect some but maybe not intolerable. Not for her at least."

Jethro sank down into a chair and dropped his face into his hands. For all their talk about being prepared and knowing what was coming, he was not at all ready. He wanted to scream or hit something or both.

Mike was standing in the doorway and heard everything Ducky said.

"What can we do, Ducky?

"Nothing really. Stay close. Make her comfortable. I'm so sorry Jethro. There is really no way to prepare for this, not really."

"No there isn't. Thank you Duck. I'll call you."

Jethro stood up to go upstairs and Ducky intercepted him and embraced him. Jethro hugged his friend fiercely. Then, without a word he stepped back and went upstairs to his wife. Mike walked Ducky to his car.

"What should we expect in the next day or so?"

"She'll sleep more and more. Eventually she just won't be able to fully wake up. I suspect she will simply drift away. Two days, maybe three. If she sleeps all that time be sure to move her every few hours. That will help keep her as comfortable as possible. Keep your eye on Jethro."

"You can count on that. Thank you."

About two hours later Jenny woke up. Jethro had laid down beside her about an hour earlier and he had fallen asleep holding her hand. Now she was fully awake and turned on her side to look at her sleeping husband. She brushed her fingertips over his face and he woke up immediately.

"Hey, you're awake."

"Yes I am."

Jethro sat up against the headboard and Jenny snuggled into his side. They held hands and Jethro kissed her.

"I love you."

"Jethro, it's happening. I can feel it."

"Not yet. Not today, Jen."

"No, not today."

"I love you with all my heart and soul, Jen. And I always will."

"And I love you with everything I have. Promise me you will be happy again."

"I promise. But not yet. Not today."

Jenny smiled her best smile at him and said, "No not today."

Jethro pulled her onto his lap and held her until she fell asleep in his arms.

Jenny didn't die that day or the next but on the third day she just couldn't wake up. Jethro never left her side from that first day on. Several times Noemi brought Matthew in and when he had fallen asleep, Jethro put him in bed with is mom. Jethro, Noemi and Mike kept vigil and Ducky came on the morning of the third day. He told Jethro what his friend already knew; Jenny's death was imminent.

Late that afternoon, Jenny's breathing became irregular and very labored. Jethro knew what was happening. He leaned over and kissed Jenny and she opened her eyes for the first time that day.

"Baby can you hear me?"

Jenny blinked at him and squeezed his hand. Tears filled his eyes.

"Jenny, it's okay. Don't be afraid. I love you and it's okay for you to go. Mattie and I will be okay. Don't be afraid baby."

Jenny blinked and squeezed his hand again. Jethro kissed her again and she gave him one last beautiful smile then she closed her eyes for the last time. She took a few more shallow breaths and then she was gone. Jethro held her in his arms for a long time then he kissed her one last time and laid her back down. He pulled the sheet over her and went out closing the door behind him.

When Mike saw Jethro come down the stairs and head for the back yard he knew Jenny was gone. Jethro had not left the bedroom for three days so when he appeared downstairs they all understood what it meant. Ducky went up to see Jenny and Mike went out behind Jethro. Noemi went to Matthew and held him while she cried.

Jethro was out in the yard, his hands fisted at his sides. He just stood very still for a long time and then he turned around and saw Mike watching him. He thought for sure he'd cried all his tears out but he was wrong. Jethro went to the deck and sat on the steps and sobbed. Mike sat down next to him and put his arm around his Probie's shoulders. Jethro held his head in his hands and let go of everything he'd been holding onto for the last three days. He had talked almost nonstop to Jenny those three days, he'd held her and lay beside her afraid to go to sleep for fear she'd die while he slept, and he'd never left her for more than the time it took him to go to the bathroom and back. She had been aware of him there he knew that and it helped but not a lot. Jethro wanted very much to lose himself in a bottle of bourbon and then crawl into a dark place and stay there. There was only one reason he hadn't already opened that bottle; Matthew.

After a while Jethro gathered himself and wiped his eyes with the tail of his shirt.

"I'm sorry Jethro. More sorry than I can tell you."

"Thanks Mike. You know I think Jenny actually came to like you these last few weeks."

"Course she did. I'm very likable."

The two men shared a small laugh at that.

"Only one reason for me to take the next breath, Mike."

"I know but he's a pretty damn good reason. You know Jenny will bring down the wrath of God on you if you don't do right by that boy."

"Ya think?"

Ducky came out on the deck and Jethro and Mike got up.

"I've called the funeral home as the letter you gave me instructed. They will make all the arrangements. You have already arranged with the cemetery I gather."

"Yeah, it's all set. I just need to tell them when."

"Jethro, I'm very proud of how you've handled all this. Jenny was probably the best thing that ever happened to you and you were certainly a blessing to her. Hold onto that."

"Thanks Duck. I know this has been hard for you too. Jenny loved you."

Mike spoke up and said, "Whatever you need Jethro you know we're here for you."

Jethro went through the next several days in a fog. People came and went and he didn't always know who they were. The only thing that kept him going was Matthew. The little boy didn't know what was happening of course but he seemed to sense something was amiss. There were too many people in his house and his mommy wasn't one of them. He became very clingy with both Noemi and Jethro. Mike was the about the only other person he could be happy with but that was only for short periods of time. He preferred his daddy hold him most of the time. With all the activity in the house his schedule was all messed up. Jethro spent as much time with him as he could and tried his best to keep him happy. Noemi was a huge help of course but she was also busy in the kitchen so Matthew was mostly his daddy's responsibility. And his dad was just fine with that.

Finally the memorial service and the burial were over. Jethro returned to the townhouse from the cemetery and put Matthew down for his nap. Noemi and Mike were downstairs. Jethro stood in the master bedroom and looked at the bed where he and Jenny had made love, laughed and cried, argued and made up so many times. He felt as empty as he could ever remember. He missed her. He ached for her and now he was never going to have her in his arms again. Jethro knew eventually he would have to move on; there was a little boy across the hall depending on him.

Jethro stood in Jenny's closet and fingered her favorite clothes. He held them to his face and inhaled her scent. Tears stained his cheeks and he brushed them away. It had been over a week since Jethro had slept more than a couple of hours at a time and he was very close to physically and emotionally collapsing. He had to get out of the townhouse and figure out what his life was going to be for the next however many years. He had to make a life for himself and his son.

Pulling two suitcases and a duffle bag out of his closet Jethro began packing. While Matthew slept his daddy packed all his clothes and toiletries and carried them to the truck. Mike saw what was happening and he began helping. He agreed that Jethro needed to get to his own house and figure out how to move forward. No time like the present thought Mike as he took another armful of clothes to the truck.

Jethro found Noemi in the kitchen. They had already discussed the move and Noemi was prepared to start her new future with Jethro and Mattie.

"Mike and I are taking my stuff to the house. Mattie is asleep and I'll be back for him. I want you to take a couple of days off. Then you and I will go through the kitchen stuff and take whatever you want or need to my house. Okay?"

"I don't need time off. I need to help."

Jethro considered her and understood what she was saying. He didn't blame her; the idea of not having anything to do scared him too.

"Okay. Come to the house tomorrow and see what's in the kitchen there and then we can come over here and get what you want. How's that sound?"

"Better. You will be okay, you and Matthew will be fine."

"So will you Noemi but it might take us a while. But you're right, we'll be okay."

When he and Mike got back to the townhouse Matthew was up and playing with Noemi so the two men took the opportunity to move his things to the house. Jethro disassembled the baby bed and once everything was loaded he and Mike made another trip to Jethro's house. When they arrived, Tony and Ziva were waiting in the driveway.

"I called the house to talk to you and Noemi said you were moving and thought you might need some help."

"Thanks you two. I appreciate it."

The four of them made quick work of getting everything inside. Jethro and Tony put the bed back together while Ziva unpacked Matthew's clothes. Jethro had set up a long table against one wall and she stacked the clothes there for the time being. That would have to suffice until Jethro had time to get the planned wall unit built. She took all the baby's bath things and put them in the hall bathroom.

"I think that's about it. Thanks for the help."

"No problem. You staying here tonight?"

"Yes. I can't be in that house without Jen there."

"Why don't you get Matthew and come on back and Ziva and I will order some pizzas and we can have supper and welcome Matthew to his new home."

"That sounds good. You sure you don't have plans for tonight? It is Friday after all."

"Tony and I have no plans. We would like to spend the evening with you if that is alright."

Jethro saw the tears in Ziva's eyes and pulled her in for a hug.

"It's very alright. If the rest of the group wants to join us that'd be good too. You two make yourselves at home and we'll be back with Mattie."

When Jethro arrived back home with Mike and Mattie the whole team including Ducky, Jimmy and Abby were there. Seeing their cars in the driveway Jethro hesitated for a moment.

"You sure you want to do this, Probie?"

"Yeah, I think I need this. There will be plenty of time for me to be sad and alone and miserable. Tonight I think we all need some relief. Some laughter and friends to share the sadness."

"I think you're right."

Abby came out the front door smiling and clapping for Mattie. The little boy shrieked with joy at seeing the familiar face and happily let Abby take him from his daddy. Jethro felt a little weight lift from his soul when he walked in his house and saw "his team" enjoying themselves and welcoming his son into his new home. Whatever hardships and pain lay ahead for him, Jethro truly knew in that moment that he was not alone.

That night was more of a celebration of Jenny's life than anything else had been that week. They all laughed at many stories about Jethro and Jenny. They toasted her and cried together but mostly they laughed and enjoyed being together to remember a woman who had been so important to each of them in a different way. Jethro could not have asked for a better first night in his house without Jenny.

Mike stayed another week and helped Jethro go through the townhouse to gather the things he wanted to keep. There were some books and a few personal items of Jenny's that he wanted but most everything would go to an estate sale business. The realtor came over and they made arrangements to put the townhouse on the market. Noemi had gone through Jethro's kitchen and finding very little there she liked, she packed up most of Jenny's kitchen to take to the house. She tried not to make Jethro feel bad about his kitchen and he assured her he wasn't upset.

"Remember, I haven't lived here in a long time and when I did there wasn't much cooking goin' on."

"I know but there is really nothing here that I can use."

"The appliances are all new!"

"Yes, and they are wonderful but you have one pan and that is about all. We will bring Miss Jenny's kitchen over here. Okay?"

"Yes, of course. But, I want to get new dishes so don't bring those."

Noemi smiled at him and patted him arm. She understood. He needed to start new and she would try to help him do that. She wasn't sure new dishes would make much difference but if it helped him she was all for it.

By the end of the week everything was pretty much settled with the townhouse and the Gibbs boys were mostly settled in their house. Noemi would come over every day about nine o'clock or so. Jethro assured her he could handle breakfast and she appreciated that he needed time and space to get used to his new life. She and Jenny had had long talks about that very subject so Noemi was open to doing things a bit differently now. She would be there until four o'clock most days and have something ready for supper when she left. She wouldn't be working on weekends. She and Jethro agreed they would see how this schedule worked until he went back to work and then they would most likely have to make some changes.

Mike flew home on Saturday and though Jethro was sorry to see him go, he wanted to get on with life and that couldn't happen until things go back to some form of normal.

"I can't thank you enough for being here. I didn't know I needed you here but I sure as hell did."

"I'm glad I could help. Give yourself some time, Jethro and you'll be okay. You and Jenny had a great thing and now you have a wonderful little boy to carry that on. Come see me."

"When Mattie is a little older and he can enjoy the beach and the water we'll be there. I'll keep in touch."

"You better."

Saturday afternoon Jethro returned home with Matthew and it was just the two of them for the very first time. He stood in the hallway holding his son and looked around at his almost new house. Everything was just as Jenny had envisioned it years ago. Suddenly Jethro felt very tired and since it was time for Mattie's nap he figured he would join him. With the baby settled in his bed, Jethro turned on the baby monitor beside his bed, stripped down to his boxers and collapsed on the bed. He was asleep in two minutes and didn't move until Matthew woke up three hours later.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Betrayal**

Chapter 14

Jethro, Matthew and Noemi settled into a routine and things moved along fairly smoothly. Jethro spent almost a month building a wall unit in the baby's room complete with drawers, shelves and cubbies for all manner of toys, books and clothes. He also built a toy chest for downstairs and a sandbox and swing set in the back yard. The swing set had a bucket seat for babies and Matthew loved swinging. He would laugh and wave his arms around and babble nonstop as his daddy pushed him way up high.

As the days and weeks passed Jethro had his good days and some not so good days. He missed Jenny terribly and on those days when he couldn't seem to get her off his mind nothing seemed to help. He tried to stay busy and Matthew was a big help in that department but since the little boy was in bed by seven o'clock every night the evenings and nights were long and lonesome. Ducky checked in regularly and some member of Jethro's NCIS family called every few days. Still, there were many long, dark nights that Jethro wandered around the house trying to find some peace of mind. On those nights he was very glad he had a son upstairs asleep; otherwise he knew, he would be deep in a bottle of bourbon. He considered starting another boat but he just wasn't ready for that. During one of these long, lonesome nights near the end of September Jethro concluded he needed to go back to work.

The morning after his realization that he needed a job, Jethro called Mark in San Diego. They had talked briefly just days after Jenny's death and Mark had reminded him of his earlier job offer.

"Hey, buddy how are things in sunny California?"

"Jethro, it's good to hear your voice. You doin' okay?"

"Good days and bad but mostly good. Mattie keeps me busy and happy."

"But you're ready to get back to work right?"

"Yeah, I think it's time. Do you have time to talk now?"

"As a matter of fact I don't. We're on our way out the door headed to the in-laws for the weekend. I'll be coming out your way next week though. Your timing is perfect. I need a new guy out there and I want you to be that guy. How about I call you when I get to DC on Tuesday and we can get together?"

"Perfect. Can I pick you up?"

"I'll get a car but you can invite me over for lunch and to meet your little one."

"Consider it done. I'll see you on Tuesday."

By the time Mark left the next Saturday morning Jethro was once again employed. He would be doing threat assessments and security planning for clients of Mark's company. The clients represented everyone from visiting diplomats to the US Government and influential business people. He would be doing mostly field work but it was all planning and site inspections, not personal security work and no one would likely be shooting at him. That was something Jethro wasn't willing to risk now that he was a single parent. The work would be challenging and interesting and he could set his own schedule to some extent. Best of all there was minimal paperwork. Mark had introduced him to Ruth Ellis, a very capable, retired Army sergeant who ran the office much as she had the offices of numerous high ranking Army officers during her career. She had a staff of two and they did all the paperwork once Jethro or the other consultants did the field work. There were three other consultants in the office, all former military men and Jethro met them at lunch on Friday. He liked each of them and by the time lunch was over it seemed they would make a good team.

Over coffee before he left for the airport Mark told Jethro, "I'm excited to have you join us my friend. I think we can keep you busy but not overwhelmed. Any time you need to be away to do something with Matthew just let Ruth know and she'll manage the schedule."

"Thank you, Mark. I appreciate the opportunity. I like the setup and it seems like a good outfit. I'll do a good job for you."

"Hell, I know you will. I just hope it's not boring for you. After NCIS it'll be pretty calm."

"That's what I need these days. My days of getting shot at are over."

"Right. Take another week then check in with Ruth on Monday after next and she'll get you set up. Can Noemi stay overnight in case you have to be out of town once in a while?"

"Yeah, she's fine with that."

"Doesn't happen often but it can happen. Okay, I better hit the road. Good to see you Jethro. Take care. Again, I'm really sorry about Jenny. I'm glad to have you on board."

"Thanks again, buddy. I appreciate it."

And so Jethro went back to work and life went on. Noemi now came earlier and stayed later and Jethro worried that Mattie would forget who his parent was. He knew he really had no choice but being away from his son was a difficult adjustment; one more on top of so many others for both father and son. Calls and visits from friends lessened as everyone got on with their busy lives. Jethro enjoyed the work and was as busy as he needed to be. He was home most nights in time to feed and bathe Matthew and read him stories before bedtime. He had yet to play any of the tapes Jenny had made for them. He told himself he didn't want to confuse the little boy by having him hear his mom's voice when she wasn't there but he knew in his heart he simply wasn't ready to hear her voice yet.

Fall swept in and Mattie was crawling everywhere, eating whatever Noemi put in front of him and growing and changing every single day. Jethro had to be gone overnight for the first time in late October and it was the longest night he'd endured in a while. He had not been away from Matthew that long since he first saw him in the hospital and he was miserable all night. Noemi called him before Mattie went to bed so he could tell his son goodnight. She assured Jethro everything was fine but still he was anxious and lonesome until he got home the next afternoon.

Mike had taken to calling from the cantina every Saturday afternoon. One Saturday in early November the phone rang at the usual time and there was Mike with the noise of the cantina in the background.

"How you doin' Probie?"

"Good, Mike. How's the beach?"

"Warm and sunny. Not what you've got I hear."

"Nope, we've got cold and cloudy. Typical for the Nation's Capitol. Everything alright?"

"All good here. How's my little man doin'?"

"He's growin' like a weed. Thinks he's gonna take off walking any day now. Walks around the couch and the table. He's startin' to try and say a few words already. He's a joy."

"Sounds like it. How's the work?"

"Good. No one shooting at me you know so that's good. We're plenty busy. The townhouse sold last week so that's all taken care of finally."

"Good. Hey, my food's comin' but there's someone here who wants to talk to you. I'll call next week. Kiss that boy for me."

"Will do."

Jethro heard Mike pass the phone to someone and then it was quiet like the person had taken the phone outside. He expected Carmelita to come on the line as she often did.

"Hello Jethro."

There was a pause while Jethro closed his eyes and took a breath.

"Ana, hi."

"I'm sorry, maybe this wasn't a good idea."

Jethro hesitated again.

"No, it's okay. I'm just surprised to hear your voice is all. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Jethro, I've thought about calling you for months but I just didn't know if it would be alright with you. I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am about Jenny. I should have told you that a long time ago. I haven't been a very good friend."

"Ana, it's fine. I'm glad to talk to you now. Is Mike behaving himself?"

"Yes, most of the time. Still not smoking which is good. Tell me about your son."

"He's wonderful. Mike has pictures I'm sure he's shown you. He's growing so fast and changing every week. I can barely keep up with him. Ana, I'm sorry I didn't call you after I got back. Things were just so. . . ."

"No, Jethro don't apologize to me. You had all you could handle and you were exactly where you were intended to be. You had your life and I wasn't part of that. I understand completely. I worried about you but I couldn't call. I hope my calling that time wasn't a problem."

"Of course it wasn't. Jenny and I had no secrets."

"I didn't mean that. I just…oh I don't know. I'm sorry Jethro I think I should go. I'm glad you're doing alright. Take care."

And she was gone. Jethro looked at the phone and shook his head. He'd never known Ana to be so flustered. He wondered what was really going on and what was wrong. Calling back crossed his mind but Matthew decided he needed his daddy's attention right then so the phone was put away and Jethro turned his attention to his son. He'd think about Ana another time.

Another time turned out to be the next morning when Mike called back.

"What did you say to upset Ana yesterday?" Mike sounded a little bit angry and that threw Jethro for a loop.

"Hello to you too, Mike. I didn't say anything to upset her. She was…I don't even know how to describe it. She didn't seem comfortable talking to me but I swear I didn't say much of anything."

"Well she came back with the phone and I think she was cryin'. She's been so worried about you and torn up about the whole thing I thought maybe talkin' to you would make her feel better. Shows what I know. Maybe she's afraid you'll think it's in poor taste for her to call you. You know how she feels about you and with all that's happened maybe she thinks she shouldn't be talkin' to you."

"Look, I know how she felt a year ago but surely she doesn't still feel that way now. I haven't seen her in ten months."

"It hasn't changed, Probie. That woman loves you. Bad luck for her because first you're married and now you're a new widower. Either way it's bad timing for her. I'm not tryin' to be crass here but that's the truth."

"Shit. What do you want me to do. I don't want her feelin' like she can't talk to me. I was happy to hear her voice and I would have been happy to talk to her. I don't have anything to offer her now; just like I didn't before. Maybe it's best we just let this thing die off."

"Don't expect that's gonna happen anytime soon."

"Whatta you suggest I do about it?"

"Not sure you should do anything."

"Dammit Mike. I care about Ana. I don't want her unhappy because of me."

"Probably nothing you can do about that. She's grown, Jethro. She'll have to work it out."

"Give me her number. I'll call her and we'll talk it out. We did before."

Jethro wrote down the number Mike gave him. He wasn't sure what he'd say to her but he was determined to try and fix it somehow. He didn't take the time right then to examine his feelings for Ana; he just wanted to talk to her like he used to be able to.

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"No."

"Probie, let's put it on the table. That girl loves you. You're fresh from burying the love of your life. Don't mess up something by trying to fix things. I know you care for her but now may not be the time to get wrapped up with Ana again."

"I hear you. I'll be honest with her like I have always been. Now, Mattie seems to be ready to get out of his bed so I've gotta go. Behave yourself."

"Same to ya."

Jethro scooped Mattie out of his bed and changed his diaper. He kept up a constant 'conversation' with the little boy as he got him dressed and they went downstairs. It was fairly mild day so after a snack the Gibbs boys bundled up and went for a walk. Jethro needed the fresh air and time to think about Ana and what he would say to her when he called. Mike was right of course, now was not the time for him to get involved with Ana. Jethro had no idea if there ever would be a time when he would be open to a romantic situation with Ana or any other woman but he knew for sure that time was not now. This was way more complicated a situation than Jethro wanted to deal with these days. It took all his energy to simply get through each day. He missed Jenny every day and some days it was all he could do to get up and go to work and come home to take care of his son. He had no idea when that might change though he knew from bitter experience that eventually it would at least get easier.

His relationship with Ana had helped him get through a difficult time but he had known at the time he was using her and couldn't give her what she wanted or needed from him. He had been very honest with her about that but still, when he thought about it, he knew it had been unfair to Ana. If he was honest with himself he would have to admit he'd been very happy to hear her voice yesterday. He wondered why she had been so uncomfortable talking to him. Perhaps she was afraid he would think she was being insensitive because it was so soon after Jenny's death. It didn't feel like that to Jethro. He thought of Ana as a friend and frankly right now he could use a friend. The whole thing of her loving him was a problem for Jethro though because he couldn't reciprocate. It was a mess. Such a mess Jethro wasn't even sure he understood the whole thing. Maybe Ducky could help.

When they got back to the house, Jethro got a fire going in the fireplace and sat down on the floor with Matthew and some plastic blocks and trucks. While they built towers for the trucks to knock down, Jethro called Ducky and asked if he could come over for supper. Ducky offered to bring Chinese which Jethro hadn't had in ages. Of course he accepted.

Ducky arrived at seven just as Jethro was getting Mattie out of the bathtub. While Jethro got Mattie dressed Ducky unpacked the food and set the table. While the grownups ate, Mattie sat on his daddy's lap and had a bottle. He was asleep in Jethro's arms before dad was finished eating. When there was nothing left but the fortune cookies Jethro took Mattie upstairs and Ducky cleaned up the empty cartons and put on the kettle for tea. He had succeeded in getting Jethro to replace his nighttime coffee with tea; at least part of the time. He was sitting in the living room enjoying the fire when a tired father reappeared and sank onto the couch.

"Long day?"

"Yeah. I seem to be tired all the time."

"I think that goes with having a baby in the house. Wait until he's a toddler."

"Ugh."

The two friends sat in silence for a while before Jethro got up to put another long on the fire. Ducky knew something was bothering his old friend but he waited for Jethro to begin on his own. Ducky had learned long ago that patience was the key to any conversation with Jethro.

"Somethin' I need to talk to you about and I don't know where to start."

"Well, the beginning is usually the best place you know that."

Jethro looked into the fire for a few moments longer then he sat down and began. He told Ducky about Ana from the falling-through-the-roof story to leaving her in San Diego the night he had come home. He told all of it; his feelings for her, the kisses, her feelings for him and their phone conversation yesterday.

"I feel bad that's she's unhappy and I know it's because of me but I don't know what to do about it."

"First of all her unhappiness is not your responsibility. From what you've said you were completely honest with her from the beginning. You didn't lead her on or betray your marriage with her. So, her happiness or lack thereof is NOT your responsibility."

"In my head I know that but it still feels like my fault."

"Do you have feelings for this woman?"

"No!"

"Jethro, there is nothing wrong with it if you do."

"Feels like it would be wrong. Okay, when I was in Mexico I was miserable. Ana and I clicked. She got me to talk about Jenny and what had happened. She was a friend when I needed one. We spent a lot of time together and if I hadn't had a wife I still loved then we would have become more than just friends. I liked her. Part of me wanted to be with her but I wouldn't let it happen. She said she understood and she was okay with it. She said she wanted me to be happy and she knew that meant I had to come back to Jenny."

"Sounds like a wise and strong woman."

"She is. Now there is no Jenny and I still can't give Ana what she wants; me. I'm not in any kind of shape to have a relationship with her even if I thought it was a good idea which I don't."

"Just for the sake of conversation, why is it not a good idea?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because I just buried my wife three months ago."

"So, it's a matter of timing?"

Jethro sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. He was so tired he could hardly think straight.

"Yeah, partly. Don't you think it'd be a little soon for me to take up with another woman?"

"Jethro, the woman we're discussing lives on the other side of the country. In fact, in another country all together. Can talking to her on the phone be such a bad idea? I think Ana reached out to you because she is concerned about you, cares for you and wanted to let you know that. Apparently the conversation did not go as she hoped but that does not mean talking to her is a bad idea. If she wants to continue your friendship I hope you will not discourage that. Believe it or not, you will some day want to be in another relationship and Ana may very well be the woman you want to do that with. She is a grown woman who can make her own decision. Give her the respect she deserves by letting her be in charge of her life. If she wants to risk her heart on you that has to be her decision. All you are obligated to do is be utterly honest with her. And, as a final point let me remind you that Jenny wanted you to be happy again. To love again. If I'm not mistaken she elicited from you a promise to do just that."

Jethro was quiet while he absorbed everything Ducky had said.

"It all makes perfect sense when you say it Ducky. I just need to sleep on it I guess and then maybe I can say the right things when I call Ana."

"Jethro, one last thing and then I am going because you must go to bed. I believe you do have some feelings for Ana or this would not be so difficult for you. Please let yourself have those feelings and if they begin to grow and change do not try and deny them out of a false sense of loyalty to Jenny. You were a good husband and partner to Jenny for many years. You never once betrayed your love for her and your loving again would not do so now. Loving again and being happy again will only serve to honor the happiness and love you had with Jenny."

Jethro wiped tears from his eyes as he stood up to embrace his friend. They walked to the door and Jethro went out onto the porch with Ducky.

"Thank you my friend."

"You are very welcome. Now, go to bed! Doctor's orders."

"Yes, Doctor."

Jethro went upstairs and looked in at Matthew sound asleep in his bed. He sat in the rocking chair and watched his son and thought about Jenny. He thought back to the conversations they would have about Mattie's future.

" _Jethro I want you to teach him to swim and sail and build things."_

" _What if he doesn't like the water?"_

" _Don't be silly. He will. And teach him to ride a horse."_

" _And a bike?"_

" _Of course. And read to him so he'll like books. And tell him his mom loved him with all her heart."_

" _I will, Jen. I promise."_

Just before he fell asleep, Jethro got up and kissed his son on the head then went to his own bed where he collapsed and fell into a dreamless sleep. The next morning a powerful set of eleven month old lungs woke Jethro and propelled him across the hallway. Mattie was standing up in his bed, face red and hair plastered to his head with sweat.

"Hey, little man what's the matter? You wanna get out of there huh?"

Mattie stretched up his arms and grinned at his daddy.

"C'mon, no more yelling for daddy. I'm right here."

And so began another Sunday in the Gibbs household. That afternoon after Jethro put Mattie down for his nap, he sat on his bed and picked up his phone. He took some deep breaths, closed his eyes for a minute then punched in Ana's number. He hoped she was there because he wasn't sure he could talk himself into doing this again if she didn't answer. She did.

"Hello, this is Dr. Mendez."

"Ana, it's Jethro." Before she could respond he plowed ahead, "Could we start over? Please."

Silence. Nerves on both ends of the phone but finally Ana gathered her courage and said, "Hi, yes, let's start over."

"Oh, good. Okay, hi, how are you?"

Ana laughed and it was the best sound Jethro had heard in a while.

"I'm fine. Busy as usual but that's why I'm here. I'm sorry about the other day. I thought I was ready to talk to you but I guess I wasn't."

"Are you now?"

"Yes, I need to tell you how very sorry I am about Jenny. I should have called you long ago; like any friend would have. I can't explain why I didn't. I have been thinking about you and Matthew and praying that you are alright."

"That must be why I keep making it through the days. Can't think of any other reason. Matthew is my reason for living, Ana. Without him I don't know what I would do."

"Tell me about him."

"Well, he's the cutest baby boy in the whole world for starters. He's standing up at the furniture and trying to walk. Crawls very fast all over the house. Eats like a Marine and thank goodness he takes good naps. He's a very sweet boy, hardly ever cries or fusses. Loves to take a bath and still likes to cuddle with his daddy."

"He sounds wonderful. I'm happy for you that you have him. He's a lucky boy to have you for a dad."

"Well, we'll see about that as time goes along. Is Mike behaving himself?"

"Yes, he is. He shows me pictures of Matthew whenever he has a new one. I must say that boy looks an awful lot like his father."

"Yes, that's what everyone says. Ana, there's something I need to say."

"Okay."

"I feel very selfish saying this to you but here goes. I want us to be friends, I want to talk to you and stay in touch with you but in reality things haven't changed for us. I'm still not able to give you anything more than I could in Mexico. I'm just not in a place where I can offer you what you want or need. Wait, that sounds pretty presumptuous I guess. Maybe I'm not sayin' this right but you know what I mean don't you?"

"Yes, Jethro I know what you're saying. Now I need to say something. I care for you as I think you well know. When you left to go home I accepted that we would never be anything more than friends. As far as I am concerned that is still true. Perhaps some day in the future that will change. Can we just leave it at that and see what the future brings? I have no expectations."

"I would like that. The very last thing I want to do is hurt you Ana."

"You will not. I am not worried about that."

"Okay. Tell me how the new clinic is working out."

Ana talked for several minutes about the clinic and how wonderful it was to be in the new space. She talked about some of the people Jethro knew from the town and how everyone was doing. Then she asked about his work and he spent a few minutes describing his new job and how it was going.

"Do you miss NCIS?"

Jethro thougth for a moment then he said, "Yes, I do. I miss the action and the people. But, I can't be putting myself in the line of fire anymore. So, I'd rather have Mattie than NCIS."

"Good choice. I'm glad you're not in the line of fire anymore."

"I guess I better go. I'm very happy we talked. Let's stay in touch, okay?"

"Yes, I would like that. Thank you for calling me back, Jethro. Bye."

"Bye, Ana. Take care of yourself."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Betrayal**

Chapter 15

A cold November was about to give way to an even colder December and soon the holidays were upon them. Jethro had not celebrated Christmas for many years and he was thankful Matthew as still too young to be caught up in all the holiday nonsense as Jethro called it. They did go to Ducky's for Thanksgiving dinner as usual and it was good to see everyone together again. Abby and Ziva took over Matthew and Jethro hardly saw him all afternoon.

While the rest of the group was having dessert, Jethro took Mattie to the kitchen so he could have a bottle in the quiet and hopefully fall asleep. Tony came in and sat next to Jethro with a very serious look on his face.

"Everything alright Tony?"

"Yeah. I need to tell you something."

"You and Ziva broke rule 12? I know all about that."

"You do? But how?"

"Jenny told me. Long time ago."

"Oh. Well that's okay because the reason I'm in here is that I'm going to ask Ziva to marry me and I wanted to get your blessing."

"Shouldn't you be asking her father?"

"They don't exactly speak to one another anymore. Besides you're more of a father to her than Eli ever was. And, you're kinda like my 'other father' so I figure you should weigh in on the subject."

Jethro looked down at his son who was making short work of his bottle. The little boy's eyes were drooping and he was fighting hard to keep them open. He had his little hand wrapped tightly around his daddy's thumb.

"You think you can handle all that will come with marrying a woman like Ziva? Her family, her history all that?"

"All I know is if I don't marry her, if I don't have her in my life I'm as good as dead."

"Good answer. I don't have to tell you to be good to her and love her because I know you'll do that. All I can say is never lie to her and never betray her trust in you. And always be ready to forgive her. Nothing including your ego will ever be as important as the love between the two of you."

Tony was stunned by Jethro's response. He had expected a slap to the back of the head but nothing so poignant as what his old boss said. He saw some very raw emotions cross Jethro's face while he spoke and Tony knew he had been given a rare gift.

"Thank you boss. I'll remember that. I was thinking of asking her tonight. Here. Whatta ya think?"

"You sure she wants to get married?"

"Yes, we've talked about it."

"You sure she'll say yes?"

Tony laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Then what're you doin' in here? Let's get on with it."

The two men left the kitchen, sleeping baby in tow, and reentered the dining room as everyone was finishing dessert. Tony went to Ziva and after some nervous chatter he finally got down to business. Ziva was clearly surprised by the timing but not the question and of course she said yes. There were lots of hugs and laughs all around and Jethro once again was struck by how close these young people were and how much he loved each one of them. Then he thought about Jenny and how much he missed her and he left the room.

Ducky found him a few minutes later in the front hall holding his sleeping son and staring out the front door.

"She would have been very happy for them."

"Yeah."

There was nothing for Ducky to say so he just stood beside Jethro with his hand on his back offering what support he could. After a few minutes Jethro turned to his friend and wiped tears from his eyes.

"I miss her so much. Sometimes it's too much."

"I know. No, I guess I don't really but I understand. Would you like to go sit down or would you like to go home?"

"I think I should go home. I don't want to put a damper on the good news in there."

"Fine. I'll find your coats."

Ducky walked off and Ziva took his place next to Jethro. She was so quiet Jethro didn't know she'd come in until she put her hand on his arm.

"Pretty big night for you Ziver. Congratulations. Think you can keep him in line?"

Even though he was trying for a light, happy tone Ziva heard the sadness in his voice.

"Yes, I believe I can. Jethro, I want you to know that watching you and Jenny these last few years is what gives me the confidence to marry Tony and build a life with him. I had never seen two people so in love as you two and I vowed I would not marry until I found someone who made me as happy as you did Jenny. Tony is that person. You and Jenny were always a great example for me and for Tony as well. Thank you for that."

"I don't know what to say Ziver. Tony is a lucky man and I believe you're getting yourself a good man. I wish you all the best and if you are as happy as Jenny and I were then you will be very blessed."

Ziva stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. Then she kissed Mattie on the head. She rubbed Jethro's back and said, "I love you. Thank you."

Ducky returned with Jethro's coat and Mattie's blanket. Jethro handed the baby to him and went out to start the car. When he came back in everyone was waiting to tell him goodnight. He scooped Matthew into his arms and told everyone good night.

When they got home Jethro tucked Mattie into his bed then changed into some sweats and a sweatshirt and went downstairs to get a fire going. It was going to be a long night. Jethro had a box with pictures in it that he hadn't looked at since he moved. Tonight he decided he'd look through it. He told himself he was already lonesome and sad so he might as well indulge those emotions and maybe get it over with for a while. When he opened the box he was surprised to find three letters in there. One had Matthew's name on the front of the envelope and the other two had his name on them. He set aside Matthew's letter and looked carefully the two addressed to him. They were numbered 1 and 2 in Jenny's clear, feminine script. He was almost afraid to open them but finally he put number two down, settled back on the couch and opened the other one.

 _Dear Jethro,_

 _Of course if you are reading this I have died and you have decided to look at old pictures for some reason. I asked Noemi to put these letters in here knowing you would find them someday when you needed to look back. In the last few months we have said everything that we needed to say so this won't be a long letter. I know you know how much I loved you. Meeting you, working for and with you, falling in love with you, those were the best things that ever happened to me until Matthew came along. He is the icing on the cake. He makes this whole dying thing bearable. Knowing you will have him and he you, makes my leaving you not quite so bad._

 _My only regret Jethro is the pain I caused you last summer. I know we agreed never to speak of that again but I have to say something. I have no explanation or excuse. I can never tell you how very sorry I am that I hurt you like that. Your forgiveness saved me and I love you more than I can tell you for that. The other letter in here tells you anything you might want to know about the whole sordid situation. I don't expect you want to know but I thought I should write it down for you in case you do after I'm gone._

 _Jethro, you are the best person I have ever known. I have loved you for so long I can barely remember not loving you. We had some good times together didn't we? Those horribly hot nights in Marseilles, all the fun we had in Paris, the fights and the making up. We were so good together even though in the beginning I wasn't sure you even liked me. Nothing was ever as good as being in your arms; being loved by you._

 _Please don't mourn me for very long. Be happy. Love someone else. I adore you Jethro. Thank you for loving me._

 _Yours forever, Jen._

Jethro let his head fall back against the cushions and closed his eyes against the tears he was beginning to think would never stop. He took some deep breaths then read the letter again. And again. He picked up letter number two and turned it over and over in his hands. He stood up and tossed in on the fire. He didn't need to know anything about the affair that had nearly ended them. He had forgiven Jenny and he didn't care anything about it anymore. He hadn't for a long time. The letter for Matthew was not sealed but he didn't need to read it now. He knew some of what was in there because he had been sitting with Jenny as she wrote some of it. He would save that one for later.

Knowing he wasn't going to bed for a while he got himself a cup of coffee and the piece of pie Ducky had sent home with him. He settled back on the couch and clicked on the television looking for an old movie or a ball game. The pie and coffee were gone and the movie had just about put him to sleep when the phone rang. Barely awake he grabbed it and answered without checking the caller ID.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Jethro, hello it's Ana."

That woke him up. He looked at his watch and saw it was only nine o'clock. Being a dad had certainly changed his sleeping habits.

"Ana, hi. How are you?"

"Good. Is this a bad time? It sounds like I woke you."

"Fell asleep on the couch watchin' a movie. Life is pretty exciting here."

"Yes, it sounds like it. I was calling to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Did you have a good day?"

"It's was okay. Went to Ducky's for late lunch with all the NCIS guys. Tony proposed to Ziva so that was the excitement for the day."

"My goodness that is exciting. You are happy about that I hope."

"Yeah, they're a good pair."

Ana heard the sadness in his voice even though he was trying to disguise it.

"But it was hard being with all of them without Jenny wasn't it?"

Not for the first time Jethro realized Ana knew him pretty well. He appreciated that she wasn't afraid to say Jenny's name to him. Some people seemed to avoid that and it bothered him.

"Yeah. I left early. Mattie was sleeping anyway so we came home."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't know what to say."

"Okay, well what have you been doing since you got home?"

"Put Mattie to bed, got the fire going, had pie and coffee and fell asleep on the couch."

"And?"

Jethro hesitated. Did he want to talk about this with Ana?

"I found a letter Jenny had left for me. Two actually. One was for me to read and the other was too but only if I wanted to know about the affair. I read the first one; several times and then I put the other one in the fire."

"Did the letter make you feel any better? Or worse?"

"Better I think. I know it will get easier but right now things like being with my old team are just too hard. I wish sometimes I could go to sleep and wake up in six months and feel better."

"Jethro that's called a coma and I don't recommend it."

That elicited a laugh which is exactly what Ana had hoped for.

"Besides think of all the fun things Matthew will do in the next six months. You don't want to miss those."

"You're right. He's got a birthday coming up and he'll be walking soon. Who knows what he'll get into once he starts wandering around the house. Noemi will have her hands full."

"Yes she will. Tell me what he's doing now that he wasn't the last time we talked."

Jethro thought for a moment then told her how Mattie had discovered how to open the bottom cabinets and get all the pots and pans out. He said Noemi had taken to putting only plastic containers in one cabinet where he could play and not make so much noise. He told her he'd offered to put child guard things on the cabinets but Noemi said no, she'd teach Matthew to stay out.

"And how is that working?"

"Pretty good. He listens to her but tomorrow I'm putting them on all the cabinets except that one where he plays."

"So, you have a project for tomorrow. That's good."

"Yeah, I guess so. Gotta go buy them first."

"Two projects then."

Jethro laughed again. Two times in one conversation; Ana was pleased.

"I'm glad you called Ana. Thank you."

"I'm glad too. Goodnight, Jethro. Be patient with yourself."

Jethro closed up the fireplace and headed upstairs. He looked in on Matthew who was sound asleep at one end of his bed. Jethro carefully moved him back to the middle and covered him up. Then he retreated to his own bed and miraculously fell asleep right away.

Despite his best efforts to ignore it Christmas eventually came. And went. Jethro sent Noemi off on two weeks of well earned vacation and he took time off work so he could stay home with Matthew. There were invitations to Ducky's and Tony's houses but Jethro declined both. He simply wasn't in a celebratory frame of mind and his friends understood that. On Christmas Day Matthew woke up with a stuffy head and a runny nose and by that afternoon he had a full blown cold. By the next morning he had infected his father. So, the two Gibbs boys spent most of the holidays feeling anything but festive. Ducky assured Jethro that treating the symptoms was all he could do and the cold would eventually run its course.

For the better part of Christmas week Matthew felt terrible and spent all his time glued to his daddy. Twice Jethro turned the shower into a steam room and stood in there with Matthew letting them both inhale the steam which seemed to help. One evening Jethro was exhausted and Mattie simply could not get settled. Jethro brought him into his bedroom and plopped him down on the bed. Mattie rolled around a few times and then sat up and smiled at his father as if to say, "this is where I wanted to be all along". The rest of the week, Matthew slept with his dad; something Jethro had vowed he would not allow. But, in his defense, they both slept better.

On the twenty-ninth, Matthew's first birthday, they both woke up feeling better. Jethro fixed pancakes which Mattie loved and they had a good morning in front of the fire with blocks and trucks and books. Ducky called to wish Mattie a happy birthday and then Abby called followed by Ziva and Tony and then Tim. Mattie wore out pretty quickly and Jethro happily settled on the couch with him and they both slept through the lunch hour.

For some reason Matthew had a difficult time that evening. His nose was running away with him and he was congested again. Jethro gave him a bath which he usually loved but even that didn't seem to help. They got on dad's big bed but Mattie couldn't get happy. First he wanted to sit in Jethro's lap then he wanted to get down. He crawled all over the bed then wanted to be held. When that wasn't what he wanted Matthew started crying which was very unusual. He didn't have a fever and he had eaten a good supper so Jethro was at a loss. Finally, after nothing else seemed to be working Jethro decided maybe mom was who Matthew needed on his birthday.

Jethro scooped up his fussy, runny-nosed son and went to find the tape recorder and some books. He wasn't sure this was a good idea but honestly he felt almost as crummy as Matthew seemed to so he figured it couldn't hurt. Besides, he couldn't miss Jenny any more than he already did. Right?

With the recorder and some books in hand Jethro got a bottle and Mattie's favorite blanket and settled on the bed. Matthew took a drink of the milk and flung the bottle across the bed. He looked up at his dad with watery, sad eyes and Jethro's heart almost broke in two.

"I know little man. It sucks that you don't feel good on your birthday and your mom isn't here. I'm sorry."

Matthew blinked his big blue eyes and crawled off after his bottle. Jethro found the book he wanted and checked the inside of the front cover for the number Jenny had written there. In her very organized way she had noted the counter number on the digital recorder where each story began and had written that number on the inside cover of each book.

"Your mom was a very smart lady, Matthew. Whole lot smarter than your ole dad that's for sure."

Mattie crawled back to his father and climbed up in his lap. Jethro leaned back against the headboard and got the book ready.

"Okay, buddy we're gonna listen to your mom read this book to you."

Jethro pushed the button and just like that, Jenny was right there reading Good Night Moon to Matthew just like she had dozens of times when he was a tiny baby. Mattie patted the book and looked up at his father who had closed his eyes and was trying very hard not to cry. He forced himself to listen so he could turn the pages of the book along with Jenny's narration. Matthew had calmed down completely and was now totally focused on the book and the sound of his mother's voice. Jethro had been afraid the little boy would be looking for his mom when he heard her voice but he seemed transfixed on the sound and not at all upset.

Jethro had the next two books on the recorder ready and by the time the third one was half finished Matthew was sound asleep in his lap. Jethro relaxed, closed his eyes and listened to Jenny read children's books until he too fell asleep. Jenny's voice filled the room, surrounding the two people she had loved so much until finally the recordings ended and the device shut off. Some time in the night Jethro put the books and recorder on the nightstand and stretched out with Matthew safely in his own bed. He woke up the next morning with no memory of moving the books or his son and feeling better than he had in a long time.

Whether it is was finally allowing himself to listen to Jenny's voice again or simply the start of a new year, Jethro seemed to be pulling himself together as January moved along. He had spent New Year's Day pretty much wallowing in memories of his coming home, those first terrible days after hearing Jenny's diagnosis and the months that followed. He read Jenny's letter again and listened to her read stories to their son and then he told himself to get it together. He knew what Jenny expected of him and if he was going to live up to her standards he needed to get his mind right. Making a New Year's resolution wasn't really his style so instead he made a promise to his son.

While Matthew played in the bathtub one night, Jethro thought about all that he and Jenny had dreamed of for their son. Having him grow up in a happy, safe home was always their priority no matter what else they dreamed of. Jethro had promised that was what he would provide and since he'd never broken a promise to Jenny in their lives he knew he'd better not let this one be the first. The safe part wasn't hard at all but the happy part might be a challenge if he didn't pull it together. While he was a very attentive, loving father, Jethro knew to some extent he'd been going through the motions for the last few months. That was understandable and acceptable but it had to end sometime. The start of a new year seemed as good a time as any.

While he watched his son splashing in the warm bath Jethro told him, "Mattie, you daddy is going to figure out how to be happy again. You and me, we're gonna get this all figured out and I promise, we'll be happy. I promised your mom a lot of good things for you and I'll deliver. I'm always gonna keep you safe and I'll always love you no matter what."

Matthew splashed and babbled to his daddy and Jethro took that as his okay. Now all he had to do was figure out how to live up to that promise.

As the winter dragged on Jethro couldn't say he was happier exactly but he was at least less sad most of the time. He and Matthew were inseparable when Jethro was at home. On the weekends Jethro took Matthew everywhere and the little boy was always happiest with his daddy. Of course, the two of them got plenty of attention-most of it unwanted by the father-from well meaning women of all ages who seemed to think Jethro incapable of shopping for clothes or food for his son. It wasn't surprising; after all Matthew was an adorable child and his daddy was handsome and obviously a doting father. The fact that he wore a wedding ring didn't seem to slow the women down when it came to offering advice. Jethro tried to be polite and learned to just keep moving.

In April Jethro bought a sailboat and as soon as the weather permitted he started taking Matthew sailing on the weekends. Noemi was nervous the first few weekends she knew this was happening but once she realized Jethro and Matthew were always there on Mondays when she arrived back at the house she began to relax. Matthew loved being on the water and sailing offered Jethro an escape nothing else did.

When summer arrived, Jethro took Matthew to baby swim classes and of course Mattie loved the water. He was a great floater and loved blowing bubbles. He had absolutely no fear which meant he had to learn to swim as soon as possible. The class was a success and lots of fun for father and son both. Matthew as walking all over the place and keeping Noemi on her toes. He was beginning to say words and still loved to be read to by his dad and his mom. Whenever Jethro put on a recording of Jenny's voice, Matthew got very quiet and relaxed. It worked wonders on those nights when he couldn't seem to get to sleep on his own. It also worked wonders for Jethro most of the time.

The anniversary of Jenny's death was suddenly looming and Jethro couldn't believe it had been a year already. Ducky called that morning to say he was thinking of them and wish Jethro a good day. Luckily Jethro was meeting with a client that morning so he was busy and had to focus on what he was doing. Late in the afternoon when he'd finished work he picked up some flowers and headed to the cemetery. He didn't visit often because he just didn't see the point. Jenny was in his heart and in Matthew and that's where Jethro experienced her every day. Her grave didn't really give him much comfort. When he got home that night Noemi had made him his favorite supper and he persuaded her to stay and eat with him. They had a nice evening and shared some laughs and tears talking about their Jenny.

As always the summer had gone by too fast and soon it was time to put the sailboat away and get out jackets and leaf rakes. Jethro, with Tony's blessing, hired Ziva away from NCIS to work with him. With Jethro pretty much running things in the DC office, the business was expanding and Ziva was a perfect fit. She liked the more regular hours and Tony was happy to have her out of the line of fire. Jethro was thrilled to be working with Ziva again. All in all life was pretty good at the Gibbs household.

Jethro had more good days than bad and he had to admit he was glad the first year without Jenny was behind him. Sometimes he thought about whether or not he was keeping his promise to be happy again and he'd have to say he thought he was. Maybe content was a more accurate term but at least he could honestly say he wasn't miserable anymore. He missed Jenny and the life they had had together but he was so busy with work and Matthew that he didn't have time to dwell on being alone. He did worry that Matthew was growing up without a mom but he didn't really have a choice in that so he tried to love him enough for two parents.

Mike called one day in early November and asked Jethro when he was coming for a visit.

"I was thinking of maybe going to see you for Christmas. I figure this will be the last year I can skip the whole Santa Claus thing. Think you could put up with us for a week or two?"

"I guess so. Of course I can, I'd love it. When do you think you'll come?"

"I'll have to check the calendar and the work we have scheduled and let you know. We don't usually do much that time of year so it won't be a problem. Besides, Ziva will be here and she can handle most anything I would anyway."

"Sounds good. I'm lookin' forward to seeing that little boy."

"Okay, I'll be in touch."

"Hey, before you go, have you talked to Ana lately?"

"Not for about a month. Everything okay?"

"Her mom's been real sick. I think she'd appreciate hearin' from you."

"Okay, I'll call her. Thanks. See ya next month."

A couple of days later Jethro called Ana but got her voice mail. He left a message asking about her mother and telling her he would be at Mike's for Christmas. Ana called him back the next night. Jethro had just put Mattie to bed and was headed for the couch when the phone rang.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Hello, Jethro. How are you?"

"Hi, Ana. I'm okay. How are you and how is your mom?"

"I'm tired. My mother is not well. She's had serious heart problems for the last several years and it's sort at an end stage. They're tinkering with medication but she's not a transplant candidate so there isn't much they can do. I've been in San Diego with her for the last week. How did you know?"

"I talked to Mike a few days ago and he said she was sick. I'm sorry to hear she's not doing well. Are you doing okay? You have someone running the clinic for you?"

"I'm okay. This has been going on for a long time so I guess I'm sort of used to it. A friend from med school has been helping me on and off so he's running things at the clinic for now. Let's talk about something happy. Tell me about Matthew."

That was easy for Jethro to do. He brought her up-to-date on all Mattie's new skills, how many teeth he had, what new mischief he'd been up to with Noemi.

"He's growin' like a weed and he's a lot of fun."

"I bet he is. How about his daddy? How are you really?"

"Pretty good. Busy at work and at home so that helps. More good days than bad so that's progress I guess. I'm going to be there for a week or so at Christmas time. Will I see you?"

"I hope so. My mother is pretty fragile right now and I'm the only one here at the moment. Her sister is coming from Arizona in few days so we'll see what happens. It's sort of touch and go at the moment."

"I'm sorry Ana."

"I know. Thank you. It's good to hear your voice, Jethro. I hope I will see you next month."

"Me too. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Bye and thanks for calling."

Jethro stared into the fire and thought about Ana; something he hadn't done in a while. Their phone calls were sporadic these last few months and Jethro had pretty much put that relationship out of his mind. Hearing her voice tonight and knowing how upset she must be about her mother he was reminded of how close they had been. When he thought about that and realized it had been almost two years since he'd seen her, Jethro wondered how he'd react to seeing her again. He hoped he got the chance to find out.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Betrayal**

Chapter 16

Traveling across the country with an almost two year old was not something Jethro would ever recommend to anyone. By the time they arrived at Mike's late in the afternoon on Christmas Day, Jethro and Mattie were both exhausted. Mike met them at the small airport in a nearby town and then it was just about a thirty minute drive to the cabin. It was a relief to be able to walk outside and breathe fresh air when they finally arrived. Mattie was so tired he could hardly move.

"So, how was he on the plane?"

"Actually he was fine. He slept a lot and when he was awake he wasn't fussy or anything. It's just a long day and he needs some activity."

"Well, there's plenty of room for him to run around here."

Jethro got their belongings organized in their bedroom while Mike entertained Matthew on the porch. Once he'd changed into some shorts and tee shirt he got Mattie something to eat and that seemed to make them both feel better.

"Carmelita made you her chicken enchiladas and brought them by this morning. I'll put 'em in the oven in a while to warm up. Why don't you take Matthew down and let him walk around on the beach for a while."

"Good idea."

Jethro picked up his son and the two of them headed down to the beach. Matthew wanted to get down and as soon as they were on some firm sand Jethro gave him his wish. At first Mattie just stood there looking at his feet then he sat down and started digging his little fingers into the soft sand. Jethro sat down beside him and talked to him about the beach and the water and how much fun they were going to have. Jethro tried to talk to Mattie as much as possible so he'd always know his voice and so he would learn words. It was sometimes hard for Jethro to do that at first since he was normally a man of few words but once he got used to these one-sided conversations he found he liked talking to his son about things.

"Come on, let's go try out the water."

Jethro stood up and pulled Mattie to his feet. With Mattie holding onto his daddy's finger they made their way to the water's edge. There were hardly any waves and the water gently lapped the sand, coming and going in the endless repetition of the sea. Jethro let Mattie figure it out for a minute then the little boy took a step into the water and laughed when the water splashed on his feet. He stomped his feet a few times making the water splash on his legs. His laughter was always the best sound for Jethro no matter what his day had been; when he heard his son's pure laugh he couldn't help but smile.

They walked along slowly with Mattie still holding his daddy's hand and Jethro let himself remember the last time he walked on this beach. He'd been with Ana and he'd kissed her. He also remembered how he'd wanted more than that kiss but that he'd been determined to reclaim his marriage and he was so anxious to go home. There was no way he would ever have imagined being back here under the present circumstances. No way he would have ever dreamed of losing Jenny forever but having a son in exchange.

"C'mon little man, let's go see what Grandpa Mike has for us for supper."

That night after Mattie was asleep Jethro and Mike sat on the porch with a glass of very good bourbon and a Cuban cigar each.

"Merry Christmas Probie."

"You too Mike. Have you talked to Ana lately?"

"Oh yeah I forgot in all the excitement of you getting here; her mom went home a couple of day ago. She's still not good but they can't do anything for her really. This happens a couple of times a year but this time I think it's worse."

"Aw hell. I never heard back from her after I called so I was afraid maybe things didn't go well. They have a little more time I guess."

"Yeah, she said her mom's ticker is just slowly giving out. Her mom's sister is with her so Ana could come back to work."

"You think she'll be back before I leave?"

"She didn't say when she was comin' back for sure but I think in a day or two. You hopin' to see her I guess?"

"Of course."

"You wanna elaborate on that?"

"No. But I will. Just give me a couple of days to relax. Then we can talk."

"Take your time. I know it's been a tough couple of years. From where I'm sittin' right now, you're doin' good Jethro. That little one is a gift for sure. He sure loves his daddy."

"And his daddy sure loves him. Yes, he's a gift alright. I can't believe he'll be two in just four days."

The two old friends were quiet the rest of the evening and Jethro went to bed that night thinking about Ana and her mom and hoping he got the chance to offer his support and sympathy in person.

For the next couple of days Jethro just relaxed and played with his son on the beach and in the water. He and Mike took Mattie out in the boat and then into town for supper at the cantina. Everyone there knew Jethro of course and were happy to meet Matthew. Carmelita fussed over him and showed him off to everyone in the place. Jethro was proud of how easy-going Matthew was and what a happy little boy he was. He wasn't shy around other people or frightened of strangers but he certainly knew who his daddy was and when he was tired of being the center of attention he was able to let his daddy know he needed some of his attention only.

The day before his birthday while Matthew was taking a nap, Jethro and Mike were enjoying an afternoon beer on the porch. Mike had been waiting for Jethro to start talking but so far their conversations had been very brief and not very serious. He figured that was about to change. Jethro seemed to be lost in his thoughts all morning so Mike knew he had things he needed to say.

"Talk to me Probie. Tell me what you've been doin' the past year. I know you've got things on your mind."

"Just trying to survive mostly. You know the first few months after Jenny died I was in a fog. I mean I took care of Mattie but I can't even remember most of it. I just got up in the morning, did what I had to do and then went to bed at night. Thank god Noemi was there. Who knows what we would have eaten otherwise."

"I know that's right. You never talked to me about what happened when you went home. Do you want to talk about that? I know it was a long time ago now."

"Almost two years. I tell you Mike when that doctor said I had a son I was so damn happy I didn't believe it. Then he said my wife was dying and I felt like I'd been shot. I just wanted to make him shut up and not talk about it. I didn't want to hear it. Then I held my son for the first time and my emotions were so all over the place I didn't really know what to do. Looking at him all I could think about was all the time I'd wasted being a stubborn bastard."

"You had no way of knowin' what was goin' on, Jethro. Not to speak ill of Jenny but she could have told you any one of those dozens of times you called her. She made her choices just like you did. You don't have anything to apologize for now. Besides, the two of you got past all that and fixed your marriage. That's the important thing."

"Yeah, you're right. When I saw Jenny in that hospital bed I just forgot everything except how damn much I loved her. All I wanted was to take her and Matthew home and hide. It was a tough few weeks before you got there. But at least we had time to say things we wanted. Tell each other important things we always thought we'd have plenty of time to say. I never got that chance with Shannon. I will always remember those last few months as very special."

"You did right by her Jethro. I'm very proud of how you two handled the whole thing. Jenny loved you more than I think you can ever understand. Just the same as you loved her I suppose."

"Yeah, we were lucky in a lot of ways. We found each other and then we had a lot of good times; more than bad ones and in the end we had time to say all the things we wanted to say."

"Now, tell me about the new job."

"It's good. Interesting and no one has taken a shot at me so far. It's mostly planning and threat assessment. It's great having Ziva on board. I'm home at night for Mattie and that's the most important thing."

"You wanna talk about Ana?"

"I'm not sure if there's anything to talk about. I mean we talk on the phone occasionally but that's all. I told her in the beginning our situation was pretty much unchanged. Sure I'm not married anymore but I'm still not available."

"That was over a year ago, Probie. Do you still feel the same?"

"I don't know. To be honest, Mike what I think about most is Matthew growin' up without a mom. Jenny told me once that she wanted Matthew to have a mother so he could love someone like I loved my mom. I agree that would be great but I can't just go out shopping for a mother for my son."

"No but you can be open to the idea of having someone in your life that loves you and would be a good mother. You know Ana loves you, right?"

"I know she probably did two years ago. I don't know that she does now."

"I do. Trust me Probie, she does. I don't want to put any ideas in your head or tell you what to do but just be aware that Ana still has very strong feelings for you. You're gonna have to tread lightly there if you're not ready to at least entertain the idea."

"I figured so. I just don't know how I feel about the whole idea. I don't know if I'm ready for any strong emotional connections. If I even have the energy or the desire for all that yet."

"If it's right you'll have the energy. Let me tell you something you might not know. Jenny asked me about Ana. She asked me if Ana was in love with you and I said yes, I thought so. She wanted to know if she hadn't been here if you would have gotten involved and I said I thought so. Jenny more or less wanted to know if Ana could be a person who loved you and who you might love in the future."

"She mentioned you and her had talked about it. Not in detail. I told her I wouldn't let anything happen between me and Ana so she knew. We had absolutely no secrets by that time."

"So, she more or less gave you her blessing then?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"But?"

"But I just don't know if I'm ready. I can't really imagine being with another woman. You know? I mean I can see it going so far but then I try to imagine making love to another woman and I just can't see it."

"Well, I suspect that would come in time but I hear you. But, Jethro, you of all people, you know someday sometimes never comes."

"You're right. Let's put it this way, I want to see Ana and I hope to have some time with her while I'm here. I'm not against the idea of the two of us I just don't think I'm ready and I don't think it's fair to ask her to wait."

"You're probably right."

The next morning Jethro was up at the crack of dawn. Sharing a standard bed with a two year old wasn't the best recipe for a good nights sleep especially when the two year old decided to sleep sideways in the middle of the bed. Jethro had awakened several times in the night with Matthew's feet in his rib cage or the boy's head pushing him in the back. In the faint dawn light Jethro looked at his still sleeping son and wished him a silent happy birthday. He could hardly believe it had been two years since this little person had come into the world and changed the lives of his parents forever. Jethro brushed his fingers over Mattie's soft brown hair and kissed him gently on the head.

"I love you Mattie. You are the best thing in my life by a very long way."

Jethro made his way to the bathroom then to the kitchen and got the coffee started. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. Once the coffee was finished Jethro took a cup outside and gathered a tarp and some stakes, poles and rope and headed to the beach. He was going to rig up a shade so they could spend the day on the beach and stay out of the sun. Mattie was always slathered in sunblock but Jethro was determined not to let him get burned. Once the shade was up and he found Mattie was still asleep, Jethro took some chairs and towels and Mattie's toys to the beach.

When he got back Mike was up and two minutes later Matthew came stumbling out of the bedroom clutching his stuffed tiger. Jethro picked him up and Matthew immediately laid his head on his daddy's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I don't think he's really awake yet. You two go sit on the porch and I'll get us some breakfast going."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

Jethro sat down in a rocking chair and talked quietly to his sleepy boy. Soon enough Mattie raised his head and fixed his big blue eyes on his father who looked back at him with the same blue eyes.

"Daddy."

"What? You finally gonna talk some, huh?"

"Daddy, Daddy."

"Yes, I'm your dad. Very good Mattie. I love you."

Matthew laughed and put his head back down on his dad's shoulder. Jethro had to wipe a few tears away. He hugged Mattie tight and kissed him on the head. Mattie had a few words he said every now and then but he was mostly silent. Noemi said he babbled to her all the time but rarely said any real words.

After breakfast Mike said he'd go into town to get groceries and charcoal so they could grill hamburgers later, so Jethro took Mattie and headed for the beach. He had drinks and snacks and the plan was to spend the day on the sand and in the water. There was plenty of shade for napping and digging holes which is what Mattie really liked doing.

First they took a walk and Mattie splashed in the water getting himself and his daddy all wet. Mattie started running which he knew from experience would cause his daddy to chase him and eventually scoop him up and swing him around. Mattie loved that game and over and over again he would run a ways away, turn around and laugh at Jethro then run some more. Sometimes he laughed so hard when Jethro scooped him up he could barely breathe. This particular game never got old for father or son. Finally, Mattie couldn't run anymore and he just sat down in the sand at the edge of the water splashing his hands in the shallows. Jethro sat behind him, his legs on either side of Mattie. The little boy scooped sand and put it on his daddy's legs then leaned back and relaxed. Jethro was as relaxed and happy at that moment as he had been in almost three years. All the stress and sadness and difficulty of being gone and Jenny's illness and death were being washed away in the sea. Jethro leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes letting the breeze and the sound of the water work their magic.

"We're gonna be okay, Mattie. Your daddy is gonna be okay."

"Daddy."

After some shade time and a drink, Mattie wanted to go in the water so Jethro stripped off his shirt and sprayed himself and Mattie with sunblock.

"Let's go little man. Let's go get wet."

Mattie ran for the water knowing his daddy would be right behind him. Just as Mattie got to the waters edge Jethro grabbed him up and spun him around. Mattie laughed right along with his dad and the two of them headed out into the water. Jethro went out until he was chest deep holding Matthew securely in his arms. Then he laid Mattie on his stomach and the little boy kicked his feet and put his face in the water just like he'd done in the pool. Jethro wasn't sure he'd like the salty water but Mattie didn't seem to care. He wiped his eyes and smiled at his daddy.

"You're gonna be a swimmer in no time aren't you? Your mom would be very proud of you, Mattie."

"Daddy", Mattie patted his daddy's face and repeated his favorite word of the day, "Daddy".

The two of them played in the water for quite a while and just as Jethro thought they should head for the beach and some shade he saw someone walking toward them from the house. Ana.

Jethro watched her approach for a minute then he started in. The day was looking better and better.

Ana saw Jethro and Matthew playing out in the water. She was anxious to see Jethro and it did her heart good to see him laughing and enjoying his son. As she got nearer the water she saw Jethro notice her and watch for a moment. Then he started towards her. Damn he looked good, tan and fit, water glistening on his skin and clinging to the sprinkling of hair on his chest. And Matthew, what a cute little boy laughing and obviously having fun. Ana walked to the edge of the water to greet them. Jethro smiled at her and suddenly she felt a little weak in the knees. She might have thought she'd gotten over him a little bit but seeing him again she knew that was far from true.

Jethro emerged from the water holding Matthew on his hip. He reached for Ana with his free hand and ignoring the fact he was all wet pulled her into a one-armed hug.

"Whew, you are a sight for sore eyes." He kissed the side of her head and drew back so he could see her.

"Hello, Jethro. You look like you're having fun out there. It's good to see you."

Ana had one hand on his arm and with the other she patted Matthew on the back. Mattie smiled at her and held out his hand.

"Hello Matthew, I'm so happy to meet you."

"Mattie, this is daddy's friend Ana. Can you say hi?"

"Ana, hi."

"Hi Matthew."

Jethro grinned with pride.

"C'mon let's get in the shade. Did you see Mike up at the house?"

"Actually I came out with him. I was coming out anyway and he saw me in town and offered a ride."

"Great, can you stay and eat with us later? Just burgers and chips and beer."

"I'd love that. I brought a birthday cake and ice cream too. Oh and this is for Matthew. For his birthday."

Ana handed Jethro a large gift bag with a balloons and a Happy Birthday on it.

"Wow, thank you. I didn't even think about a cake. We don't do much celebrating yet but that's really nice. Thank you."

Matthew reached for the colorful bag with a big smile on his face.

"Let's go sit down and you can see what's in the bag."

They got towels and Jethro dried Mattie off first then himself and then he slipped on a tee shirt. He spread out a blanket and they all settled so Mattie could open his present. Jethro untied the ribbon holding the bag closed and Mattie quickly pulled out a plastic dump truck, a pail and a shovel.

"Hey, Mattie you can dig up some sand and haul it away in the truck. Can you tell Ana thank you?"

Matthew looked at Ana and grinned and said, "Tank you, Ana."

"You are very welcome Matthew. Happy Birthday."

"Can you tell Ana how old you are?"

Holding up two chubby fingers he said, "Two."

Then he took his shovel and the truck and went to the other side of the shade to dig and move the sand around.

"That was really nice of you. Thanks. He'll wear that truck out while we're here. He loves trucks."

"I'm glad he likes it. He speaks well for just now being two."

"He actually knows a lot of words but he is kinda choosy about when to talk. Some days he won't say a word all day."

"Gee I wonder where he gets that from? Probably from the same guy he gets his good looks and blue eyes."

"Yeah, well I hope he gets his smarts from his mom."

"I happen to think his daddy is a pretty smart fellow. Seriously, Jethro he's wonderful. So happy and friendly. You're obviously doing a great job."

"Noemi helps a lot. I don't know what I'd do with her. I hate the idea of daycare so we're really lucky to have her at home with Mattie."

"That is a blessing. I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch lately. I get busy and forget to call and then sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn't or…."

Jethro reached out and touched her hand. "I understand. Can we talk later?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

"How's your mom?"

"The same. She has end stage heart failure so it's a matter of time. We've been preparing for this for a long time."

They were quiet for a few minutes watching Mattie play in the sand and remembering the last time they were here together.

"Tell me what you two have been doing down here with Grandpa Mike."

Jethro brought her up-to-date on their visit and all the new things Matthew was doing these days. Ana caught him up on the news in town and some of her cases in the clinic. Pretty soon Mattie crawled into his dad's lap and fell asleep. Jethro and Ana fell into a quiet conversation for a while then just sat and enjoyed their surroundings and the fact they were finally together again.

Jethro had almost the same worries he'd had before; that he would hurt Ana because he couldn't return her feelings for him. Ana knew she was still in love with Jethro but she also knew he was still not available to her. Whether he ever would be or not was not something she was hoping to learn in the next few days. She had almost weekly arguments with herself about waiting for Jethro to be ready or moving on and being open to other relationships. Maybe in the next few days she'd get a sense of what was possible and what wasn't.

They spent the rest of the morning playing in the water and walking on the beach. Mattie dug lots of holes and buried his dad's feet which he thought was lots of fun. When they returned to the shade, Mike was there with sandwiches and cold drinks. The weather was so perfect they stayed on the beach all afternoon. Conversation was easy among the three adults and Mattie provided the entertainment. He had decided this would be a talking day and so he said just about every word he knew and added some things no one understood and they all pretended to understand everything he said. Eventually he wound down and curled up in his dad's lap and fell asleep again.

"He must really like it here; he hasn't said that much in a long time."

"Must be the salt air. I'm heading up to the house. Want me to take him up and put him in the bed?"

"Yeah, maybe you should. He needs a good nap."

Mike took the sleeping boy from his dad and carried him easily to the house and deposited him in Jethro's bed. Mattie stretched out, mumbled something then clutching his tiger, fell back asleep. Mike sat on the porch and wondered what would go on down at the beach now that Jethro and Ana were finally alone.

"He is so darn cute. Is he always so easygoing?"

"Pretty much. He wakes up happy and rarely gets upset by anything. But, what does he really have to be upset about? Noemi adores him and he knows it. He's livin' the good life for sure."

"Well, that's what he's supposed to do isn't it? Jethro, how are you really?"

Jethro looked over at her and held out his hand, "Let's walk."

Ana took his hand and together they walked down to the water and along the beach. Jethro kept her hand in his and didn't say anything for a long time. Ana knew to be patient so she was content with holding his hand and walking. She knew he'd answer eventually and he did.

"I'm okay. I miss Jenny of course but I'm okay. Work helps. Keeps me busy and of course Matthew is my salvation. Jenny knew he would be and she was right. If I didn't have Mattie I'd have been back here long ago and drowning in a bottle."

"I doubt that."

"You shouldn't. But, that's not the case, thank god. Mattie gets me up in the morning and makes the days worthwhile."

"That's a lot of responsibility for a little boy, Jethro."

Jethro stopped and stood in front of her. Ana looked up at him and thought for sure she'd said a wrong thing.

"That's what Jen said one day. That my happiness was too much responsibility for Matthew. She told me she wanted me to be happy again and that happiness couldn't be only from Mattie."

"She was a smart woman."

"Yeah, she was. And I agree and believe she was right but…."

"But it's hard to let that happen. It's hard to imagine loving another woman."

"Yes, it is. Sometimes I think about it and want it but I just can't see it yet."

"You will. Some day. You are a very passionate person, Jethro and you will someday want to share your love with someone else."

"I don't want to hurt you Ana. I seem to say that to you a lot but it's what I worry about."

"Please don't. I'm just going to say this and hope I don't ruin the day for us. I love you, Jethro. I think you know that. I loved you when you left here two years ago and I still do. I know you're not ready to love again. When you are, if you think I could be that person I'll be here."

"Ana, you can't spend your life waiting on me."

"Not my whole life. Just the next year or so. I'm not in a hurry and I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick so let me worry about me. You just worry about yourself and Mattie."

"You sure you'd want to start out with a toddler?"

"I think I could force myself to love your son. That wouldn't be a problem."

Jethro framed her face in his big hands and leaned down and kissed her. It was a soft, clingy kiss that didn't last as long as he might have liked but it tasted like water to a drowning man and he was afraid to take too much at a time. Ana had no such fears and she stood up on her tiptoes and pulled him back for another that was more serious and reminded him that she was indeed a very good kisser.

Ana's arms wrapped around him and Jethro was trying very hard not to let his hands roam over the bare skin of her back but after all she was wearing a bikini and he has having a very difficult time controlling himself. The kiss came to an end and reluctantly Ana started to move back. Jethro held on and rested his forehead on hers.

"Maybe we better get in the water and cool off."

Ana laughed in his arms. Cooling off was the last thing she wanted to do but she was resolved not to push him too fast.

"Probably a good idea."

Still they didn't move.

"Maybe just one more kiss?" he was already moving to her lips so there was no need to reply. Jethro tunneled his fingers in her thick, dark hair and kissed her until she thought she might lose her mind. She opened her mouth to him and Jethro tasted her and remembered and kept at it until he absolutely had to breathe. It was intense and tender and oh so sweet. Neither of them moved for a long time; they just stood there wrapped in each others arms and forced themselves to relax and calm down.

"Wow, okay now we really have to get in the water. Or get a room."

Jethro laughed. Really laughed, from the gut for the first time in a very long time.

"C'mon then, to the water."

After some floating and swimming and just standing in the cool water for a while they got out and headed back to the shade. They stretched out on the blanket and let the warm air dry them. Jethro tried very hard to ignore the fact that he was lying next to a barely-clothed, beautiful woman who just about twenty minutes ago had told him she loved him. He told himself it was too soon and not fair to her and that he was leaving again in a few days. He thought he was doing alright until he felt Ana's hand in his. That touch of her small, soft hand against his rough fingers was his undoing. He gave himself a moment to reconsider before he rolled onto his side and looked down at her and kissed her.

This kiss was not like the others. This kiss was full of desire and need and it rocked Ana's world. Jethro was closer now, his leg between hers and his warm, hard body pressing against her. Ana's hands were searching for something to hold onto. One hand went to the back of his head to keep his mouth in place and the other was pulling him closer. Instead of winding down the kiss grew in intensity and the small sounds she was making were driving Jethro crazy. When he had to breathe he broke the kiss only long enough to take in some air and then he was back. He was fully on top of her now, holding her hands down on either side of her head. He kissed down her throat and then directly back to her mouth which he simply could not get enough of. Ana felt his erection between them and some tiny part of her brain told her they needed to get themselves under control. That was so far from what she truly wanted it was hard for her to grasp the thought but somehow she did.

Jethro seemed to come to the same conclusion at the same time because he eased back on the kiss and started to move off to the side.

"We can't do this here. As much as I want you Jethro, obviously this is not the place."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm not sorry and I don't want you to be either. I just don't want Mike to interrupt us."

"Ana, I'm not even sure what I'm doing."

"I don't know you seemed to know exactly what you were doing. And doing it very well I might add."

"I mean just a while ago I was telling you I'm not ready and now, now I want you so much I can hardly control myself."

"And I want you but we'll have to wait a while. Just think about all the sand around here. Is this really where you want to….?"

"No! Never mind. Let's slow down."

They lingered on the beach a while longer then gathered their belongings and took off for the house. Jethro left the shade and the chairs behind; they would be safe there overnight. Mike was napping in the hammock on the porch and apparently Mattie was still asleep.

"You want to take a shower before we eat?"

"Oh yes, that would be nice. I won't be but a few minutes."

"Take your time."

While Ana was in the bathroom Jethro checked on Mattie and found him sprawled out on the bed still sound asleep. He went back to the porch and sat down with a cold beer. Mike woke up and Jethro handed him a beer.

"The little one still sleepin'?"

"Yeah. All that running around and the sun and water really wipes him out. That's okay. He needs a good long nap so he can stay up tonight and have birthday cake."

"You two sort things out?"

"Workin' on it."

Ana appeared in a few minutes feeling much cooler and smelling very nice.

"Okay, I'm next. You want a beer?"

"Yes, please."

She followed him into the kitchen of the little house and took her beer back outside while Jethro went to shower. Just after Jethro stepped in the shower Matthew woke up and slid out of bed. He headed to the porch, barefooted and wearing only a diaper. Mattie stood looking out the screen door and not seeing his daddy he started back to the bedroom. Ana happened to look up in time to see him turn around and she got up and went to the door.

"Hey, Matthew. Wanna come outside with me and Mike?"

"Daddy."

"Daddy's in the shower."

Matthew considered her for a moment then decided he'd like to go outside after all. He went back to the door and Ana opened it for him and let him walk out onto the porch.

"Hi little man. You had a long nap."

"Hi, Ike."

"Kid can't say his M's yet apparently. Mattie can you say hi to Ana."

Mattie turned to Ana and grinned his father's half grin. "Hi Ana."

"Hi, Mattie. Should we go get you a dry diaper?"

Mattie actually looked down at his obviously full diaper then looked back at her and said, "Yes."

"They're in the bedroom on the chest."

Ana took Mattie by the hand and he led her back to the bedroom he was sharing with his dad. Ana hoped Jethro didn't appear from the shower in nothing but a towel in the next few minutes. Or did she? Well anyway, they found the diapers and Ana expertly changed Mattie who seemingly could have done the whole thing himself. As soon as he was securely in a fresh diaper, Mattie jumped off the bed and headed back to the porch. Ana tossed the diaper in the trash can and turned to leave the room and ran smack into Jethro.

"Sneaking around my room are ya?"

"Changing your son's diaper is all."

Sure enough he was wearing only shorts and his hair was wet and he smelled wonderfully masculine and clean and sexy. Damn!

He leaned down and kissed her. Just a soft, sweet kiss but it curled her toes anyway.

"Umm you smell good."

"You too. Thanks for taking care of Mattie."

"My pleasure."

They were standing very close together and Ana couldn't help but reach out and run her hands up his sides and across his back. Jethro responded by kissing her again. He was very conscious of the bed just inches behind her and in his mind he imagined lots of wonderful scenarios but none of them included his two year old son being just a screen door away. Not to mention his crusty old boss just on the other side of that screen door and liable to appear any moment. With that image in his mind, Jethro was able to bring the kiss to an end and separate himself from Ana.

"Too many people too close."

"I know. Maybe another time."

"Definitely another time."

Ana ran her hand across his chest on her way past him and out the door.

"Get dressed and come join us."

When Jethro walked out onto the porch with some crackers and cheese and more drinks including a cup of juice for Mattie, the little boy was sitting on Ana's lap showing her his favorite book. Jethro stopped in the doorway and watched for a moment soaking in the sight of his son with a woman he thought he might someday be able to love. In that moment, seeing Mattie happily talking away with Ana, Jethro resolved to get himself on track as soon as he could and move on with his life so Mattie could have a mom. Not the sole reason to do so but certainly a motivating factor in getting to a point of healing and moving forward.

Jethro brought out the snacks and Mattie jumped down to go to him.

"Daddy, Ana story."

"Ana is reading you a story?

"Story. Ana nice."

"Yes, Ana is nice. You want some crackers and juice?"

While they ate snacks Jethro lit the charcoal and when the coals were just right he brought out the hamburger patties and got them cooking. Between him and Ana they got all the food together and before long everyone was sitting around the table enjoying perfect hamburgers and chips and beans. Mattie was eating mostly beans and chips and every now and then some meat. He wasn't a messy eater because as his father pointed out, almost everything went in his mouth.

When they had finished eating Mike cleared away the leftovers and threw out the paper plates. Ana brought out the cake complete with two candles. Mike lit the candles, they sang Happy Birthday and with his daddy's help, Mattie blew out his candles. Ana served cake and ice cream and the party continued. Mattie loved ice cream, something he had inherited from his mother mostly. Jethro had two pieces of cake as did Mike.

"Ana, that was best cake I've had in a long time. Did you make it yourself?"

"Thank you Mike. I just followed the directions on the box, nothing too hard about it."

"Thank you for the cake and ice cream and coming to celebrate Mattie's birthday with us. I don't think it would have been a party without you."

"Tanks Ana."

"You are welcome Matthew. Happy Birthday."

Jethro cleared away the plates and put the cake back in the kitchen so he wouldn't eat a third piece. As he was about to suggest a walk on the beach Ana's phone rang.

"Dr. Mendez."

Ana stepped out on the porch to take the call. When she came back in Jethro was sure he saw disappointment on her face. Damn, he thought, there goes our walk on the beach and whatever else was going to happen tonight.

"I'm sorry guys I need to get back to town."

"Your mom?"

"No, Mrs. Rodriguez's twins. They are about to make an appearance so I need to get to the clinic to meet her and her husband."

"Okay, I'll drive you. Mattie you stay here with Grandpa Mike and daddy will be back in a little while."

"I go too."

"No, you stay here and I'll be back."

Mattie wasn't happy but he didn't fuss. Mike scooped him up and took him to the porch as Jethro and Ana headed to the truck.

"He'll be fine. We'll read some stories. You two be careful."

Neither Jethro or Ana said anything for a while. Ana was thinking about Mrs. Rodriguez and the babies and mentally organizing everything she'd need. Luckily Eric, her friend who had been running the clinic while she was with her mother, was still there and would assist.

"Can I do anything to help? I have delivered a baby before."

"Really?"

"Yeah, in the back of a car actually. Lots of shooting going on. Very exciting."

"Gee, I don't think this will be that exciting as you call it. Thanks but Eric will be there. I'm sorry for this ending to our night, Jethro."

"Occupational hazard. I know all about that. It's okay. Can I see you tomorrow."

"I'll bring supper out. When are you leaving?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"Then I'll bring lunch and we'll make it a day. If that's okay."

"Perfect. I could come pick you up. That way I'll have an excuse to bring you home."

"I like that idea."

Jethro pulled up at the clinic just as Mrs. Rodriguez and her husband arrived. Eric came out and helped the very pregnant mom get inside. Ana leaned over and gave Jethro a quick kiss.

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

AN: This is a short one so maybe there will be another later this evening.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 17

On the drive back to the beach Jethro realized he was partly disappointed and partly relieved the evening ended as it did. He wanted to get his thoughts sorted out before he talked to Ana and now he had plenty of time to get that done.

When he got back to the house Mattie was asleep so he joined Mike on the porch for a beer.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Eric was there already."

"It was a good day. I'm glad Ana could come out."

"Yes, it was a good day. She and I have some talking to do. She's coming out tomorrow for lunch and spending the day."

"Talkin' is not what you two need to do."

"Well, maybe not but that's where we are right now. She's too important for me to just jump in when I'm not really ready. Timing, distance, lots of things against us right now. But not forever hopefully."

"She likes Mattie for sure and he seems to like her."

"Yes on both counts. I'm happy about that. Seeing him with her today, I know he needs a mom. I won't let it go too long."

"Good."

Jethro arrived at the clinic the next day just before noon. He hadn't seen it since he'd finished work and at that time Ana wasn't moved in yet. He was anxious to see how things were going. Ana met him in the reception area and took him back to her office. He was happy to see she was apparently enjoying her desk.

"Place looks good. Everything still as you like it?"

"Yes, it's wonderful. And my desk is fabulous. I think of you every day when I come in here."

"Then it was worth the effort. Ready to go?"

"Yes, Carmelita has our lunch at the cantina we just need to stop and pick it up."

"Hey, what about the babies?"

"Everything went smoothly. A boy and a girl. Mom and babies are fine. Dad's a bit overwhelmed but they'll do fine."

When they got to the house Matthew and Mike were down at the beach and Jethro whistled for them to come up and eat. Mattie took off as fast as his little legs would go but Mike quickly caught him and swung him up on his shoulders. Mattie squealed and laughed as Mike deposited him on the porch.

"Ike catch me, Daddy."

"Yes he did. Are you hungry?"

"Okay. Hi Ana."

"Hello Matthew. Should we go wash up?"

"Okay."

Ana looked at Jethro with a question in her eyes and he smiled and nodded. Ana led Mattie into the house so he could wash his hands while Jethro and Mike got the food out. Carmelita had made enchilada's just for Jethro and sent along beans, rice, chips and salsa. Jethro knew he would miss Carmelita's cooking when he was gone so he took advantage while he could.

The afternoon was spent on the beach sitting in the shade or playing in water. Mattie took his nap under the shade while his daddy and Ana just relaxed and enjoyed being together. Their conversation was nothing special and nothing really personal. All that would have to wait until later, away from little boy ears. There was some kissing and lots of touching and lots of laughing.

While Mattie was asleep Jethro gave Ana a kiss and then settled his chair very close to hers and reached for her hand. After a few minutes he sighed and Ana knew something was coming.

"This is some of what I miss the most."

"The beach?" Ana was confused because she thought at first he was talking about Jenny.

"No, I mean just sitting close to someone, holding hands. Just the everyday physical contact we take for granted. I miss that. A lot."

"I can imagine. We do take those simple pleasures for granted. I guess I hadn't thought of that."

Jethro was staring out at the water and when he spoke his voice was quiet and betrayed a lot of emotion. Ana thought he sounded like he had when they used to talk about Jenny over lunch years ago.

"You know what's harder than losing someone you love?" He didn't wait for her to respond, he went on, "It's losing someone who loves you. Someone who thought you were special and who always made you feel good. That's really, really hard. That's what takes so long to get used to. At least for me."

Ana was afraid to speak because she knew she was about to cry and that didn't seem like a good idea. She squeezed his hand instead and let the sounds of the sea wash over them. After she'd had time to control her emotions she leaned over and gave Jethro a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Do you think you will ever want someone else to love you like that?"

"I hope so."

"Me too."

When Matthew woke up they went out and played in the water for a long time until they were all tired and hungry.

"Let's go to the house and get something to eat, okay Mattie?"

"Yes, eat."

"Just like his father; always ready to eat."

"That's right."

Jethro fixed Mattie some supper while Ana helped him take a bath. Jethro was very impressed by how easily she managed Mattie and how quickly his son had gotten comfortable with Ana. Both good signs of course. When Mattie ran out of the bathroom butt naked with Ana close behind Jethro knew Mattie had pulled his favorite trick; running out while the adult reached for the clothes. Mattie streaked right out the door onto the porch and into the arms of Mike who was just getting up to go inside.

"Whoa there little man, where you goin'?"

"Outside."

"Nope, you gotta get some clothes on and eat some supper. Your daddy's got it all ready for you."

Ana grinned at the little boy now squirming in Mike's firm grasp.

"He's very fast."

"Yes he is and he loves to be naked. Sorry, shoulda warned you."

"It's okay."

She handed Mike the diaper and the clothes and he quickly had Mattie dressed and sitting in his seat for supper.

"You two gonna eat?"

"Actually I was hoping we could leave Mattie with you after he eats and we'd go into town for dinner. That okay? I won't be late."

"That's fine. And be as late as you want. He'll be asleep in no time as much sun and water as he's had today."

"I think you're right. In fact if he makes it through one story I'll be surprised."

Matthew made it through one story but just barely. He fell asleep before Jethro had the book closed. Mattie wriggled down under the covers and didn't even know his daddy was leaving.

Jethro and Ana drove back to town and had dinner at a small restaurant that was new since Jethro had been gone. They had an enjoyable time but there was a tension between them that only some privacy was going to ease. Ana's small apartment was a short walk away so they left the truck and walked, hand-in-hand the two blocks to her door. Jethro could feel Ana's nervousness as she walked beside him. He knew how the evening was going to end and it probably wasn't what Ana was expecting. Or, considering that she seemed to know him pretty well maybe she knew too. When they got to the apartment Ana let them in and led Jethro to the small kitchen where she put on coffee and turned to look at him still in the doorway.

"I have a feeling we're going to be doing some talking; more talking than what I'd like probably. Am I right?"

"We are going to do some talking, yes. I have something I need to say."

"I figured. Do you realize it was exactly two years ago tonight that we were in San Diego, went out to dinner and then to our separate rooms at the hotel?"

"Yes, I remember. And, you know our situation although changed isn't all that different really."

"So you keep saying."

Was that anger he heard in her voice or frustration or resignation? He couldn't tell but he knew before the evening was over he'd probably hear them all

"Do you disagree?"

"I can't really. I've made myself pretty clear I think. What happens next is all up to you Jethro. The difference I see is that two years ago you were married and trying to fix your marriage. And, you were going home to a woman who as it turns out was still very much in love with you. The right choice then without a doubt."

"And now? Tell me how you see it now, Ana."

The coffee was ready and Ana bought herself some time by pouring them each a cup and handing one to Jethro. She moved to sit at the table and Jethro sat down across from her. Ana poured a little cream into her coffee and took a sip. Then she looked across at the man she loved, watched him twisting his wedding ring on his finger, and resigned herself to sleeping alone tonight and for many more nights to come.

"Now, obviously and tragically you are not married. Not technically anyway. You are still married in your heart though and that is completely understandable and to be expected. The other difference is that now you are going home to your life without the woman you were so desperately in love with two years ago. You are leaving behind another woman who is in love with you. Again, the only choice really. Not one I like much but I certainly understand it."

Jethro didn't say anything for a long time. He stared into his coffee and let Ana's words soak in. She was exactly right in her analysis of the situation. The only thing she left out was how much he wanted her. How much he wanted to take her to bed and find some release for all the tension between them. All the desire he had for her and all the need he had for someone to be intimate with again. He wanted to convey all that to her but he wasn't sure he could. But, given how she'd opened her heart and soul to him he knew he owed it to her to at least try. Finally he looked up and saw her watching him. He took her hands in his and closed his eyes before he began.

"Okay, I'm probably going to fumble around with this so please be patient. Everything you said was right but there is something more I want you to know. When I said yesterday that I wanted you I was being completely honest. I want to touch every part of you and kiss you and hold you and have you do all those things to me. I thought for a while yesterday that was how this night was going to go. But then I realized it wouldn't be right. Not now.

Ana, I want to be able to make love to you, not just have sex with you. Tonight, if we wound up in bed it would be good I'm sure and we would enjoy it but it wouldn't be right because I can't give you all of me. Not yet."

Jethro felt himself tensing up so he stood and walked around the little kitchen for a moment. He stood with his back against the sink and looked at Ana who he thought, might be about to cry. He hoped she didn't because that would be his undoing.

"When I met Jenny it had been a long time since Shannon died. I'd had several years to get past that loss and still, it was hard for me to admit I loved another woman. A part of me still belonged to Shannon but over time that part became smaller and smaller and there was room for me to love Jenny. She helped me understand it wasn't a betrayal for me to love again. Right now a big part of me still belongs to Jenny. You're right, in a lot of ways, a lot of the time, I still think of myself as married. I know loving again won't be a betrayal of Jenny and I'm sure I will love again but right now, this month, tonight, I can't. I simply cannot give you all of me and I won't ask you to settle for some part of me that just wants to feel better."

Ana stood up and went to him and Jethro let her lean into him and wrap her arms around him. He did the same to her and they stood there just holding on for long minutes. After a while Ana leaned back and kissed him softly on the mouth. Jethro saw she was smiling. That surprised him but he liked it much more than crying.

"Why are you smiling? I mean I'm glad to see it but honestly I was afraid you might cry."

"Me too. I'm smiling because you have just confirmed for me that I have fallen in love with the most decent, honorable man on the planet. I am not at all surprised by what you said Jethro because you are a good man and you have always been totally honest with me. I know you're not ready and that's okay. I will wait. Just as I said yesterday, when you are ready, if you are still interested in me, I'll be here. Just don't take too long."

"Ana, what if you meet someone else. Someone who lives in the same country for example. Someone you want to be with. You have to let yourself be open to that possibility. You're young and beautiful and you deserve to have everything you want."

"Jethro, I will still be young and beautiful in another year, don't you think?"

"Of course, but…..?"

"No buts, here's my offer. I will wait for you for one year. If in that time you are not ready to go forward with your life with me or someone else even, I will tell you I do not love you anymore and I am marrying a doctor or maybe a sailor and will live happily ever after with him. How's that?"

"You cannot marry a sailor! Okay, one year and then we'll see."

"Or less than a year but definitely no more."

"Deal. Now kiss me and then I have to go. I have to pack. We leave early tomorrow."

She kissed him and then he kissed her and that went on for a while. The white hot tension had been broken by their talk and joking about the future but the kisses were still full of emotion and not a small dose of lust. Eventually though Jethro found the strength to leave her and after one last kiss and a long embrace he said goodbye and walked back to the truck. He didn't look back because he was afraid she wouldn't be standing there and that would hurt too much. And if she was standing there he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep walking.

The next morning Mike drove Jethro and Mattie to the airport and they started on their long journey home. The two men had stayed up late talking so Jethro was hoping Mattie was as good on the trip home as he had been on the way down. Jethro needed a nap.

"You take care Probie. I understand what you told Ana but don't take the whole year to make up your mind. She's a wonderful woman and she'd make a great mom for our little man."

"I know but it has to be right for the two of us first. And don't forget, she lives here and I don't.'

"Last time I checked they had doctors in Virginia. She'd move to the moon for you Jethro. But, you're right, it has to be good for the two of you first."

"Thanks for having us Mike. It was a great week. Keep an eye on Ana for me. I'll be in touch."

Mike gave Mattie a hug and kissed him goodbye.

"You be good for daddy now. I'll see you later."

"Bye Ike. I love you."

"I love you too, Mattie. Bye Jethro. Take care of yourself."

"You too."

Luckily for Jethro, Matthew was a perfect traveler. He fell asleep in his daddy's lap and daddy fell asleep soon after. The trip was long but uneventful and they arrived home on schedule. By the time Jethro gathered their bags and got them to the car Mattie was about to crash and burn. Jethro stopped for a burger and fries on the way home and once they were finally there Mattie was much happier. Jethro shared the burger and fries then herded Mattie upstairs for a bath and some stories. Sleeping together in Mexico had been a necessity and Jethro hoped Mattie wouldn't ask to sleep with him tonight. Luckily, the little boy seemed to have missed his own bed too and he happily went to sleep in his own room.

Jethro took a long, hot shower and collapsed on the bed but instead of falling asleep he reached for his phone.

"Dr. Mendez."

"Hi, we're home safe and sound."

"I'm glad. How was Mattie on the trip?"

"He was good. Slept a lot and was just really a good traveler. Hey, I had a great time seeing you."

"Me too. Happy New Year, Jethro."

"Thanks. I'm about asleep so I'll let you go. Take care Ana."

"You take care of yourself Jethro. Kiss Mattie for me."

"I will. Bye."

Jethro fell into a dreamless sleep that was not interrupted even once by little feet to the kidney or a small head to the gut. About seven o'clock the next morning the owner of those small feet did manage to climb up on daddy's big bed and snuggle under the covers for another hour or so but that was just fine with the daddy.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**Betrayal**

Chapter 18

Life resumed its normal routine in the Gibbs household after the new year. Jethro was busy at work and Noemi was busy chasing after a newly energetic two year old. Matthew was learning new words every day and when he decided to talk it was hard to get him to stop. Jethro said his son was definitely taking after his mom in the verbal skills department. Noemi agreed but said Mattie was sneaky like his father and hard to keep track of sometimes.

Three weeks after they got home Mike called one night to say Ana's mother had died. Jethro called Ana the next morning but the snow that was falling at the rate of about an inch every hour prevented him from going out for the funeral. Instead he talked to Ana every day for five days in a row and she said it made her feel a lot better to know he was there for her. Jethro realized on about the third day that he missed her.

"Hey, why don't you come out here this summer for a while. Mattie and I will take you sailing. We can do all the tourist stuff in DC. It'll be fun."

"That does sound like fun. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for calling these last few days, I really appreciate it."

"I miss you Ana."

"You do? I miss you Jethro. I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye."

Of course the snow eventually melted and January gave way to February. It was a cold, windy month and Jethro was really getting tired of winter. Mattie loved being outdoors but it had been so cold and yucky they hadn't done much outside for a while. Noemi liked to take him to the park a few times a week but lately it just wasn't park weather. Mattie was getting tired of being inside all the time so by the time Jethro got home in the evenings he was sometimes pretty unhappy. Noemi would just smile and wish Jethro good luck as she pulled on her coat and gloves and headed home.

One night Matthew was simply inconsolable and nothing Jethro tried was working. He let him play in the bathtub, played his favorite music and even bribed him with ice cream. Still Mattie was fussy and unhappy. Finally Jethro remembered the book tapes. For some reason he hadn't used them since Christmas but on this night he knew that was his last option except just putting Mattie to bed and letting him fuss himself to sleep. Jethro carried Mattie upstairs and playfully dumped him on Jethro's bed.

"Will you stay right there while I get some books?"

"Okay."

Jethro looked at his son in his dinosaur pajamas, his big blue eyes and long eyelashes wet with tears and his heart melted.

"I love you Matthew. I'll be right back."

After a short search through the books in Mattie's room Jethro returned with two new stories and the recorder. As soon as Mattie saw the recorder he crawled over to his daddy and hugged his arm.

"Mama read story", he said with obvious excitement in his voice.

Jethro was so surprised he didn't know what to say. Of course he had always explained about the recordings but he hadn't thought Matthew remembered. It pleased him no end that his son did remember and was so excited to hear his mom's voice.

"That's right, we're gonna listen to mom read you a new story. You ready?"

"Ready."

Jethro sat back against the headboard and Mattie climbed onto his lap leaning back against his dad's chest. Jethro started the recording of The Pokey Little Puppy and Mattie was mesmerized. They hadn't listened to this story yet and it was a hit. Jethro remembered reading it to Kelly and that it was one of her favorites.

When the story ended Mattie patted the book and said, "Again".

So, they listened to it again. Then Jethro got another new story, The Saggy Baggy Elephant, and they listened to that one two times too. Jethro was relieved that Jenny's voice had calmed Mattie down and seemed to soothe him when nothing else had. It was bittersweet though because while Mattie was comforted by his mother's voice, Jethro was not sure how it was making him feel. He was consciously trying to move forward but hearing that sweet voice he knew so well was a harsh reminder of what he'd lost and what he missed so much. Maybe he was trying too hard.

While February had been a drag, March turned out to be even more of a downer month for the Gibbs boys. Mattie caught a cold somehow and couldn't seem to shake it. He was congested and coughing for days and both Noemi and Jethro were exhausted trying to care for one small boy. One evening when he got home Noemi reported Mattie had a fever and even though she had given him Tylenol he was not better. And, he was refusing any food or drink and said his throat hurt. When Mattie heard his daddy's voice the little boy got off the couch where he'd been resting and stumbled to his dad. Jethro picked him up and could tell immediately his son was feverish.

"Okay, I'm calling Ducky."

"Should I stay for a while?"

"No, Noemi I'm sure you're tired. Go on home and I think I'll stay home tomorrow so why don't you take the day off. You deserve a break after the last few days."

"If you are sure I will do that."

She rubbed Mattie's back and kissed his cheek.

"Goodbye sweet boy. I love you."

Mattie held his hand out to her and said, "I love you Eemy." That was his version of Noemi which he simply couldn't say just yet.

Ducky arrived thirty minutes later and after a quick exam and hearing what all they'd been through in the last week he was sure he knew what the problem was.

"It appears his tonsils are very inflamed. If he says his throat hurts I'm not surprised. I suggest a trip to his pediatrician tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised if he winds up getting his tonsils out in the near future."

"Really? Geez, is it that bad already?"

"Well, let's see what the doctor says but I suspect so. I could be wrong though. They'll likely want to give him a round of antibiotics first to see if that will solve the problem."

"Okay, would you like to stay for supper? Noemi has a roast in there and I'm sure there's plenty."

"That would be wonderful thank you."

The next day Jethro was able to get Matthew seen by his pediatrician, Dr. Gray. She did a throat culture that was negative for strep but she prescribed an antibiotic for the beginnings of an ear infection and his very swollen tonsils and she suggested an over-the-counter cough syrup.

"If he's not better by the time the antibiotic is gone come see me again."

"We will. Thanks doc."

"Jethro, how are you doing?"

"Pretty good I guess. It's been a tough couple of months but hopefully we're on the mend."

"Not Matthew. How are you?"

Dr. Gray was familiar with the whole story of Jenny's cancer and death and was very supportive of Jethro as a single father. She was always available to him and had answered several late night calls from Jethro on her personal cell.

"Depends on the day really. I'm trying to think about a future but every time I think I can see that I find I'm just not ready."

"Don't be in rush. Give yourself time, Jethro. It's only been what, two years since Matthew was born and not that long that his mom's been gone. You need time to heal from all that."

"I know but I worry about Mattie not having a mom."

"Jethro, you are a wonderful father and you are doing a splendid job. I know Noemi is a big help. The worst thing you could do would be to bring someone into Matthew's life before you were ready and have it end badly."

"That's true and that's part of what I worry about."

"I know you didn't come here for my advice on your personal life but I worry about you Jethro so you'll have to indulge me my opinion."

"I appreciate what you're saying and I thank you for your concern. It helps."

"Now, go on and get this little one his medicine and hopefully that will take care of it."

"Thank you. For everything."

Ten days later the antibiotics were gone and two days after that the sore throat was back. Mattie was miserable and nothing Noemi or his dad did made things better. So, it was back to the doctor. While Jethro sat in the waiting room of Dr. Gray's office he thought maybe taking the tonsils out was the answer if they were really the problem. He just wanted his son to feel better. After examining Matthew, Dr. Gray told Jethro she wanted to get Matthew into the hospital the next day and get his tonsils removed.

"He will feel so much better once we do this and then we won't have this issue again. It's a very safe procedure that will keep him in the hospital overnight and home the next day."

"Okay."

Dr. Gray sensed Jethro's reluctance.

"He'll do fine Jethro."

"Daddy, we go home."

"Yes, we're going home. Tomorrow we're going to a special place where we'll get you fixed up so you don't have a sore throat anymore. Okay?"

"No."

"That's his new favorite word."

"Well, he's two so that's to be expected. I'll send over the referral and the hospital will call you later today to get the paperwork started. Don't worry, he'll be fine."

"Okay, thanks. C'mon little man let's go home."

"Yes, we go home."

The whole hospital stay was not as traumatic as Jethro feared it would be. For him or for Matthew. The procedure went smoothly and Matthew went home the next afternoon. He loved that he could have ice cream whenever he wanted and popsicles and pudding. Jethro spent the night in the hospital with him and Tony and Ziva had come to visit. Once he was home Abby came over and Ducky stopped by that night to make sure everything was alright. All in all it wasn't the terrible experience Jethro had feared it would be.

Ducky and Jethro were having tea in the kitchen while Mattie slept on the couch.

"He seems to have weathered the hospital experience very well."

"Yes, he did better than me I think. You know how I feel about hospitals."

"I do."

"Ducky, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you think it's too soon for me to be thinking about moving on with my life?"

"You mean in terms of a relationship?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think there is necessarily a time frame you have to abide by. I would be concerned if you had taken up with someone last year but now I think you have to think about your future. Do you have someone in mind?"

Jethro told Ducky about Ana. He started at the beginning with their first meeting and told the whole story right up to their most recent phone call which Jethro was surprised to realize had been almost a month ago. He talked about what a good time they all had at Christmas and how Mattie seemed to really like Ana and vice versa.

"She sounds like a very good person. You say she tells you she loves you but you haven't said how you feel about her in that regard."

"I can't say I love her. I think I could but I just don't feel ready."

"Has she given you some sort of time frame or deadline you are concerned about?"

"When I left she said she'd wait for a year."

"So you are feeling the pressure to somehow get to a point where you feel you love her?"

"I don't know exactly. I told her I didn't expect her to wait for me. I care for Ana, Duck. A lot. She's a really special person and I can see us together. She's great with Mattie and he likes her. She gets me, you know? When I was there two years ago she completely supported my need to come home and fix things between Jenny and I. She has never pressured me or had any kind of fit because I wasn't ready."

"Jethro, you cannot schedule how long it will take you to feel like you're ready to be with another woman. You know that Jenny would want you to be happy. I'm quite sure she made that clear to you herself. Am I right?"

"Yes, more than once. I don't worry about that."

"Then what it is? You must not worry about what other people might think. I know all of your friends will support you in a relationship that makes you happy and is good for Matthew."

"No, I don't worry about what others think. I'm not worried that Ana would be the wrong kind of person for me and Mattie; she'd be good for both of us."

"Then what is holding you back?"

Ducky could see Jethro was struggling to put into words what was in his heart. He watched as he friend concentrated on the empty mug in front of him and twisted his wedding ring around and around.

"When I think about being with Ana, making love to her, I can't get past the memory of Jenny and I together."

"You don't feel any sense of betraying Jenny but you can't imagine being intimate with Ana is that right."

"Yeah."

"Well, Jethro you and Jenny were together for a good number of years and I'm sure your sex life was satisfactory. You had a lot of time to get to know each other; to know what the other person liked and didn't. What they wanted and how and all that. You will have to start that process over with another woman. I suspect when you give yourself permission to love Ana you will not have a problem letting yourself experience intimacy with her. The real question I think is what is holding you back from loving again?"

"I don't know. I just keep saying I'm not ready but I don't know why. Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing everything and I don't want to do that and make a mistake."

"Ana does not sound like she would be a mistake."

"No, I don't think she would be but I can't get into a serious relationship with her until I can give her one hundred percent of me. I still miss Jenny. A lot."

"Of course you do. You will miss her for a long time. That sweet boy in the living room is a constant reminder of what you've lost. He is much more than that of course but yes, he is a reminder of his mother's absence. I don't imagine Ana will resent you for missing Jenny any more than Jenny resented that you still missed Shannon and Kelly when the two of you got together. Perhaps if Ana came out here for a visit it would help."

"I've invited her to come this summer."

"Then I suspect you will know this summer how this will turn out. Now, I must go home. Let me know if you or Mattie need anything tomorrow."

"Thanks Duck. I'm staying home with him so I think we'll be okay."

After Ducky left, Jethro took Matthew upstairs and put him in his own bed. Then he went to his bedroom and called Ana. When he'd realized how long it had been since they'd talked he was worried something was wrong. Or that he'd said something wrong the last time they talked. What that might have been he had no idea but he intended to find out.

"Hello."

"Ana, it's Jethro. Hi."

"Well hello stranger. We haven't talked in ages. How are you?"

"Fine. That's one reason I'm calling; because it's been so long and I wonder why. Is something wrong?"

"Goodness no, Jethro. I have been swamped at the clinic and I'm still sorting out mother's estate. Plus working weekends at the hospital. I simply have not had a spare minute."

"I thought you'd stopped working at the ER."

"Well, I missed it. That's the work I really love so when they call I go. How are you and Matthew?"

"Fine. Mattie had his tonsils out a couple of days ago so he's eating lots of ice cream and popsicles. He loves it."

"Oh my I didn't know he'd been sick but I guess that's because I haven't kept in touch. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I haven't called either. Like you I'm busy at work and at night I don't have much time of myself. Mattie is definitely trying to live up to the terrible twos these days."

"Oh no, not that sweet boy! Tell me what he's doing."

"Well, his favorite words are "No" and "I do it" both said with lots of volume and determination. Reminds me more and more of his mother. He's really just being a boy; running Noemi ragged in the daytime and me at night. He's very busy all the time. And we haven't been outside much lately because of the weather and him not feeling too good so that doesn't help. He's an outdoor person for sure."

"Sounds like he's doing all the things he should be doing at that age. I bet he's still a sweet boy isn't he?"

"Yes he is. I missed a lot of this age with Kelly so I have to remind myself it's normal and like you said, just what he should be doing. Really he's a lot of fun and I wouldn't trade any of it."

"You sound tired Jethro."

"Stayed overnight at the hospital last night so I didn't get much sleep. Do you have time to talk or are you busy?"

"I have time. What's on your mind?"

"Us. I mean….is there an "us" really? I'm not sure how this should be going or if I'm doing ….hell I don't know I just need to talk to you I guess."

"Jethro, there is an "us" as you say at least I hope so. You are not supposed to be doing anything in particular I don't think. I have to say this is new territory for me too. Perhaps we need to talk more or at least when we talk perhaps we need to talk more seriously about us. I don't have answers really."

"Ana I want there to be an us but honestly I don't know how to make that happen. We do need to talk more and coming from me that sounds strange even to me. Not being a talker I mean. There is something I need to say and maybe talk about."

"Then I want to hear it. You know, or you should that you can tell me anything Jethro. Say anything to me and I'll not take offense. Well, almost anything."

There was a long pause while Jethro gathered his courage. He couldn't tell you why he felt he needed to start this but he knew he was tired of wondering about Ana. Tired of trying to figure out how to move on. Tired of doing it all by himself. Finally, he took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

"I need you to understand how much I still miss Jenny. And that I probably will for a long time. And how much I want you and I to work."

Ana heard the emotion in his voice even from across the country. This was the first really serious conversation they'd had in a long time and Ana was glad Jethro was opening up to her again. His voice reminded her how he used to talk to her when they first met. How much pain he was in back then and she realized he was still in a lot of pain now. She should have known that but somehow Jethro had convinced her he was fine. But how could he be fine? Not really. Not yet.

"Jethro, I can't say I understand the depth of your feelings about Jenny because I've never experienced such a loss but I do understand that you would miss her. It hasn't been that long and she was a very important part of you so of course you still miss her. I'd be worried if you didn't."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Heavens no. I'm not the least bit threatened or worried about us because you miss your late wife. What bothers me is the pain it causes you. I hate knowing you are hurting and I can't make it better. I want to hold you right now so much it makes my heart ache."

"God, that would be so nice. I wish you were here. Promise you'll come this summer. Or sooner. Please."

"I promise. I'll be there and we'll go sailing and you can show me all the sights."

"Ana, I'm not going to need that year you promised to wait."

"Really?"

"Really. That okay with you?"

"Very okay. I like the sound of that very much."

Just then Matthew started crying.

"Hey, I gotta go see about Mattie. He's awake and crying."

"Kiss him for me and I'll call you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye."

Ana did call the next day and every day after that for two weeks. They had long talks about themselves, what they wanted for the future and what they'd been through already. Jethro talked a lot about Jenny which gave him comfort that he doubted Ana could understand. It meant so much to him that she was willing to listen to him go on about Jenny. Even though he had friends who had known Jenny he didn't feel comfortable talking to them about her. Except Ducky of course. Knowing Ana wasn't threatened by his memories helped Jethro accept the idea of including Ana in his future.

All through April the two of them talked regularly several times a week. They were getting to know each other over the long distance phone connection but it was better than nothing. One thing they never seemed to talk about was the geographic distance between them and how that might be dealt with in the future. Jethro knew he was not moving to Baja or even to San Diego. He had too much of a support system in DC and too much history there to ever leave. He wondered if Ana would be willing to relocate. Mike seemed to think so of course but Jethro hadn't brought it up and didn't intend to over the phone.

Ana continued to encourage Jethro to talk about Jenny and always made sure to let him know it didn't bother her when he did. Jethro found he could tell Ana pretty much anything and she seemed to take it all in stride. He found himself looking forward to their calls and missing her voice when for some reason they didn't talk for several days. He was starting to rely on her and that surprised him.

So far only Ducky among Jethro's NCIS family knew about Ana. Jethro kept him apprised of how things were progressing and how he was feeling about their chances. He hadn't given much thought to how to introduce Ana or the subject of Ana to the rest of the group but as it turned out Mattie took care of that for him.

One Sunday afternoon in late April, Ducky was hosting everyone in celebration of Tim and Delilah's engagement and Tim's birthday. It was a lovely spring day and the group sat outside in Ducky's backyard for drinks and snacks while Matthew chased Tony around the yard. Of course Mattie loved being the center of attention and since the group hadn't seen him in a while they were all excited to note how he'd grown and changed.

After they'd eaten, Ducky brought in a cake complete with candles and everyone sang Happy Birthday. That's when Mattie completely surprised his father with his memory and information Jethro had no idea he had.

While Tim was cutting the cake Abby asked Mattie who was sitting on her lap, if he'd had a birthday cake on his birthday.

"Yes. Chocolate."

"Wow, so did daddy or Grandpa Mike bake you a cake?"

"No, Ana did it."

All eyes turned to Jethro who looked at his son in surprise.

"I'm surprised you remember that Mattie. It was a long time ago."

Abby, intrigued as to who exactly Ana was, asked, "Did you get presents too?"

"A truck. And a bucket and a shovel. Ana gave it to me for the beach."

"Wow, Ana sounds nice."

Again, all eyes were on Jethro who made no attempt to stop this line of inquiry. He was curious as to how much Mattie would say about Ana.

"She's nice. We played in the water and she read me stories."

"I think Ana must really like you, Mattie."

"She does. She likes daddy too. She kissed daddy."

Now everything stopped. Cake that was halfway to several mouths stopped in mid air as everyone was riveted on Jethro and what he would say about that bombshell.

Abby was not too surprised to ask, "She did? I wonder if daddy likes Ana."

"He does. He kissed her too."

Finally Jethro came to his senses and said, "Matthew how about you eat your cake and let daddy talk."

"Okay daddy."

"Yes, daddy do tell." Abby was grinning from ear to ear and the rest of the group was equally pleased.

"Ana is a doctor in the town where Mike lives. We met when I was down there before Mattie was born. She's a friend. More than a friend really but what more I'm not sure yet. She's important to me and someday soon I hope you can all meet her. This summer in fact."

Ducky spoke up, "I think we would all like that."

Everyone agreed and the smiles and good wishes they gave him made Jethro feel very relieved. And happy. He had no idea Matthew had seen he and Ana kissing but it didn't bother him. He was impressed with his son's memory.

Abby cornered Jethro in the kitchen later.

"I'm happy for you Gibbs. Can you tell me about Ana?"

"Like I said she's a doctor there. She's beautiful and smart and very patient and understanding. She likes Mattie a lot. She gets me and she's a good listener. I like her. I like her a lot."

"So you knew her when Jenny was still alive?"

"Yes, she pushed for me to come home and was very supportive of me trying to fix my marriage. She wasn't any part of my being away if that's what you're worrying about."

Abby knew she'd struck a nerve. "I didn't mean to imply that. I'm happy for you Gibbs. You deserve to be happy and I know Jenny would want that for you. If she makes you happy and she's good to Mattie that's what matters."

"Abby, do you think it's too soon?"

"No. No, I don't. There can't be a timetable you have to follow. You have to follow only your heart and in your case your gut. If your gut says it's okay then it is. Trust yourself Gibbs. We're all here for you and we all love you but that isn't enough we know that."

"Thanks Abby. My boy's got quite the memory huh?"

"I'll say. And apparently he's very observant! You better remember that."

"No kidding."

Jethro called Ana that night and told her about Mattie outing them to the group. She laughed and said she was very proud of Mattie for remembering that far back. She could hear the relief in Jethro's voice when he told her how everyone had reacted and what Abby had said. She understood how important those people were to Jethro and how much he wanted everyone's acceptance of their budding relationship. Ana felt more confident with each passing week that she and Jethro actually had a future to look forward to together.

Since Jethro had started working for Mark, the business was growing and with Ziva's international connections they were getting new clients every month. Mark visited DC in early May and told Jethro he wanted him to take over running the DC operation completely. He explained his wife wanted him to cut back and since Jethro was already doing the work he might as well get paid for it. So, there was a nice raise and Jethro was given the go ahead to hire two more agents. Ziva recommended a former colleague from Mossad and Jethro was happy to hire him. Then he found a young woman just out of the Navy who was a perfect fit. Jethro spent less time in the field which he wasn't sure he'd like at first but after just a few weeks he found it wasn't so bad. He still went out on the more complex assignments and that was enough to keep him satisfied.

With spring in full bloom and the weather improving every week, Jethro and Mattie began spending more and more time outside. The swing set and sand box Jethro had built were finally being used to their full potential. Life was good for Jethro and his son. At Ana's insistence Jethro had purchased an I-Pad and Abby taught him how to face time with Ana. Now they not only talked on the phone but they could actually see each other. And, Ana could see Mattie and vice versa. Jethro thought it was important for Mattie to get used to Ana if she was going to be part of their lives which he hoped was the case. Mostly though Jethro liked being able to see Ana when he was talking to her. He missed the physical aspects of a relationship so if could at least see Ana it was better than just talking on the phone. One night after they had talked for almost an hour Jethro laid in bed and admitted to himself that whenever he saw Ana's face on that small screen his heart sped up and he immediately felt better. He fell asleep that night thinking about being with Ana instead of missing Jenny. That was a first.

A couple of weeks after that call Jethro broached the subject of Ana visiting. They hadn't talked about it in a while and he was beginning to think maybe she wasn't coming.

"What about you coming out for a visit? Summer's almost here you know."

"I do know and I've been waiting for Eric to tell me when he's available to cover the clinic. How does June twenty-fifth sound to you?"

"Sounds like a long way away but I'll sure take it. How long can you stay?"

"Two weeks if that's not too long."

"It's not too long. Great that means you'll be here for the Fourth of July. I'm already excited to see you. I'm going to send you the money for the tickets and I don't want to hear any argument okay?"

"Alright. No argument. Can we go watch the fireworks in DC? I hear they are really spectacular; at least they look like it on television."

"You bet we will. It is fantastic. Ana, I'm really glad you're coming. Mattie and I will be very happy to see you in person."

"I'm excited too. Now, tell me about your week and what your little one has been up to."

The next few weeks seemed to crawl by but Jethro stayed busy at work and on the weekends he and Mattie went sailing or worked and played in the yard. Jethro told Noemi about Ana coming to visit and was happy to hear approval in her voice when they talked about it. Noemi would be gone the last few days of Ana's visit as she already had plans to visit family in Colombia but she would be there to meet her and spend some time with the three of them. Jethro was anxious to get Noemi's take on the situation and was very hopeful of getting her approval when all was said and done. When Noemi asked if Jethro planned to do anything to get the third bedroom ready he wasn't sure what to say.

"I hadn't thought about it."

"Okay, not my business but maybe you should give Miss Ana the option."

"Yeah, you're right. What does the room need? I never go in there."

"The bed is terrible. She might not use it but if she did it would be sad. You need a new mattress. And a chair would be nice. And a lamp."

"Geez, she's not moving in for good."

Noemi smiled at him and wagged her finger at him like he was twelve years old.

"You want to make good impression, no? Of course you do. You give me the credit card and I will take care of everything."

Jethro narrowed his eyes at her but she just smiled back. Noemi had Jethro wound very tightly around her finger and they both knew it. He trusted her implicitly; after all she took care of Matthew who was the most important person in Jethro's world. He handed her the credit card and then drew her into a hug.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You will not have to find out for a long time."

"Noemi, are you okay with me having Ana here? I mean, having her in my life. I care for her very much and it's important to me that you are alright with this."

"You know I loved our Jenny since she was a young girl. And I love you, Jethro. I want you to be happy and I see you are not happy for a long time. Now, with Ana coming you are happy again. Maybe not all the way happy but better. If she is good to you and Matthew that is all I need to know. It was very important to Jenny that you find someone to love and if that is Ana then it will be good. But, if she hurts you, it will be bad for her. Very bad."

Jethro blinked away tears at Noemi's words.

"Thank you Noemi. It's good to know you've got my back."

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

AN: This chapter is a long one but I just didn't see a place to break it up. I'm sure you won't mind!

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 19

Jethro called Ana on Memorial Day before he and Mattie left to go to Ducky's for the afternoon. When she didn't answer he wasn't worried; she was a busy woman after all. He knew she wasn't working in San Diego that weekend because she'd said she was going to spend the day with Mike. He thought about calling there but Mattie interrupted him by rolling one of his trucks down the front stairs. The truck obviously didn't actually roll down and the noise was terrible as it crashed its way down with Mattie chasing after it gleefully.

"Matthew what are you doing?"

"Playing trucks."

Mattie looked at his father as if he was someone entirely new to him.

"Well, don't play on the stairs. Trucks belong on the floor not the stairs. Got it?"

"Got it."

"You need to get some clothes on so we can go to Ducky's house."

"Okay daddy."

Jethro followed his son up the stairs and into his room. By the time they got there Mattie had forgotten what he was going up there for and sat down on the floor to play with some blocks. Jethro got out some shorts and a tee shirt and sat down to help Mattie get dressed.

As he tried to put his son's shirt on him he got the familiar, "No, I do it".

"Okay then do it so we can go."

Mattie eventually let his dad help him when he got his arm stuck. Mattie pulled on his shorts by himself but had to have help getting them up over his pull-up. He put his sandals on all by himself and was very proud. Then he went back to the blocks. Jethro decided he wasn't in any hurry after all and sat with him while they built some towers and a house and a fence to keep the cows in. Mattie kept up a running commentary on what they were doing and Jethro answered as required. He loved listening to Mattie talk because it reminded him of Jenny; always talking. Finally, Matthew knocked down the last tower and was ready to go. Jethro laid back on the floor and pretended to be asleep. Mattie climbed on his legs and laid down on top of him. Then he sat up and began patting his daddy on the chest.

"Wake up daddy. We go to Ducky house."

"Let's stay home and take a nap, Mattie."

"No nap! Go to Ducky house."

Mattie wasn't happy about the nap idea and of course he had no idea his daddy was teasing him. Jethro reached up slowly and tickled Mattie who screeched in surprise and fell on his daddy laughing. Once again Jethro thought of Jenny because she had been so ticklish. It had taken almost nothing for him to get her squirming and begging him to stop. As soon as Mattie said stop Jethro did. Then he sat up holding Mattie very close and kissed him on the head.

"I love you Matthew. Don't you ever forget that."

"Okay. I love you daddy. Go to Ducky house."

"Okay, okay let's go."

In her little apartment a thousand miles away Ana sat looking at the phone when Jethro called earlier. While he was playing with Mattie on the floor Ana was curled up in a chair wiping tears away. She'd wanted to answer the phone but all the confidence and happiness she'd been feeling about her and Jethro was slipping away and she was afraid to talk to him just then. Ana had done something the previous night that she'd been avoiding for a very long time.

She'd told herself to leave it alone but in the end she just couldn't. She'd Googled Jenny Shepard and spent a couple of hours reading about Jethro's late wife on the internet. She'd seen her picture, several of them in fact. Pictures of her and Jethro all dressed up at some important Washington event. She read about Jenny's career, her success as an agent and her unprecedented success as the first woman to head an armed Federal agency. She'd read about her family and seen pictures of the townhouse in Georgetown. There were lots of articles about Jethro and her in different papers and stories about her testifying to one committee or another in Congress. Lots and lots of important people saying impressive and complimentary things about her and her career. She had never seen Jethro in anything but shorts or jeans. Now she'd seen him, or pictures of him at least, in a tuxedo and several very nice suits. He was strikingly handsome in each and every photo. And Jenny equally beautiful in all manner of evening gowns, suits and beautiful dresses.

Ana felt like a very plain, small town girl who certainly didn't belong in that crowd. That's when the insecurity started to eat at her. She told herself she knew Jethro only from him either being on vacation or having left that life more or less against his will. That life in DC; that was the life he really belonged to, not life on the beach in a small town in Baja. He belonged with people who got dressed up and who went to important parties and meetings and knew congressmen and did important work. Ana didn't fit into any of that and she didn't want to. She simply wanted to love a man who loved her and make a home with him and their children. She loved her work and knew she was a good doctor but she didn't see herself fitting into what she had now seen was Jethro's life in Washington. How she was going to tell him that and how she was going to accept what it meant was a mystery but that's what she believed she would have to do.

Going out to Mike's was about the last thing Ana wanted to do that morning but she'd promised and maybe he could tell her something that would make her feel better. The problem was Mike loved Jethro and Ana ending her relationship with Jethro was going to be a problem for Mike. The idea of doing that didn't even sound right to Ana's ear. She told herself she was overreacting and that what she really needed was to talk to Jethro, tell him her feelings and let him help her work through everything. Ana wished her mother was there; she always knew what to say and she was her daughter's biggest supporter. If anyone could have encouraged Ana about the situation it would have been her mother. Ana doubted Mike would be able to fill that role.

Jethro had been at Ducky's for about an hour when he went out to the front porch to call Ana again. He got the voice mail again but this time he left a message. _"Hey beautiful, sorry I keep missing you. Call me please. I miss you. Tell Mike I said hello. Call me."_

Ana saw the caller ID but didn't answer. She was on her way to Mike's place and when she got there she listened to the message. She could very easily have called Jethro back but she didn't. She was confused about her feelings now and even though she knew in her head it was stupid, she just didn't want to talk to Jethro until she had her thoughts straightened out.

Mike was on the porch when Ana walked up. He knew immediately something was wrong. Normally Ana was a happy, energetic person with a lovely smile and eyes that sparkled with life. That was how she had looked for the last several months and Mike knew Jethro was at least part of the reason for that happy countenance. Now he somehow knew Jethro was the reason for the less than happy face that was sitting on his porch.

"Okay, tell me what's he'd done."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ana, I can tell by looking at you that something is very wrong in your world. Sorry to say, the only person who can put you in such a sad place is Leroy Jethro Gibbs. What did he do? Or not do?"

"Jethro hasn't done anything. It's me. Mike, tell me about Jenny."

The change in direction of the conversation took Mike by surprise. He and Ana had never talked about Jenny and he had no idea what she wanted to know.

"Whatta ya mean?"

"I mean what kind of person was she. Just tell me about her."

"Ana what's goin' on?"

Ana took a deep breath and then a long drink of her beer. She looked out at the water and pictured Jethro there on the beach, holding her and kissing her senseless.

"If I'm going to be in Jethro's life I need to know whose shoes I'm stepping into. I need to know about Jenny."

Mike sensed that he needed to be very careful what he said. Somehow this could end badly for Jethro and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Funny you'd bring up shoes. Jenny almost always had on those really skinny, high heels. Never could understand how she could move so quick in them things. I have to say, they looked good on her. Jenny was a very good agent in her time. Smart, careful, quick to act when the circumstances called for it. She was gutsy and good with a gun. I reckon she got most of that from Jethro. He taught her everything she knew about bein' an agent."

"How about when she was the Director?"

"Well, I was already retired by then. She worked her way up; always wanted to be more than an agent I guess. That's all Jethro ever wanted. He hated the politics that Jenny dealt with but she loved it."

"Did you like her?"

"Not really. At least not at first. She walked out on Jethro after they'd been in Europe together for two years. She was building a career and didn't think she'd get where she wanted to be if she stayed with him. Figured out she'd made a mistake and they worked it out obviously but he was hurt pretty bad at the time. Jethro would have done anything in the world for that woman and she felt the same way about him. Now, I've answered all your questions so you need to answer one for me. What's all this about, Ana?"

"I read a lot of stuff about Jenny and Jethro on the internet last night. Honestly, Mike I don't think I'm the right person for Jethro. I don't belong in the life Jethro has in DC."

"Whoa! I don't know what you read but you are exactly what Jethro needs. What kind of life do you think he has in DC anyway?"

"I saw all the stories about important people they went to functions with. I saw what a beautiful woman Jenny was and all the powerful people they dealt with. I can't see myself in that kind of life, Mike."

"Well that's good because that's not the kind of life Jethro leads anyway. That was all Jenny and her job. Jethro wants to be at home with his son and not out at fancy dinners and such. He went to those things because Jenny had to go and he was her husband. And her protection detail most of the time. You're worryin' about stuff that you don't need to even think about."

"But don't you see, that is the kind of woman Jethro loved. That's who he lived with and who he adored. I'm not that kind of woman. I think he's going to realize that eventually. We met at a hard time for Jethro and I think maybe when we're in real life and he's not on vacation or hiding out, things will be so different and he'll realize I'm not who he should be with."

"I don't know what to say to you Ana except you're wrong. You are so wrong I can't even describe it for you. Jethro fell in love with Jenny when she was a raw NCIS agent who barely knew one end of a gun from another. She wasn't wearing elegant dresses and spikey high heels back then. Sure, she matured and became the director after a lot of hard work and some pretty scary stuff but that's not who he loved first. You need to give yourself some credit and give Jethro credit for knowing what he's doing."

"Maybe I'm being silly but Mike, I have a bad feeling about Jethro and I. Maybe I'm getting scared or something but it just doesn't feel right for me now."

"Have you told Jethro how you're feelin'?"

"No, I haven't. I need to figure things out before I talk to him. I know; I'm being a coward."

"No, you're bein' a woman in love who hasn't seen her man in a long time and who hasn't been told she's loved yet. But you will be I can almost guarantee that. Jethro cares for you, Ana. Very much if I'm any judge. Don't give up on this. You'll regret it if you do I can guarantee that too."

Just then Ana's phone rang and it was her answering service. She listened for a few moments then put the phone away and stood up.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. Some kids had a motorbike wreck. Thanks for listening Mike. I'll be in San Diego for a couple of days closing on the sale of my mom's house. I should be back on Wednesday and I'll check on you. Please don't tell Jethro what I said."

"Okay. You be careful and don't make any decisions without talking to Jethro."

"I won't. Bye and thanks again."

Mike had another beer and then a walk on the beach while he thought about what to tell Jethro. He obviously had to warn him that Ana was having second thoughts but he did want to honor his word that he wouldn't tell Jethro what she'd said. He could do that and still let his friend know something was up. The problem was Ana wasn't going to answer her phone which meant Jethro was at serious disadvantage in terms of fixing the problem. Well, Mike reasoned, Jethro will just have to get his butt out here and fix things in person. That's when Mike knew what he had to do. Five minutes later he was on the phone with Jethro.

"Hey, Mike what's goin' on down there?"

"Listen to me Probie you got a problem that needs fixin'."

"What are you talking about? Is Ana there? I've been calling her all day and she's not answering. I thought she was going to spend the day with you."

"Jethro, shut up and listen! Ana was here but she had to go take care of some kids in a motorbike wreck. Here's what I'm callin' about; Ana is having second thoughts about the two of you."

"What? Second thoughts? What the hell does that mean?"

Jethro had answered his phone in the kitchen with Ducky and Abby present and now he stepped outside to continue. Ducky and Abby exchanged worried looks. If this thing with Ana went bad neither of them wanted to think about how that would affect Jethro. It certainly wouldn't be good they both knew that for sure.

"Let me finish will ya? I told her I wouldn't tell you what she said so I'm not going to but here's the deal. She got on the internet last night and read up on you and Jenny. I figure she's got some nerves and she's afraid she don't measure up to Jenny. You need to fix this and the only way you can do that is in person. She'll be in San Diego for a couple of days starting tomorrow. I suggest you get your butt on a plane and get out here."

"She read about us on the internet?"

"That's not really the point of the story, Probie."

"Okay, I know. If I can get there and that's a pretty big if, where will she be?"

"She's goin' to close on the sale of her mother's house on Tuesday. I have that address but I'll find out exactly where she's stayin' Monday night. You get there and I'll find out where she is. Can you do it?"

"Of course if that's what you think has to happen. This can't be done over the phone?"

"She won't answer her phone for you right now. She says she needs some time to figure things out. Probie, I know this is sort of a déjà vu thing for you but you can turn this around I'm pretty sure."

"Damn. Okay, thanks for the heads up. I'll be in touch. She's going to San Diego tomorrow?"

"Far as I know driving up there tomorrow morning. Said she'd be back here on Wednesday so you have Monday night and Tuesday to get this done."

"Okay. I'll work it out."

"Be quick about it. Don't let her stew in this for long, Jethro."

"I'll be there tomorrow. Thanks. I'll call you when I know something."

Jethro disconnected the call and stood very still in the yard staring out into the evening. _What the hell is going on? What in the world did she read on the internet that scared her off?_ The idea of Ana walking away from him was like a punch to the gut. He was so shocked he could hardly accept what Mike was telling him but he knew it was true; Mike didn't panic and he didn't exaggerate. He would have to get to San Diego tonight or tomorrow and see Ana and fix whatever was wrong.

Ducky stepped outside and approached Jethro.

"Is everything alright?"

"Mike said Ana's having second thoughts about us. She read some stuff on the internet last night about me and Jenny and now she doesn't think we can work I guess."

"Oh dear. What did Mike suggest?"

"He said I need to go out there and see her and change her mind."

"And?"

"And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

The two men went inside and Jethro gave the group a quick summary of the situation. He ended by telling Ziva he would be gone Monday and maybe Tuesday.

"Jethro, we have an appointment Wednesday morning with a new client who is insistent that you be there, remember?"

"Aaargh! Yeah I remember. We've already rescheduled it twice so we have to do it this time. Okay, well I'll go out tomorrow morning and come back that night. That's doable."

While Jethro and Ziva were talking, McGee pulled out his tablet and began checking flight times.

"Boss, doesn't look good getting you out there and back same day. Gonna cost an arm and leg for sure if we can do it."

Everyone ignored the fact that Tim still referred to Jethro as "Boss". So did Tony half the time. Now it was Tony's turn to speak up.

"Doesn't the SecNav owe you a favor or two? Maybe he can get you on a flight to Miramar."

"Can't say he owes me any favors but he just might do me one."

With that said Jethro walked back to the kitchen to call the Secretary of the Navy. They were old friends and still talked a couple of times a month. Jethro had Secretary Burke's private number and he called him hoping for some luck.

"Paul Burke."

"Paul, it's Jethro. Sorry to bother you on a holiday."

"No problem. Michelle and I are just waiting for the kids to get back for burgers. Is anything wrong?"

"Sort of. Long story short I need to be in San Diego Tuesday for just a couple of hours or so. Any chance you have something going that way I can hop on? And something coming back that night?"

"Naturally I have no idea. I can sure make a call though and find out. I assume this is important?"

"Very. Paul it's personal though so if I'm putting you in a bad spot just say the word. I'll understand."

"Got something to do with your doctor friend?"

Jethro chuckled. Nothing ever got past Paul Burke and he had a memory like an elephant.

"Matter of fact it does. Mike says maybe she's about to give up on me. I'm tryin' to keep that from happening."

"Dammit that is an emergency although I'd say maybe she's just coming to her senses. I can make it happen. Someone will call you, Gunny. Good luck."

"Thanks, Paul. I really appreciate this."

"Don't mention it. To anyone."

"Roger that."

There was nothing else Jethro could do until someone called him back with the flight information so he went back to the gathering in the living room. Mattie was sitting on Ducky's lap looking a book and everyone else was visiting and finishing the dessert Ducky had provided.

"Well, what'd he say?"

"He'll make it happen. Someone will call me later."

That night Jethro let Mattie play a long time in the bathtub while he sat on the floor and tried not to think about Ana giving up on them. Abby had told him to Google Jenny and see what Ana had been reading and he intended to do that when Mattie was asleep. For the last few weeks Jethro had been imagining Ana in their lives; helping with Mattie, reading to him, hanging out in the basement with them. To think all that might never happen was too hard. He couldn't say yet that he loved Ana but he thought maybe he would some day. Would 'some day' be too late?

Jethro had a morning flight out of Andrews AFB on Tuesday morning so Noemi was there at the crack of dawn. Mattie was still sound asleep when Jethro left. Noemi would stay until Jethro got home late that night. Jethro had sent Mike his flight information on Monday night after a very helpful Marine officer had called him. Mike responded saying he'd send Jethro an address as soon as he had one. He was planning to talk to Eric who was once again manning the clinic in Ana's absence. According to Carmelita who seemed to know these things, Ana stayed at Eric's apartment when she was in San Diego and he was at the clinic.

Sure enough when Jethro landed he had a text from Mike with Eric's address. Mike had also called Ana saying he was just checking on her and she had told him her appointment was at one o'clock. Mike figured she'd probably leave the apartment by twelve thirty which gave Jethro about two hours to get there and make his pitch. Jethro knew if he couldn't say what he needed to say in that length of time it wouldn't matter anyway.

Secretary Burke had arranged for a driver for Jethro so as soon as he deplaned he was in a car and headed off base. He gave the driver the address and sat back trying to relax. He'd been rehearsing his speech all the way across the county. Now he just hoped he'd get to deliver it. If Ana had gone out shopping before her appointment or met friends for breakfast he was screwed. No, he told himself, I can't think like that. She'll be there. The young Marine driving knew exactly where he was going and within twenty minutes they were pulling in the apartment complex. Jethro saw Ana's old car and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Private, if I'm not back in five minutes you can go. I'll get a cab back to base in time for my return. I appreciate your assistance."

"My pleasure sir. You sure you don't want me to wait? My orders were to get you where you wanted to go and then back. I can easily park and wait for you no problem."

Jethro considered that. He was pretty sure the young man wouldn't mind sitting in the car for an hour or so. Might be the easiest duty he pulled all month.

"If you're sure, Private that would be fine. I shouldn't be more than an hour or so. If you have something else you need to do go ahead. I'll be ready to go back at noon."

"I'll be here sir."

"Thank you Private."

Jethro approached the door to apartment A7 and knocked. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath. He hoped with all his heart this was going to be a happy surprise for Ana. He heard footsteps then sensed someone at the door. He was sure she was looking out the peephole so he looked right at it and smiled. There was a pause that Jethro thought was much too long before the door opened and Ana was standing there with surprise written on her face.

"Jethro, what are doing here?"

"Hi. I hope it's okay."

Jethro turned and waved at his driver who backed out and drove away. The young Private had a big grin on his face. When Jethro turned back around Ana reached for him and he pulled her into a hug.

With her face buried in his chest, Ana mumbled, "Mike called you." It wasn't a question.

"He did. Don't be mad. He's worried about us and he thought I needed to come see you and talk about things. Is it okay?"

Jethro let go of her and followed her into the house.

"I'm not mad, of course. I'm surprised and happy to see you. How did you get here so fast and how did you find me?"

"I caught a ride with the Navy and Mike tracked you down."

"Of course. That makes perfect sense."

"Please say it's okay that I'm here."

"Yes, it's okay. Very much. Come on in the kitchen. You want coffee? Of course you do."

She led him into the small kitchen and poured them each a cup of coffee. When she turned around Jethro was right there. He took the cups from her and put them back on the counter.

"May I kiss you first?"

"Yes."

So that's what he did. He traced her lips with his fingertips then slowly tunneled his fingers into her hair and leaned into her. He brushed her lips with his then settled in and kissed her two quick, soft kisses before he pressed closer and took the kiss to a new level. When she opened her mouth to him he quite literally took her breath away. He tasted her over and over again until neither of them had any breath left and he had to back off.

Jethro didn't stop though. He kissed all along her jawline and his hands were under her shirt stroking the soft, warm skin of her back and sides. Once she'd had time to catch her breath he was back for more. Ana was pulling at him, trying to get him closer but he couldn't be any closer. After a while they both eased back and Ana laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his chest. Jethro held onto her and decided then and there he wasn't ever going to let her go.

"I know you have a meeting to get to and I have to go back to DC this afternoon but we have to talk."

"Oh dear that sounds ominous. Well, come sit in the living room."

They went to the living room and settled on the couch. Ana held onto his hand. It was solid and warm and she wanted to hold it always.

"Okay, I know I need to let you talk but I've been practicing my speech all the way across the country this morning so can I go first?"

Ana smiled at him and he felt a little less nervous.

"Yes, you may go first."

"Ana, you know the six months or so that I spent away from home were some of the worst of my life. There is a lot about that time I regret and a lot I don't ever think about anymore. But the months I spent at Mike's; the time I spent with you, that was a good time for me. Meeting you was a blessing in so many ways. Then and now. You are not a replacement for Jenny. No one will be. Just like she wasn't a replacement for Shannon. I've come to realize over the last couple of months how important you are to me. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want that either but…."

"Can you tell me what's scaring you or bothering you or whatever?"

"It's stupid."

"Not if it scares you. Not if it could take you away from me."

The emotion in his voice and the look on his face said he was very afraid of losing her. That meant more to Ana than anything he could say. She felt silly now about all her fears but she owed it to Jethro to tell him what she'd said to Mike. She told him the whole story starting with the internet searches and ending with her visit to Mike.

"I just saw a side of you that I'd never considered and I couldn't see myself fitting in there. It scared me. I'm nothing like Jenny and I know how much you loved her. How could you ever love someone like me when you'd had someone like Jenny? That's what scared me and that's what I can't change."

"I don't live the life you read about anymore. I did all that because Jenny had to and I was her husband. I hated every minute of every one of those fancy parties and all those events where she had to make an appearance. Yes, I still have a tux but if I never put it on again that's fine by me. I know you're not Jenny and I don't expect you to be. You are beautiful and strong, clever and fun, and patient and you get me. You are every bit as wonderful a woman in your own right as Jenny was.

Let me tell you something else. Jenny was nothing at all like Shannon. Shannon was a quiet, calm person whose ambition was to be a wife and mother and raise her children to be good people. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and she was a damn good one. She and I met when we were nineteen and we more or less grew up together. Jenny was the polar opposite of Shannon. I loved them both very much."

"But you don't love me, Jethro."

"Then why am I here? Why did I come all the way across the country at the crack of dawn?"

"Maybe because Mike told you to? I'm not saying you don't care Jethro, I'm just saying you're not in love with me. I know that. I understand that, I really do."

"But, I don't want you to give up on me. You promised me a year. My time's not up."

There was a lot of emotion in his voice and a pleading look in his eyes that Ana could not ignore.

"I'm not giving up on you. You know, I had promised myself I would not look on the internet to find you and Jenny but last week I just couldn't stop myself. I tell my patients all the time not to look up their symptoms on the internet because it will only scare them. I should have taken my own advice."

"I would have told you anything you wanted to know."

"I know you would. I needed to see for myself. I don't expect you to understand, Jethro. I'm not sure I even understand myself. I know I've told you I don't feel threatened by Jenny but apparently a part of me still feels like I'm competing with her. That sounds horrible and unkind and I'm sorry I said it out loud."

Ana got up and walked away from him. She suddenly felt almost sick. She wanted to cry and she wanted Jethro to go. Instead he went to her and wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He didn't say anything for a long time, he just held her and tried to think of what to say to make her feel better.

Still holding her Jethro said, "I don't know what to say to help you. I don't know how to make you understand that I care for you Ana. Probably more than you realize. I can't talk to anyone else about Jenny the way I can with you. Maybe that's not fair to you. Maybe I need to stop doing that. But for sure you are not competing with Jenny. I don't see you like that at all. I see a beautiful woman who somehow got me to talk when I didn't want to. A woman who cared for me when I was a total mess and not very nice to be around. Ana, you are the person who has helped me more in the last year than anyone. I don't want to lose you. I want us to keep working on us. I know I'm taking advantage of your love but will you please let me do that for a while longer?"

Ana put her hands on his chest and stepped back. She didn't want to end whatever she and Jethro were doing. She wanted him to love her and most of the time she believed he would if she gave him enough time. Sometimes though she feared investing herself in him only to have him decide he didn't want to be with her. That was what she had been feeling for the past several days. Now here he was out of the blue, jetting across the country to plead his case for more time. How could she deny him his request?

"You're not taking advantage of me, Jethro. And I don't want you to feel like you have to censor what you say to me about Jenny or anything else. I want us to keep talking and working on whatever this is we're doing. I don't want to lose you either. I love you."

Ana led him back to the couch and they sat down.

"Let's get back to why you're here. What did Mike tell you?"

"Just that you might be having second thoughts about us. He didn't give me any details. Said he promised you he wouldn't. Are you still having second thoughts?"

"Yes, I think I am."

"Tell me why."

"Jethro how did you get out here today? Really."

Jethro sighed and sat back. He knew where this was going; exactly where Mike had warned him it would. But, he never lied to the people in his life and he wasn't going to start now.

"I called the Secretary of the Navy who happens to be an old Marine buddy of mine and asked him if he had anyone coming to Miramar this morning. I told him I had an emergency and needed to be here and gone in the same day. He made a call and got me a ride on a Navy jet that was coming this way. Mike tracked you down through Eric. SecNav arranged a driver for me and here I am. The driver will be back at noon to take me back to the base and I'll catch a ride home this afternoon. I have a meeting in DC tomorrow I can't miss. That's it."

Ana actually gave a little laugh. The whole thing was a little too much and she felt very much out of Jethro's league.

"This is the sort of thing I'm concerned about. You're friends with the Secretary of the Navy for goodness sake. You can get a ride on a Navy jet just by making a call. Really Jethro, that's not exactly run of the mill stuff."

"Are you going to hold it against me because a friend I was in the Corps with is successful and willing to help me when I need it?"

"I'm not holding anything against you, Jethro. I just trying to wrap my head around who you really are. We met when you were more or less running away from a problem in your marriage. A marriage you desperately wanted to save and rightly so. The next time we're together you're on vacation. This is not real life we're working with here."

Now Jethro was getting frustrated. He told himself to take a breath and state his case calmly.

"I think you've seen plenty of my real life. When we met I was in middle of some pretty real stuff I think you'd agree. You've been involved with me through quite a bit of pretty real stuff the last two years or so. Yes, I know some powerful and important people. But Ana, they're just people. They have the same problems and worries we do. I work and go home and take care of my son. Yes, I have a nanny for him but so do lots of people. You're a doctor for god's sake. You're intelligent and dedicated and more than capable of fitting into any life I fit into."

"Do your friends know about me?"

"Of course they do. Mattie told them remember. And, I've told them you're coming for a visit and they're all anxious to meet you. They are all just regular, hard working, fun people and they will welcome you into the group. Ana, you have nothing to fear from me or my friends or my lifestyle."

"Have you ever looked Jenny up on the internet?"

"Not until last night. I already knew all that so why would I but I did after Mike called because I wanted to see what you'd seen."

"What I saw was a very stunning woman who was very accomplished and who would intimidate most women. I saw you were married to a powerful and influential woman with whom I don't compare very favorably."

"That's nonsense. I've told you I don't compare you to Jenny. Yes she was all those things and yes I loved her. If that's going to be a problem for you then I guess we do have a problem. The thing is, Jenny's gone. I have worked very hard in the last year to get used to that and get through it. I thought you understood that was what I was doing and you were helping me. Jenny wasn't perfect Ana. She had a temper and sometimes I wanted to throttle her myself. She was so stubborn it drove me crazy sometimes. She worked too hard and took us for granted sometimes. If she was here she would say all the same things about me and she'd be right. I don't understand why all of a sudden you're questioning yourself and what we've been building on for the last year."

"Jethro don't be angry with me. I'm just trying not to make a mistake. I don't want to hurt you or Matthew or get hurt myself."

"Ana, I understand that. I can't make a mistake either. Not with my son in the picture. But you're not a mistake. You're a wonderful woman and what I said a while ago is true. I care very much for you. I want you in my life and I want you in Matthew's life. Please don't tell me you don't want that too."

"I'm just afraid you're moving too quickly. You're still grieving. I can't be someone you turn to because you miss your wife and need comfort."

"That's not what you are to me! If that's all you meant to me we would have been in bed in Mexico two years ago! Yes, I miss Jenny but my feelings for you are real and they stand on their own. You're not just a way for me to feel better."

"Did you date other women after Shannon died before you met Jenny?"

"Yes."

"Maybe you should take some time and see who's out there. There must be lots of women in your area who would be interested in you and good for you and Matthew."

"Ana, listen to me, I can't count the number of women who have tried to give me advice on the right diaper to buy, the right clothes or food or cough medicine for my child. Everywhere I go from Target to the grocery store to park, there they are offering their advice. I don't even see them anymore. I don't want their advice or their phone number or anything else. I don't want them. I want you. It's been almost two years since Jenny died. I don't think I'm moving too fast."

"Women follow you around stores and give you advice?"

"Yeah. They don't seem to think I know what I'm doing. Sometimes I go without Mattie but usually he's with me and it just doesn't stop. Please, rescue me from all that."

Ana laughed and leaned into him and the tension seemed to lessen just a little bit. Jethro knew their time was running out and he didn't feel like he'd accomplished his mission. He didn't want to leave with Ana feeling so vulnerable and unsure about them.

"Ana, does your mom being gone and you being all alone have something to do with how you're feeling? I know it's hard to lose a parent even when we're adults."

"Yes, I'm sure it does. She always knew what to say to snap me out of whatever funk I was in. She gave great advice."

"How can I help you?"

"I don't know, Jethro. Are you sure about us? Are you sure you shouldn't take more time to heal, more time to be sure there isn't someone else out there better suited to you?"

"I'm sure. I don't want to look around. I will heal faster and better with your help I know that. But if you're not ready I won't push you."

"I think that's my line."

"Ana, I feel like there's something else going on that you're afraid to say to me. You can tell me anything you know that. Just like you told me I could tell you anything and you'd understand and help, that's what I want to do for you. What is it that's really scaring you?"

There was something and Ana was afraid to say it out loud. She knew Jethro would deny it was an issue but she didn't see how it could not be. He was rubbing his thumb back and forth on the back of her hand and studying her intently. She felt like those beautiful blue eyes could see right into her soul.

"Okay, you're right. Here it is. I'm afraid that after we're together for a while you'll compare me to Jenny, maybe not consciously but you will. There's no way you cannot after such a short time and given how much you loved her. There will come a day when you'll think, 'that's not how Jenny made the bed', or 'that's not how Jenny would do that with Matthew' or 'Jenny would never wear that'. It's inevitable and understandable but I'm afraid I won't fair too well when you compare the two of us."

Jethro started to interrupt but Ana held up her hand and stopped him.

"I need to finish. This is the hardest part and I need to say it. I worry that when you make love to me you'll be comparing us. There is simply no way to avoid that. Even in the very back of your mind you will remember how Jenny did something or how she touched you in a certain way that I don't and ….."

"Stop. How can I make you understand that I won't do that? Or if I do it will be a memory of a time that's over and gone and I'll be making new memories with you. I can't wipe out all my memories so I don't know what to say to all that. "

"I know and I understand that. And, I remember telling you not so long ago that I wasn't worried that you miss Jenny. That was true then and it's still true now. I'm just being crazy. I love you Jethro I guess I'm just worried about this going too quickly."

Jethro looked at his watch and saw their time would soon be over.

"We've both got to go in a little while. I came out here because I want you in my life and I'm not going to give you up without a fight. I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again. Please tell me you won't give up on me and that you're still coming to DC in June."

"Are you sure…."

"Yes, I'm sure. I want you to come. I want you to see the life we could have together. I know we've never talked about the distance between us and we need to do that but I'm saying right now I want you in my life. I know you love me. I think you probably love Mattie."

"Yes, I do love you both and I'll be there in June."

It was almost noon. Jethro stood up and pulled Ana with him. He wrapped her in his arms and held on for dear life. He kissed her over and over again.

"For a guy who doesn't like to talk much you did a pretty good job today."

"I'm desperate and I had a long time to work it all out in my head. I won't lose you Ana. I know it has to be right for you and I think it can be. Promise me you'll think about what I've said today and give us a chance."

"I will I promise. You sure you have to go back today?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid so. If I'm not there tomorrow Ziva will be very unhappy with me and that's not something I'm willing to risk."

"Okay. Thank you for coming all the way out here Jethro. I means the world to me that you cared enough to go to all that trouble. I will think about everything you said and I promise I won't give up on us. I'll be there in June. I love you, Jethro. You need to promise me you'll think about what I've said too. I want you to be sure. Don't be in a hurry."

"I promise. I'll see you in about three weeks."

More kisses and more hugs and then another mind blowing, breath stealing kiss and then Jethro had to go. Ana kissed him once more at the door and then he was gone. She wrapped her arms around herself and let her head fall against the closed door. What in the world just happened? It felt like a dream that Jethro had just dropped into her morning, stayed for an hour and now was gone. Ana shook herself and moved to the bedroom to get ready. She was going to have to hurry if she wanted to be on time for the meeting. Her mind was reeling from seeing Jethro but her heart felt lighter and she thought maybe she had been wrong to worry. Jethro had been very convincing.

All the way back across the country that afternoon Jethro worried that he hadn't convinced Ana they were going to make it together. He thought she was going to need more time and he guessed in the end that didn't matter. He wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't looking for another woman so he could wait. The thing was, he was lonesome. He missed being in a relationship with a woman and he missed all the good things that included. Plus, he wanted Matthew to have a mom and the sooner that happened the better. But, he wanted Ana to be that mom so he told himself he'd just have to wait until she was ready. He wouldn't wait forever of course but he didn't think it would take forever. Maybe just one more year. He could do that. He didn't dwell on the fact that now he was the one who seemed so sure and Ana was the one who wasn't ready. When had he decided he was ready to take their relationship to the next level? What about all his doubts and worries that he was moving too fast? What about the fact that he still missed Jenny and still thought about her all the time? He didn't know the answer to any of those questions.

Jethro needn't have worried. Ana was very touched that he had gone to all the trouble to fly across the country to see her. She still had some concerns but by the time she got home she was sure of what she wanted and needed to do. After her meeting with the realtors and the buyers of her mother's house, she stopped at the hospital to see a friend before she headed home. Susan was Ana's senior resident when she started working in the ER as an intern all those years ago. Now they were close friends and Susan was Ana's closest confidant. She knew all about Jethro and had encouraged Ana to be patient if she was sure he was "the one". Ana hadn't told her about her worries but she was going to today and get Susan's advice.

When Ana got to the hospital Susan was just about to take her lunch break so they went to a diner across the street. They found a booth in the back away from the crowd and Ana explained that she had been having second thoughts about Jethro. She told her all about her internet searches and what she'd found out about Jenny.

"Wow, she's sounds like a pretty interesting woman. Certainly not an easy act to follow I agree. I suppose you're afraid Jethro will compare the two of you and for some reason you don't think you'll measure up. Am I right?"

"Exactly. I mean you should have seen some of the photos. She was really beautiful. They made a very striking couple. She was powerful and successful. Jethro adored her. I feel sort of like the ugly duckling when I see pictures of them."

Susan looked at her over her glass and frowned. She was very surprised to hear her friend talking like this. The Ana she knew was super confident and capable of handling the most stressful, life-threatening situations in the ER without blinking. Now she was intimidated by a dead woman. This wasn't right.

"Ana, stop comparing yourself to this woman. Yes, she was beautiful and so are you. Yes she was successful and Jethro loved her. You are successful and Jethro might just love you. That's what you need to focus on. I know all about Jenny Shepard. I Googled Jethro after you told me about him two years ago. I think you need to remember what we tell our patients all the time; stay off the internet and if you have to go there, don't believe everything you read."

"But what I've read about Jenny is true."

"So what? She's dead. I know that sounds harsh but come on, Ana. What if Jethro had gone home and they got a divorce and he came back for you? Would you have all these misgivings then?"

"Maybe not. I never thought about that."

"Maybe you're making her out to be this super person because of the tragic way the whole thing unfolded. You need to focus on the fact that this man who is quite the catch in my opinion, seems to want you."

"Actually there is something else I need to tell you."

Ana then told Susan about Jethro's visit that morning.

"Well for god's sake woman why didn't you tell me that at the beginning? What more do you want? The man manages to get a huge favor from the Secretary of the Navy no less just to come all the way out here to tell you not to give up on him. I don't know what else you want him to do, Ana."

"Well when you put it like that I guess I don't either."

"Listen, seriously now, if you love Jethro you need to trust him and yourself. It seems he's always been honest with you and never taken advantage of your feelings for him. Undoubtedly he still has work to do in the grief department but that doesn't mean he's not ready to move forward with his life. It sounds to me like he's made up his mind he wants you to move forward with him. Are you interested in doing that?"

Ana was quiet for a time. Their food came and she took a couple of bites of her sandwich while she processed what Susan had said. Could she imagine letting Jethro go? No. Could she imagine waiting another year or so before being with him? No. So what were her alternatives? Only one came to mind; she needed to move. She looked up at Susan and smiled.

"You know what, I am interested in that. Very much. In fact, I think I need to do some research into jobs in the DC area. I cannot continue a long distance relationship with Jethro. I can't imagine giving him up and I don't want to wait much longer. Why in the world have I been making this so hard?"

"I have no idea about that. But I do have an idea about your next job."

"You do? Let's hear it."

"Okay, do you remember Ben Sullivan from when you were a resident?"

"Yes, very tall and very skinny. Also very calm and an excellent ER doc. What about him?"

"He's the assistant director of emergency services at Washington Trauma Center in DC. He mentioned to me in an email last week that he was going to be hiring several doctors in the next few months. He asked if I'd be interested and I said no but maybe you should contact him."

"You're kidding! Yes, I want to talk to him. Why aren't you interested?"

"I can't leave San Diego. Bob and I are too settled here and I have a feeling we'll get married next year. I love it here too much to go anywhere. But….you seem to have the motivation to move. When we go back to the hospital I'll get you the info."

"I am sooo glad I came by to see you today!"

When they got back to the hospital Susan gave Ana the information Ben had sent her. Ana read it all and thought it sounded like it would be a good fit for her experience and the kind of work she loved doing. She pulled out her laptop and got busy. Like many professionals, Ana kept her resume up to date so she was able to complete the job application, attach her resume and send it out that afternoon While she was doing that Susan sent Dr. Sullivan an email explaining that she had passed his email along to Ana who was responding. He wrote back right away saying he remembered Ana and was looking forward to getting her resume. He said he'd get back to her right away to let her know he'd received it. Through the magic of technology he had Ana's application before she left the hospital. He emailed that it looked good and he'd contact her within the week.

Ana left San Diego feeling a hundred times better than she had when she'd arrived. Closing on the sale of her mother's house had been much less difficult than she'd imagined and she was pretty sure having seen Jethro that morning was a big reason for that. Sitting in line at the border that evening she sent him a text thanking him for coming to see her and telling him she loved him and she'd see him in a few weeks.

True to his word Dr. Sullivan sent Ana an email four days later asking her if she would be available for a phone interview the next day. Of course she said yes and so at eight o'clock the next morning she was sitting at her desk; the one Jethro had so lovingly restored for her, waiting for the phone to ring. The interview went well from her point of view. The job description was straightforward; ER doc for a very busy, very prestigious metropolitan trauma center. Exactly what Ana had always wanted. About two hours after the interview ended Ana got an email from Dr. Sullivan asking her if she could be in DC for an in-person interview at the end of June. Ana replied immediately that she could and would be there.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**Betrayal**

Chapter 20

Since Jethro's visit he and Ana had talked on the phone every day and had had face time three or four times. Jethro was swamped with new clients at work and being run ragged by a very active toddler at home. By the time he got Mattie ready for bed in the evening he was almost too tired to do anything but collapse on the couch and stare at the television. Ana calling was always a welcome way to break up the evening. She tried to call early enough for Mattie to do face time and that was always fun for all three of them. Mattie tended to talk non-stop and Jethro loved watching Ana's face as she listened to his son babble on about trucks and bugs and going to the park. Of course he also very much enjoyed the calls later at night that were of a more adult variety.

Ana didn't tell Mike about the job possibility in DC because she didn't want to put him in the position of keeping a secret from Jethro. She knew they talked regularly and she didn't want her surprise ruined. Keeping all this from Jethro might be a bit of a risk but Ana didn't really think so. She was very excited about the possibility of moving to DC and doing the kind of work she always wanted to do. If she and Jethro were going to be a couple, make a family together; they had to be in the same city. She knew in her heart this was the right move. Now all she had to do was get the job.

The next two weeks were a whirlwind of activity for Ana. She had some talks with Eric about the possibility of him taking over the clinic in the future. She decided to confide her situation to him because she really needed to know if it would be possible for her to leave. Eric said he was more than willing to move to El Rosario permanently. As it turns out he and Ana's new nurse, Jessica were much more than friends and Eric was ecstatic about the possibility of moving to El Rosario and running the clinic with Jessica's help. Seemed like everyone was on the verge of getting what they wanted.

Ana had waited as long as possible to tell Mike what was going on.

She'd seen him a couple of times since she'd had the phone interview but she hadn't really had a conversation with him. The day before she was to leave for her vacation she went out to see Mike and have lunch with him. She knew he would be supportive of her idea to move to DC and she was anxious to be able to tell him what was going on. When she got to the little house on the beach Mike was in his usual spot; the front porch.

"Hey, Mike how's everything on the beach?"

"Hello Ana. All's good here. How about in town?"

"Nice and quiet." Ana handed Mike a bag with chips and salsa in it. "A treat from Carmelita. How about a beer and we'll share these."

"Sounds good. You know where they are."

Ana brought two beers from the house and she and Mike dug into the chips and salsa.

"What's the occasion? You're out here in the middle of the week and we're celebrating something right?"

"Yes, we are."

The smile on her face was a dead giveaway to an observant guy like Mike.

"This got something to do with Probie?"

"It does. I haven't told you this before because I didn't want you to have to keep a secret from him. I've applied for a job at a hospital in DC and I have an interview scheduled while I'm there visiting."

"Well I'll be damned! And Jethro doesn't know about this?"

"No he doesn't. I wanted to surprise him. You think he'll be happy about this?"

"Overjoyed is more like it! Course he'll be happy. He's been sayin' how much he misses you and he hopes you have a good time on your visit. He thinks you're still sortin' out your feelings. Sounds to me like you've got it all sorted out."

Ana laughed. "Yes, I do. This opportunity came up right after he flew in on his Navy jet to try and convince me to give us a chance. I decided if he and I were ever going to make a go of our relationship we needed to be closer to each other so I jumped on the chance. I had a phone interview for the job two weeks ago and they want to interview me again in person next week.

"Wow. I'm sure gonna miss you Ana but I'm thrilled for you. And for Jethro. Wish I could see his face when you tell him."

"Well, let's hope I get the job and that he's as happy about it as I am."

"Oh don't worry he will be. He loves you and he wants you there I know that for a fact."

"Good because I'll be there."

As she was leaving that evening, Ana promised she and Jethro and Matthew would be back for a visit soon. Mike hugged her and gave his word he wouldn't let her secret out.

"You be careful on the way to San Diego and give the little boy a kiss for me. I want to hear all about Jethro's reaction to your news too."

"We'll call you while I'm there I promise. Thanks for everything Mike and especially for being someone Jethro can count on."

"That's my pleasure. You two be happy you hear me?"

"I'll sure try and do my part."

Ana arrived safely in San Diego and made it to the airport in time to find out her flight was delayed two hours by weather somewhere along the route. She sent Jethro a text letting him know about the delay. Then she sent him another one as they were finally boarding. Unfortunately she didn't have a direct flight and another delay caused her to be another hour late which meant she would be arriving at nine o'clock instead of six. This time she called Jethro to let him know what was going on.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I'm going to be another hour late."

"It' okay as long as you're on your way I'm happy. We'll be there. I have the flight number so I'll check on it while you're in the air."

"Will it be too late for Mattie? I could get a cab I guess."

"No way. We'll be there. He's been talking about going to the airport for two days. He'll probably be sound asleep in the car seat but he'll be there. He's almost as excited as his daddy is that you're finally going to be here."

"I'm pretty excited myself. Okay, we're boarding. See you soon. Just pick me up outside, you don't have to come in. I'll text you when I'm off the plane."

"Okay. See ya soon."

That evening before Noemi left Jethro made one last attempt to get Mattie to stay home with her or with Tony and Ziva while he went to the airport but Mattie wasn't having it.

"No, I go to airport for Ana."

"It's gonna be late and you'll fall asleep in the car."

"I wanna go. I wanna get Ana and see planes."

He was giving his father the same look Jenny used to when she was determined to get her way about something. It worked for her every time and it worked for Mattie pretty much the same way. Noemi simply stood by and watched this interaction and smiled. She knew that Jethro was a wonderful father and he really didn't spoil Matthew but that little boy could be very determined. Just like his parents. She knew Jethro was going to take Mattie with him to the airport.

"Okay, I'm going home you two. There is roast beef in the refrigerator you can heat up or use for sandwiches. I think you'll find plenty in there for the weekend. Are you sure you don't need me this weekend? I'm happy to come over if you do."

"No, we'll be okay. You enjoy your weekend. If the weather is good we're going sailing on Saturday at least. Thanks for the cookies and getting everything so ship shape around here."

"You're welcome. We have to make a good impression you know."

"We sure do."

Noemi turned back to Jethro and put her hand on his arm.

"Jethro, don't worry about anything these next two weeks. I have a very good feeling about all this. It pleases me so much to see you happy again. That is what Jenny wanted for you so don't feel the least bit nervous or worried. Enjoy yourself. Let yourself be happy."

"Thank you my friend. I appreciate you saying that."

Jethro gave her a hug and Mattie hugged her leg.

"Bye Eemy. Love you."

"Goodnight Matthew. You be a good boy this weekend and have fun with daddy and Ana."

"I will."

Since Ana would be getting there so late Jethro and Matthew had time for supper and all their usual evening routines. While Jethro cleaned up the kitchen Mattie played on the floor with his trucks and building blocks. Then it was time for a bath and some stories.

"When we go to airport for Ana?"

"In a little while. We have time for two stories then we'll go."

"Okay."

Mattie picked out his books and crawled into his daddy's lap. By the time the second story was finished the little boy was asleep. Jethro hated taking him out this late but Mattie had been so looking forward to seeing Ana that he couldn't say no. Besides, it was Friday night so everyone could sleep in tomorrow. Truth be told Jethro was almost as tired as his son. His work week had been very hectic and he hadn't been sleeping very well the past few nights. He knew he was nervous about having Ana there; good nervous but still, it was interrupting his sleep. Add in a toddler who seemed to wake up in the middle of the night every night lately and you had very little sleep for the father.

Jethro put Mattie down on the couch and went to the kitchen to get a go-cup of coffee. He checked the flight arrival time on his phone and saw they were due to land at the new scheduled time of nine ten pm. Jethro gathered Mattie, his blanket and his stuffed tiger and headed to the car. Mattie didn't wake up even when Jethro buckled him into the car seat. He probably wouldn't know Ana was there until he saw her the next morning. His daddy sure would though.

Ana was exhausted. She never understood why traveling made her so tired but it did. She knew some of it was emotions; she was excited and nervous at the same time. The idea of leaving her home and the clinic behind for an uncertain life in DC was a bit scary. As much as she wanted to be with Jethro and build a life with him, she had no real assurance that he would be on board with what she was doing. She told herself Jethro would be happy she was hoping to stay. In fact she told herself that over and over again all day long. By the time her plane landed at National Airport she had convinced herself Jethro would be just as excited to have her moving as she was. Either way, she'd know in the next few hours.

Jethro parked in the cell phone waiting lot until Ana's text came over his phone. Mattie was still asleep and his daddy was about a minute from being asleep himself when his phone vibrated in his hand. He was holding it for exactly that reason; to make sure he didn't sleep through her message.

He downed the last of his coffee and drove over to the baggage claim area. About ten minutes later he spotted Ana coming out the door just down from where he was stopped. Not wanting to leave Mattie in the truck alone, Jethro eased down closer to the door and then stepped out of the truck and went to the passenger side. Ana spotted him immediately and ran across the median into his arms. Jethro held on tightly and breathed her in. Then he kissed her.

"Hi!"

"Hi yourself. Welcome. I'm very happy to see you."

"Likewise. Is Matthew here?"

"Asleep in the back. He insisted he had to come so he's here."

"Jethro, I'm so, so glad to be here."

"Come on, let's get your bag in and get out of here."

They made their way slowly away from the airport and headed to Jethro's house.

"You hungry?"

"Starving actually."

"We can stop for something or I can make you a roast beef sandwich when we get home."

"Oh, that sounds fabulous. Let's not stop."

Jethro reached for her hand and held on all the way home. He could see Ana was tired so he tamped down on his unspoken plans for the night. No need to rush things; she'd be here for two weeks he told himself. Jethro was determined to let Ana set the pace when it came to them taking the next steps in their relationship. He had no intention of forcing the issue; he was just going to enjoy having her with him and let her decide where they went next.

Ana was fairly bursting to tell Jethro her news but she managed to contain herself on the ride to his house. Jethro asked about Mike and Carmelita and Ana filled him in on the news of the town. They talked about going out on the boat the next day and Ana said that sounded like fun. When they got to the house Ana took her bag and held the door open for Jethro to carry Matthew in. He took him straight up to his room and Ana followed up the stairs. She waited in the hallway while Jethro put Mattie to bed. When he came out he pointed to the bedroom next to Mattie's.

"You can have this room if you want. I wasn't sure what you'd want to do so this room is all set up if you want to use it. Or, you can stay in my room. With me."

Ana smiled at him and put her hand on his chest.

"Why don't I start out in here tonight and we'll go from there. Is that okay with you?"

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I'm just so glad to have you in the same house I'm fine with whatever you want to do."

"Okay. I think you said something about a sandwich."

"Yes, I did. The bathroom is right there if you want to freshen up or anything. If you want to get settled in here I'll go make you a fabulous sandwich. Come on down when you're ready."

Then he kissed her and turned around and left her standing breathless in the guest bedroom. Ana was glad to have her own space but she was pretty sure she wouldn't be in there for long. They would need to talk about what Matthew should know or see but she was sure Jethro had already thought of that. For now she got her toiletries out of her bag and went into the bathroom to wash her hands and face and brush her teeth. After she'd done all that and brushed out her hair she felt much better. She took the time to change into some soft, cotton capris and a clean tee shirt. She set off in search of her sandwich and a way to tell Jethro her news.

Ana found Jethro in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on her sandwich. He motioned for her to sit at the small table and brought her sandwich on a plate with sliced tomatoes and glass of water.

"You want a beer or something? Wine or soda?"

"No, this is perfect. Come sit with me."

After three bites Ana took a moment to breathe. She had known she was hungry but hadn't realized how much she'd needed food.

"Best sandwich ever. Thank you."

Jethro laughed. "You're welcome. Looks like I got it to you just in time."

"Yes. Sorry, but I was really hungry. I think I forgot to eat lunch."

Jethro told her more about his plans for going sailing tomorrow. And maybe doing some sightseeing on Sunday.

"I'm not working the next two weeks so we don't have to rush and do everything at once. We can take our time and enjoy the two weeks we have."

"Jethro, I need to talk to you about my time here. I mean about how long I'll be here."

Alarm bells starting going off in his head. He was sure she was going to say she couldn't stay the whole two weeks and he didn't want to hear that. She looked very serious all of a sudden and it made him nervous.

"Why don't you finish your sandwich and we can go in the living room and talk. I'm going up to change and check on Mattie. Be right back."

Ana knew she'd scared him and she was sorry about that. She hadn't meant for him to think she was leaving early but she'd bet her last dollar that's what he thought. She finished off her sandwich and the tomato slices and put her plate and fork in the dishwasher. She took her glass of water and gave herself a tour of the downstairs. When Jethro came back down he found her looking at pictures on the mantle of Kelly and Shannon and one of Jenny holding Matthew. He watched her looking at them and wondered if he should have put them away. He'd thought about it but never made a decision. Ana felt him behind her and turned to him smiling.

"So, it's true what Mike says; you have a thing for redheads."

She'd never know how much her light hearted remark helped him in that moment.

"Had, a thing for redheads. Now I happen to have a very serious thing for a brunette. One in particular in fact."

"Good because I happen to have a very serious thing for you. I like the house, Jethro. It's very welcoming and comfortable."

"About the pictures…."

"They're lovely, Jethro and right where they should be. The picture of Jenny and Matthew is beautiful. The look on her face tells how much she loved him."

"Yeah, that was outside one afternoon. He was about six months old. I wasn't sure if I should have it out or not."

"Of course you should. She was Matthew's mother. He needs to see her; put a face to who he hears reading to him so he knows who his mother was. Please don't ever think you need to hide her, or Shannon, from me."

"Thank you. Come and sit with me."

They settled on the couch, Jethro on the end and Ana close against him. She was almost afraid to get too comfortable for fear she'd fall asleep. Neither of them spoke for a while, they just enjoyed being able to actually touch each other instead of seeing the other person only on a small screen. Finally Jethro couldn't stand it any longer.

"Please don't tell me you can't stay the whole two weeks we've been planning on."

"Okay I won't say that. I do need to talk to you about how long I can stay though."

Now he was confused and the look on his face gave that away. Ana was suddenly overcome with nervous energy and she got up and started pacing around. Finally she stopped, standing in the middle of the room with the coffee table between them.

"Jethro, there's been a change of plans and I…."

"Ana, spit it out, you're killin' me here."

"I have a job interview at Washington Trauma Center next Wednesday."

Jethro stood up but didn't move toward her.

"You mean Washington Trauma Center here?"

"Yes."

Now he moved. Before she knew it he had her in a bear hug and was lifting her off her feet and turning them in circles. He set her down and framed her face with his hands and kissed her. Kissed her several times before he finally let her go and let both of them take some much needed breaths.

"Can you explain that, please?"

"Yes. When I was a resident in San Diego there was a doctor there who is now the Assistant Director of Emergency Medicine at Washington Trauma. He is hiring several new doctors in the next few months and I had a phone interview with them last week. They want to talk to me in person next Wednesday. This all happened very suddenly after you were there. I wanted to surprise you. I hope that's okay."

It took a few more seconds for all that to register with him and Ana knew the instant it had. His face lit up with a huge smile and his mouth opened and closed and no sound came out.

"You're not kidding me are you because…."

"I'm not kidding. I want to move out here so we can really make us work."

"Oh my god, Ana I can't believe this. I'm so happy."

Jethro pulled her close and kissed her over and over. It was as if he couldn't get enough of her all of a sudden. The joy on his face and in his voice told Ana she had truly made the right decision. There was a lot of kissing and touching for a while and then they both slowed down and Jethro led her back to the couch and asked her to tell him exactly what had caused this major change in her plans.

"After you left the apartment that day I went to the closing for the sale of my mom's house and I realized I was all alone there. That started me thinking and then I stopped at the hospital to see a friend and we went to lunch. She helped me come to terms with what I really wanted in life and told me about the job opportunity here."

"I want her name and phone number so I can call her and thank her."

Ana laughed, "I can manage that. I knew by the time I got home that night I wanted to be here with you. I've wanted that for a while but when this job opportunity more or less fell in my lap I knew I had to go for it. Anyway, I interviewed over the phone and like I said, they want to see me on Wednesday."

"I'm so happy I can't tell you how happy I am right now. You would be giving up a lot to be here Ana. Don't think I don't know that and appreciate it. I means a lot to me that you would do that for us."

"All I would leave behind doesn't compare to what I have here and what I hope we can build together."

That earned her several kisses and things were about to get very interesting when they heard a little voice calling for daddy.

"Geez. That kid has terrible timing."

"Yes, he does. Go on. We have plenty of time."

"I like the sound of that. You might as well come up with me. He won't go back to sleep until he sees you."

"Well then let's go. I'm excited to see him."

"Daddy!"

"I'm coming, Mattie."

Together they hurried up the stairs. Jethro went to Mattie's room with Ana standing behind him. Matthew was sitting up in the middle of his bed, his tiger firmly under one arm and his eyes only about half open.

"What's the matter little man? Why are you awake?"

"Did Ana come?"

"She sure did. She's right here."

Jethro stepped aside and Ana stepped up next to the bed. She sat down and rubbed Matthew's back.

"Hi, Matthew. I'm so happy to see you."

"We went to get you and I was asleep."

"Yes you were. Could I give you a hug?"

"Sure."

With that Mattie crawled onto her lap and wrapped his arms around her laying his head on her shoulder. Ana held him close and kissed the top of his head. She felt like she could cry she was so happy in that moment. Jethro stood watching and he too was nearly in tears at the sight of Mattie so comfortable with Ana. That would make things so much better. And easier.

"Listen Mattie, if we're going sailing tomorrow you need to get back to sleep."

Mattie sat up and looked at Ana. "You go sailing with us?"

"I sure will. I'm excited to see your boat. You think we better go to bed so we'll be ready?"

"Yes. It's fun. You like it."

"I bet I will. I'm glad I got to see you Mattie. You better go back to sleep now."

"Okay."

Mattie crawled back to his spot and Ana covered him up and kissed him on the forehead. Jethro leaned down and kissed his son.

"Go right to sleep mister. We have a big day tomorrow."

"I will. Love you daddy. Love you Ana."

"I love you too, Mattie. Goodnight."

Ana stepped out while Jethro tucked Matthew in and kissed him again. When he came out he closed the door and reached for her.

"I think he'll sleep better now that he knows you're here. I think he's been almost as excited about you being here as I am."

"He's a sweet boy. You're doing a great job Jethro. I know it can't be easy being a single dad."

"I couldn't do it without Noemi. At least not as well that's for sure. You must be tired."

"I am. Maybe I should get ready for bed. Like you said we have a big day tomorrow."

"I'll go down and turn off the lights and stuff. I'll be back up in a few minutes."

Ana went to the guest room and sat on the bed. She wasn't all that tired and she didn't think she'd sleep very well knowing Jethro was just down the hall. She sensed he was letting her set the pace for them and she appreciated that. Maybe it was time to take the brakes off and get the show on the road so to speak. She heard Jethro on the stairs and made up her mind.

Jethro knocked softly on the door and when he heard Ana say come in he opened the door and leaned against the frame.

"Do you have everything you need?"

"No."

That surprised him because he was sure Noemi had put towels and whatever in the room.

"Oh. Well whatever it is I'm sure I can get it. You need towels or another pillow or…."

Ana stood up and walked toward him. He saw the look in her eyes and pushed himself off the doorframe and stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.

"I don't need a towel or a pillow."

By now she was standing so close to him he could reach out and touch her so that's exactly what he did. He very gently traced his fingers down her arms feeling goose bumps form on her soft skin as he moved to her hands. He let his hands slip under her tee shirt and then up her sides and around her back. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"You sure?"

"Very. But are you? We don't have to rush Jethro. I want you to be sure you're ready."

"I am. I understand what you're saying and what maybe you're worried about. I know who I'm with. I know who it is I want. You, Dr. Ana Mendez, are who I want. You need to believe that before we go any further."

Ana's response was to pull off her tee shirt and drop it on the floor. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled him against her.

"I believe you Jethro."

That was all the talking they did for a pretty long time. They each got busy touching and exploring. Hands were roaming and mouths too. Without breaking contact Jethro moved them to the bed where he sat down and pulled her to stand between his legs. Ana unhooked her bra and it joined the tee shirts on the floor. With a gentleness that took her breath away, Jethro cupped her breasts and kissed each one over and over again. She ran her fingers through his hair as he lavished his attention on her breasts. She felt his hands on her hips and he pushed her pants down until she stepped out of them. When he took a breast in his mouth and suckled, a moan escaped her throat and when his hand went between her legs to stroke her sex, she nearly came apart in his arms.

"Jethro, I need you." Ana could barely speak and those four words took a lot of effort and concentration.

Jethro stood up and Ana pushed his shorts down and gave him a taste of his own medicine. She got her hand in his boxers and stroked his erection and it was Jethro who almost came apart.

Just to be on the safe side Jethro stepped away to lock the door and turn off the overhead light. Now the room was lit only by the small lamp on the bedside table. When he turned back around Ana lying on the bed with a smile on her face and her hand out beckoning him to join her. Jethro lay down beside her and leaning over her began kissing her and exploring her body with his mouth and hands. Neither of them spoke for several minutes as they tasted and touched each other, getting to know each other and sharing their pleasure in one another. Jethro had removed her panties and as he returned to kiss her, he moved a hand to her center and began stroking her. The quiet noises Ana was making told him he was on the right track.

Ana was losing her mind. Jethro was overwhelming her with gentleness and attention and she knew she'd never get enough of this man. She had been pretty busy exploring and tasting and touching him but right now he had her on the brink she needed him to take her over.

Jethro knew she was ready and he was about to die if he didn't get inside her. Ana apparently felt the same way because she was pushing his boxers down and reaching for him. When she wrapped her hand around his erection he had to force himself to maintain some control. He moved over on top of her and looked into her face as she continued stroking him. Her eyes were wide open and she was smiling at him. Her thumb brushed over his tip and he very nearly came in her hand.

"Damn Ana. I need to be inside you."

"Yes, you do."

And with that she guided him to her entrance. He tried to go slowly and carefully but Ana was making it pretty clear that he needed to get a move on. When she arched up to meet him he thrust inside her. He watched her eyes fall shut and he kissed her hard on the mouth. He pulled out and then thrust in again burying himself fully inside her. When he broke off the kiss Ana opened her eyes and smiled up at him again. She began moving beneath him and in moments they found their rhythm. Their foreplay had been intense so it didn't take long for them to reach the finish line. Jethro felt her tightening around him and her movements becoming more frantic.

"Ana, let go baby, I got you."

That was all she needed to hear. Jethro thrust into her twice more and her orgasm overwhelmed her and she came completely undone beneath him. The sight of that complete surrender was Jethro's undoing and he came right behind her spilling himself into her with two deep thrusts. As they both began recovering their senses and their breath, Ana managed to turn them over and she lay out on Jethro their sweat slicked bodies in complete contact. He was still inside her and that was exactly where she wanted him.

After a few moments of deep breathing and racing hearts, Ana sat up, her knees on either side of his hips. She looked down at Jethro who had his eyes closed and a sort of silly grin on his face. She scraped her nails up and down his chest and played with his chest hair. When she leaned down to nibble on his nipples his eyes came open and he gasped. Ana leaned down and kissed him three or four very soft, clingy kisses and then she got serious and kissed him hard, her tongue deep in his mouth tasting him. And she started moving on him. That really got his attention. Jethro's hands were on her hips urging her on. Ana braced herself on her arms looming over him. Jethro liked this position because he could get his hands and his mouth on her breasts. Ana rose up until he almost slipped out of her and then she sank back down on him and they found a different, equally satisfying rhythm this time.

By the time Ana collapsed on his chest long minutes later neither of them had any energy left. Jethro reached over and turned off the lamp. Ana was sprawled on her back and Jethro looked down at her smiling. He kissed her softly.

"That was magnificent, Jethro. And fun. Thank you."

"Yeah it was fun. And pretty damn wonderful. And believe me you are welcome. You are definitely worth the wait, Dr. Mendez."

"You too. I just want to say again how glad I am to be here. And doubly so just now."

"I'm pretty glad you're here too. And especially glad you're staying. I still can't believe it."

"I think I'm going to sleep. Are you staying in here or do you need to be in your own room? You know for Mattie."

"I'm not leaving you. I'll worry about him later."

He leaned down and kissed her again.

"Go to sleep. Big day tomorrow."

"I feel like this was a pretty big day."

"Damn sure was. And an even bigger and better night."

Ana rolled onto her side and Jethro spooned up right behind her, his arm across her middle pulling her close. Ana grasped his hand and kissed his palm.

"Good night, Jethro. I love you."

"Night babe. Love you."

Ana laid there for a while thinking. She had never been treated with such tenderness and care by a man. She knew they had challenges ahead not the least of which would be his memories and the grieving Ana believed he was still doing. She was determined those issues would not come between them. She would love him and care for him and wait for him to really and truly love her for herself not as a replacement which she knew was at least partially what she was now. That would change she was sure.

Jethro too lay awake for a while thinking. It had been a long time since he'd had sex and a much longer time since he'd been with anyone besides Jenny. There was an inevitable sort of comparison playing in his head that he simply couldn't avoid. It wasn't a rating sort of comparison but rather an acknowledgement that Ana was a much different lover than Jenny had been. The passion that held Jethro and Jenny together was a heat that very often threatened to burn them and sometimes was almost violent in its intensity. Maybe that was because when they started together they were in a dangerous environment that heightened every sensation. Maybe it was because they both knew what they were doing was forbidden by protocol and good sense. None of that mattered to them at the time and those experiences in Europe formed their relationship and carried over even after they were married. They fought tooth and nail frequently and loved more intensely than was probably good for them.

This relationship with Ana was not like that. They had started out in much different circumstances of course and Jethro was a different person now. He had expected to love only one woman all his life and then he'd expected to love only Jenny the rest of his life. Now, he had to admit he was just a little bit afraid to love Ana. He'd said he loved her of course and he thought he did love her but deep down in his soul where his fears lived, where his loss resided; there he was afraid to love again. He was also terribly lonely and he needed someone to love him. He needed someone to hold onto at night, to sit with while an old movie played, someone whose hand he could hold and whose laughter he could hear in the house. And of course he needed someone to be a mother to Matthew.

If he had been able to examine all that in the clear light of day he might have realized he was using Ana to make himself feel better; something he had sworn he would not do. Now though, lying in the dark with the woman who had just an hour or so ago had become his lover, he wasn't really capable of sorting through all the emotions that swirled around in his psyche. All he knew at this moment just before sleep took him away was that he was happy and he felt loved and he hadn't felt either of those things in a long time.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

**Betrayal**

Chapter 21

The new lovers slept soundly until almost seven o'clock. Jethro woke to find Ana awake and watching him while her hand was gently tracing random patterns on his chest.

"Good morning. I hope I didn't wake you".

Jethro glanced at the clock and was surprised he had slept that late. Normally he was awake and up no later than six even on the weekends. Luckily Matthew was not awake yet and probably wouldn't be for another half hour or so.

"You didn't. You sleep okay?"

"I must have because this is the first time I've been awake. Must be the new mattress. I'll have to thank Noemi when I meet her."

"Could be the mattress or it could be the workout you had last night."

"Yes, that could have played a part in my very sound sleep. How about you, how'd you sleep?"

"Very well. Now, as much as I'd like to wish you a proper good morning, Mattie will likely be up in the next thirty minutes or so. I think I'd like to put off him seeing us sleeping together for a little while. In fact I haven't the first idea how to deal with that. Maybe you and I can talk about it later. I'd like you input."

"Sure. As for this morning I would settle for a couple of good kisses and then you better get out of here."

Jethro rolled over and kissed her tenderly. Then he kissed her again not so tenderly. She enjoyed them both very much.

When Jethro got up to leave Ana rolled over mumbling about getting up in a few minutes. He doubted that was going to happen. Jethro gathered his clothes and made his way to his bathroom where he took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and got dressed for the day. As he was pulling on his shirt Matthew came wandering in barely awake. Jethro picked him up and Mattie laid his head on his daddy's shoulder. They went downstairs and Jethro got the coffee started then sat in his recliner with Mattie snuggled in his arms. Before long they were both asleep.

Eventually everyone was awake and moving and they got the day started. Mattie was excited to have Ana in the house and he jabbered away non-stop all through breakfast. By the time they got to the marina Jethro was about to lose his patience with his child's constant questions and nonsense talking. Finally they got underway and Mattie stopped talking. He loved being on the boat with his daddy and for some reason he always got very quiet when they were out. Maybe because his daddy was usually very quiet on the boat. Sailing was an escape for Jethro. He loved taking Mattie with him but naturally there wasn't much conversation between the two of them. Ana watched them and again, was amazed at what a natural Jethro was as a father.

They had a wonderful day on the water. The weather was perfect and Jethro was in his element handling the boat and keeping Mattie contained at the same time. Mattie was always wearing a life jacket of course and most of the time was tethered by a long cable to bolt in the floor near where Jethro sat. He could move around but never close to the rail and never really out of reach of his daddy.

When they'd been out for about two hours they dropped anchor and Jethro rigged a shade for them to sit under while they had snacks.

"Is this the boat you were building in the basement?"

"No. I bought this one the summer after Jenny died."

"So, are you still working on yours?"

"No."

The tone suggested maybe Ana shouldn't press that issue so she didn't. Jethro knew he should explain.

"I destroyed my boat. One day while Jenny was sick we were over at the house for some reason. She was outside and I was in the basement supposedly to work on the boat."

He stopped and looked out over the water.

"Jethro, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"It's okay. Maybe I should. Anyway, I just lost it and picked up a sledge hammer and in about ten minutes I had destroyed two years of work. Jenny came down and we sat on the floor and I cried. It was always more about the process anyway but I just couldn't imagine ever sailing that boat. It was supposed to for the two of us and . . . ."

Ana reached for his hand and squeezed letting him know she understood.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I want you to be able to talk about all of that with me."

"Thank you."

Mattie had finished his crackers and his drink. He put his cup down and said, "Let's go daddy. Let's go fast."

"Guess break's over."

"Sounds like it."

They did go fast for a while and then Mattie went down below for a nap and the adults had some privacy for a while. They took advantage of the opportunity. By the time they were headed back to the marina the sun was sinking in the western sky and everyone was hot and tired. It had been a nearly perfect day.

On Sunday they went to DC and wandered around the National Mall, looking at all the monuments and the people. Ana and Jethro rarely lost physical contact with each other, holding hands, walking close together. Mattie was a delight and full of seemingly unending energy. Early in the evening they ate dinner at a small Italian place that was Jethro's favorite and got home way past Mattie's bedtime. Jethro carried him up to his bed and tucked him in. When he went to Ana's room she was kicking off her shoes and about to pull off her tee shirt.

"Need some help?"

"Sure."

Jethro pulled the tee shirt over her head and leaned into her kissing her shoulder and moving slowly to her throat and then her mouth. Several minutes later he pulled back and held her face in his big hands. He looked her in the eyes and saw so much love looking back at him it almost scared him. He wasn't sure he was ready.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I wanted to say something about last night."

Ana kept hold of his hand and moved to the bed. She sat down and Jethro sat beside her.

"I had thought our first time would be a bit more romantic than the guest room."

"I have no complaints."

"I'm glad. Me either by the way."

Obviously there was more he wanted to say but suddenly he couldn't find the words. Ana wondered if her being here was a little bit too real for him.

"Jethro, do you feel things are moving too fast? Are you uncomfortable having me here?"

"No. It's not that. This is hard."

"Hey, look at me." Ana put her hand on his face and turned him to look at her. "I can hear anything you need to say. Please tell me what's bothering you."

"Last night we were good together. I enjoyed it very much. But I should have taken the time to find out what you wanted. What you like. I just…I'm…."

"You're used to what Jenny wanted and liked."

"Yeah." His head was down and Ana could barely hear him.

"Jethro, look at me. It's alright. Everything you did was wonderful. I've never been with a man who paid more attention to my needs and my enjoyment than you did last night. But, you're right we should talk to one another about what we want from each other. That doesn't mean we have to have a meeting before we have sex. I'll be happy to tell you, or better yet show you what I want or where I want you while we're in the midst of it. You know what I mean?"

"I do."

He leaned into her pushing her down onto the bed. In a flash he had her bra off and was dropping soft kisses along a trail from one breast to the other.

In between kisses he managed to ask, "So, if this was something you didn't like you'd say so?"

More kisses and Ana was barely able to respond.

"Definitely."

Jethro kissed his way to her mouth and took her breath away. He caressed her breasts with a gentleness that amazed Ana. When the kiss came to an end Ana lay there with her eyes closed and a smile on her swollen lips.

"Would joining me in the shower be something you might like?"

"Yes, I believe so. Definitely. But Jethro, what about what you want?"

"I'll show you don't worry."

From that night on they communicated very well; at least when it came to sex anyway.

Ana met Noemi for the first time on Monday morning and the two women hit it off right away. That pleased Jethro more than he could say. Noemi was a very important part of Jethro's and Matthew's lives and if she and Ana had clashed it would have been very awkward and very difficult.

Knowing they had at least two weeks together and maybe a lot more, let them relax a little bit and not feel like they had to pack so much into every day. That being the case they spent the day just hanging out at the house, playing with Matthew and getting comfortable with one another. They took Mattie to the park in the late morning and after lunch, while Mattie took a nap, the two of them sat on the back deck and just talked.

"One day this week do you think we could go look for a place to live near the hospital. Since I don't have a car here I'd need to live within walking distance. If I get the job of course. Ben said there are several decent rooming houses nearby. All I really need is a room. I'll be working so much it won't make sense to pay for an apartment. Besides, I hope to spend my free time with a guy I know. Can you drive me over there and look with me?"

Jethro let her go on and on knowing full well what he was going to say when she asked him to take her.

"No."

That was all he said. He was playing with her but she didn't know him quite well enough to see that. For a moment she was taken aback but then she looked at him and saw that little half smile he had and she knew.

"No?"

"No. Why would you live over there and pay rent for a shabby room when you have a perfectly good place to live right here?"

"Jethro, living together is a pretty big step and I'm not sure we're ready for that. Do you really think it's a good idea? And, as I said I don't have a car. How am I going to get back and forth?"

"Yes I think it's a good idea. You can keep using the guest room if you're more comfortable with that. I'm fine with that. Well, not fine but okay I guess. Sort of. There's a perfectly good Jeep Cherokee sitting in the driveway that I almost never drive so you can use that. Problem solved."

He looked very pleased with himself.

"Jethro I can't drive . . . ."

"It's not Jenny's car. I sold her car. It's mine and like I said I don't drive it. I prefer the truck. Ana, it doesn't make sense for you to pay rent someplace when you can live here for free."

"Do you realize I will have the worst hours and work almost all the time for the first year anyway? We probably won't see each other for days at a time."

"Then you won't be in the way. And when you're not working I'll know you're here, safe and sound and being taken care of by me and Noemi and Mattie. How can you even think of living alone in a rented room when all this is here for you?"

Ana laughed. She had secretly hoped for this but was not ever in a million years going to be the one who suggested it. She was past relieved to not be living as Jethro said, 'alone in a rented room' when he was just across town.

"You make a good point. Several in fact."

"Good then it's settled. You'll live here and we'll never see each other."

She reached for his hand, "We can decide that when I know whether or not I'm staying. But, we're seeing each other now."

"Yes we are. And suddenly I feel the need for some alone time. Care to join me?"

"What will Noemi think if we disappear upstairs in the middle of the afternoon?"

"That I'm a very lucky man."

When Noemi saw Jethro and Ana headed upstairs what she thought of was a time when she'd watched Jethro and Jenny heading up the stairs of the Georgetown townhouse for an afternoon "nap". She pushed that thought out of her head. She liked Ana. She loved Jethro. She worried that he was moving too quickly to replace someone he had loved so passionately. Noemi knew Jethro needed a partner and Matthew needed a mother but she worried it was too soon and too convenient. She hoped she was wrong.

Later that afternoon Ben called Ana and told her where the interview would be on Wednesday. He verified the time with her and told her to relax and just be herself. He was confident she would do well and even hinted he was pretty sure she'd be offered a position. Ana was thrilled but tried not to be too excited lest she be disappointed if things didn't work out.

On Monday night Ducky invited them over for dinner and Ana met the much loved Dr. Mallard for the first time. Of course she was smitten as was the good doctor. Ducky was delighted to hear she might be coming back soon to live and work in DC. Ana quickly picked up on the strong bond between Jethro and Ducky. She could see how much Jethro respected the older man and the love they had for each other. It made her feel good to know Jethro had had such a good friend during the last couple of years. Ducky asked her about her work and they spent a good deal of time talking medicine. Jethro just listened and entertained Mattie.

Tuesday night she was glad she had Matthew for a distraction as she was getting very nervous. There was more than just a job riding on this interview; her whole future could be impacted by how things went the next day. Luckily, Matthew had insisted he wanted Ana to help him with his bath and then to read him stories. Jethro, it seemed was being replaced for this one evening at least.

"You sure you don't want daddy to read to you?"

"I want Ana to read the stories. Daddy can watch tv."

"Well, okay then I guess I'll leave you two alone."

Jethro winked at her and left Mattie's room.

"Okay my friend you pick out the stories."

Ana sat in the rocking chair and watched as Matthew searched through his books for just the right ones. Finally he settled on Green Eggs and Ham and a picture book of farm animals. Once they were settled together in the chair Ana began reading. Mattie held her arm and leaned into her and her heart melted just a little more. She was becoming very attached to this little boy and she could not imagine leaving him. What if she didn't get the job? Ana pushed that thought out of her mind and focused on Mattie and his stories. When they were finished Mattie put the books away and pulled out another one. He also got a recorder off the shelf and handed them both to Ana.

"My mom reads this book to me. Wanna hear it?"

Ana was taken aback for just a moment. She knew about the recordings Jenny had made for Matthew but she was unsure if she should do this just yet. Matthew was looking at her expectantly though and she had to respond. She knew if she said no he would be hurt and that was not an option.

"Yes, I would like that. How do we do it?"

Matthew had paid close attention to his dad so he knew about the number in the book. He opened the cover and pointed to the number Jenny had written inside.

"This is the number on the thing."

Ana looked at the recorder and saw the digital counter. Luckily it was very close to the number in the book. She advanced the recording to the correct place and pulled Mattie onto her lap. Setting the recorder on the nearby shelf, she turned it on and soon the sweet, soft voice of Matthew's mother filled the room. As Jenny read the Saggy Baggy Elephant to Mattie, Ana fought back tears. She had to concentrate on the words so she could turn the pages although Mattie seemed to know exactly when to do that himself. All too soon the story was over. Mattie closed the book and settled closer to Ana. She turned off the recorder and set the book aside wrapping her arms around the little boy and kissing him on the head.

"I liked that Mattie. Thank you for letting me listen to that with you."

"That's a good story. I like it."

"You ready for bed little man?"

"Let's go find daddy."

Mattie jumped off her lap and headed for the door. Ana followed him down the hall and down the stairs where he found his dad stretched out on the couch. Matthew launched himself at Jethro who caught him and hugged him and smothered him with kisses.

"I thought you were going to bed."

"No. We read stories and then mommy read Saggy Baggy Elephant."

Jethro looked up at Ana who simply smiled and nodded at him. She saw the question in his eyes.

"It was fine," she said quietly.

"I want some ice cream."

"No ice cream. It's time for you to be in bed. Come on."

Matthew frowned at his father but did not argue. He seemed to have known ice cream was a long shot but he tried at least. Ana gave him a kiss and told him good night then Jethro picked him up off the couch and carried him like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder up the stairs.

"Night Ana."

"Good night sweet boy. See you in the morning."

A few minutes later Jethro returned and took his place on the couch. Ana moved over to snuggle into his side. An old movie was playing on the television, the sound turned off. If Ana hadn't been so anxious about her interview the next morning she would have fallen asleep.

"How did you know about the recording?"

"Mattie got the book and the recorder. He showed me the number in the book and told me it was the number on the "thing". I figured it out from there."

"I forget sometimes how observant and how damn smart he is. He's seen me do it a hundred times but I never told him you know."

"Yes, he is a smart little boy. And very observant as you say. Which brings me to a concern. He is seeing us together here, in his home and we need to be mindful of what he's thinking about it. He may not be able to say what he's thinking but trust me, he's making a connection between me and you and this home."

"I know."

"And?"

"I'm not worried because I expect you will be around for a long time so he needs to get used to seeing you here."

"Jethro, there is no guarantee I will be here past my planned return date. This job is not certain and honestly I have to hear their offer before I can make a decision. I cannot move across the country even for you if the job and the salary and lots of other things are not good for me. I love you but I have to think about my career too."

"I know."

"Is that all you are going to contribute to the conversation tonight?"

Ana had now moved to sit sideways so she could look at Jethro as they talked. Or as she talked and he barely answered. Sometimes he was so exasperating!

"As far as Mattie knows you're here for two weeks and then you're going home. That is what I told him before you got here and at least twenty times since then. I can guarantee he will be sad when you leave but he's two and he'll get over it in a day or two. His father on the other hand will not. I won't want you to go unless it is to pack up and come back."

"I'm very nervous about tomorrow. This interview could be life-changing for me. For us."

"You'll do fine. I have a feeling you'll get an offer. Then all you have to do is decide if it's good enough to lure you out here. If it's not you can say no and find another job here if you really want to be here. That isn't the only hospital in DC you know."

"But it's the best trauma center and that's where I want to be. That's the kind of medicine I want to practice."

"Hey, you'll get it. Trust me. My gut is never wrong and it's saying that job is yours. Why don't we go upstairs and I'll see if I can get your mind off the interview and onto something more enjoyable."

"And what would that be?"

"Me. And you. With no clothes on. A big bed. You know, stuff like that."

"What a sweet talker you are!"

"I have other, better skills. Come on and I'll show you."

Before he knew it Ana was off the couch and half way up the stairs. She turned to look back at him and laughed.

"What are you waiting for?"

By the time he caught her and locked the bedroom door Ana was there waiting on him. Jethro pulled off his shirt and dropped his shorts between the doorway and the bed.

An hour or so later Ana was completely relaxed and that interview as the farthest thing from her mind. The only thing on her mind at that point was just how damned addicted she was to Jethro Gibbs. She simply could not get enough of him and just when she thought he'd done all he could to drive her mad he'd kiss or lick or touch her somewhere else and she'd have to revise her thinking. Naturally he had very little to say when they were making love but he certainly communicated very well. Right now he was flat on his back, covered in sweat and wearing a very satisfied expression on his handsome face. Ana lay on her side next to him, one leg between his and her hand ghosting over his chest and abdomen. She loved looking at him and touching him and he certainly didn't mind the attention. Ana fell asleep like that, sprawled out on him, happy and exhausted.

The next morning they left Matthew with Noemi and Jethro drove Ana to the hospital. As she got out of the truck, Jethro kissed her and wished her luck.

"I'll be right here when you're finished. Good luck."

"Thanks. Keep your fingers crossed."

Ninety minutes later Ana came out the door of the hospital and Jethro was right there just as he'd said he would be. She climbed in the truck and gave him a smile.

"Well, how'd it go?"

"Good I think. At least I felt good about it. They said they'd let me know on the fifth, after the holiday. They have four slots to fill and are only interviewing six people so I have a good shot I think."

"It's a done deal. I can feel it. How would you like to get out of this heat and go to the mountains for a few days? A friend of mine has a cabin we can use. It's beautiful up there. And cool."

"That sounds wonderful. When would we go?"

"We can leave this afternoon. Stay a few days and come back for the 4th of July at Ducky's like we planned."

"That sounds perfect. Let's do it."

So that afternoon they loaded the truck with supplies and the three of them went to a cabin in the mountains of West Virginia for four days. The cabin belonged to a State Trooper friend of Jethro's and was the perfect getaway. They hiked in the woods, fished in a small pond on the property and delighted in Matthew chasing butterflies and playing outside all day long. Jethro learned Ana was a very good cook and Ana learned that Jethro was a master on the outdoor grill. A couple of times Ana persuaded Jethro to talk about Jenny's illness and how he coped during those difficult months. Mostly they tried to concentrate on the present and the future. Jethro spoke most freely about his dreams for Matthew and how much he loved being a dad again. That brought up Kelly and Jethro was able to tell Ana about her without his usual reticence. The days went by quickly and soon it was time to head back to DC for the 4th of July celebration at Ducky's. Jethro's NCIS family would be there and he was anxious for them to meet Ana.

Ana enjoyed their time at the cabin but suddenly she was the one who was afraid they were moving too fast. She had never lived with anyone before and in the span of less than a week she was not just visiting Jethro, she was possibly going to be living with him. All this time she had been warning Jethro about moving too fast and now she was beginning to think maybe she was the one who needed to slow down. She found herself wanting some alone time and that surprised her. She had expected to happily spend every minute with Jethro but somehow that didn't feel right now. She knew if she didn't speak up and talk to Jethro about how she was feeling nothing would change and she owed him her honesty.

The night after they got back from the cabin Ana was sitting on the back deck alone while Jethro put Matthew to bed. She was working out in her head what she needed to say to him and how to say it in such a way that she didn't hurt his feelings. She was also just realizing that she was a bit nervous about meeting Jethro's NCIS family. He was excited for her to meet them and Ana knew it was important to him that they like Ana and vice versa. On one level Ana didn't really care if they liked her or not but she certainly wouldn't say that to Jethro. Of course she wanted them to all get along and some day be friends but she didn't feel the need for their approval. Ana knew she needed to be careful what she said tonight because she was feeling very bitchy and felt like she was ready to pick a fight.

Jethro stood at the back door watching Ana for a few minutes before he went to join her. Something was wrong. He felt Ana pulling back from him and he didn't know why. Maybe he'd pushed to hard insisting she stay with him but he simply thought it was silly for her to pay rent on a crappy room somewhere when she had a safe, clean place to stay right here. He also wondered if she was having second thoughts about them and the whole situation. Only one way to find all that out so Jethro pushed open the door and stepped onto the deck.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head and said, "He finally gave up. You come to any decisions out here?"

"About what?"

"Whatever's been on your mind all afternoon and evening. Something's goin' on in that pretty head of yours. Wanna talk about it?"

"Yes and no. I've been sitting out here trying to sort it all out in my head."

"Let me guess. You're afraid we're going too fast. You're having second thoughts about moving. You're feeling pressured or crowded about living here. Am I close?"

Ana looked at him in the dim light of the late evening and reminded herself just how damned observant and intuitive Jethro was about people in general and her in particular.

"Yes. All of the above and it scares me. Maybe I made a rash decision to move out here without talking to you first so we could hash it all out."

"I would have been all for it so I don't think that would have resulted in a different decision. If I'm pushing too hard or too fast I can slow down. If you don't feel comfortable living here I'll help you find a decent place to live. You can stay there while you're working and here on your off days. Or however you want to do it. What I'm saying Ana is that I will do whatever you need me to do so you feel right about being out here."

Ana felt tears stinging her eyes and she was afraid to say anything. Jethro took her silence to mean he needed to keep talking so uncharacteristically he did. But first he scooted up close to her and took her hands in his.

"Ana, I know you've made a major change in your life for us and I don't have the words to tell you how much that means to me. And, I know you didn't come out here expecting to live with me. I have to admit I love the idea but I can understand if you're not ready for that. I've been married twice and I loved it. I love having someone to come home to, someone to wake up with. I enjoy everything that goes with having a woman in my life and I'm ready to have that again. It's not about replacing Jenny, it's about what I want and frankly what I need in my life. I need a partner in my life. I want you to be that partner. That doesn't mean we have to start that right now. I can wait. I will wait. I will give you time to decide if that's what you want. If I'm what you want."

Jethro waited for Ana to respond and he hoped he'd pled his case effectively.

For her part, Ana wasn't quite sure how to respond. She did want her own place at least for a while. She did think they were moving too fast. On the other hand she knew she loved Jethro and she wanted a life with him. She couldn't figure out why she wasn't ready to start that right now but she wasn't. That was what she needed to be able to say.

"Jethro, thank you for being so understanding. Everything you said I'm thinking is true. I do worry that I'm moving too quickly and no, I'm not ready to live with you. I don't want to hurt you. I love you. I think I should get my own place at least for a short time while I get adjusted to being here and the new job and having you so close."

"That's okay. We'll go look for a place day after tomorrow. I want you to be happy and safe. Ana, please don't doubt what you and I have. Don't doubt that we can make a life together and be happy for a long time. Can you tell me you still want that?"

"Yes, I want that. More than anything, I want a life with you but I want us to start with a strong foundation. I know we've been working on that by long distance for almost two years now and I think we're on our way to having that foundation. I absolutely don't doubt my feelings for you or yours for me."

"Is there anything else bothering you? Anything else we need to talk about?"

"No, I don't think so. I'm a little surprised by what you said about liking being married and wanting to have a woman in your life because I thought you really liked being alone."

"There are times when I do prefer to be alone. And I can be alone for long periods of time and be fine with it but I really do prefer to be married. After Shannon died I was alone for a few years and I came to like it. Or at least I thought I liked it. Once I met Jenny though I didn't enjoy being alone quite as much. Having a woman in the house is fun and exciting and sometimes infuriating but I like all that."

"And you like that woman to be close by don't you?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, just a little bit of a surprise. I like that you're a hand holder and a hugger and a toucher."

"Think we could go inside and do a little of all that?"

Ana laughed at him and leaned in to kiss him. They went inside and took advantage of each other until they fell asleep exhausted and happy.

The next morning, Jethro was getting Matthew's backpack ready and Ana was finishing her hair as they prepared to head out for the day at Ducky's house

"Are you sure we shouldn't be taking something to Ducky's?"

"I'm sure. He caters the whole thing from beer to dessert. It's his big blowout for the year."

Matthew was bouncing up and down on Jethro's bed watching the grownups get ready. Ana came from the bathroom and scooped the excited toddler off the bed and into her arms.

"You ready for a party, Mattie?"

"Yes! Go to Ducky house."

Jethro zipped up the backpack and said, "Okay, I think that's everything he could possibly need. Let's get out of here."

In the car Jethro looked over at Ana and reached for her hand.

"You aren't nervous about meeting everyone are you?"

"Not really. Honestly, I don't feel like I need their approval. Do you?"

Jethro was a little surprised by that statement and wasn't sure how to take it. Before he could respond Ana went on.

"I'm sorry that sounded very rude. I just mean, I'm not worried. If for some reason they don't like me I guess I'll deal with it. If they disapprove of our relationship that's their problem. Are you worried for some reason?"

"Lord no! I just meant because they've known me for so long and they knew Jenny I thought you might be a little bit anxious. Of course you don't need their approval and the two of us don't either. For the record my guess is they will be very happy about the two of us. And, of course they will like you. Why wouldn't they?"

"I don't know you're the one who brought it up?"

"Are we in some kind of disagreement about this? Do you not want to do this?"

"No, we're not in a disagreement. And yes, I want to go. You know, maybe I am nervous and I don't know it because I do seem a bit b-i-t-c-h-y about it. I'm sorry."

"You know I just realized I never asked you if you wanted to do this today I just said that's what we were doing. I'm sorry."

"Jethro, this has always been the plan for today from the moment I said when I was coming. I want to go. I want to meet the people who are important to you. I think maybe the whole moving, new job commotion is getting to me. Maybe I just need a beer. Or two."

"Well we can handle that for sure. We'll have fun I promise."

When they arrived the rest of the group was already there. Of course Matthew was the center of attention as soon as everyone saw him. He had walked into the house holding his daddy's hand but as soon as he saw everyone in the backyard he wanted to be picked up. Even though he knew all of Jethro's old team, Mattie was still a bit shy around a lot of people. Abby came over to him and Mattie gave her a smile and let her kiss him on the head.

"You wanna get down and go see Ducky," Jethro asked him.

"Okay."

Jethro put Matthew down and the little boy took off straight for Ducky who was sitting a little ways away

Abby put out her hand and introduced herself to Ana. "Hi, I'm Abby. Welcome, Ana."

"Thank you, Abby. Jethro has told me so much about all of you. It's very nice to put a face to a name."

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the group."

Abby took her by the arm and off they went to meet all the people most important to Jethro. That was the last Jethro saw of Ana for quite a while. He got a beer and then went to sit with Ducky and Matthew while Ana met his old team and they all mingled around the grill and the food table.

"How are things going?"

"Good I guess. Ana said the interview went well. They'll let her know tomorrow if she got the job. If she gets an offer and takes it, she wants to find a room to rent near the hospital instead of living with me right away."

"Makes sense I suppose. Won't be easy to find a place on short notice though. Not one she'd be comfortable in at least. And it certainly won't be cheap."

"I know. I told her we'd go look tomorrow if we hear good news. I really don't think we'll find anything but we'll look. I really want her at the house for several reasons. I think she's feeling a bit crowded or rushed or something."

"Are you crowding or rushing her?"

"Probably."

The two men laughed. Mattie was busy drawing with some markers and paper Ducky had supplied. After about his fifth 'drawing' Matthew slid out of his chair and looked at his daddy.

"Where's Ana?"

"She's over there with Ziva and Abby. You wanna go over there?"

"Yes."

"Okay, go on."

Jethro whistled and when everyone turned to look at him he pointed to Matthew who was charging straight for Ana. She waved at Jethro to let him know she saw the little boy.

"How are those to meshing?"

"Great. Mattie really likes Ana; he has from the first time he met her in Mexico. She loves him I think. That part of the equation is not going to be any problem."

"What is?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe nothing. Ducky do you think it's too soon for me to be so involved with a woman?"

Ducky studied his friend for a long moment.

"No, I do not. However, if you have doubts then perhaps it is too soon."

"I don't doubt my feelings for Ana or the fact that I want a woman in my life. I was happy being married and I want to be again. I want Mattie to have a mom. It just seems too easy you know."

"Jethro, I've watched you for the past two years and I wouldn't say it's been easy for you. Yes, you knew Ana before all this happened with Jenny but maybe that's fate. There is no reason to turn your back on this relationship because it seems ready-made. I'd say it's luck and you deserve some good luck my friend."

Jethro thought about that for a while. He did feel lucky and maybe that was okay. He hadn't been particularly lucky in the last three years except for Matthew coming into his life so maybe having Ana in his life was simply good luck that he should enjoy.

"I like the way you think Duck. Luck. Yes, I think I'll consider it good luck and stop worrying."

"Good idea. Now, let's go see what all the laughter is about over there."

The laughter was about a silly story Tony had told about an old case. Ana felt very accepted in the group and all the anxiety she had been feeling had disappeared almost as soon as Abby introduced her to everyone. She and Abby, though very different personalitities, shared a passion for science so they had that in common. The rest of the group including Tim's girlfriend Delilah and Jimmy's wife Breena, were welcoming and easy to be with. She felt no judgment from them and in fact they all seemed happy to meet her. When Ziva asked how long she was staying she was pleased to be able to tell them about the job possibility and the fact she might be moving there. They all seemed genuinely happy for her and Jethro.

"Well, Gibbs must be ecstatic about that," was Tony's reaction.

"He says he has a gut feeling I'm getting the job."

"Well, his gut is never wrong so I'd say you're about to be living here."

"Congratulations, are you looking for a place or will you be staying with Gibbs?"

"Geez Ziva, get right in there why don't ya?"

"It's okay. I will be looking for a room near the hospital. At least for a while."

"He's not excited about that is he?"

Ziva punched Tony on the arm, "You criticize me?"

Ana laughed, "I don't think he is but he agreed to it. We'll see what happens tomorrow."

Tim spoke up, "Shared living space is hard to come by in DC and very expensive. I don't know about near the hospital but in general it's a pretty tough market."

Once again Tony chimed in, "I bet Gibbs will rent you a room on the cheap."

That earned him another punch in the arm.

"I think you're right, Tony. But, I sort of want my own space for a while at least."

"He practically lives in his basement so he'd probably not know you were there anyway."

Abby jumped in at this point, "He doesn't anymore. Not with Matthew there. Anyway, let's move on, this isn't any of our business and Gibbs will not appreciate us talking about his private life."

"We're talking about my private life and I don't mind. He'll have to live with it."

That comment brought on laughter and one audible gasp when Tony spotted Jethro standing behind Ana.

"What will I have to live with?"

All eyes turned to Ana who simply smiled and turned around to find her favorite blue eyes squinting at her.

"Me talking about us."

"Oh, well I can live with that. Not very interesting but okay."

Then to everyone's astonishment, Jethro leaned down and kissed her. This was a new, relaxed version of the Gibbs they all thought they knew. Matthew interrupted by pulling on his dad's shirttail and asking to be picked up. He'd endured all the adult talking he wanted and now he needed some attention for himself.

"Daddy, go swing."

Ducky had recently installed a small swing set in the yard specifically for when Matthew visited and he was ready to try it out. Jethro broke off the kiss and bent down to his son.

"Okay, let's go swing. You guys carry on."

The rest of the day was much like all their previous gatherings; lots of food and drink and friendly banter. The difference was a little boy playing in the water sprinkler and Ana. Jethro was obviously very much at ease with everyone and Ana found she was as well. They held hands and kissed now and then when they thought no one was paying attention and generally let everyone see they were in love and happy together. At one point Ana found herself in the kitchen with Ziva and Abby. She decided to bring up the elephant in the room; Jenny.

"You two worked with Jenny am I right?"

"Yes, here of course and I worked with her in Europe for a time before I came here."

"I don't know how to say this except straight out. I know I'm stepping into some big shoes and I appreciate your acceptance today."

Abby spoke up, "Ana, you're not filling anyone's shoes. Gibbs isn't like that. He wouldn't get involved with you just to have a replacement for Jenny. Speaking for myself, I'm happy you're here. Gibbs is very important to me and I want him to be happy. You seem like a lovely person, a good fit for him and that's all I care about."

"Abby is right, you are not stepping into Jenny's shoes. Jenny was a very good friend of mine but I will tell you one thing, she was not perfect. She broke Jethro's heart and that is no exaggeration. I know you saw the aftermath of that. Granted they reconciled and her death was tragic but the fact remains that she cheated on him and broke his heart. The fact that he is happy now is what matters to me and Tony and I think, the rest of us. Do not compare yourself to Jenny. You are exactly what Jethro and Matthew need right now."

"Thank you. I guess I needed to hear someone besides Jethro say that. Thank you very much."

In the late afternoon Jethro asked her if she wanted to leave so they could go watch the fireworks on the Mall. That had been the original plan but they were having such a good time and Matthew was so happy there that Ana said no, she would rather stay at Ducky's with the group.

"You sure?"

"Yes, unless you want to go. Won't there be a lot of traffic? And Matthew is having so much fun here. Let's stay here and finish out the day."

Since they were in the house alone Jethro pulled her to him and kissed her thoroughly. Ana got her hands under his shirt and held on tight. Just before things could get out of hand Tony walked in the room.

"Oh geez, it's like catching your parents or something!"

Jethro managed to stifle a groan and said, "You sayin' I'm old?"

"No, just….never mind. Carry on."

He turned around and walked out and Jethro leaned down and resumed where he'd left off. Ana was laughing so hard though the moment was somewhat ruined.

Matthew fell asleep on the couch in Ducky's study while the adults sat outside and listened to fireworks and enjoyed the summer evening. Abby asked Ana to tell them how she and Jethro had first met. Ana told them about Jethro falling through the roof at Mike's cabin and arriving at her clinic in the back of the pickup with a nasty cut on his leg and a badly sprained wrist.

"I was a perfect patient right? Please tell them I was a perfect patient."

Ana looked at him wondering what that was about.

"As far as I know you were. You left in the truck and I didn't see you again for several days. You may have been doing all the wrong things and considering who was allegedly watching you, I'd say that is the most likely scenario."

"Ha! That sounds like the Gibbs we know and love."

"Really? Why's that?"

Ducky jumped into the conversation before Jethro could shut it down.

"Because my dear, our friend here is a notoriously bad patient. In fact if you take a poll of the nurses at the hospital once you're hired, they will tell you that Jethro is well known there and not for his good behavior."

"I see. Well I just might have to do some checking. Another good reason to hope I get the job!"

"Good grief, it was what, two times I was there. Who likes to stay in the hospital? Of course I wanted to leave. What's wrong with that?"

"I think you still had an IV in last time."

"Shut up DiNozzo!"

Everyone laughed and Ana simply made a mental note to check Jethro's medical record some day.

"Thanks for the tip everyone."

"Oh great. Yeah, thanks everyone."

The night was coming to a close and everyone was glad it was a Friday and no one had to work the next day. After they had cleaned up all the trash and put things in their proper place they all said their goodbyes and headed home. While Jethro was putting Matthew in his car seat, Ana gave Ducky a hug goodbye.

"Thank you for a wonderful day, Ducky. I was a bit nervous before we got here but I had a very nice time. Everyone was very welcoming and I feel a part of the group."

"My dear, you are a part of it for better or worse. We are delighted to have you here. Please let me know if you need anything or if Jethro gives you any trouble. I'm an expert on getting him back on track."

"I will remember that. Thanks again."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**Betrayal**

Chapter 22

When they got home Ana carried Mattie to his room while Jethro put away some leftovers Ducky had sent home with them. When he got to Mattie's room Ana already had him in a fresh diaper and some pajamas. She was just tucking him in when his daddy walked in the room.

"Thanks. He's really out. Did he even wake up at all?"

"Nope. Slept right through. Jethro, he's such a sweet little boy. You have done a marvelous job."

"Thanks. How do you feel about helping with that going forward?"

"I expect to and I want to. I love him Jethro. I really do. I'm honored that you want me to be part of his life."

"He should have a mom. I guess that's sort of putting the cart before the horse but that's how I see it for us."

"Me too. But Jethro, we have to be sure about us first. I mean we can't just go into this together thinking we'll see how things go. We have to be sure before we go too much further together. That's another reason I think I should have my own place for a while. I don't want Mattie in the middle of something that doesn't work out for whatever reason."

"Hey, that's not gonna happen. Nothing is going to derail us. I feel it. I know we're moving at a quick pace but Ana, I'm sure about us. I won't change my mind."

"Jethro, things happen. We still don't know each other as well as maybe we should."

"Let's get out of here and finish this in my room."

They left Matthew sound asleep and stepped across the hall into Jethro's bedroom. Jethro pulled Ana down to sit with him on the bed.

"Maybe we don't know everything about each other like favorite colors or something but I know what I need to know about you Ana. I know you're honest and fair and I trust you. You wanted me to be happy at the expense of your own happiness and that tells me a lot about the person you are. You put other people first. You're beautiful and smart and sexy as hell. I know you like it when I kiss you right here (touching his lips to a spot just below her left ear) and when I touch you right here (running his finger down her side). I know I really like waking up with you and seeing my son with you. What else should I know?"

"What about me working all the time? What about more children? What about religion?"

"I know you'll work. You're a doctor for god's sake I don't expect you to sit home. Children with you is a great idea. As for religion, I lost my faith a long time ago but I'm not opposed to the idea of getting it back. I haven't been to church since Shannon and Kelly died. I'd probably need at least an hour in the confessional but I'm not against the idea. Especially if it's important to you."

"Jethro, I have very strong opinions about things. I don't like confrontation but I won't let anyone, including you, run over me. I know how to take care of myself and sometimes I can be too independent. I sort of like things my way. My mother used to say I was spoiled and I can't disagree with that in some areas. I can be hard to get along with sometimes."

"Yeah? Well I can be stubborn and a real bastard sometimes. Just ask Abby or Ziva. I brood and I don't share feelings all that well most of the time. Sometimes I need to be left alone for long periods of time. When I'm with you I'll want to touch you or hold your hand or put my around you. I will want to make love to you every day. I will never hit you or lie to you or betray your trust in me."

"I will always tell you the truth even if the truth is I'm too tired to make love with you. I will never hurt you on purpose. I will always treat Mattie as if he is my own flesh and blood. I will love him no matter what."

Jethro pulled her down on the bed with him and talking was over for the rest of the night. Eventually they got each other undressed and by the time Jethro collapsed next to her Ana had pretty much forgotten all her concerns about their future. She lay there thinking maybe she was being too cautious. Maybe she should just throw caution to the wind and move in with Jethro and get on with their lives. Did she really want to go home to an empty, rented room when this gorgeous, wonderful, sexy man was just a short drive away from work? At the moment the answer to that was a resounding NO! But Ana was a practical woman and she told herself not to make a decision like that in her present condition. So instead she rolled over and laid her head on his chest and fell asleep in his arms.

Ana woke up early the next morning and indulged herself watching Jethro sleep. She never got tired of looking at him; he was handsome and sexy and pretty much everything she had ever wanted in a man. He did come with some baggage but she didn't mind that. Her first impression in the clinic that fateful day had been that he was closed off and almost unkind. Of course she came to learn that second part was not true. He was hurting that day and not just from a fall through the roof. It hadn't taken all that long for Ana to realize there was much more to Jethro Gibbs than what he wanted her to see that first day. Now she knew he was generous and honorable, a wonderful father and a thoughtful lover. Not able to keep her hands to herself any longer, Ana began tracing random patterns on his chest as she leaned down to kiss him good morning.

Jethro woke up to the very nice sensation of Ana's lips on his face and her hands on his chest. Not a bad way to wake up if you asked him.

"Good morning beautiful."

"Hello handsome. Sorry I woke you but I can't seem to keep my hands off you."

"I'm not complaining."

Quite a few kisses later, Ana rolled out of bed mere seconds before the door burst open and a half-awake toddler wandered into the room. Jethro pulled Mattie onto the bed and let him snuggle there for a few minutes. Then he sent him to his room to get some clothes and Jethro scrambled around getting some boxers and shorts on before going to help his son. Ana came out of the bathroom wearing one of Jethro's shirts. Matthew had not seen her in his father's room yet and until she and Jethro talked about how to explain that she didn't want him to. She waited until she heard the boys go downstairs then went to her room.

After breakfast Ana took Mattie out to play in the backyard while Jethro took a shower and got dressed. When they'd been outside for about ten minutes Ana's phone chirped and she held her breath while she answered. She was pushing Mattie in the swing with one hand and holding her phone with the other; her future in the balance. After a few minutes she put her phone away and looked up to see Jethro standing on the deck watching her. She looked at him and smiled and did a little happy dance. He sighed with relief and started toward her finally able to breathe after those agonizingly long minutes watching her on the phone.

"Yes?", he asked just to be sure.

"Yes! Good money and all the bells and whistles I needed. Starting in ten days though so I need to get busy."

"I'm very proud of you and happy for you. And me too."

"I'm happy for us. This means we can actually think about the future and see if we really do like each other as much as we think we do."

"I have no doubts. Tell me what you need to make this happen on time."

"I have to go back home and take care of the business end of the clinic and get Eric squared away there. And pack of course and get things shipped. I don't have much so that won't take long. Oh, Jethro, I'm so happy! I have the job of my dreams and you and Mattie right here. I'm so excited."

"I can tell! Listen we need to celebrate tonight. Just the two of us. Okay?"

"Oooh yes, I'd like that. Can I get dressed up?"

"Absolutely."

Just then Noemi stepped outside and called Jethro to the phone. Ana realized she was still pushing Mattie in the swing but paying no attention to him at all.

"Hey, little man I'm sorry. Are you ready to get out of there?"

"Yes. Can I play in the sand pile?"

"Sure, c'mon let's go."

Ana sat on the side of the sand box and called Eric while she watched Mattie build a road for his trucks. She had to leave a message telling him she'd gotten the job and would be back soon to work out all the business details with him. Then she called the airline to change her flight to the day after tomorrow. Once that was done she turned her attention back to Mattie and helped him build a wall around his trucks. Then they lined up all his soldiers and by that time Jethro was coming out of the house.

"Hey, that was Ziva. There's something at the office I need to go take care of. I should be back in a couple of hours if not sooner. Sorry."

"No, don't worry. We're fine. I changed my flight to day after tomorrow. Go on and I'll see you when you get back."

"Okay. Hey, Mattie, daddy has to go to work for a while. You be a good boy for Ana and Noemi."

"I will. Bye daddy."

Mattie went right on with his trucks and soldiers and Ana stood up to kiss Jethro goodbye. As he left her phone rang and it was Ducky.

"My dear I'm just calling to see how your interview went and if you've heard any news yet."

"Just a few minutes ago, Ducky. I got the job and they want me to start on the 15th. I'm so excited."

"Wonderful. I know Jethro must be very happy as well. Congratulations."

"Yes, he seems pretty happy. He just left to go take care of something at the office. Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Yes, of course."

Ana stepped away from the sand box and sat on the steps of the deck so she could talk without Matthew hearing her conversation.

"Ducky, I think I should find my own place for a while but of course Jethro wants me to live here. What do you think?"

"Can you tell me why you want to live on your own here?"

"I think it's too soon for Jethro and I to live together. Staying here for a couple of weeks on vacation is one thing but living together, working, all that goes into that is too much right now. It's not that I don't love Jethro because I do. And I believe he cares deeply for me. I just want us to be sure, you know?"

"I understand and I must say I tend to agree with you. And I may have a solution to your problem. The problem of finding a decent place that is. I have friends who live not too far from the hospital in big house that has a mother-in-law cottage in the back. It is vacant right now and they would be thrilled to rent it to you for a very reasonable price if you're interested."

"Ducky, you are truly a prince among men. Yes, of course I'm interested. But how did you know?"

"I had dinner with them last night and they mentioned their longtime renter had graduated from Georgetown and moved out last month. Then I remembered a bit of conversation from the other evening at my house and that was that. I was sure you would get the job so I wanted to put your name out there quickly."

"It sounds wonderful. Let me go in the house and get something to write on and I'll take down the address."

Ana found a pad of paper and a pen in the kitchen drawer, stepped back outside and wrote down the name, address and phone number of Ducky's friends.

"I'll call them now and arrange a time to meet them. Will you help Jethro understand why I can't live here yet?"

"I'll try."

"Ducky, do you think Jethro will be ready to love again anytime soon?"

"My dear, I think Jethro loves you now but he's afraid. Jethro doesn't do anything halfway and he loved both Shannon and Jenny with everything he had and both were ripped away from him. Now he has you and he's afraid to let himself believe again. But I saw the way he looked at you and the way he acts with you and believe me, Ana, that man loves you. If you can be patient a bit longer I believe he will realize there's no use fighting it any longer."

"I'm very patient Ducky. I won't give up don't worry. Thank you for talking with me. And especially for finding me a place to live."

"You are welcome on both counts. Good luck."

Ana called the number Ducky had given her and spoke to Barbara Wilson, the owner. She said Ana could see the cottage that evening and they agreed on six o'clock. Mattie was getting tired of playing by himself so he wandered onto the deck to see what Ana was doing.

"Mattie, would you like to go to the park?"

"Yes!", was the enthusiastic reply.

"Okay, let's get some water bottles and then we'll go."

Ana told Noemi they would be back for lunch then she and Mattie walked down the block to the neighborhood park. They played on the swings and the slides and had fun for almost an hour before they decided it was time to head home. After washing hands and faces they found Noemi in the kitchen with lunch almost ready.

As Matthew started on his lunch, Noemi offered Ana her congratulations on the new job.

"Thank you, Noemi. I'm very excited about the job and about being here."

"Will you be staying here with Jethro?"

"Not yet. I think I need to live on my own for a while. I know Jethro may not agree but he'll have to adjust."

"Yes, he will. He can do that. But you should know, he is very happy with you, Ana. I have watched him over the past two years of course and it has taken a long time for him to smile again. Except for Matthew, there was not any happiness for Jethro until you came back into his life. Now, I think he will be happy again."

"Oh I hope so. I love him very much, Noemi. I hope you know that."

"Yes, I can see you do. Can you wait for him to catch up?"

"I sure can. I don't plan to let him get away don't worry."

"Good. Now, I am going to the grocery store. I will be back soon."

"Take your time. I'll be here all day."

As Ana and Mattie were finishing lunch Jethro came home and stepped into the kitchen.

"Hi, we just finished. Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

Jethro leaned down and kissed Mattie on the head then lifted him into his arms.

"You been a good boy?"

"Yes."

"He is a very good boy. Tell daddy where we went."

"To the park. We did swings and the slide and ran around."

"Wow, sounds like fun. Anything else good happen?"

"As a matter of fact it did."

Ana started telling him about Ducky's call and by the time she was finished she was nearly dancing around the kitchen she was so excited. He wasn't smiling she noticed so she stretched up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey Mattie, look how happy Ana is to be leaving us."

"Jethro Gibbs! What a terrible thing to say to him!"

"It's true though."

Ana wasn't sure if he was serious or not but it hurt her feelings anyway. Jethro was just a bit serious and he didn't do a good job of concealing his disappointment. He had hoped they wouldn't find a place and Ana would stay with them. It appeared though that his most trusted friend had dashed those hopes.

"You didn't want me to find anything today did you?"

"I haven't made any secret of the fact I want you to stay here."

"I seem to recall you saying you would be okay with my plan and support me. You are not doing that right now."

Ana was calm and her voice was quiet but Jethro definitely heard the sharp edge in there. This was very different from having a disagreement with Jenny. Those almost always got loud quickly and stayed loud for a while. He wasn't sure he could argue with someone who never got loud and demanding. Although, he kinda liked this not getting yelled at. Or rather being quietly yelled at if that made any sense.

Finally he smiled at her and shook his head. "You're right. I'm sorry. This is good news because Ducky wouldn't steer you to a place that wasn't safe. And I do remember saying I wanted to you to happy and safe. Give them a call and let's go see the place. Then we can go shopping for whatever else you need. Okay? Am I forgiven?"

"Yes, of course you are. You are much too handsome for me to stay mad at you for long. And, I've already called and we can see the cottage at six this evening."

"That's perfect. Then we can go to dinner."

Jethro held Mattie in front of him and said, "Guess who's coming to stay with you tonight?"

"Abby!"

"No, Ziva and Tony."

"Yeah. I love Tony. And Ziva."

"I know you do. Daddy and Ana are going out to dinner so you can stay here with them okay?"

"Okay."

"I think you need some dry pants and maybe a short nap. Let's go upstairs and take care of that."

"Ana come too."

"Yes, she can come if she wants to."

"I'll be there in a minute. Let me put this lunch stuff away."

Mattie wanted to go on his own so the trip up the stairs took a few minutes. Going up and down the stairs was one of the things that always provoked an "I do it!" from Mattie. He was very capable on the stairs but it was slow going on the way up. Coming down he was much quicker because he just sat down and scooted on his bottom. As usual Jethro demonstrated a degree of patience with this ordeal that would have astounded his old team. Jethro only very rarely lost patience with Matthew. He was constantly reminded that he had missed a lot of Kelly's growing up and he didn't want to waste Mattie's being in a hurry or inattentive.

Jethro put a dry pull-up on Mattie and a clean shirt. The he plopped him down on Jethro's bed with some books while he went to the bathroom to wash his hands. While he was in the bathroom Mattie sat on the bed and looked at his books. This was their routine when they were home alone and Mattie never ventured off the bed even when he was just a baby he'd stay there until his daddy came back. Ana came in as Jethro was standing in the bathroom watching Mattie and drying his hands. Ana sat down with Mattie and he immediately thrust a book a her and said, "Read a story, Ana".

"Hey, how 'bout you ask nicely, little boy," came his father's voice from the doorway.

Mattie looked at him and then at Ana. "Please read a story, Ana."

"Much better."

"Of course, I'd love to read a story."

After three stories Mattie gave up and fell asleep on his dad's bed. Jethro carried him to his own room then met Ana downstairs.

"Jethro I want to explain to you why I need to live on my own here at least for a while."

"Okay."

"I know we care for each other and we know each other fairly well. I know I love you and I want us to be together eventually. But right now I think it's best if we live apart and give ourselves some more time to really know each other. We have only been together, really together, under difficult circumstances or on one vacation or another. I want us to know each other when work is stressing me out, or when you're frustrated with a job or with Mattie. I want us to go out to dinner together, go places, do things that other couples do. I'm not saying I don't want to be with you because I do but I want us to be absolutely sure what we're doing. And, I want you to have all the time you need to be ready to fall in love again."

Jethro listened intently to everything she said. He never took his eyes off her face. He wanted to argue and right until she said that last thing he was prepared to do so. Then he heard what she said at the end and he realized she knew him much better than he'd thought she did. He had to admit he wasn't ready to fall in love again. He'd never been able to really put his finger on what was holding him back because he did feel like he loved Ana. He knew for sure he didn't want to lose her but now he knew he hadn't let himself fall in love with her.

"Okay."

That was all he could manage because he was so overcome with the emotions that were swirling around in his head he thought he might cry. That was something he hadn't done in a long time and he didn't really want to go there now.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah. I think so. For right now."

He reached for her and pulled her against himself and held on tight. Ana suddenly understood. She'd struck a nerve and Jethro was having trouble taking it all in.

"Are you okay", she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Yes. Just want to hold you."

"Works for me."

Eventually he let her go and kissed her.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I understand what you're saying and I'm fine with it. As long as the place is good and you're safe there. I'm sure it's wonderful or Ducky wouldn't suggest it. My only stipulation is I want you to stay here on your days off and call every night when you get home. Ana, you have to know you are very important to me."

"Oh Jethro I know that. You show me that in many ways. I have no doubts about you and I. None at all."

That evening Ziva showed up at five thirty and said Tony was going to be there later. He was bringing pizza which got Mattie pretty excited. For a little guy not even three yet he loved pizza. Jethro was in the kitchen with Ziva and Mattie waiting for Ana to come down.

"You look very handsome tonight my friend."

"Thanks. Ana wanted to get dressed up for dinner."

"Where are you taking her?"

"Rooftop Grill. Tony's recommendation of course."

"It is very nice. Dancing?"

"Could be. We are celebrating after all."

"Jethro, I am so happy to see you happy again."

"Thank you. It's been a struggle and some days it still is. Ana seems to get that and says she can wait for me. I sure hope so."

"She will. She loves you."

At that moment Ana appeared in the doorway and Jethro stopped talking. She was wearing a peachy colored dress held up by tiny straps and clinging to all the right places. She had put her hair back on one side and she looked like a dream to Jethro.

"Wow, you look fabulous. Beautiful."

"Thank you. You look very handsome Mr. Gibbs."

"My you two make a very stunning couple. Go on now and have a good time."

"Bye, Mattie. Be good for Ziva and Tony."

"I will."

Jethro and Ana both kissed Mattie goodnight and Jethro ushered her out the door. When they were on the porch Jethro stopped and pulled her in for a kiss.

"I couldn't wait any longer for that. You take my breath away doctor."

"Thank you."

Jethro handed Ana the Jeep keys and said, "Here, consider these yours for as long as you need them. Or forever. Why don't you drive so you'll know the way."

"Thank you."

Ana got in and situated the seat and mirrors for herself and loaded the address into the car's navigation system.

"Jethro, this is very nice are you sure you don't drive it?"

"Hardly at all. I like the truck. So does Mattie."

Ana found the house with no trouble and they met the owners, George and Barbara, who of course were thrilled to have such a responsible person renting in their backyard. The cottage was perfect for Ana. It was cozy and clean and the location was good. It came furnished with comfortable furniture and a good bed. The rent was almost nothing and they agreed to a six month lease. Apparently Ducky had told them it would be short term and they were agreeable to that.

"It's perfect. Are you sure six months is alright?"

George told them, "We may be selling after the first of the year. I'm retiring and we're planning to downsize. So, yes six months will be perfect for us. We could go month-to-month after that if necessary."

After the rental agreement was signed Jethro and Ana did a more thorough inventory to see what she needed to buy before she moved in. The cottage was fully furnished including linens and towels and kitchen supplies. It was a most wonderful find and Ana couldn't wait to see Ducky and thank him for his help.

They took a drive around the neighborhood so Ana could get oriented to the area then Ana found her way to the hospital and back and then they headed to dinner. Ana let Jethro drive since he knew where they were going and she didn't of course.

The restaurant was elegant and the food was delicious and Ana thought she was with the most handsome man in the place. Jethro was a perfect gentleman of course and Ana felt like she was in a dream. After dinner they went to the lounge next door to listen to music and finally Jethro asked her to dance. The music was soft and slow and Ana was delighted to learn that her lover was a very good dancer. Being in his arms, moving to the music, Ana had never had a more romantic night.

When they got home is was almost midnight. Tony and Ziva were asleep on the couch. Jethro touched Tony on the shoulder to wake him. He knew better than to shake Ziva awake; that could be dangerous.

"Hey, Boss how was dinner?"

"Excellent just as you said it would be. Thanks."

"Yes, thank you Tony for the recommendation. We had a wonderful time. How was your evening?"

"No trouble. Matthew was a good boy of course. He had a bath and then he let Tony read him a story. It was very cute."

"Thanks for staying with him. We appreciate it."

"Yes, we do. Thank you both."

"No problem. We're outta here."

When they were alone Jethro wasted no time letting Ana know just how glad he was to have her all to himself.

"I really like that dress but I think I'll like it more when it's on the floor. Or the chair if you prefer."

"Yes, I would prefer the chair. I would also very much like to get you out of this very nice suit."

Ana had her hands on his chest and she leaned into him kissing him on the chin. Jethro's hands were busy taking her hair down and moving them toward the stairs. They made it to the bedroom and just as Jethro was about to relieve her of her dress a small voice called out from the room across the hall.

"Daddy."

Jethro sighed and let his head fall forward. "You have got to be kidding me."

Ana smiled at him and kissed him quickly on the mouth. "The joy of being a parent."

"Daddy."

"I'll be back. Don't do anything yet okay?"

"I'll be right here."

Jethro went to Mattie's room and let him know he was home and everything was fine. He sat on the bed with him for a few minutes and then tucked him back under the covers. Mattie was back to sleep before Jethro got out the door. When he got back to his room Ana was exactly where he'd left her.

"Now, where was I?"

"About to get me out of this dress I believe."

"Yeah. Before I do that I just want to say you looked beautiful tonight. You were the loveliest woman in the place. I had a great time tonight. And, we're not through yet."

"Thank you. I believe I was with the best looking, sexiest man in the place and I had the best time I've ever had."

"Enough talking."

That was indeed the end of talking for quite a while. There were definitely some exclamations of delight and desire in the next hour or so but no real conversation to be sure. The whole evening had been an exercise in romantic foreplay and by the time the dress and the suit and all the other garments were shed, there was little interest in any talking. Jethro indulged himself in exploring every single inch of the woman who was slowly but surely driving him mad with desire. Ana had no idea she could enjoy someone as much as she did Jethro. She simply could not get enough of him but she surely tried that night. By the time they fell asleep tangled in the sheets and each other it was nearly two o'clock.

The next day was spent at home enjoying each other and playing in the yard with Mattie. He had a wading pool and loved being in it so they spent most of the afternoon in the backyard. Ana was on the phone on and off making arrangements about the clinic and talking to various persons in town. She was also making lists of things she had to get done in the short time she would be in Mexico.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, I just have a lot of organizing to do. It will all work out. There is a lot to do in a short amount of time."

"Can I help with anything? I could go with you if you want."

Ana thought about that for a minute and said, "That would be fabulous. Are you sure you can take the time?"

"Yeah. I'm on vacation the rest of this week anyway and I can take a few more days. Can you check on getting me on your flight? I might leave Mattie here with Noemi if she can do it."

"That might be best. This will need to be a quick trip and we'll be busy. Mike won't be happy though and he could watch Matie you know."

"Yeah, I guess. How long do you think we'll be there?"

"Maybe three days. Four at the most. I want to have a few days here before I start work. Let's take him."

"Okay."

That evening Ana and Jethro sat outside after Mattie was in bed and talked about lots of things including some of their recent past. Ana asked Jethro if he was happy with his job or if he missed NCIS. After seeing him with his old team she was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question.

For the first time Jethro spoke honestly about leaving the job he loved.

"I miss it. I wasn't planning to leave and I didn't want to so things didn't end the way they should have. In a way I regret that part of my decision. In fact there is a lot about how I handled the situation that I regret. If I had stayed and confronted Jenny and dealt with it I'd probably still have my job. On the other hand, the rest of it would have ended the same way and I'd be sitting here by myself. I wouldn't have you. So if the only thing that would have been different in the end would be I'd still have my job but not have you, I'm glad things worked out like they did."

"Thank you Jethro. But, I imagine your team and Ducky would have stepped up and helped with Mattie. And you have Noemi. You would have made it work."

"Maybe but Tony wasn't kidding about me being at Washington Trauma a few times. And I wasn't there for some routine problem. I was in the ER or the ICU. I couldn't risk that happening again with Mattie in the mix. It's better that I'm not a field agent anymore."

Ana didn't fail to notice the tone of sadness and regret in that last statement but she didn't press the point. After all she didn't want to see Jethro coming through the doors of the ER either. She did worry though about him not being satisfied with his present job.

Later, after they'd gone in the house, Jethro went up check on Mattie and returned to the living room with a small gift box in hand. He sat down next to Ana on the couch and handed her the box.

"What's this?"

"Just a little token to remind you to come back here every now and then."

Ana opened the box to find her very own house key. To Jethro it might only be a token but to Ana it was very important.

"Thank you Jethro. I understand and I will come back quite often I assure you. You don't need to worry about that. For one thing I'll need a good meal every now and then from Noemi."

"That all?"

"Hardly. I'll need some of Mattie's hugs and of course some from you as well."

"There will be plenty of both waiting for you anytime. You nervous about starting work?"

"A little bit. Just getting used to a new routine makes me a little nervous. Sick or injured people are the same everywhere and the medicine will be the same it's just a matter of getting oriented to this particular hospital. I'm ready though; anxious to get started in a few days."

"How long you think you'll have the 3-11 shift?"

"Ben said two weeks then I'll get 11-7 for a while then rotate again. I prefer 11-7 because it's usually busier and that makes the time go by faster."

"Days off?"

"Thursday and Sunday the first week and I don't know going forward. I'll send you my schedule as soon as I have it. I plan to come here the night before my day off and then spend the off day here if that's okay."

"Perfectly. Will you call me when you get home every day just so I know you're okay?"

"Sure. Will you come have lunch or dinner with me sometimes?"

"I will. Will you come upstairs with me now and let me show you how very much I'm going to miss you when you're living in that cute little cottage.?"

"You know I think I'd like that."

"I sure hope you do."

So upstairs they went and Ana did like it very much. Jethro liked it just fine too.

Ana had managed to get both Jethro and Mattie on her flight so the three of them left for Mexico the next afternoon. They were able to rent a car at the airport and by the time they got to El Rosario they were all exhausted. Once again Matthew had been an ideal traveler. Jethro had alerted Mike they were coming and he and Mattie would be staying with him. Ana wanted to be in her old apartment to get things organized and cleaned before leaving it to Eric who was taking over her lease. She told Jethro to go on to Mike's and let her get busy with things she had to do herself. He grudgingly agreed and said he'd come back the next afternoon to help.

Jethro and Mattie arrived at Mike's place that night exhausted and hungry. Luckily Mike had stocked up on cereal as well as lunch meat and beer so they both had something to eat and pretty soon after that Mattie was sound asleep. Mike and Jethro sat on the porch and talked for a hour or so before Jethro went off to join Mattie. Jethro told Mike about Ana's new job and that she would be living on her own for a few months while they tried to act like a normal couple.

"I think that's probably a good idea, Probie."

"I guess. I mean, I don't blame her. We haven't exactly come at this from a normal direction. And god knows I'm no prize right now. I mean, I'm getting there but some days I'm still a wreck. I don't want to screw this up, Mike."

"Then don't. Just take your time and when it's right you'll know it. Ana isn't going to give you any ultimatums or deadlines. If she was going to do that she'd have already booted your ass out."

"I know that's right. She said she knows I care for her but I'm not ready to fall in love again. She's right. I hadn't figured it out but she did."

"Just stick with her and you'll be fine. From what you say it sounds like Mattie's already in love."

"Oh yeah, he loves her. And I think she loves him. I'm the one holding up the whole deal."

"Jethro, just relax and enjoy what you have and don't try to force anything more. It'll come in time. When you're ready she'll be right there."

"I sure hope you're right."

Everything went smoothly for Ana in terms of handing the clinic management over to Eric. A local attorney had drawn up the necessary paperwork and it was all signed the second day Ana was there. She packed up her few personal belongings and Jethro took them to the post office to be shipped to his house. Once the apartment was cleaned and her office at the clinic cleared of her personal effects Ana was ready for a day at the beach. Everything she couldn't take on the plane had been packed and shipped off to Virginia. She would pay for two extra bags on the plane but that couldn't be helped; she wanted her clothes there when she got back.

As they were leaving the clinic for the last time Ana said, "I hate to leave my desk behind. I love it so."

"Would cost more to ship it back than it's worth. I'll build you a new one."

"You will?"

"Sure. I checked on having it shipped and it just isn't practical. The old thing probably wouldn't survive the trip anyway."

"Okay. I'll settle for you building me a new one. Some day. No hurry for that right now."

Their last day was spent at the beach with Mike. They played in the water and on the sand and had a wonderful, relaxing day. That night Ana stayed at the cabin so Mattie slept on a pallet on the floor. They left the next morning headed back to DC and the next chapter in their complicated love affair.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

**Betrayal**

Chapter 23

Ana spent a couple of days with Jethro then moved to the cottage to get settled and ready to go back to work. She was excited and nervous and ready to get back in the swing of things. She was also excited about how she and Jethro would work things out. She was looking forward to having a relationship with him just a few miles away instead of clear across the country. The idea of actually "dating" him was exciting and she thought it was exactly what he needed to feel ready to move forward with her in the right way; not just grasping at the first person he found but really allowing himself to fall in love with her. Ana had every confidence that would happen.

Finally the day came and Ana went to work on a Monday afternoon and although the first couple of hours were quiet the day quickly got busy after five o'clock and stayed that way most of the shift. Ana went home to the little cottage exhausted but happy to be back at work. She loved being a doctor and being an ER Trauma doctor was what she loved most of all. She slept very well that night.

Once Ana was back at work she and Jethro settled into a routine that seemed to be comfortable for all involved. Ana spent her days off at Jethro's and they had lunch or dinner together a couple of times a week. When they were together they laughed a lot and talked and their sex life was wonderful. Ana was enjoying working and being with Jethro and also being on her own to some extent. She knew there would come a time in the next several months when she would have to decide about either living with Jethro fulltime or not. She fully expected to move in with him after her lease was up assuming he still wanted that to happen. For now, everything was great for both of them.

Fall arrived and Ana was thrilled with the change of seasons; something she never experienced in San Diego or Baja. She spent one of her days off shopping for cool weather clothes and a jacket. She was looking forward to some cold nights in front of the fireplace with Jethro.

One night in late September she was talking to one of the nurses during a slow stretch and the nurse, Delores, asked her what prompted her to move from San Diego all the way out to DC. Ana had only met Delores the previous week and they hadn't worked together much because Delores had been working in the ICU for the previous month covering for someone else. Ana liked Delores and thought she was one of the best ER nurses she'd ever worked with.

"I actually moved out here to be closer to a man I'm involved with."

"Ooh that sounds like a good story. Tell me about this guy. Unless that's none of my business that is."

"No, I'm happy to tell you. I met him in Baja about three years ago. He was married at the time though so nothing happened. I fell pretty hard. Then his wife died of cancer about a year after we met and later we stayed in touch through a mutual friend there. One thing led to another and I decided I needed to be closer to him so we could see if things work out."

"And are things working out?"

"Seem to be."

"This man have a name?"

"Sure. His name's Jethro."

Delores set her coffee down and fixed her eyes on Ana. Things were clicking in her head and pieces were falling into place and she suddenly knew exactly who Ana's man was.

"Jethro Gibbs?"

"Yes. How did you know that?"

"Because I happen to know Special Agent Gibbs. And, there aren't many Jethros around these days and I know his wife died a while ago."

Ana couldn't fail to notice the smile on Delores' face and the gleam in her eye when she said she knew Jethro.

"Spill it Delores. How do you know Jethro?"

"Honey, I've seen every inch of your man I'm sorry to say. He was a patient of mine in the ICU a few years back. Not a very good patient either once he was conscious."

"Yes, I've heard he's not a fan of the hospital."

"That's an understatement. He was in bad shape when I got him in the ICU. Been shot and lost a lot of blood. Tough though and he pulled through obviously. He didn't like being here but he wasn't really a bad patient. Just wanted to go home."

"I know I shouldn't ask but what about his wife?"

"Director Shepard? She was nice enough. Sure kept him in line I'll say that. She had a fiery kind of style; went with her red hair I guess. She was beside his bed for two days straight waiting for him to wake up."

Delores looked up and saw Jethro approaching the nurse's station.

"Well speak of the devil look who's here."

Ana turned around to see Jethro walking toward them. Delores stepped out from behind the desk and stood waiting for Jethro.

"Well look with the cold weather brought in. Agent Gibbs you look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

"Hello, Dee. Gosh you look the same. Maybe even better."

Jethro gave Delores a hug and she hugged him back.

"What're you doing here this time of night?"

"Lookin' for a doctor friend."

Delores laughed and stepped aside so Jethro could see Ana sitting behind the high counter of the nurses' station.

"You mean this doctor?"

"I sure do. Dee you haven't been telling tales about me have you?"

"Not yet but I'm sure over the course of time we'll get around to it."

Ana came around and Jethro pulled her close with an arm around her shoulders. He kissed her on the side of the head.

"Don't listen to anything bad she has to say about me. I was her favorite patient. Right Dee?"

"Pretty close. You two go on and get some dinner before the rush starts."

"Good to see you Dee. Take care of this one for me."

"You don't need to worry about Dr. Ana. She takes care of herself. But, I'll keep an eye on her. You better treat her right Gibbs."

"I intend to."

As the months passed everything was going very well for Ana and Jethro. Matthew was growing like a weed and becoming more and more attached to Ana. He was still very much a daddy's boy but sometimes he would ask Ana to read a story or give him his bath. Jethro thought these were good developments and he was pleased that Ana wanted to spend her free time at home with Mattie even when Jethro was at work. Ana was very happy at the hospital and had quickly established herself as a confident and very capable doctor. She was always cool under pressure and had a wonderful way of calming even the most terrified or difficult patients.

The weeks quickly passed and turned into months and before they knew it the holidays were upon them. Because she was one of the doctors with the least seniority, Ana was scheduled to work on Thanksgiving Day. Ducky invited Jethro to his house for dinner but Jethro declined saying he would be taking Matthew to the hospital to eat with Ana.

"In that case, if she's not working why don't the three of you come over on Friday for leftovers? That is always better than the first serving anyway."

"That sounds good. Ana is off on Friday so we'll be there. What time?"

"Come for a late lunch if you like. Say around one o'clock."

"Thanks Duck. We'll be there."

Lunch with Ducky was a treat for all of them and Ana enjoyed the afternoon very much. Somehow turkey at the hospital cafeteria just hadn't been all that satisfying. And, as Ducky had said, leftovers were often better than the dinner the day before. They ate a wonderful lunch and let Mattie handle the entertainment which he did quite well. Most of the time Mattie followed his father's example and had little to say, but when Ducky started telling a story and including Mattie in the narrative the little boy joined right in as if he knew what he was talking about. He could go back and forth with Ducky and had everyone chuckling along with him.

"You know, he's quiet like you Jethro but when he gets going I believe he is every bit the talker his mother was."

"Oh lord, please don't let that be true!" Jethro said it with a laugh but he was just a tiny bit serious.

"Sometimes he doesn't say anything all day and then another day he'll be using words I've never heard him say before. Not seeing him every day I really notice he's learning new words all the time."

"Yeah, Noemi is speaking to him in Spanish and English. Teaching him his colors and numbers and the names of his toys in both. I guess that's a good idea."

"It's a wonderful idea. His brain is like a sponge at this age; soaking up everything he sees and hears. Does he speak Spanish with her?"

"Some. Hell, half the time I can't understand what he's sayin' so I don't know if it's English or Spanish or a combination."

"I know one thing, all the nurses sure loved him yesterday. Delores talked about him all evening after you two left. She said he looks exactly like his daddy which is true of course."

"Delores is still there? Wasn't she the ICU nurse for you the last time you were there?"

"She was."

"Delores is one of the best nurses I've ever worked with. She's incredible really."

"She was an angel in disguise for me that's for sure."

"And as I recall she didn't put up with any of your complaining."

"No she certainly did not."

Later in the afternoon as Ana was helping Ducky get some dessert ready Ducky asked her, "How does Jethro seem to you lately? I mean is he alright?"

"Honestly Ducky we've both been so busy we haven't seen much of each other. Today is the first time we've spent any time together in almost a month. Why? What's got you asking?"

"Just a feeling I get. He seems a bit withdrawn lately. Probably just the season. He's not much for the holidays as you know."

That wasn't at all what Ducky thought but he didn't want to worry Ana so he didn't elaborate on what his true concerns were.

"Well, he's got a little one now so he'll have to get into the spirit at least a little bit. I'll keep an eye out for whatever might be a problem."

December brought some ugly weather and even uglier cases to the emergency room. Ana was working overtime several days a week and even extra days due to staff illness coupled with a rash of shootings in the District. Seems not everyone had the Holiday spirit. Unfortunately, that included Jethro. Ana knew well that he wasn't much of a holiday person but she hadn't experienced it in person until now. He tried to get into the fun for Matthew's sake but it was an effort and he wasn't very successful. Thankfully, Mattie was still too young to understand that his father was a Scrooge when it came to Christmas.

What Ana didn't know was that Jethro was beginning to worry that she wasn't going to move in with him in January. He worried that she wouldn't and then the next day he worried that she would. He wanted her to live with him one day and the next he told himself he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. It was probably a good thing Ana was working so much because it kept her from seeing that Jethro was slowly sinking into a place he hadn't been in for a very long time. He began to spend nights in the basement and although he never got drunk at home he was drinking more than usual. Jethro recognized what was happening but he felt powerless to help himself. That of course made him angry with himself and he began to question everything about his life. He didn't realize it but Jenny's death was finally catching up to him. The only saving grace was Matthew.

Of course Matthew was also a reminder of Jenny and Jethro didn't need any reminders. Jethro would sit in his son's room at night and watch him sleep for hours. A couple of times he woke up in the morning after having slept all night on the floor beside Mattie's bed. When he was watching his son sleep all Jethro could think about was Jenny and how cheated he felt by her death. He loved Matthew and wanted to be a good father but he wondered if he had what it would take to be the father Jenny had thought he would be.

One night after Ana called to say goodnight Jethro pulled one of Jenny's journals out of the drawer where he kept all her letters to Matthew and sat down to read it. This one was written just a few weeks before Jenny died. Jethro poured himself a measure of bourbon and opened the book. He skimmed the pages barely reading most of them until he came to a page near the end that caught his eye. By the time this was written Jenny's handwriting was beginning to show how weak she had become but he could still read it clearly.

 _I'm sitting up in bed writing this while I watch Jethro feeding our precious, miracle baby Matthew. Seeing the two of them together fills my heart with equal parts joy and sadness. No, that's not right. The joy is much greater than the sorrow. I could never have imagined loving someone as much as I have loved Jethro all these years but that tiny little boy has proven me very wrong. How can I love two people so much? The idea of leaving them crushes me. I know Jethro will grieve terribly when I am gone but Matthew will never know the difference. Jethro will tell him about me I know, but he will never really feel the love I have for him. That makes me sad. And that is why I hope eventually Jethro will find someone to love who will love my Mattie._

 _Jethro, I know you will read this some day so pay attention to what I'm about to say. I want Matthew to have a mother who will love him as I would have. Someone who will soften the blows of life he will have to face. Someone who will teach him about art and music and the beautiful things in life. You must teach him to play baseball and build things and sail and ride a horse but a mother can teach him many important things as well. I want Matthew to have someone to love as you loved your sweet mother. Please don't think you are betraying me when you find a woman to love who will love Mattie. I want you to be happy Jethro. Happy with a woman who loves you and who you can love in return. I have a feeling there is such a person already in your life. Don't wait too long to reach out to her. Don't expect her to be me. Don't ask her to be me. Let her be who she is and let her love you as she will. And let yourself love her if that's what it comes to._

Jethro closed the book and set it aside. He swallowed his bourbon and closed his eyes and let the tears come. He could very clearly hear Jenny's voice in his head. He could see her sitting on their bed that day watching him with Matthew. He remembered it as if it was yesterday. Jenny had closed the book and put it in the drawer when he brought Matthew to her. Together they had sat on the bed and cuddled their son and watched him fall asleep in his mother's arms. Now Jethro marveled anew at Jenny's strength; she was writing to him to find a new love as she sat watching him and their son knowing she was dying and had little time left. Even then she was thinking about his happiness and his future. Jethro wondered if he'd ever be able to live up to her dreams for him to be truly happy. And, he wondered what was keeping him from doing just that.

Through a quirk in the scheduling Ana had an entire weekend off the second weekend of December. That meant when she went home Friday night she didn't have to go back until eleven o'clock on Monday night. She had been away from Jethro and Mattie for five days now and when she had last been home she had been so exhausted she'd slept most of the time. Jethro had been supportive but she could tell he worried about her and didn't like that she was gone so much. Such was the life of a trauma doctor she told him and he said he understood but there was an air of tension between them that Ana had never experienced before. She had high hopes for their unexpected luxury of an entire weekend together.

The weather was almost perfect the entire weekend. Temperatures were mild and there was abundant sunshine. Ana managed to cajole Jethro into Christmas tree shopping on Saturday morning and the three of them had a great time. Of course a tree needed lights and decorations so that was their second stop. Matthew needed a new winter coat as he had rather suddenly outgrown his so they made stop at Kohls and both Mattie and Ana got new coats. By now it was lunch time so they went to Jethro's favorite diner then home so Mattie could take a much needed nap.

Ana got Mattie settled with some stories and before long he was asleep. When she got back downstairs Jethro had the tree in a stand in the entryway. They rearranged some furniture and got the tree situated.

"If you will get us a fire going I'll get all the decorations out. I know it's not really cold enough for a fire but I'd sure like to cuddle on the couch with you."

"Then by all means let's have a fire."

Once the fire was going Ana ran upstairs to change into some sweats and when she returned Jethro was ready for the cuddling to begin. Of course cuddling led to kissing and touching and lots more kissing and then the past few weeks caught up to Ana and she fell asleep in Jethro's strong embrace. He kissed her hair and settled down to watch the fire and take a nap of his own comforted by the knowledge that Ana would be there tonight and they could pick up where they'd left off when she fell asleep.

When the adults woke up from their nap Mattie was coming down the stairs trailing his blanket and looking as if he hadn't been awake for more than a minute. He crawled up on the couch with his daddy and Ana.

"Hey buddy, did you have good nap?"

"Yes. Ana take a nap."

"She sure did. You wanna help us decorate the tree?"

"Okay."

Ana pulled Mattie onto her lap and kissed his forehead. The little boy laid his head on her chest and let her hug him.

"I love you Mattie."

"Love you Ana."

Jethro watched this interaction and for the millionth time asked himself what was holding him back from loving Ana completely. He knew she loved them and he knew he didn't want to go looking for another woman so what was his problem? Jenny had told him plainly and often that she wanted him to love again and find someone to love Matthew. Ana loved Matthew and she loved him. And, Jethro was pretty sure he loved Ana. He'd said he did and he'd meant it at the time. Most days he still did but for some reason he was stuck. He couldn't let go of his emotions and give himself completely to this beautiful, sweet, loving woman. Something was definitely wrong with him and he knew he needed to figure out what it was and fix it or Ana would be gone and he'd have only himself to blame.

"Okay you two, we have to get off this couch if that tree's gonna get decorated. C'mon buddy, let's get you a dry pull-up and some clothes and we'll get started."

Matthew jumped down and pulled on Ana's hand, "Get up Ana. Let's get cookies."

"Who said anything about cookies? I said dry pants and clothes."

"But I want cookies."

Ana laughed and leaned over to kiss Jethro.

"How can you resist that face? I think we have some cookie squares in the fridge. I'll get them going while you guys get dressed. Okay?"

"C'mon daddy."

Now Mattie was pulling on his daddy's hand urging him to get up. Instead Jethro tackled Ana onto her back on the couch and kissed her again. That looked like fun so Mattie climbed on his daddy and kissed him. Everyone laughed and the kissing and fun continued until finally Ana had to get up.

"Alright you two boys, I need to get up so we can have cookies. And decorate the tree."

She put her hands on Jethro's face and smiled at him and said, "we will continue this later."

"Yes, we surely will. Okay, c'mon little man."

Jethro swept Mattie onto his shoulders and took him upstairs. Ana stood watching them and felt so much love in her heart she thought she might cry. She had missed Jethro these past few weeks and she wanted desperately to be with him forever. Ducky's words on Thanksgiving Friday came back to her and she wondered what he'd really been asking her. Was Jethro rethinking his desire to have her live with them? He hadn't asked her about moving and her lease was up the middle of January. She banished all questions and negative thoughts from her mind and focused on enjoying this weekend. There would be time for worry later.

They spent an hour or so decorating the tree and then they all took a walk before supper. After they'd eaten, Jethro relit the fire and spent some time playing on the floor with Mattie while Ana did laundry and read through some medical journals on the couch. Watching Jethro and Mattie build towers and race trucks around the living room she knew she was exactly where she wanted to be. Jethro seemed perfectly relaxed and happy. She couldn't imagine anything that would tear them apart.

It took Mattie a long time to wind down and go to bed that night much to his father's frustration. Jethro was beyond anxious to get Ana alone in the bedroom and make up for all the lost time over the past month or so. Whatever it was he couldn't quite figure out about the two of them seemed to disappear when he had her alone. When she kissed him or touched him he was certain he wanted her forever. When he made love to her there was no question he needed her. Ana's touch drove away all his doubts and fears and made him feel like anything was possible.

Ana was the one who finally got Mattie to sleep and when she went downstairs she found Jethro standing at the kitchen sink staring out the window. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist laying her head on his shoulder.

"He's finally asleep. That boy was determined to stay up tonight."

"Yeah, he must have known how much his daddy wanted him to go to bed."

"Really? What exactly was his daddy's hurry?"

Ana felt him take a deep breath and then he turned in her arms. He tunneled his fingers into her thick, dark hair and pulled her face up to his.

"This", he said before he kissed her. The kiss went on and on with hands roaming over heated skin and Ana leaning into him until not a breath could pass between them. Jethro pulled her sweater off and she wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him urgently. She could feel his arousal and it seemed they had better get out of the kitchen pretty quickly.

"Want you. Now."

"Upstairs lover."

Reluctantly Jethro released her mouth and they made their way up the stairs to the bedroom where Jethro pushed the door closed with his foot and locked it. He wasted no time shedding his shirt and shoes and when Ana reached for him he pulled her against his chest and kissed her until the world consisted only of the two of them.

Jethro backed her against the wall and kissed his way down her throat to her breasts where he kissed and licked first one and then the other driving Ana crazy with her need for him. She managed to push his sweat pants down and get her hands inside his boxers to stroke his erection. Jethro moaned and covered her breast with his mouth, suckling there as Ana ran her thumb over his tip. She needed him and Jethro knew that. He pushed her pants and panties down and finally she felt his hand slip between her legs. She was so ready Jethro almost lost his control right then.

"Please, baby I need you inside me."

"I know."

Jethro easily took her in his arms and laid her on the bed. He shed his boxers and laid down next to her. Ana pulled him on top of her and reached for him. Jethro let her guide him to her entrance and he slid into her easily. Holding himself above her, Jethro kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth as he thrust into her taking her deeper each time. Their need for each other and the time they'd been without each other meant it didn't take long for each of them to reach the point of no return. Jethro forced himself to keep his eyes open as Ana came undone beneath him. He followed quickly behind her and then collapsed beside her totally spent and very happy.

Ana let herself recover for a few minutes then rolled onto her side and draped an arm and a leg over Jethro's still sweaty body. She kissed him on the shoulder and laid her head on his chest.

"I've sure missed that. It's good to be back."

"Me too and I'm very glad to have you back."

This would have been the perfect time for Jethro to ask her if she was moving in when her lease was up but he didn't. They both noted that but neither acknowledged it to the other. Ana decided to see if he would tell her about anything bothering him.

"Is everything alright with you, babe?"

"Sure. Why you asking?"

"Ducky mentioned he thought you seemed a bit distant lately. I told him I hadn't seen enough of you to notice."

"Probably just some work stuff goin' on when I saw him. Things are okay now."

"You'd tell me if something was bothering you wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would."

Ana moved over on top of him and began an extensive exploration of his mouth and chest and that was all the talking for the rest of the night. Later when Ana got up to go into the bathroom Jethro went to unlock the door and then checked on Mattie. When he came back Ana was in bed. He went to the bathroom and then joined her. Ana snuggled into his side and soon Jethro felt her relax and her breathing even out. He was sure she was asleep but she wasn't so she heard him whisper to her, "please wait for me baby". She started to ask him what he meant but she knew she wasn't meant to hear him so she just closed her eyes and fell asleep, answering him only in her mind.

That weekend was like a mini vacation for Ana. She enjoyed long showers and lazy hours doing nothing but being with the man she loved and his sweet boy. Nothing but relaxation was accomplished on Sunday and she was perfectly fine with that. Jethro took Monday off so they had a bonus day to do more nothing. He called Noemi and told her she could have the day off as well. Ana knew she should be doing some Christmas shopping but even the thought of going to a mall gave her a headache. She decided her shopping would be done online this year. Lying on the couch with her head in Jethro's lap she dreaded going back to work the next day.

"I could get used to just lying around the house with you all day every day."

"You'd get bored after a few days. You like the action of the ER too much."

"You're right but I could certainly do it for few more days."

"This has been a great weekend. I'm glad the schedule finally gave you a break. Oh, I almost forgot, Mike called this morning before you got up. He wanted to know if we were going to be able to visit over the Christmas holiday."

"What'd you tell him?"

"I said I'd have to ask you. I can take the time but I didn't know if you could."

"I doubt it. I have no seniority and little leave built up. Usually docs in my position wind up working more over the holidays to cover those who can take time off. But you know, you could take Mattie down for a few days."

"I don't want to go without you."

"I know but really Jethro think about it. You and I won't see each other that much and you could use the break. I know Mattie would love it. And Mike definitely would. You should think about it at least. I'll look at my schedule and see when I'm working. We could at least have Christmas Day or Eve together and then you and Mattie could go. Just be back for New Year's Eve."

"I'll think about it."

Monday afternoon while Mattie took a much protested nap, his daddy and Ana made love and Ana took a nap so she'd be rested for her overnight shift. Jethro lay awake with Ana snugly in his embrace. He hated feeling so unsure of himself. How could he even contemplate letting Ana go? He told himself he wouldn't lose her; wouldn't let her go but he was constantly afraid she would lose patience with him and walk away. Jethro knew he couldn't blame her if she did but he prayed that didn't happen. Other than praying and hoping though, he didn't know what to do because he still didn't really understand why he was stuck.

Knowing Ana would probably be eating nothing but hospital food for the next week, Jethro took her out to dinner that evening. On the way home Ana reached for his hand and pulled it to her lips for a kiss.

"Thank you for a lovely dinner and for a wonderful weekend."

"My pleasure I assure you. I hope the next few weeks are better than the last few have been for you."

"Me too but I doubt that will be the case. In my experience this time of year is always busy in the ER. The holidays are so stressful for so many people and when you add in the normal ER cases it can get chaotic."

"I wish you could get away for a few days to go to Mike's with us."

"I'll see but don't count on it. Will you go anyway?"

"I think so if you're sure it's okay."

"Of course it is. I want you to go check on Mike and enjoy the beach. Then when I can manage some days off you can take me somewhere warm. Just the two of us."

"I like the sound of that."

Ana went back to work that night and though they didn't know it at the time she wouldn't get home again until Christmas. The hospital was short handed and very busy as she had predicted so she worked pretty much every day. She always called Jethro at the end of her shift but she simply didn't have the energy or time to go to the house on her downtime. They managed a couple of lunches together but that was about it.

While Ana was getting back into the swing of working, Jethro was about to be unemployed. Shortly after Ana left on Monday night Jethro got a call from Mark's wife in San Diego telling him Mark had been hospitalized with a heart attack. She said he was stable and expected to fully recover but Jethro could tell she was shaken. She said they would call as soon as they had other news. The news was a shock to Jethro. After all he and Mark were the same age and the last time he'd seen his friend and boss Mark had seemed in perfect health.

Mark himself called the next afternoon.

"Hey, buddy how are you?"

"I'm okay. Kinda scared myself though. But the docs say I'll be fine."

"Heart attack? Really? What are they saying about it?"

"Apparently my blood pressure is too high. Imagine that. Anyway, the doctor said I need to take this as a warning and make some changes. More exercise and less good food is what I heard but I'm sure that's a simplification. I gotta tell ya Jethro it was scary. Really freaked Liz out too."

"I imagine it did. She sounded pretty shook up when she called. What do you need me to do?"

"That's one reason I'm calling. I'm gonna have to make some changes. Liz wants me to retire. Again. So, I'm selling the business. The guy who owns United Security Analysts has been trying to buy me out for the last couple of years. He made me a new offer last week and I'm going to take it this time. I hate to do this to you but Liz is threatening to shoot me if I don't. They have an office there and one here too. I'm sure you know them."

"Yes, we've done some stuff with the same people. They're good."

"I don't know how this will affect you guys for sure but I'll do my best to get them to keep you all on if possible."

"Don't worry about me. To tell you the truth I've been thinking I might need to take some time off. A long time maybe."

"What's goin' on Jethro?"

"I'm not sure really. I just feel like I need to take a break and sort myself out. Maybe I didn't do that after Jenny died. Not well enough anyway."

"What about Ana? She still in the picture?"

"Yes and she's one reason I need to get sorted out. I don't want to lose her and I'm afraid if I don't get myself straight I will."

"Then that's what you need to do. But remember, you have to be dead certain and you have to think about yourself and that little boy first. Do what's right for him and his daddy first."

"I will."

"Will you talk to everyone there and let them know what's happening? Like I said I think the new folks will keep our field people so Ziva should be okay."

"Actually I think Ziva is a short timer so this might not matter to her."

"Really? I thought she was doing really well and liked what she's doing."

"She does but I'm pretty sure she pregnant so she'd be taking time off anyway and probably wouldn't come back to work after the baby is born."

"What do you mean you're pretty sure? She hasn't told you she's pregnant?"

"No but remember I know Ziva very well and I'm ninety percent certain she's pregnant. Plus the last time I saw DiNozzo he had that look on his face like he thinks he's done something none of the rest of us have ever done. I remember that look. And that feeling."

"Oh yeah, me too. Well good for them. Listen my friend, I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you've done for me out there the last couple of years. You'll be taken care of so don't worry about anything. You get yourself straight Gunny and don't let your doctor get away if she's the right one for you and Matthew."

"Thanks, Mark. I'm the one who should be saying thank you. You saved me when I really needed it and I'll not forget that. Don't worry about me; I'm in good shape. What are you gonna do retired?"

"Hell if I know. Liz has a list I'm sure. I want to get out to see you and get you to take us sailing so I can talk her into us getting a boat."

"That can be arranged. Come this summer and we'll get her out and let her fall in love with sailing. Seriously, you take care of yourself. I don't intend to be out there for your funeral."

"Not to worry. Listen, the lawyers will be there later in the week to give you all the pertinent details. And the new guys will be there to get the lay of the land."

"I'll take care of it, don't give it another thought. You just relax and get better. I'll call you if I have any questions but I'll take care of everything here."

"Thanks Jethro. I'll be in touch."

"Behave yourself, my friend."

Jethro sat back in his chair and looked out the window of his office. He'd told Mark the truth when he said he was thinking about taking some time off. He felt like he was on a roller coaster when it came to his emotions and he wanted to get off. He wanted Ana in his life but he couldn't commit to her. Maybe it was a merry-go-round he was one but whatever it was he needed to get off and get his life back on the straight and narrow. When he admitted to Ana a few weeks earlier that he missed NCIS it was the first time he'd allowed himself to say that out loud. He knew he couldn't sit at home and take care of Matthew forever so eventually he'd have to go back to work. The problem was until he took this job with Mark he'd only ever been two things; a Marine sniper and an NCIS agent. What he was going t be next he had no idea.

Ana called late that night as Jethro was getting ready for bed. He told her he would soon be unemployed.

"Are you concerned about this, Jethro?"

"Not really. Financially I'll be fine for a while. Of course I need to work or I'll lose my mind but I'll be okay for a while."

They talked about her shift for a while and then Jethro could tell she was tired so he told her to get some rest and promised he'd see her the next day for lunch.

Before they knew it Christmas was upon them. Ana worked the 3-11 shift on Christmas Eve so she was at the house just before midnight. Jethro was waiting with a glass of wine and a perfect fire going in the fireplace. Ana shed her coat and dropped her bag on the floor and quickly got comfortable on the couch with the only person in the world she wanted to be with. Jethro kissed her hello and everything was right in the world.

"Oh I am so very happy to be home with you! What a night. I thought I'd never get out of there."

"I'm glad you're here. Mattie wanted to wait for you and I had a hell of a time getting him to go to bed. I promised you'd kiss him goodnight when you got here."

"I will most surely do that. First though I need to kiss his father."

And so she did. Several times. Before they got too carried away Jethro asked her if she was hungry and of course she was starving.

"Why don't you go up and get changed and I'll fix you something to eat."

"I'd love that. I'll look in on Mattie and be back in a few minutes."

Ana started up the stairs then turned back and said, "I love you Jethro."

"And I love you."

That was the first time in a very long time he'd said it to her and Ana thought she might cry with relief and happiness. She hurried up the stairs stripping off her scrubs as she went. In short order she'd taken a quick shower and dressed in some soft, comfy pajamas. She stepped into Mattie's room and found him sprawled sideways on his bed. She carefully moved him around and covered him with his blanket. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. He looked so much like his father is was uncanny. Ana knew in her heart she and Jethro would eventually be fine but she did wonder how much longer it would be before that happened. Tonight though she didn't care.

When Ana got back downstairs Jethro had her supper waiting on the coffee table. A bowl of beef stew and some cornbread and her wine awaited her along with a gift wrapped box and a handsome, smiling man.

"My goodness that looks and smells delicious."

"Noemi made stew before she left last night. She put some in the freezer too if you want it while I'm gone. She said to tell you Merry Christmas."

Ana was busy eating and Jethro was pretty sure this was the first food she'd had since lunch time at least.

"Did you eat at all today?"

"Barely. We were swamped. This is so good. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Jethro sat back and let her finish. Ana put her bowl down and leaned back very satisfied and somewhat revived. She looked over at Jethro and winked at him.

"You know I might just have enough energy now to show you how much I like you tonight."

"Thank god. I was afraid you'd eat and fall right to sleep."

Ana scooted over and crawled into his lap straddling him and running her fingers through his hair.

"Not a chance. I intend to be awake for a while yet. I might want to wait up for Santa."

"I've got news for you lady, you're sitting on Santa right now."

"I thought so."

Ana leaned into him and kissed him slow and sweet while he ran his hand up under her top and enjoyed the feel of her melting into him. As soon as she paused to take a breath Jethro pulled her top off over her head and his hands cupped her breasts. Ana moved to the side and Jethro pushed her down and kissed her hungrily. After about twenty minutes of kissing and touching and clothes being shed Ana was lying on Jethro with only his boxers between them. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beating.

"Should we take this upstairs Santa?"

"I have a present for you first."

"Yes, I can tell. That's why I thought maybe we should go upstairs."

"No, not that present." Jethro reached over for the wrapped box on the table. Ana had completely forgotten about it. "This one", he said holding it up for her.

Ana carefully sat up and Jethro did as well. He was comfortably uncomfortable and sitting next to a naked Ana wasn't going to help that much but he figured he'd rather manage than change the circumstances. He watched as Ana examined the box, shaking it and turning it over in her hands.

"It's not going to bite you. For god's sake woman, open it!"

It was a long narrow box almost certainly containing jewelry of some sort and Ana was intrigued. She wore very little jewelry as a rule so she wondered what Jethro had chosen for her.

"I thought we decided not to give each other gifts."

"You decided that but I didn't. Besides I know you didn't stick to that either. Go on and open it so we can get upstairs and I can give you your other present."

Ana finally tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside was a simple gold chain. It sparkled in the firelight and Ana thought it was about the most perfect gift Jethro could have chosen. It was beautiful and something she could wear at work without worrying about it getting in the way or being too showy. She loved it.

"Oh Jethro, it's perfect. I'll wear it always. Thank you."

"I wanted something you could wear at work. I hope it's okay."

"It's wonderful. It's just exactly what I'd pick out for myself. I love it. Here, put it on for me."

Ana handed the necklace to him and Jethro carefully fastened it for her. He kissed her neck where the necklace lay and then he kissed his way back to her mouth. Things got heated again but at the last moment Ana pushed him back and stood up.

"Come on, let's go up."

Jethro groaned.

"I have to put out Mattie's Santa gifts first."

"Okay, I'll take care of the dishes and our clothes while you do that. Meet you in the bedroom?"

"I'll be there."

Ana was indeed waiting for him in the bedroom. More precisely in the bed. Jethro was at first afraid she was asleep but when the door lock clicked Ana held out her hand beckoning him to her and his worry was gone. Christmas Eve had long ago turned into Christmas Day before they finally fell asleep. Whatever was causing Jethro's inner struggles it never intruded on their lovemaking. He was always attentive and passionate and this night was no different. Ana was again blown away by his gentleness and intensity. She marveled at the way he always gave her exactly what she wanted and needed without her ever having to prompt him. Jethro seemed to have magical sense of how to please her. Ana found herself wanting more than anything to please him in return and that is why they were still wrapped up in each other hours after they got started.

Christmas morning started much too early for the lovers but with an almost three year old in the house there wasn't much chance of anyone sleeping late. Matthew was in his dad's bedroom at seven o'clock which under normal circumstances was pretty reasonable but considering their late night and the fact that Jethro had awakened Ana at three thirty kissing her and then making love to her for the next hour it was damn early.

"Daddy get up. Santa Clause was here."

"He was? How do you know?" Jethro was so groggy he failed to realize Mattie was seeing Ana in his bed for the first time.

"There's toys downstairs. I looked."

"Okay, well I'll be up in a minute. Can you go to your room and get some dry pants?"

"Okay. Ana, wake up! Santa was here!"

Mattie disappeared to his room and Ana rolled over to kiss a very sleepy Jethro.

"Yes, Santa was here. And I for one enjoyed his visit very much. Or should I say visits?"

"Santa himself enjoyed it too. You better get moving, he won't be put off for long."

"Okay. Can you distract him in his room long enough for me to get to my room?"

"Yes, but I will need a kiss first."

Ana paid the toll and then Jethro pulled on his boxers and went to deal with his son. He closed Mattie's door and Ana scampered down the hall to the guest room. Fifteen minutes later they were all in the living room and Mattie was ankle deep in presents. It didn't take long for everything to be unwrapped and toys, bows and gift boxes littered the floor. Mattie had gifts from not only his dad and Ana but Noemi and all of Jethro's NCIS family as well. Santa brought a tricycle which he pretty quickly mastered. There was a big fire truck, big plastic blocks, puzzles, coloring books and markers and more story books and clothes which Mattie showed almost no interest in. He did put on an NCIS cap that Tony had sent and Ana noticed Jethro's expression when he saw his son wearing a cap she knew dad wished he still wore.

"Maybe you should see about getting yourself one of those again."

"Huh? Oh, the cap. Probably not much chance of that happening."

"Have you thought about it at least? Looked into it?"

"No. Let's not go there right now."

"Okay, here, open your present."

"See, I knew you didn't stick to your deal."

"Yeah, yeah go on. Unless you don't want it." Ana reached for the box to take it away from him.

Jethro pulled the present back, "I never said that." He opened the box to find a beautiful set of carving knives.

"Ana, these are great. How did you know?"

"Ducky. I have the receipt if they're not the right ones we can exchange them."

"No, they're perfect. Thank you. I love them."

Ana went to fix some breakfast while Jethro helped Mattie pick up all the wrapping paper and other trash. After they ate and got dressed they went outside so Mattie could try out the tricycle on the driveway. He had it mastered in no time. It was a nice mild day so they took a walk with Mattie leading the way on his new trike. Jethro and Ana held hands and all seemed right in their world. On the way home Ana asked Jethro about NCIS.

"I haven't looked into it because I don't see how it could be done. Tony's runnin' the team now and I certainly wouldn't try to take it away from him."

"I just thought maybe there was something else you could do."

"I don't see it."

Ana didn't say anything else and neither did Jethro but she had planted a seed and unbeknownst to Jethro it was already growing in the back of his mind.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

AN: Okay, we're coming down to the end pretty soon. I think just one chapter is left. Thanks for reading and leaving comments.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 24

The rest of the day was spent at home relaxing and enjoying each other. Ana had to go back to work at eleven so she took a nap for a couple of hours at about four o'clock. When she got up Jethro had dinner ready.

"What a treat. Thanks for cooking."

"You mean reheating."

"Well, whatever, it's delicious. Are you packed for tomorrow?"

"No, I'll do that after you go to work. I really hate going without you."

"I know but I'll be working and there's no sense in you sitting around here in the cold when you can be in Mexico with Mike. I have the seven to three on New Year's Eve so I'll be home that evening and then I'm off on New Year's Day. We'll have plenty of time to celebrate."

"I was thinking I'd stay with Mike for the New Year."

Ana looked across the table at him and squinted her eyes. He was trying very hard to look serious but not having much luck.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Mr. Gibbs."

"I don't either really. We'll be home early evening At least that's the plan. I'm cutting it kinda close with the flights but it was the best I could do."

"That'll be fine. Whenever you get here I'll be happy to see you."

"You will be here won't you?"

Ana looked at him and saw he was now very serious. She saw worry in his eyes and that surprised her.

"Of course I'll be here. Why would you even have to ask that?"

"Because my year's going to be up. Remember, you gave me a year and said after that you'd marry a doctor or a sailor."

Ana was floored. She hadn't thought about that joking threat she'd made in a long time and she certainly didn't intend to enforce it. She knew her response needed to be very clear and convincing so she wanted to hold off on answering for a while to give herself time to think.

"Maybe we should talk about that when little ears aren't so close."

"Okay. Sorry."

Later that evening Ana took Mattie up and helped him take a bath and then read him some stories. He wanted his daddy to kiss him good night so after Ana said her good night to Mattie and told him she'd see him when he got home from Mike's, she went to get Jethro. She found him in the basement staring at the wall.

"Mattie wants you to go up and kiss him good night."

Ana wanted to ask him what was wrong but she knew she'd get the same old answer; 'nothing', so she didn't bother to ask.

"Okay."

Jethro went upstairs and Ana followed him but went to the guest room to get her bag ready for work. She had decided she'd talk to Jethro and then go to work early. She wanted to avoid a long, drawn out session with Jethro; she needed to be fresh and able to concentrate at work and she was afraid that wouldn't be possible if they got into a long discussion. Besides, she knew what she wanted to say and she was sure Jethro wouldn't have much to say anyway. Lately he hadn't been very forthcoming with her.

Once Mattie was asleep Jethro found Ana in 'her' room changing clothes for work.

"You leaving pretty soon?"

"Yes. Jethro I want to respond to what you said at dinner. I don't want us to get caught up in a serious, emotional discussion tonight. I need to be focused on work and not on whatever's going on with us. Okay?"

"Sure."

Ana sat on the bed and motioned for Jethro to sit beside her which he did. She scooted back a little and got sideways so she could look at him.

"Okay, here goes. I remember exactly what I said to you in Mexico a year ago and I'm sure you know I was more or less joking with you. I think we've come a long way in the last year in terms of knowing each other and understanding what we each want. I think there is one thing you still don't understand though. There is no deadline you have to meet for me. I love you and I will wait for you for as long as it takes for you to be able to give me all of you. You already do that in many, many ways but I know you are still unsure about your love for me and I accept that.

"I think maybe you haven't quite finished grieving Jenny's death and that's something you will have to deal with. I want you to know you can do that with me. You don't have to hide it from me or protect me from it or whatever it is you're doing."

"Ana, you know I love you don't you?"

"Yes, I believe you do in some ways. But, I don't believe you have allowed yourself to fall in love with me or at least to admit to yourself that you have."

"Some days I'm sure what I want but there are still days when I miss Jenny so much I feel like I can't breathe. Sometimes when I listen to her voice on the book recordings I ache for her; for what we could have been. Those things leave me confused about my feelings for you."

"And you think that means you're not ready to be in love with me?"

"Yeah."

Jethro was staring at his hands in his lap, afraid to look at Ana. His voice was low and choked with emotion. It seemed the serious discussion Ana had hoped to avoid was happening anyway.

"It's okay, Jethro. I wouldn't expect you to be completely past all that yet. You and Jenny had a remarkable love and it will take time for you to be able to move past your loss. Matthew will always be a reminder to you of what could have been. Some day you will be able to look at that and accept it and say, 'yes but I'm okay with the way things are now'. I will be here whenever that is. Only if you tell me you don't want what we can have together will I ever leave you."

"I won't do that."

Ana wrapped her arms around his shoulders and they sat together for long minutes lost in their own thoughts. She felt Jethro take a deep breath and waited to see what was next.

In a soft voice he asked, "How can you be so sure? Sure you love me and that you can wait?"

Ana took his face in her hands and turned him to face her. She held him and looked into those blue eyes that had captivated her from the very beginning.

"Jethro when I see you in the morning or whenever you come in the room my heart takes a little jump. Every time. When you hold my hand I feel a little charge of electricity in my system. When I'm with you I feel like nothing can hurt me. More than I want anything in this world, I want you to be happy. You are the only person I have ever known that has made me feel all that. That's how I know I love you and I'll wait for you. Because I can't imagine my life without you in it."

Jethro swallowed and hesitated but finally said, "Do you understand that is how I've felt about two other women in my life and both of them are gone now?"

"I do. And I really cannot imagine how you have survived to be such a loving, thoughtful man. And knowing how much I love you I cannot imagine how long it would take me to accept losing you and then loving someone else. That's why I can wait for you as long as you want me to."

"It scares me to let myself love you because I don't think I can survive again. And I have to survive for my child."

"I understand. But you don't lack for courage Jethro. I think you'll find a way because I know you want to be happy again. For yourself and for Mattie. Obviously I cannot guarantee you anything except that I will never willingly leave you."

Jethro glanced over at the clock and saw that time was getting away from them. Ana needed to go to work soon.

"I'm glad we talked. I want you to promise me you won't worry about me or us while I'm gone. This has helped me and I'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll try my best not to worry about you. I don't worry about us anyway. I know we're going to make it. As soon as you know it, we're home free. I want you and Mattie to have a good time with Mike and I'll see you in a week."

Still neither of them had broached the subject of her lease and whether or not she was going to renew it. The house was still not for sale and she had been told she could continue to rent month-to-month for a while. That wasn't something either of them talked about. They were both waiting for the other one to bring it up.

"We'll be home for New Year's. C'mon you better get going. I'm sorry this got a little more involved than you wanted tonight."

"No, it's fine. We needed to talk and I think it was good for us. I'm good, don't worry."

They kissed and hugged and kissed again and then Ana was gone to work. Jethro stayed up and packed his bag and Mattie's so he would be ready to head to the airport in the morning.

Their flights were right on schedule all day and they made it to Mexico on time. Mike met them at the airport and before they knew it they were back on the beach. Mattie ran around on the sand and wanted to go straight to the water. Jethro managed to corral him for some food but that only delayed the inevitable for a short time. They finally took a walk down to the water and Mattie happily splashed and ran knowing his dad would chase him down.

Way past his normal bedtime Mattie finally fell asleep in his daddy's lap and Jethro carried him in the house to the bed. The two men sat on the porch with a drink and Mike waited for Jethro to bring him up-to-date on things in DC. Jethro told him about Mark selling the business and that he was thinking of taking some time off.

"Is that going to help you figure out what you want?"

"Not sure. To be really honest I doubt it because I'm not even sure what I need. I know I want Ana in my life but for some reason I can't let go of Jenny and everything I feel about what happened to us. I guess only time will let me do that and what if it takes too much time? Besides Ana the thing I really want is to go back to NCIS and I don't know if that's possible."

"Ana has told you she'll wait. I think you need to take her at her word. You really want to go back to being an agent?"

"Yeah."

"What about all that line-of-fire stuff we talked about? The horrible hours and the stress? You really want to do all that with a little one in the mix?"

"I do. Noemi and Ana will pick up any slack there is with Mattie. I went years without getting shot or really hurt. It's not like it's an every day thing."

"So, you expect Ana to be there long term? You just said you're not sure she'll wait as long as you seem to think you need. You're confusin' me Probie!"

"Welcome to my world. She says she'll be there so I'm trying to believe her. I figure I'll get myself straight pretty soon. As a matter of fact we had a really good talk last night and I feel like it made a difference in my thinking. She's committed to us and just waiting for me to catch up."

"You gonna do that?"

"Yes, that's what I'm sayin'. All the way down here I was thinking that part of my problem is I don't really know who I am anymore. I mean I've only been two things in my adult life; a Marine and an NCIS agent. I sure can't be a Marine again but I wonder about being an agent again."

"You explored that with anyone?"

"No. I just more or less came to this conclusion on the plane. I mean, I know I love Ana but I haven't been able to really let myself go in terms of making a commitment to her. I couldn't figure out why. Part of it was getting over Jenny but I finally figured out that other part."

"Then you know what you have to do when you get back to DC."

"Yep, go see the Director and ask some questions."

While Jethro and Mattie enjoyed a few days of sun and warm weather with Mike, Ana was stuck in DC with a cold rain and lots of trauma patients. Two nights after Jethro left, Ana found herself treating Tony in the ER. When she walked in the area where he was sitting she was very surprised to see him.

"Tony, what are you doing here? What happened?"

"Oh, hi Doc. Just a cut that Ducky said probably needed stitches and he wanted me to come in."

Tony held out his arm and yes, there was a pretty deep cut on his forearm that definitely needed stitching.

"Well, you're in luck because we're not busy and I'll be glad to sew you up myself."

"Ooh great. How's everything? Have a good Christmas?"

"Yes, we had a nice day together. Jethro and Matthew are in Mexico with Mike for a few days. How did this happen if I'm allowed to know?"

"Oh a guy we were arresting decided to bring a knife to a gunfight. I made the mistake of trying to reason with him and he lunged at me before McGee could take him out."

"And he is…?"

"Dead."

"I see. Okay, you sit tight and I'll be right back to fix you up."

When Ana came back Ziva was right behind her.

"Look who I found."

"Oh hi baby. I'm fine. Just a little cut. Right Doc?"

"Yes, nothing drastic. Not nearly as drastic as what Jethro did to his arm with a saw blade."

"Ouch! Strange he'd get cut; he's usually pretty careful."

"Yes, well he wasn't in the best place back then. I doubt it would happen today."

Ziva stood by watching. "Have you talked to him since they got to Mexico?"

"He called yesterday morning. Said it was eighty-five and sunny and I hung up on him."

Tony and Ziva laughed. Through her laughter, Ziva managed, "Oh I like you so very much! He is always the one who hangs up on people. Good for you."

"I called him back of course but he was surprised I think."

"I'm sure he was. Hey, you know the Director asked me yesterday for Jethro's phone number. Did he say anything about that?"

"No, he didn't mention it. Did the Director say what he wanted it for?"

"No. I asked but I got that need-to-know look so I didn't pursue it."

Ziva said, "I hope he's going to offer him a job."

"Well, there is a rumor going around that SecNav has approved an assistant for the Director here in DC. That'd be a great job for Gibbs."

"Not if it deals with politics."

Ana hadn't said anything, concentrating on Tony's arm instead. Now though she was intrigued and she asked them, "Do you think Jethro wants to go back to NCIS?"

Tony looked at Ziva but didn't say anything. Ziva took the hint and answered, "Yes, I think he does but maybe he does not know it yet. If I may be honest I think Jethro needs to go back to NCIS if at all possible."

"Thank god! I thought I was the only one who thought so. You should have seen the look on his face the other morning when Matthew put on the cap you sent him for Christmas. Jethro loved the idea but the look on his face told me how very much he misses it."

"Yeah, well he didn't leave for the right reason and if he could come back I think it'd be good for everyone. But, he can't have his old team back so I don't know how that'll go over."

"No, he understands that. We talked very briefly about it before he left for Mexico and he would not even consider that. He knows what a good job you're doing, Tony."

Ana wrapped Tony's arm with a gauze wrap and gave him a sheet with instructions for wound care.

"You will be good as new in a few days. I'm glad I got to see you guys even under these circumstances."

"Ana, how is Jethro really doing? He seems okay most days at the office but sometimes…."

"That's it exactly; most days he's fine but he still has days when he's overcome with the loss of Jenny. He recognizes it though and he's trying to work his way through it."

"Thank goodness you are here for him. We love Jethro but he would never open up to any of us. He needs to grieve and I do not think he has done that completely yet."

"Ziva, I couldn't agree more. I think he didn't want to do that with me but we're working on it."

"You're gonna stick with him aren't you?"

"Absolutely. You don't need to worry about that."

"Good, okay Zi, let's get outa here. Thanks Ana. See ya."

"Thank you Ana."

"Oh hey you two, congratulations."

Tony and Ziva smiled. Tony said, "I told you he'd know. Thank you."

"You mean you hadn't told him? I thought you had already announced you were expecting. Was I not supposed to know?"

"No, nothing like that. We wanted to tell Jethro together, in person and we just have not been able to do so. Tony kept telling me Jethro would know anyway and apparently he does."

"He does seem to be pretty perceptive about the people he cares about. I'm happy for you and trust me he is thrilled."

"Good. You two must come for dinner as soon as possible."

"I'll make sure we do. Goodnight you two."

Jethro had let his phone run down and when he finally remembered to charge it he found a message from the SecNav. He listened to the message twice to be sure he'd heard it right.

 _Gunny, it's Paul. Listen, Vance is going to be calling you and I'd consider it a personal favor if you'd give serious consideration to what he's gonna ask you to do. Can't say anymore but I'll talk to you soon._

Jethro went out onto the porch where Mike was playing with Mattie. He told Mike exactly what Paul had said in his message.

"Got any idea what he's talkin' about?"

"Nope."

"But you're interested aren't you?"

"Very. For Paul to call me it must be important to him."

"Job offer most likely."

"That would be too good to be true."

"Probie, you're due some good. I mean you've got this little guy and a great lady in Ana but you're still in a deficit when it comes to good luck if you ask me."

That afternoon Jethro and Mattie were down at the beach playing in the water when Mike came down.

"Your phone was ringing so I answered. Vance wants you to call him back in an hour."

"Okay. We'll be up in a little bit."

Jethro and Mattie stayed in the water for a while longer then went up to the house and Jethro got Mattie settled on the porch with Mike and some snacks. He took a shower and then sat down and called Leon Vance. Jethro had met Vance early in his career but hadn't had any contact with him in years. Their styles were very different and Jethro wondered how they would work together if indeed that was what this was all about. After a couple of minutes of waiting Vance finally came on the line.

"Gibbs, thanks for calling me back. Sorry to interrupt your vacation. I understand you're in Mexico with Mike Franks."

"That's right. What can I do for you Director?"

"First, Jethro let me say much too late that I'm very sorry about Jenny. She was a terrific Director and boss and a good friend to me."

"Thank you. She appreciated the job you did in LA."

"Now to the reason I called. Secretary Burke has approved an Assistant Director for this office and I'd like you to consider the position."

Jethro was speechless. That was not what he'd been expecting.

"Gibbs, you there?"

"Yeah, Leon I'm here. I'm flattered but aren't there agents already on board who'd be better suited to that position? I mean, bringing me back might ruffle some feathers."

"That's a possibility I suppose. As to your other question; no there is no one here better suited to how I see this job being done. This position is designed to handle the day-to-day support of field agents that I simply don't have time do properly anymore. I know Jenny struggled with juggling all the case support and the other parts of the job and that she had asked several times for an assistant but it was never agreed upon. Now it has been."

"You're right she practically begged for that for a couple of years before she finally gave up. I'm surprised you got it through."

"Actually SecNav is the one who finally got it authorized. So, are you interested? You'd be supporting our investigators with whatever they needed. Might be some travel involved. Maybe some field work here or there but I don't see a lot of that. Will you come in and talk to me about it?"

"Sure. I'll be back in DC on the thirty-first. I can see you right after the first of the year."

"Perfect. I'm going to pass you back to my assistant and she'll make the appointment. I'll see you in a few days. Thank you, Jethro."

"No, thank you Director. I look forward to talking to you."

After making an appointment for January third, Jethro hung up the phone and sat very still for a long time thinking. It was as he'd said, too good to be true. However, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He'd talk to Leon and see what the job would really be and then he'd decide. But really, what was there to think about? He knew he wanted to go back to NCIS and this was his chance.

He had no idea whether Ana would be at work or home but he was so excited by the idea of going back to NCIS that he called her anyway. As it happened she was at work but on a break in the doctor's lounge.

"Jethro? Hi, everything alright?"

"Everything's great. Don't hang up on me I've got some news."

"Okay but don't brag about the weather."

"Listen, I just got off the phone with the director of NCIS and he's offered me a job. At least he's going to offer me a job after I go talk to him next week."

"Oh my gosh! That's wonderful. You sound happier than I've heard you sound in a long time."

"I'm pretty happy yes. This could be really good for me, I think. And for us."

"Yes, this will be good for you. It's funny because I saw Tony and Ziva last night and we were saying how we wished you could go back."

"Where'd you see them?"

"Tony got cut by a suspect and came in for stitches. Nothing serious. I told him it didn't measure up to your saw blade accident."

"I'm glad to hear that. You doin' okay there?"

"Yes, but I miss you guys."

"I miss you too. I'll try to soak up some warm weather for you."

"Yes, bring it home with you. Oh, I'm getting paged. See you in two days, right?"

"Yes. Sooner if I can make it happen. Love you. Bye, go save someone."


	25. Chapter 25

AN: This is the final chapter. Thank you to all who read, followed or made this a favorite. I enjoyed writing this little story so I hope you enjoyed reading.

 **Betrayal**

Chapter 25

The next day Jethro took a long walk alone on the beach while Mike played grandpa with Mattie. When he'd gone about a mile he sat down and looked out at the water and thought about Jenny. And Ana. It wasn't Jenny that was holding him back. He accepted that she was gone and he knew she would be kicking his butt right now if she saw him afraid to admit he was in love with Ana. He believed she would want him to be happy and get on with life. And, he had to admit he was happy. He was happy to have Ana in DC, to have her in his life. He was happy to have a chance to go back to NCIS and of course he was very happy to be Mattie's dad. So, what the hell was his problem? Was he afraid Ana would die? No, he didn't really think that would happen. It could of course but surely no one was that unlucky; not even him. Then what? Jethro couldn't come up with any explanation of his reluctance to move on. So, if he couldn't figure out the reason not to move on then maybe it was because there wasn't one.

Jethro decided to list all the reasons to move on and see if there was anything left stopping him. He had to start with Mattie of course; his son was his number one reason for getting himself on track. Next was Ana. He had a woman who loved him, was accepting of his ongoing grief issues, and who said she'd wait for him no matter what. There were lots of other good things in his life; friends like Ducky and his old team, he was healthy, had a great place to live and of course he had Noemi taking care of him and Mattie. Now he even had a chance to go back to work where he really wanted to be. And again, he had Ana. A beautiful, loving, passionate woman who refused to let him go.

" _You're an idiot, Gunny! Wake up and smell the coffee….it doesn't get better than what you have now. Get your ass back to DC and tell Ana you love her and want her always. Stop hiding behind Jenny and what happened with you two. You're missing out on all the good things love can do for you."_

That voice in his head finally got through to him. Jethro walked back to the house knowing he was ready once and for all to accept Ana's love and give all of his to her. He felt like a new man. He was ready for his future and ready to let go of the past.

The next afternoon while they were all lounging around on the porch Ana called to wish Matthew a happy birthday. He was very excited to talk on the phone and told her at least four times that he was three now and a big boy.

"I love you Mattie and I'll see you when you get home okay?"

"Okay, love you Ana."

"Give the phone to daddy. Bye."

Mattie handed the phone to his dad who took it and walked out into the yard.

"Can you tell he's excited about being three?"

"Yes, that has certainly made an impression on him. Are you guys celebrating?"

"Carmelita wants us to come in for supper so we'll do that. She promised Mattie a chocolate cake and ice cream."

"Good. I'm glad you're doing that. I'm sorry to miss it."

"This is the last one we're doin' without you."

"It is?"

"Yes. And this is the last vacation I'm taking without you. Just so you know."

"Well, I like the sound of that and I'd love to hear more but damn, I'm getting paged. I love you Jethro. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Yes you will. Bye. Love you."

For the first time in traveling with Mattie things didn't go well for the two of them. They were delayed all day long and Mattie was not a happy camper by the time they got on their last leg home. Jethro had used up all his patience and understanding so was greatly relieved when his unhappy child fell asleep. It didn't matter that they were going to be late because Ana had sent him a text that she was working late and wouldn't be home until at least ten that night. Because of all the flight delays Jethro and Matthew were only home about twenty minutes before Ana got there. Jethro had gotten Mattie into pajamas and settled in bed and was unpacking his bag when he heard the front door open and close. In that instant of knowing Ana was in the house Jethro felt himself relax. He felt a little spark of something and in that moment everything suddenly seemed right again. He couldn't wait to get his hands on the woman he had finally acknowledged he was in love with.

He got downstairs as Ana was hanging her coat in the hall closet.

"Hello beautiful."

Ana nearly jumped out of her skin. She knew he was home because of the truck in the driveway and lights being on but she hadn't heard him in the house yet.

"Oh lord, Jethro you scared me. Welcome home."

Jethro had her in his arms and was kissing her almost before she finished her sentence. More kissing and touching and holding followed by more kissing and finally they managed to make their way to the couch. Eventually Jethro started a fire and Ana found them some food since they were both starving. Ana wanted a full report on Mike and the folks at the cantina and Jethro said he'd fill her in all the gossip and news.

"Before we get to all that I have something to tell you. When I heard you come in tonight I felt like I could finally breathe again. I mean…I just felt something in my gut that felt like everything was okay now. I'm not saying this right but I want you to know I figured out some stuff while I was gone and I'm ready for us to really be us. I love you Ana. All of me loves you."

"Oh thank god because I didn't renew my lease!"

Jethro looked at her for a moment then burst out laughing. They held onto each other laughing and kissing until they heard fireworks in the neighborhood.

"Sounds like the new year has arrived."

"Good, more excuses to kiss you."

"Let's go upstairs and see what else we can think of to do."

"Yes, ma'am."

That was a new year's celebration they would never forget. After all it was the beginning of a new life for all of them.

Very early the next morning before Mattie woke up, Jethro and Ana were in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking. After Jethro finally told Ana all about how Mike was doing and how Eric was doing with the clinic he sat down and took her hand.

"I have something I want to tell you. When I was in Mexico without you I didn't feel very good. I don't mean sick but just like something wasn't right. And it wasn't. You weren't there and that meant a part of me was missing. I don't want to feel like that again. That's why I said no more birthdays or vacations without you. I need you in my life Ana. I want you to be with me forever how ever long that will be. I love you, babe."

Ana had tears in her eyes. She knew how much Jethro hated it when she cried but he'd have to deal with it because there was no stopping them now.

"Oh, Jethro, I don't know what to say except I love you and I don't ever want you to go on a vacation without me. Or celebrate anything without me."

Jethro pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. "When can we get your stuff and get you moved in here?"

"Today if possible."

"Anything's possible."

That afternoon they moved Ana's few belongings to Jethro's house. She settled in the house and the master bedroom and Jethro told her he finally felt like it was a home. That he felt complete again.

Three days later while Ana was at work Jethro went back to NCIS for the first time in over three years. He sat in his car in the parking lot for a while getting himself prepared to walk back into the building where he and Jenny had shared so much. Images of all the hard work and laughter and tears and some pretty fun times in her office ran through his mind as he sat there watching agents come and go. He wanted to be here but he dreaded that first time in the building without Jenny there.

Finally Jethro got out and made his way to the entrance. The guard on duty recognized him and welcomed him back. Jethro shook his hand and told him he was there to see the Director. The guard told him to go on in. When Jethro stepped off the elevator on "his" floor he saw that Tony and the team were out. He thought that was probably for the best. He quickly went up the stairs and without hesitating entered the outer office of the Director. Cynthia was still there and she beamed at him when he walked in.

"Oh my gosh I am so very happy to see you."

Cynthia came from behind her desk and gave Jethro a hug.

"I'm glad to see you after all this time Cynthia. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Is it true you're coming back?"

"That's what I'm here to find out."

"Please tell me you have a picture of your little one."

"Sure."

Jethro pulled out his phone and showed Cynthia several pictures of Matthew. And one of Ana.

"He looks just like you. And who is this lovely lady?"

"This is Ana Mendez. She's a doctor. And my….well I don't know what to say she is except very important and hopefully a wife some day. But don't spread that around just yet. Please."

"My lips are sealed. She's beautiful. Tell me about Matthew."

"He just turned three last week. He talks a lot sometimes and other times he's very quiet. So, like his mom some days and me others. He has a wonderful disposition; hardly ever fussy or unhappy. He loves trucks and blocks and books. Mattie is a joy, a fun little guy."

"Agent Gibbs I'm very happy for you that you have Matthew. And Ana. Now, Director Vance is in MTAC and said for you to go on in and he'll be with you in a few minutes. He thought maybe you'd want a minute or two in the office alone this first time. Go on in when you're ready and I'll let him know you're here."

"Thank you Cynthia."

Jethro went into the office and closed the door behind him. He stood there for a long moment looking around and remembering. He'd been thinking about this moment since he agreed to come talk to Leon about the job. The smartest thing he'd done was talk to Ana about it. She'd listened to him talk about Jenny and work and lots of stuff until he felt like he'd said all he needed to say. He'd admitted he was a little wary about being back at NCIS but that he also wanted desperately to go back. Ana hadn't said much really she just listened and the held onto him and that made everything alright. He felt much better after that and now standing in the office he was okay with being there. He could still picture Jenny behind the desk and standing looking out the window and yelling at him from the other side of the room but none of those memories were terrible. They were simply memories he'd deal with and put aside.

After a couple of minutes that felt longer, Jethro sat down at the conference table and pretty quickly after that Director Vance walked in followed by the Secretary of the Navy. Jethro stood up and held out his hand.

"Morning, Director. Mr. Secretary."

"Good morning Gibbs. Thanks for coming in."

"Morning Gunny. I just wanted to say hello. I'm going to wander around and bother people. Come find me in autopsy when you're through here."

"I will."

Jethro and Director Vance sat down and Vance handed Jethro some papers that formally described the job he was offering.

Jethro looked at them and then said, "Why don't you just tell me what you think I can do for you, Director."

Vance did just that for the next fifteen minutes or so. "Basically, what I want and what the SecNav has agreed we need, is for you to more or less be a team leader for the agency instead of just the MCRT. I need you to offer suggestions or advice when an investigation is stuck. All the teams will report to you and you will be responsible for signing off on all their final reports. More paperwork than you like, Gibbs."

"I've sorta gotten used to paperwork the last year or so. It sounds good and if you're sure I'm your man then I accept."

"Excellent."

Vance had all the necessary forms already on his desk so Jethro signed everything and just like that he was back.

"You still have a badge?"

"I do."

"Good. Here are your new creds."

"Pretty confident weren't you?"

"Yes." Vance laughed as he handed the newly printed credentials to Jethro.

"Thank you, Director. I'm not sure you understand what this means to me."

"I'm glad to have you Gibbs. We moved some people around so you will have the office on the other side of MTAC. Cynthia has a suggestion for your administrative assistant and I'd recommend you listen to her. She's almost never wrong."

"Yes, I remember. I'll need an assistant?"

"Yes, to keep the paperwork straight for you and help you stay organized. Trust me you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will."

"Okay, can you get started by the fifteenth?"

"Sure."

"Great. Now, I've got a meeting so Cynthia will show you the office and tell you who your assistant should be."

The two men stood up and Jethro shook hands with his new boss.

"Thanks again. I'll see you the fifteenth."

After spending about half an hour with Cynthia, Jethro went down to autopsy to see Ducky and Paul Burke. He found them laughing together at Ducky's desk.

"Hey Duck."

"Ah Jethro, I'm thrilled to hear you're coming back to us."

"I'm pretty happy too, Duck."

Turning to the SecNav Jethro said, "I have a feeling you had a lot to do with this. Am I right?"

"Yes. That's one reason I'm still here. I want to talk to you about this."

Ducky stood up and said, "Let me give you two some privacy."

"No, Ducky please stay. I think you should hear this too."

Jethro pulled up a rolling stool and sat down between two of his oldest, most trusted friends. Ducky had been with Jethro and Jenny in Europe and had been through a lot of difficulties with him. Paul Burke had been in Kuwait with Jethro. He was there when their CO told Jethro that Shannon and Kelly were dead and he was injured in the same mortar attack that almost cost Jethro his leg. Jethro trusted these men with his life. Paul credited Jethro with saving his life in Kuwait but Jethro didn't take any credit for that even though it was very true.

"Sounds pretty serious, Paul."

"Yeah, it is." Paul got up and paced around for a moment then came back to his seat. "Okay, what I want to say is that I'm sorry I didn't get Jenny her assistant years ago when she asked for one. She made a good argument but I just couldn't find the money at the time. Jethro, maybe if I'd gotten her the help she needed she wouldn't have done what she did. Maybe you wouldn't have had to leave and all that mess wouldn't have…."

Jethro reached over and put his hand on Paul's arm, "Hey, that's not why she did what she did. That was all about us, not the job. Paul, you can't blame yourself for that. The blame for what Jenny did was hers and mine."

"I've just thought ever since then that the pressure of the job got to her and if I'd done more to support her maybe it wouldn't have happened. I know it sounds crazy but there it is."

"Paul, listen to me. Even if Jenny had never had the affair she'd still be gone. The difference is if I hadn't found out about the affair and left I'd never have met Ana and that means Matthew and I would be alone now. As it is, I have someone to love again and Matthew will have a mother. I know it's an overused phrase but it's true, everything happens for a reason."

"I guess I hadn't thought of all that. Thank you Jethro."

"No, I'm the one who needs to say thank you. I've been struggling for the past two years to figure out how to have a future. With Ana's help I realized part of what was holding me back was I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. You know, not a Marine or an Agent. Now, coming back to NCIS I do. I finally feel like I can move on with my life. Move on with Ana and make a family with her and Mattie. You made that possible, Paul. I can never thank you enough for that."

"Well, considering that if you hadn't shot that bad guy who was about to grab me in Kuwait I'd be dead long ago, I'd say we're even."

Ducky was busy wiping his eyes while Paul and Jethro hugged and slapped each other on the back.

"Alright, I have to get back to work. Ducky thanks for the break. Jethro, make me look good will ya?"

"Do my best."

"Hey, is there a wedding in your future?"

"Probably. Not sure when but yes, I'd say so."

"Good. See you guys later."

Jethro and Ducky talked for a while longer and Ducky told Jethro how happy he was for him not only to be coming back to NCIS but also to have Ana in his life.

"Things are really on the right track, Duck. I'm almost afraid to say it out loud in case I jinx things."

"No, you deserve this happiness Jethro. This job will be good for you and for the agency. You just enjoy your life my friend."

"That's the plan."

As planned Jethro went back to NCIS on January fifteenth. He loved being back in the action and back with the people who had meant so much to him for so long. He liked having an office and an assistant and plenty to keep him busy. Being able to see Ducky and Abby regularly along with DiNozzo and McGee was as good as he thought it would be.

Jethro and Ana were engaged on Valentine's Day simply because Jethro couldn't wait any longer to propose and Tony wouldn't leave the idea alone.

Ana was working the seven to three shift that day so she was already home when Jethro got there about six o'clock. There had been no talk of marriage since Ana moved in so Jethro was pretty sure he was going to surprise her with his proposal. He had no doubt about her answer but he was still a little nervous. The past month had been a busy but very happy one for the couple. Ana loved her work and now that Jethro was back at NCIS he was at last truly happy at work too. Being back where he and Jenny had worked together for so long was not difficult; in fact it seemed to give Jethro some peace. Tonight he was going to take the final step in his journey back from the pain of losing Jenny. He was going to step into his future with Ana and Mattie and he was excited to make that happen.

On his way home Jethro picked up Italian from his favorite spot because they had already arranged for Noemi to go home when Ana got home from work. It seemed Noemi had reconnected with an old friend and he was taking her out to dinner. Jethro kidded her all the time about her running off with Oscar and leaving him but Noemi assured him that was not going to happen. When he walked in the door Mattie came running from the kitchen and crashed into his daddy.

"Hi, daddy."

Jethro ruffled his son's hair, "Hi little one. You been a good boy today?"

"Yes. Ana gave me a present."

"She did? Why did you get a present?"

"She said I'm her favorite boy."

"I thought I was her favorite."

By this time they were in the kitchen and Ana turned around from the sink smiling at their exchange.

"You are my favorite big boy but Mattie is my favorite little boy."

Jethro leaned in and kissed her, "What happens when he's a big boy too?"

"Then you'll be my favorite old boy."

"Ouch! I love you too."

"Let me have all that and you go change and relax. I'll warm this up and we can eat in about twenty minutes."

"Perfect."

After a relaxing feast of salad, lasagna and breadsticks, Ana shooed her favorite boys out of the kitchen while she cleaned up. She had given Mattie a new puzzle for Valentine's day and he wanted his daddy to help him with it. Ana listened to them talking about how to do the puzzle and she was struck again by how much she loved those two. Since Jethro had come home from Mexico their life together had been everything she'd ever hoped for. All the time she'd waited had been worth it and she knew she and Jethro would be happy together forever.

Since it was a Friday and Ana had a rare Saturday off the next day no one had to get up early so they let Mattie stay up late and roast marshmallows in the fireplace. By the time he was ready for bed his daddy was getting anxious to be alone with Ana and get on with his plans. Jethro got Mattie to bed and while Ana was kissing him goodnight, Jethro hustled to the basement to retrieve the engagement ring from its hiding place in the workbench. He opened the box to check one last time and of course the ring was securely in place. He'd chosen a simple platinum band with inset diamonds that would nestle inside the wedding band when the time came for that. Ziva had gone with him to pick it out and had assured him Ana would love it.

Jethro took a deep breath and headed up the stairs. Ana was already on the couch snuggled under a light blanket waiting for her favorite warming device to show up. Once she had Jethro to snuggle with she wouldn't need a blanket.

"You want some dessert?"

"I'll share a piece with you."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

Jethro went to the kitchen and cut them a piece of cheesecake and got himself a cup of coffee. Ana encouraged more water and less coffee but in Jethro's opinion, dessert called for coffee. Once they were settled Ana ate at least her share of the creamy, wonderful cheesecake.

"Why do you always get this sinful thing?"

"Cos I know you love it as much as I do. Besides, Rosa sent it tonight for Valentine's Day. I didn't order it this time."

"Okay then it's alright."

Jethro set the plate on the table and took a drink of his coffee then put the cup down. He reached behind him and pulled the ring box out of his pocket. Ana was leaning into his side holding onto his arm and Jethro was afraid she was about to fall asleep. She was not. Jethro wasn't the only one with a Valentine gift but she wasn't in a hurry. The fire was perfect, she was full and she was cuddled up with the man of her dreams. What could be better? She was about to find out.

Jethro shifted a little and Ana had to sit up. The next thing she knew Jethro was off the couch and down on one knee. She closed her eyes and took a breath.

"Hey, open your eyes."

She did and when she looked at him he said, "Ana, I love you with all my heart. I want you to be with me always. Will you marry me?"

He held up the ring box and Ana was forced to look away from his face to see the ring. It took her breath away.

"Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes. Oh, Jethro I love you so much."

He slipped the ring on her finger and leaned into her and kissed her softly on the mouth. The kiss went on and on and finally he got up and pulled her into his arms. He danced her around the room and they laughed and kissed and Ana cried tears of pure joy and happiness.

"I surprised you didn't I?"

"Yes, you certainly did. I would have thought the idea of proposing on Valentine's day would be too cliché for you."

"DiNozzo wouldn't let the idea go. I had to shut him up."

"So I should thank Tony for this proposal?"

"I don't care who you thank as long as you said yes, that's all I care about. He can have the credit as long as I get you."

"Well you've surely got me. Now, let's sit down because I have a present for you."

Ana went to the closet and pulled out a gift box she'd hidden there earlier in the day. She went back to the couch and sat down sideways and handed Jethro the box. He had no idea what it might be. It was wrapped in red paper with hearts all over and tied with a white bow. When he didn't open it right away Ana got sort of nervous. She had done very well at hiding her excitement about this gift but now that it was in Jethro's hands she wanted it open.

"Hurry up."

"Geez, okay."

Jethro opened the box and folded back the tissue paper to find a framed picture of Mattie holding something. He didn't pay any attention to that; he was focused on what a handsome boy his son was becoming.

"This is a great picture. When did you do this?"

Ana shook her head. Of course all he saw was his child; not what his child was holding.

"I took it today and had it printed and framed this afternoon before you got home. Jethro, read the sign he's holding."

Jethro looked closer at the picture and saw that Mattie was holding a piece of poster board with a message written in magic marker. The sign said,

 **I'm going to be a**

 **BIG BROTHER**

 **in September**

Jethro read it again and looked up at Ana who by now was about to come out of her skin with excitement.

"Big brother? You're pregnant? Oh my god, Ana that's fabulous. Wow, how….I mean I know how but what….? Never mind I don't care. This is so great."

"Yes. Quite the surprise huh?"

"Are you okay with this?"

"Yes, very much. I wasn't sure how you'd feel though since of course we haven't talked about kids and certainly this is an unexpected development."

"I'm thrilled. I can't think of a better surprise. You have made me unbelievably happy twice tonight. I love you, babe."

Ana had been nervous about telling Jethro about the pregnancy because it was definitely unplanned and they were still in the early stages of living together. She was happy and had been pretty sure he would be too but until she saw his face light up she worried just a tiny bit. Seeing that smile though told her all she needed to know; Jethro was happy.

"I guess our New Year's celebration was even more wonderful than what we thought."

"Apparently. So when did you find out?"

"Just a couple of days ago. It's still very, very early so I'd like to keep this between us for a while. I mean, I don't expect any problems but you never know."

"I understand. We'll keep this to ourselves for a few months. Did you tell Mattie?"

"No, I just said the sign was a wish for daddy."

"Okay, let's keep the picture in the bedroom. Noemi will see it though."

"I don't care if she knows. But no one else for a while."

"I'm good with that. Now, when can you and I get married?"

They were married in a small ceremony on the Navy Yard on April tenth because it was Ana's mother's birthday. Mike was there to escort Ana down the aisle. Ducky stood up for Jethro as the Best Man and Carmelita, who Jethro had flown in as a surprise for Ana, stood up for her as the Maid of Honor. After the wedding everyone gathered at the house for a party that lasted well into the night.

On September twelfth what had begun sometime in the wee hours of New Year's Day finally came to fruition and they welcomed a daughter to the family. Ella Marie had her mother's dark hair and eyes and her father was beside himself with pure happiness when he held his daughter for the first time. Mattie wasn't sure about a baby but he agreed she smelled good and was very soft.

There were still days when Jethro looked at Matthew and missed his mother. But those days were fewer and farther between now. The memory of Jenny was more light than darkness after Jethro gave into the love he felt for Ana. Still, there were some unexpected difficult days in the first few months of Ella's life. Seeing Ana nursing the baby, getting up in the middle of the night, and all the other things that went with having a new baby in the house, brought back a lot of memories for Jethro. He struggled with those memories by himself for a few weeks until one night Ana simply would not allow him to do so any longer.

She found him in the basement late one night when Ella was about three months old. He had started building a wall unit for Ella's room and Ana found him sanding the shelves at midnight.

"Jethro, come to bed."

"In a little while."

"No, not in a little while. You need sleep. And, you need to tell me what's going on with you."

"Nothing."

"Please don't insult me, Jethro. Something has been wrong for the last two weeks and I need you to talk to me. It's about Ella isn't it? Or is it Kelly and having another daughter? Or is it Jenny and Mattie? You think I don't know that watching me with the baby is giving you flashbacks? I can see it in your eyes, Jethro. You don't have to hide it from me."

When he finally looked at her she saw tears in his eyes. He was standing against the workbench, covered in a fine dusting of sawdust and sweat. He looked lost and as sad as Ana had seen him look in a long time. She stood in front of him and leaned in wrapping her arms around him and holding on.

Jethro hugged her and took some deep breaths to try and pull himself together. He'd forgotten somehow just how well Ana could read him.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled into her hair. "Yes, I'm having some trouble with all the memories of those months after Mattie was born."

"Then let's talk about it. Tell me what you're feeling or thinking. I can't fix it but you can't get past it if you don't get it out. You know that. You don't have to apologize. I love you and I want you to enjoy Ella."

"I do enjoy her. I love her totally you have to believe me. I'm not struggling because of her. Please tell me you know how much I adore our child."

"Oh sweetheart, I know that. I know you love her. But you can't fully enjoy her if it's bringing back painful memories all the time. You know you need to get those out in the light and let them go."

"Yes, I do know that and I will but can we start doing that tomorrow? I'm beat and I'd like to have a shower with Ella's mom and then go to bed."

"That sounds good to me. Promise me you won't try and deal with all this alone anymore"

"I promise. I love you."

After that night Jethro was able to talk about his memories and share his sadness which of course made it easier to bear. Ana made a point of including him in all of Ella's care which wasn't hard to do because he was totally smitten with his daughter and was an eager and very competent father. Before long the difficult memories were overwhelmed by the sheer joy Jethro found in having another child and a daughter at that.

The household was now full of laughter and love and Jethro finally had that love he had missed so much; the love of someone who thought he was special and who always made him feel good. Except now he had it not just from one person but from three.

END


End file.
